AN- Disclaimer. I do not own Middle Earth or its inhabitants. I do control their fu#ed up actions though...
Chapter 2
It has been 3 days since it began. After they ran away, they waited till night-fall and went back to grab their stuff. It was costly though. Elrond got turned into a Scotsman when the Scotsmen started playing their bagpipes as an alarm so Gandalf, who was on the tower of Isengard to turn Elrond into a Scotsman. But Elrond's sacrifice was not in vain. The party grabbed swords, axes, food, The Elven rings of power, weapons, Bill the Pony (he was already a Shetland pony), wrenches, and traveling gear. Now they where marching through a valley when …they met … HIM. "I'm King Author, king of Britons!" He said. "And this is my trusted servant Patsy!" he said again. Who the hell are Britons? thought Aragorn.
"I am seeking Knights for my court at Camelot!" said King Author. "Join me, for I am your king!"
"I will NOT join your court at Camelot! There is no Camelot or Briton in this world! In fact, I'm on my OWN quest, and I, as king of men, conscript YOU to join It." yelled Aragorn.
"But I'm," started King Author, when he yelled, "Jesus Christ!" as a giant Blancmange barely missed King Arthur, and instead landed on Patsy, devouring him in an instant.
"Holy Shit!" said RS#8(Rohan soldier #8) as he grabbed a wrench, threw it at the Blancmange, instantly killing it.
"How did you bloody do that?" yelled Sam.
"These are magical wrenches made by the Valar themselves,'' said RS#8.
"Who's Jesus Christ?" said Eowen.
"I don't know, it just sounds good'' replied King Author.