Title: Saint Lilly
Author: Modern-Insomniac1138
Pairing/Character: LoVe, Logan/Lilly
Word Count: 4,260
Rating: R ( for strong language, alcohol intake, fire, and death. You've been warned. )
Summary: Lilly's not dead, but that doesn't stop the inevitable. AU. FutureFic. One shot.
Disclaimer: I do not own Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas does. Though I wish I owned Logan… Oh well!
"Lilly, are you fucking drunk again?" a 26-year-old Logan Echolls asked angrily as he helped his wife into the house.
"God, Logan! You seriously have to get out more, and have some fun!" a 27-year-old Lilly Echolls giggled as she stumbled into the house.
"Lilly, be careful!" he shouted as he helped keep her balance.
"Don't worry about witty old me." she slurred as he tried helping her to their bedroom.
"Don't touch me! I can do it myself, I'm a big girl now, dad." she said as she pushed him away.
Logan and Lilly Echolls, the ideal All-American couple, right? The answer is a surprising, no. They didn't get married in a beautiful, romantic setting with all their family and friends. They were just a couple of drunk kids who got married in Las Vegas because of too many alcoholic beverages. After the wedding, they moved to Los Angeles and started their new life together. Their marriage consisted of arguments and bitter spats. They knew they didn't love each other anymore, they just wouldn't admit it to one other.
"Lilly, just let me help you." he said pleadingly.
"Logan, you don't need to help me, I'm fine! Why don't you go into your office and write your stupid stories. That's all you ever do." Lilly said bitterly as she stumbled into their bedroom.
Logan Echolls was now a successful author. Yes, the same Logan Echolls that held bum fights at the beach and called any Mexican he saw his "pool boy", was now a famous author. He has written only two books, but he is well known in the world of literature. After his senior year, he and Lilly got married. A year later, he decided that he wanted to attend college at UCLA. There, he discovered his love of writing.
Lilly, on the other hand, was barely anything now. After her senior year, she decided she didn't need to go to college. She was famous and rich for being the daughter of software billionaire, Jake Kane and the wife of Logan Echolls, the son of Aaron and Lynn Echolls. She didn't need a job. She lived off of her father's and Logan's money. She just shopped, bitched, and hung out with her friends all day.
"God Lilly will you just fucking grow up!" he shouted as he followed her.
"Wow, Logan, I think you're starting to sound like Jake and Celeste more and more everyday." she said laughing as she entered their room with Logan right behind her. "Anyway, what gives you the right to rule my fucking life, you asshole!" she spat as she plopped onto the bed.
"Well, I don't know Lilly, maybe the fact that you're my fucking wife!" he shouted loudly.
"Yeah, well I wish I wasn't." she muttered under her breath.
"So where were you tonight?" he asked angrily.
"None of you fucking business!" she answered.
"So were you with Paul, Kevin, or John?" he asked bitterly.
"God Logan, it's none of your fucking business. I don't care who I was with, as long as I wasn't with you!" she yelled.
Logan stood there as if he had been hit by a train. The look of sadness and defeat registered all over his face.
"Whatever, Lilly." he said bitterly as he walked out of the room.
"Are you leaving me because of Veronica?" Lilly asked angrily.
"Lilly..." Logan started as he rubbed his forehead in frustration. He just told his wife of eight years, that he was going to leave her.
"No, Logan tell me! Are you leaving me because of that stupid whore?" Lilly asked loudly.
At the remark, Logan quickly stood up from where he was sitting and yelled, "Don't you fucking calling her that!"
"Oh, so now I get it. You're going to divorce me and marry her, so you two can live your stupid fantasy life! I can't believe you're going to bail on an eight year marriage! I thought you fucking loved me!" Lilly screamed.
"I loved you Lilly, you're the one who apparently doesn't love me. You bailed on this marriage a long time ago, and you damn well know it! You're the one with all the fucking affairs, all the parties, and all the alcohol. You're the one who forced me to do this, not her." he said loudly.
"Well, you should have paid more attention to me than your damn stories and books! Anyway, it's not only me who's been having an affair. You've been having an affair with her, my best friend, for two fucking years, you asshole!" she shouted.
"Well, at least I'm having an affair with only one person." he taunted.
Lilly slapped him hard across the face. Logan held his left cheek in pain.
"Like it or not, I'm leaving you. I'm leaving you so you can have your life. You can come home whenever you want now, you can sleep with whoever you want now, you can live the way you want to live now. I'm going to stop pushing you to grow up, I'm going to stop thinking that you're going to change, and I'm going to have somebody in my miserable life that actually loves me! I should have left you years ago! Veronica was right, you've only gotten worse." Logan said bitterly as he left the room.
"You're really doing this, aren't you?" Lilly asked in disbelief as she watched her husband finish packing.
"Yes, Lilly, I really am." Logan answered flatly as he zipped all of his suitcases closed.
"Where are you going to stay?" she asked.
"I'm going to stay with Duncan and Meg for a while, then when the divorce is over, I plan to marry Veronica. After that, we're going to move into a small, nice house with a white picket fence." he said as he picked up his suitcases, and walked past her.
"Oh Logan, how cliche!" Lilly said sarcastically. "So, do you need help with anything?" she offered as she opened the door for him.
"No, it's okay." he said walking over to his car.
Lilly stood there leaning on the door frame, just staring at him. This is what she wanted, right?
Logan and Lilly filed for divorce a couple of weeks after their fight. Logan decided that now it was time to move out. He wanted to move in with Veronica, but he had a heart. He didn't want to upset Lilly. Even though Lilly could be a real bitch sometimes, he still loved her. He knew that it wouldn't be right to move in with Veronica so soon. Lilly and him weren't even divorced yet. So he decided to stay with Duncan, his wife and high school sweetheart, Meg, and their 3-year-old son, Oliver. Logan knew that it was for the best.
Logan closed the car's trunk, and approached Lilly.
"So, I guess after eight years, this is good-bye." Lilly said bitterly.
"Lilly... I...I'll always love you." he said looking deep into her eyes. For a split second, he swore that he could see how vulnerable and heartbroken she was. Her eyes screamed for him not to leave, but then she blinked and turned her face away.
"Yeah, great way of showing it. Well, I think it'stime for you to get to your precious Veronica Mars." she said.
Logan clenched his jaw. Lilly always had to ruin a moment. "God Lilly, good-bye." he spat as he walked to his car and got in. He quickly drove away. As he drove, he smiled a little. He knew that this was the beginning of a new chapter in his life.
"You may kiss the bride." the preacher said.
A 28-year-old Logan Echolls faced his new wife, Veronica Echolls. They smiled at each other lovingly, before he leaned in to kiss her. It was their wedding day. After years of waiting, their special day had come. It's been a two years since his divorce. Once the divorce was settled, he moved out of Duncan and Meg's house and moved in with Veronica. A year later, he asked her to marry him.
It's also been two years since he's seen or even heard from Lilly. He went to see her a year ago to tell her about his engagement to Veronica. He thought she should hear from him in person, that her ex-husband was going to marry her ex-best friend. He came only to find the house empty. Duncan had told him that Lilly moved to god knows where, and that she was drinking and partying like it was her last. Inside, Logan blamed himself.
When their lips parted, Logan smiled adoringly at Veronica. "I'm the happiest man alive today, Ronnie." he said smirking.
"Don't be such a jackass and shut up." she said as she kissed him passionately on the lips again.
"I love you." he whispered as their lips parted.
Today they were the happiest people alive, today Lilly was the loneliest person alive. She stood in the back of the church with a bottle of whisky staring at the two love birds. It made her sick. She knew that nobody would really recognize her, she didn't look the same. She had gotten skinnier and she dyed her beautiful blonde hair to a dark, morbid black. Sunglasses hid her bloodshot eyes with dark bags underneath. She didn't look like Lilly. She didn't really know who she was these days.
She had just gotten back from London, or Paris? She couldn't remember, right now her attention was on Logan and Veronica. She was plain Lilly Kane, now. She stared intently at Veronica, the most. That was Lilly's best friend marrying her ex-husband. She remembers the day when she confronted Veronica about her affair with Logan. Veronica pretended not to know what Lilly was talking about, then Lilly slapped her. Lilly called Veronica a liar and a slut, and was about to slap her again, when a pair of strong hands held her back. It seemed that Logan had followed Lilly to Veronica's house. Lilly released herself from Logan's grip and drove herself home. Logan and Lilly never talked about his affair again, until Logan told her that he was leaving her a few days later.
She missed Veronica and Logan. She wished everything was the same. When Logan was with her, and Duncan was with Veronica, but things don't stay the way you like. Everything seemed perfect, they were the "fab four" in high school, then Duncan broke up with Veronica. He realized that they weren't meant for each other. Veronica didn't take the breakup lightly. She was sad and terribly heartbroken. Of course, a good friend should comfort a grieving friend, but Lilly didn't do such a thing. She just told Veronica to get over it and move on. Logan, on the other hand, comforted Veronica everyday for a month. Much to Lilly's dismay, Logan and Veronica started becoming closer. This scared Lilly a little bit, but she knew that Logan and Veronica weren't romantically into each other. Lilly told herself everyday that they were just friends.
After high school and Logan and Lilly's marriage, Logan and Veronica remained friends until a certain night. It was Logan and Lilly's sixth year anniversary, Lilly forgot. Instead, she went out and partied. Logan was heartbroken that she had forgotten their anniversary. He decided that he needed a friend, so he drove all the way to Veronica's house. At first it was just a hug, then a kiss, then they did the deed. Let's just say, Logan and Veronica kept seeing each other more after that. A couple of weeks before Logan and Lilly's big fight, Lilly found out about the affair. The rest is history.
Lilly took a swig of whiskey as she watched them walk down the aisle, hand in hand. She wanted to vomit.
Two years after Logan and Veronica's wedding, Lilly moved back into her empty house. The house that she and Logan once shared. She put furniture and all her worthless belongings in the house. She was still alone.
A 31-year-old Lilly Kane shuffled her feet as she walked to the kitchen, then on the coffee table, a magazine caught her eye. She slowly walked over and picked it up to read it. On the cover was a picture of Logan's new book, titled "Den". She knew that the bookwas about Logan and Veronica's new born baby boy, Aiden Benjamin Echolls. Logan and Veronica called him "Den" for short. Duncan had told Lilly this information. Logan told Duncan to tell Lilly that she could see his son. Lilly declined and told Duncan to tell Logan to go to hell. Lilly was apparently drunk, once again.
Lilly laughed to herself as she threw the magazine on the table. As she walked to the kitchen she saw her lighter poking out of her purse. In addition to drinking, she started smoking.
She clutched the small, black lighter tightly in the palm of her hand. She walked over to where she placed the magazine, and picked it up. She then went outside. She opened her grill, and threw the magazine inside. She slowly took the lighter and lit the magazine on fire. She watched the magazine slowly burn. That's how she was feeling. She was burning, ready to explode with anger, jealousy, hate, frustration, and depression. Strangely, she liked the sight of the fire. She liked seeing something, besides her life, slowly burn. She went into the house and snatched a couple of pictures of her and Logan. She threw them into her fire of doom. She slowly watched as every picture burned in the red, hot flame. The pictures were of her and Logan on their wedding day, of them having fun, and of the "fab four". She liked seeing the pictures burn, but at the same time, she slowly regreted burning the memories. She knew she shouldn't care, but she did.
A 33-year-old Lilly Kane was making her weekly trip to the bookstore. She had started reading a lot more lately. She bought a new book every week, and a couple of magazines. As Lilly walked down the street to the bookstore, she saw a sign in the front. It said that the famous and respected author, Logan Echolls, was having a book signing for his new book "Strange", that day from 12:00 to 3:00. She looked at her watch nervously, it was 2:20.
"Fuck," she muttered to herself. As she contemplated whether to go in the store or not, she saw him through the slightly tinted window. She decided to go inside. She saw him there, happily signing books that his adoring fans gushed over.
She also saw a very pregnant Veronica and their 2-year-old son, Aiden, sitting next to him. After a few moments of staring, she decided to buy his new book.
As she walked out of the store, she took a final glance at Logan and Veronica. They seemed so happy. She knew that she should have been the one in Veronica's place. She should have been the happy, pregnant wife staring lovingly at her husband as he took a break from signing books and played with his son. That should have been her, but she had to mess things up.
She stopped partying a year ago, and she slowly started to stop drinking. Her love life, however, wasn't so successful. Some days she wished that she wasn't such a bitch to Logan. She realized that she truly loved him.
"I love you, Logan. I realize that now!" Lilly said. A few days after seeing him in the bookstore, she called Duncan for Logan's number. Once she got the number, she called Logan and asked him if they could grab some coffee and talk. Logan, hesitantly, accepted.
"Lilly, after six years of no contact what so ever, you invite me for coffee to tell me that you love me now?" Logan asked in disbelief.
"Yes, I should have known earlier. I'm a changed woman, Logan. You have to see that. I knows it's been a long time, but I sincerely love you now." she said earnestly.
"Lilly, I'm married. I have a career, I have a life, I'm a father, and you want me to leave everything for you? The same woman who broke my heart so many times in my life. The same woman who took our marriage for granted, and told me to fuck off. I'm sorry Lilly, but I can't." Logan said as he got up to leave.
"Logan, please." Lilly said pleadingly as he was about to walk out.
Logan stopped and said, "I can't go through anymore pain, Lilly. I love you, but I don't want to be with you. Good-bye". With that, he walked out of the cafe, leaving Lilly behind.
"I hate everything!" Lilly screamed as she lit her couch on fire. The other day, she just opened her heart to her former love, to have it ripped to pieces. She was now drunk as hell, and was lighting everything in her path on fire.
"I ruined everything!" she shouted as she lit the railing on the stairs on fire.
"I don't have anyone!" she cried as she made her way to her bedroom.
"I don't deserve to live! I don't want to live!" she yelled as she lit her bed on fire.
"Nobody wants me! I'm a bitch and a whore, I deserve to die alone!" she sobbed as she fell to her knees. The smoke and fire had started to engulf the house.
She slowly crawled inside her walk in closet, and she started to cry violently. There, she passed out from the alcohol and the smoke. There, she died in the fire. There, she rests forever.
"Daddy, can you tuck me in pweeze?" a light brown haired 4-year-old girl said.
"Sure, Nat, I'll be there in a second." a 37-year-old Logan Echolls said as he typed on his computer.
"Okay, daddy." the little girl said sweetly as she skipped to her bedroom. It's been 5 years since Lilly's tragic death. Natalie Lorraine Echolls was born a couple months after she died. Logan didn't know whether to cry or not when he found out about her death. He felt that it was his fault. He never told Veronica that he saw Lilly the day before she lit her home on fire, killing herself inside. A home where they once lived and loved each other. A home where they planned to have a family in. A home where they planned to grow old in. A home that was now a pile of ashes.
"You okay?" Veronica asked gently as she entered his office. Logan Echolls, was now writing the ending to his sixth book.
"Yeah, Ronnie, I'm fine." he said as he swiftly typed.
Veronica laughed and said, "When will you stop calling me, Ronnie?"
"Why should I stop? You seem to like the name when we're making sweet love." he said smiling.
"Ha, and you like it when I call your little friend "Oh Great One"." she said laughing.
"Who you calling little?" he asked in mock defense.
Veronica smiled and walked over to where he was. "So are you done, yet? Our children and I need your attention." she said as she sat on his lap.
"Almost, just need to type one more thing. Where's Den?" he asked kissing her neck.
"I let him watch a little TV before he goes to sleep." she answered.
"You know tomorrow we have to tell them?" he said.
"Yeah, I know. I can't believe we're going to have another baby." she said smiling.
"You already blessed me with Aiden and Natalie. Now you're giving me another child to love. How did I get so lucky?" he asked as he looked deep into her beautiful, blue eyes.
"Actually, the real question is, how did we both get so lucky?" she asked pulling him into a deep kiss.
"Ew... mommy and daddy are kissing!" a 7-year-old Aiden said as he put his hands in front his blue eyes to shield the scene.
"I'll go tuck him in, then after we can go and play." Veronica whispered huskily into Logan's ear, before kissing him hastily on the cheek.
"Yes, ma'am." he said smiling.
"Come on Aiden." she said as she hopped off of Logan's lap and extended her hand out.
"Wait mommy, let me say goodnight to daddy." he said as he walked over to Logan.
"Goodnight daddy." Aiden said as he hugged him tightly.
"Goodnight Den." he said as hugged Aiden tighter.
Once they let go of each other, Aiden said excitedly, "Daddy, don't forget to come to my soccer game, tomorrow. You promised!"
"Don't worry, I wouldn't miss it for the world." Logan said.
"Thanks daddy." he said kissing his dad on the cheek.
"Okay, now go to sleep. Tomorrow's going to be a big day." Logan said as he ruffled Aiden's dirty blonde hair.
"Okay, daddy." Aiden said as he and Veronica walked hand in hand to his bedroom to be tucked in.
Logan sighed as he started finishing his sixth book. He's been working hard on this book for almost two years. Veronica didn't know yet, but this book was about Lilly. This was his way of coping with Lilly and her death. This is how he ends his life with her.
"Logan?" Veronica asked, bringing Logan back from his deep thoughts.
"Yeah, honey?" he asked smiling.
"Sweetie, come on. Nat's waiting for you." Veronica said as she walked over to him.
"Yeah, I just finished." he said smiling triumphantly.
"You're done? You mean, with everything?" she asked excitedly as she smiled.
"Yeah, we're done." he whispered softly.
"Logan, I'm so proud of you!" Veronica exclaimed as she hugged him tightly. "I think this calls for a celebration!" she said smiling.
"Does that come with a big reward?" he asked.
"Oh, you don't know how big." she said seductively. "So what's the book about, what's the title? You've barely said anything about this book." she said pleadingly.
"Well, I'll let you read it soon, but I've got the title and summary right here." he said handing her the paper that he needed to give to his publisher, Dan.
Veronica slowly read the words written on the paper, and frowned a little. "Is this closure for you?" she asked.
"Yeah, it is." he said smiling. Veronica weakly smiled back, and kissed her husband lightly.
"Come, let's go tuck in Nat, and get my reward." he said getting up from his chair.
"Geez, I'm pregnant for god's sakes! Why don't you tuck in Nat, and I'll meet you there?" she asked.
He looked at Veronica curiously before he said, "Okay". He kissed the top of her head before walking down the hall to his daughter's bedroom to tuck her in.
Veronica watched him before he disappeared into the room. She sighed heavily as she looked at the words written on the piece of paper again. Who knew that these words meant so much to her. Who knew that the book Logan had written wasn't just closure for him, but also for her. Lilly was her best friend. Lilly was someone she loved, too. She cried for months after she found out that her best friend had died. Even though Lilly called Veronica her "ex-best friend", Veronica still called Lilly her best friend. She thought the way Lilly died wasn't fair. She sometimes regrets falling in love with Logan, and taking him away from Lilly. She regrets everyday, though, that she wasn't there for Lilly the last few years of her life. She thinks that she won't be able to forgive herself for that. She knows she'll always have Lilly in her heart.
"He named the book "Saint Lilly", the book is about her." she whispered as a tear slid down her cheek. She honestly didn't know if the tears were for Lilly or herself. She knew that Logan would never stop loving Lilly, just like should would never, also. They both owed her this, and she knew that deep inside her heart. No matter how much it hurt.
"Saint Lilly", how ironic." she said quietly to herself as she put the paper on his desk, and started to walk out of the office. She took one final look at the room, before turning off the lights. She smiled as she walked to her daughter's room, she knew that Lilly had given her this. She had let Veronica have this life. Veronica, then, at that moment knew that the tears weren't for her, they were for Lilly. Saint Lilly.
Author's Notes: I've been working really hard on this story for a while, so I hope everyone likes it. Oh, the irony of Saint Lilly! Please Read and Review.
Ally