Sorry for the updating delay you guys, I got tired of my other idea, and you know how that goes. But anyways, I've had this one written down for awhile, and I think it's much funnier than the previous. I'm always open to ideas for new chapters, don't forget! Yes, I find great amusement in sending the Inu brothers into Victoria's Secret! Hope you guys enjoy this chapter, entitled: The Christmas Incident.
Inu: Please please please!
Fluffy: c'mon! Say it louder!
Inu: PLEASE!
Fluffy: remind me again why you're here.
Inu: I need help picking out a Christmas present for Kagome!
Fluffy: and I would be of use to you how?
Inu: I don't know what girls like!
Fluffy: And I do!
Inu: duh, you are a girl.
Fluffy: Listen to mw, what screwed up girl has a voice like this!
Inu: You, apparently.
Fluffy: this is your idea of asking for help?
Inu: C'mon! I nee you to help me pick something out!
Fluffy: What's in it for me?
Inu: I'll let you get anything you want from the mall, ANYTHING!
Fluffy: (sigh)
Later-
Inu: how is this going to get us anywhere?
Fluffy: shut up! This takes concentration!
Inu: What? You're re-arranging colored strings in Kagome's noise maker, how much concentration does that take?
Fluffy: First of all it's a car; second, these are wires, third, shut up!
Inu: ok then Mr. Know-it-all, what's this? (points to wire)
Fluffy: don't touch that, it'll mess up the ignition.
a/n: I know nothing about cars...
Inu: and how do you know all this?
Fluffy: I stole and read your wench's book on mechanics; very informative.
Inu: and what, may I ask, are you doing?
Fluffy: (sigh) I'm hot-wiring the car.
Inu: wha...?
Fluffy: We can start it up without the keys.
(car starts up)
Fluffy: perfect. Now, get in.
Later, at the mall-
Fluffy: where to?
Inu: ummm...
Fluffy: how about in there? (points to pink store)
a/n: you know it!
Inu: I dunno...I don't think guys are supposed to go in there. Something in my instincts warns me against it. I'm gonna stay out here. I'm sure you'll be fine.
Fluffy: have you made a habit out of questioning my gender?
Inu: It's not like I can tell.
Fluffy: you're going in that store with me, whether you like it or not.
Inu: make me. (sits on ground defiantly)
Fluffy: so you wanna do this the hard way, do ya? (grabs inu's kimono sleeves and starts dragging him toward the store entrance)
Inu: no! don't do it!
Fluffy: Why are you so reluctant to go in anyways? It seems like this place would suit you quite well.
Inu: (dragging claws against floor)
Fluffy: Be a man. More importantly, be a more respectable human being. I thought you were 'brave'
a/n: notice the emphasis
Inu: I take it back lemme outta here! Lemme run around screaming like a little girl! I want my mommy!
Fluffy: too bad. Your mother's dead!
Inu: that's not nice Sesshomaru, that's...that's really true.
Fluffy: Suck it up. What are you a man or a cat!
Inu: but I'm an Inu Hanyou.
Fluffy: chose!
Inu: uhhh...man...?
Fluffy: well, you really suck!
Inu: okay, cat then.
Fluffy: HAHA! You still suck! You piss in a box! Now, come, cat, into the store!
Inu: AND WHAT IS IT THAT YOU DO THEN!
Fluffy: let's just call it 'expanding the territory'
Inu: so THAT'S what happened when Kagome slipped on the god tree the other day!
Fluffy: (glares)
Inu: (hehe)
Fluffy: (starts dragging into store again)
Inu: nonononononononononono!
Fluffy: You drug my 500 years into the future! I'm not leaving without something from this store!
Inu: no!
Fluffy: (walks up to counter) Yes, my friend here needs help picking out a present for his wen---uhhhh, girlfriend.
Inu: friend? What are you talking about?
Fluffy: would you rather 'I brought my scared little brother into a women's clothing store because he was too scared to go alone'?
Inu: It's probably better than being dragged around the mall be some gay weirdo.
Fluffy: (kicks)
Attendant: (talking to inu: who has gotten up off the ground) What's her size?
Inu: I dunno. (looks at Sesshomaru)
Fluffy: she's your wench!
Inu: no she's not!
Fluffy: well, there goes one theory. (takes out sheet of paper and crosses something off)
Inu: what's that?
Fluffy: my list of theories about you.
Inu: read me one of those!
Fluffy: theory number 667: at exactly 1:26 every morning Inuyasha goes downstairs and eats all of the wench's French toast; then dances with a rubber chicken to 'Man, I feel like a woman'.
Inu: I only did that once!
Attendant: We could try and find the right size by eyeing it. How does this one look?
Inu: wadda you think, fluff boy?
Fluffy: What! You think I'm some kinda pervert! I don't stare at 'em! (wait, did he just call me fluff boy?)
Inu: I agree, too small.
Fluffy: (godd...)
Attendant: do you like this one?
Inu: hmmmm...still looks a little small.
Attendant: what about this one?
Inu: perfect!
Fluffy: THAT ONE!
Attendant: now, which color!
a/n: it's a field day.
Inu: I like the pink one!
Fluffy: (slaps forehead) I am not related to that...
Inu: or maybe the red one! ooooo, this one's soft!
Attendant: do you want any of these? We're having a sale.
Inu: what is it?
Fluffy: (picks up and shoots at fat guy who's walking by) (wow, that works almost as well as the condoms...)
Attendant: miss, would you like to try some on?
Fluffy: how many times must I tell you people? I AM A MAN.
Attendant&inu: denial.
Fluffy: you know what, we're checking out.
(walk to cash register)
cashier: that'll be...$100.03
Fluffy: oh, the life I live. Do you accept severed human heads? (starts looking in kimono sleeves)
Cashier: just take it and go.
Fluffy: it works every time. Now, what do I want...?
Inu: joy.
As they are walking, Inuyasha gets behind Sesshomaru and starts whispering 'man, I feel like a woman'
Fluffy: (slaps)
Inu:ooowwww...
Fluffy: how about that? (points to something in pet store)
Inu: what's it say?
Fluffy: that doesn't matter, just buy it.
Inu: (sigh) (walks up to cash register) do you accept severed human heads? (starts looking in kimono sleeves)
Cashier: take it an LEAVE!
In the parking lot-
Inu:(while walking towards car) that severed head thing works pretty well.
Fluffy: or course it works, I came up with it. Now, since the wench's car is already taken care of, it won't take as long to start up as last time.
Inu: good. Question, what was it you had me buy?
Fluffy: oh, nothing...(starts up car)
Later that night-
Inu: here Kagome, Merry Christmas.
Kagome: Thank you! But, how did you know my size?
Inu: I eyed it.
a/n: mistake.
Kagome: O.o GAH! PERV! (starts chasing around outside of Kaede's hut)
Miroku: My dearest lady Sango, I have also purchased you a gift.
Sango: I wonder what it is! (shakes tiny box)
Miroku: I hopw you like it, I took special care in picking it out!
Sango: (opens)...houshi-sama, may I have a word with you?
Miroku: (oh god! It's the 'houshi-sama' voice!)
a/n: our favorite perverted monk has bought Sango something that starts with the third letter of the alphabet. Apparently he thinks it will come in handy sometime soon.
Fluffy: I'll leave this here.
He leaves a card that reads as follows: halfbreed. Enjoy, it's your own piss-box.
(tell me specifically in your review if you want to see the doodle he put at the bottom, and I will gladly send it to you! Remember to put your email address though.)
Fluffy: (hehe)
half an hour later-
Inu: I'm so sorry Kagome!
Kagome: you should be! Huh, what's this?
Inu: (picks up card) what's it say!
Kagome: gimme that. (Snatches out of hand)
Inu: (starts playing with contents of box) I know what this is! It's sand! The kind at the ocean! Look Kagome, I made a sand castle!
a/n: it's kitty litter, you guys
Kagome: I don't think its sand.
Inu: what is it then? Futuristic sand?
Kagome: it's Sesshomaru's idea of a Christmas present. (a twisted one at that)
Kirara: (finishes burying something)
Inu: eh? Look Kagome! The castle has a moat!
I'm so sorry for not updating! I feel really bad about it! So I'm going to write another chapter today! It's called: Newscaster SOS. Remember to review!
