There You'll Be
Chapter 10 - Back Home

Disclaimer - I do not own the O.C or the song Back Home by Yellowcard. All of the places are fictional because I have never been to San Francisco.

Don't know what I was looking for when I went home,
I found me alone
And sometimes I need someone to say, "
You'll be all right. What's on your mind?"
But the water's shallow here and I am full of fear
and empty handed after two long years

Ryan let Marissa lead him through the tangled maze on people crowded in the streets. Hr was puzzled but assumed that Marissa was in control of the situation. A few minutes later Ryan found himself on a quieter streetcorner and Marissa turned and smiled at him forgetting for a moment all that had happened between them. Ryan tried not to let the moment carry him away because it would only be more painful when things returned to normal once more. It was like he and Marissa were living their lives on the fine line between reality and fiction at this moment.

Another sunny day in Californ-i-a
I'm sure back home they'd love to see it
But they don't know that what you love is ripped away
Before you get a chance to feel it

The beach was beautiful; the waves lapped over the warm sand and the sun dazzled the sea. It was Marissa's favourite place to go in the city for two reasons. One was it's breath taking beauty and the fact that you could so easily escape from the busy city but the main reason was how much it reminded her of Newport. Ryan saw this too and felt a rush of an almost alien emotion which threatened to overcome him. For a moment he couldn't look at Marissa, things were just too complicated now.

Back home I always thought I wanted so much more, now I'm not too sure
Cause sometimes I miss knowing someone's there for me and feeling free
Free to stand beside the ocean in moonlight
And light myself a smoke beneath the dark Atlantic sky

"I love this place." Marissa said when she was able to trust herself to speak. Her voice was carried off by the wind by Ryan heard her and agreed.
"It reminds me of home." She continued folding her arms close around her body. Ryan fought against the urge to wrap her arms around Marissa. He knew it would not help matters and would probably make them worse.
"You could come back you know?" Ryan said quietly, almost testing his words as he said them.
"My mother hates me for lying to her and leaving and I can only imagine what people have been saying about me."
Ryan didn't know how to reply as most of what Marissa had said was true and he couldn't deny her of the truth. He knew that by now.

"Summer and Seth want you to come home, Summer's missed you so much."

Marissa turned to face him. "Yeah."

Ryan nodded. "Yeah." He paused, turning slightly to the side to face the sea. "And me."

Another sunny day in Californ-i-a
I'm sure back home they'd love to see it
But they don't know that what you love is ripped away
Before you get a chance, before you get a chance to feel it
Everybody here is living life in fear of falling out of line
Tearing lives apart and breaking lots of hearts just to pass the time
And the eyes get red in the back of your head, this place will make you blind
Put it all behind me and I'll be just fine

Marissa smiled wistfully and forced back her tears as they formed. It meant so much just to hear those words. It made her long to be back in Newport not this place that she had adopted as her home. She had no memories here.

"I can't go back though Ryan." She said letting her gaze follow his out to sea. "Not now."

Ryan looked hurt, and she felt guilty. "Why not?"

She didn't have the answer. "I need to start over."

Ryan looked at her. "I understand that, but surely not here,not alone."

Marissa met his eyes. "I can't hurt anybody else this way."

Ryan said nothing but the look in his eyes said it all. Yes you can. He locked eyes with Marissa and began to walk away.

"Where are you going?" To anyone who didn't know her the change in her voice was unnoticable but Ryan knew it well, it was caused by panic.

"Back." He said simply, stopping.

"Oh." She replied. "Good luck." She said although it felt inadequate.

"What about you?" Ryan asked. Marissa shrugged.

Feeling a little bit impatient Ryan began to walk away from her again.

"Ryan!" She shouted, running towards him, clearly upset.

"Yes?" He asked.

"You know what you said about starting over?"

He nodded.

"Well can't we start over here, together?" She asked.

Another sunny day beneath this cloudless sky
Sometimes I wish that it would rain here
And wash away the west coast dreaming from my eyes
There's nothing real for them to see here

Ryan and Marissa walked the length of the beach together, Ryan was deep in thought. There wasn't really anything that he'd really miss from Newport. Marissa had been the best part of his life there but he thought about the Cohens and Seth and Summer. He couldn't just walk away from them after all they had done. He wished he could make Marissa see how much easier things would be if she came back with him. From the looks of things her life he didn't seem to be going brilliantly and she looked like she needed her friends around her.

"I don't know." Ryan said after some silence. "I don't know what to say."

Marissa nodded, she knew she couldn't ask him to give up everything for her which was part of the reason why she moved her after all.

"I love you." He paused, searching for Marissa reaction but she was looking at the ground. "But it wouldn't work here. I'm sorry."

Another starry night in Californ-i-a
I'm sure back home they'd love to see it
But they don't know that what you love is ripped away
Before you get a chance, before you get a chance to feel it

Sorry I haven't updated this fan fic for a little while! But here you go another chapter! Hope you enjoy it, more to come soon but I've got exams coming up! Thanks for all you reviews especially on And Then There's You!

Please R&R 'cause I'd like to know what you think and any ideas you might have.

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