Talking
(Actions)
Thoughts
Note: This chapter MAJORLY bashes cats, if this will make you mad, do not read any further, I don't want flames.Well, Mad-for-Manga, I was originally going to use the monkeys for another captain underpants chapter, but it seemed complete enough XD. I might go back and do more later. (hehe) So, I'm paying them just as much to be in this chapter. WooT. Anyways, I've been a little off since 5th period on Tuesday...(hehe). There was this bones worksheet we had to do (Sometimes I feel like I'm in kindergarten!) and it was in this weird position that looked like it was running/dancing/chanting/summoning the spirits of the deceased. Just looking at the pathetic thing was enough to make me laugh. So...I took the artistic liberty of drawing Tetsusaiga in its hand XD. I had to MAJORLY restrain myself from bursting out laughing in the middle of class. I hope we don't have to turn that in...oops. And also, to moo-moo-miko: I haven't seen Harry Bladder, I mean Potter, and so I wouldn't really be able to do the movies justice. Thank you for the suggestion anyway though. This one has more to do with InuTaishio and Izayoi (whom the computer wanted to name 'Yazoo'). Well, I'm sure you're bored by now sooooo...here's some more pointless stupidity. No, I don't think this has anything to do with soda, but, none of you really seem to care. I have therefore entitled this chapter...The Catfud Song
(with much help from and thanx to PyroNekoYoukai and my dad)
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InuTaishio: (singing) I'm in the kitchen...makin' chicken...dododododododo...
Fluffy: What do you think he's really doing, Inuyasha?
Inu: The usual.
InuTaishio: (turns to look at TV while frying something)
TV: Now available...The new Uncle Squishy's deep fried lard chips! (Quotes pop up. You know, those stupid ones they always use)
"They're mmmm...mmmm...great!"
"This is the wor...(hears loud banging) best thigh I've ever tasted!"
InuTaishio: Thigh?
TV: "Shut up and eat your peas!"
InuTaishio: (with one eyebrow raised) I'm gonna change the channel now...(throws remote at TV and changes to another show)
TV: It's
WHEEL
OF
PHISH!
InuTaishio: (goes back to cooking)
Izayoi: don't tell me he's watching tv and making dinner at the same time AGAIN.
Fluffy: yep, the usual.
Izayoi: Honey, what are you cooking?
InuTaishio: Ca..I mean Chicken! Why?
Inu: Hey mom, have seen Scratchy?
Izayoi: no, not lately. Honey, have you seen the cat?
InuTaisho: Anu...(looks down into garbage can)
Fluffy: Watcha lookin' at there Dad?
InuTaisho: (glares)
Fluffy: Hey mom, there's a dismembered corpse in the trash can!
Izayoi: INUTAISHIO!
Inu: What happened to the cat?
Fluffy: he's gone to a better place.
Inu: really?
Fluffy: No.
InuTaisho: SESSHOMARU!
Fluffy: What?
Inu: You mean...
InuTaishio: He's too young; he doesn't need to know anything about DEATH!
Inu: DAD! YOU KILED SCRATCHY!
InuTaishio: (face turns red)
a/n: this isn't exactly a blush, it kinda well...you know what I mean!
Izayoi: YOU KILLED THE CAT! AGAIN!
Fluffy: Ya know, Mr. Skin tasted pretty good.
Inu: SESSHOMARU!
Fluffy: what? That thing was pretty mangy to begin with. Come on, it never even had any hair!
InuTaishio: Sorry...I'm addicted to cats. They taste so GOOD!
Izayoi: Stop being so morbid!
Inu: WAAAA!
Fluffy: time to punish him!
InuTaishio: (wimpers)
Inzayoi: don't worry, my parents are coming in three days, I'll let you out by then.
InuTaishio: NO! DON'T DO IT!
Fluffy: oh, yes.
-30 minutes later-
(InuTaishio has been thrown into a closet)
Izayoi: AND YOU CAN LIVE ON CAT FOOD FOR THE NEXT THREE DAYS!
Fluffy: You should have known better than to mess with her, dad. It's a real mess when she gets mad.
InuTaishio: No! Lemme outta here! (starts banging on door)
Izayoi: Nope. Not gonna fall for it this time.
-Day One-
(InuTaishio sitting corner opposite of bag of cat food)
InuTaishio: (glares at bag of food) humph. Stupid women. Who needs 'em? I can make it on my own! I have...this! (pulls out monopoly) - Great, I have board games as company for the next three days. Who knows what else is living in here. Come to think of it, Sesshomaru was the last one to clean this out. oo I remember the last time he 'cleaned' something. When I opened the cabinet this...thing...jumped out. It chased Inuyasha around the outside of the house for a few hours.
(low growling noises)
InuTaishio: Crap. This can't be good.
(growling continues)
InuTaishio: This cat food smell is really strong. Maybe I'll play monopoly while I'm here. Oh Toasted!
(monkey comes out of nowhere and appears next to InuTaishio with lantern)
Toasted: chibichibichibichibichibichibichibi!
InuTaishio: be quiet! You don't want anyone to hear, do you?
Toasted: (sets up monopoly board)
InuTaishio: It's LOTR version!
a/n: LOTR is my abbreviation for Lord of the Rings
Toasted: (grabs and eats Frodo figure)
InuTaishio: I never liked him much anyway.
Toasted: (picks up Gandalf figure and places it on start)
InuTaishio: (Picks up Gollum figure) (starts dancing)
The cold hard lands
they bites our hands,
they gnaws our feet.
The rocks and stones
are like old bones
all bare of meat.
But stream and pool
is wet and cool:
so nice for feet!
And now we wish -
Alive without breath;
as cold as death;
never thirsting, ever drinking
clad in mail, never clinking.
Drowns on dry land,
thinks an island
is a mountain;
thinks a fountain
is a puff of air.
So sleek, so fair!
What a joy to meet!
We only wish
to catch a fish,
so juicy-sweet!
So juicy sweeeeeeet!
Toasted: (cocks head) right
-Three hours later-
InuTaishio: I can't believe I lost to a monkey.
Toasted: (does freaky chanting and runs off into the depths of the closet with 10,000 yen)
a/n: That's 90 dollars. I saw the value in my shonen jump and figured why not? It was either that or 18 cents.
InuTaishio: It's a good thing that monkey doesn't start his own business, he'd be more successful than that guy on that TV show...gah, what was it?
-Day 2-
InuTaishio: sooooo...hungry...need...food...(sees cat food) nooo...mustn't...give...in...to...temptation...
(stomach growls)
InuTaishio: but it looks so good
No, must uphold pride
I'm in a closet, who's going to notice?
What's Sesshomaru going to say?
The child doesn't even know what it's like to be hungry, he doesn't eat!
That means nothing to him, you and I both know that.
Yeah, but I'm so hungry...
(sigh) how could you sink this low.
Easy, my wife locked me in a closet.
(slaps forehead)
-20 minutes later-
(is eating out of bag of cat food)
InuTaishio: Wow, this stuff isn't so bad!
Sesshomaru: (standing outside of closet) So, he finally broke down. (hehe) This is great blackmail.
Izayoi: He should come out now, he probably needs a bath...
Inu: No doubt about that.
Fluffy: I can take care of that. Inuyasha, you open the closet.
Inu: ok. (opens closet doors) You can come out now dad.
Fluffy: Ha! (throws bucket of ice water)
InuTaishio: COLD! (jumps around) coldcoldcoldcoldcoldcold!
Izayoi: Sesshomaru, was that really necessary?
Fluffy: probably not.
InuTaishio: (falls over anime style)
-The next Day-
(doorbell rings)
Inu: I'll get it!
-
I originally intended to post the whole thing, but this was pretty long in itself. I'm sorry for taking so long to post this one, I've just been lazy. Anyway, I have another story under construction, that's had little parts getting done at a time since Thanksgiving, so hopefully I'll get that posted up eventually also. WooT! Can't wait to get the next chapter done.