Oh, I forgot to mention, I don't own Inuyasha, Romiko- sensei does. YOU know what's a funny word? Glomp. Whenever I hear that word I think of a huge chunk of jello falling on top of some hapless bishie.

"What, doesn't he speak English?" Sam asked.

"I guess not. He's the incarnation of a picture from the television. If it spoke Japanese, logically, he should, too."

"Do you have any ramen?" Kiki called from the kitchen.

"How can you think of food at a time like this? We've done something seriously wrong here!"

"It's not for her, it's for him," Molly explained. "Maybe it'll keep him occupied until we figure out what we're gonna do."

"Oh."

"There's ramen above the microwave. Get a chair, don't climb onto the counter."

"Does anyone we know speak Japanese?"

"I can't find- oh, wait, here it is." Kiki was making loud noises in the kitchen. Molly tried not to wince. "Chicken or beef?" She asked.

"He can't understand you, Kiki."

"I know." She held out two packages to the hanyou, one in each hand. As she tried to explain to him that he could only pick one, Molly and Sam went back to talking.

"I don't think we know any one, except maybe people online."

"I know a few words."

"Like what?"

"Um… seven… demon, ogre, half- demon, human, circle…"

"Anything that isn't a noun?"

Sam grinned.

"Osuwari."

Kiki laughed as Inuyasha jumped, then glared at Sam.

"Well, duh, everybody knows that one."

"Well, maybe if we got someone else from the show… who would speak English and Japanese?"

"I don't think anyone."

"Well, what if we got two of someone?" Kiki asked, showing a momentary flash of brilliance. "Like Kikyo, or something. Maybe they cold understand each other?"

"I think our main concern right now is maybe putting him back, not getting more."

"By the way, Sam asked, looking around. "Where'd he go?"

"He watching the ramen go around in the microwave."

"Don't microwaves give you cancer or something?"

"Ah, he's a hanyou, he can deal with it." Sam was looking through the kitchen door at the transfixed boy. "Something's weird here, though. This whole situation reeks of fanfiction."

"No way." Molly counted off on her fingers. "We're not speaking l337 or chat script. There's no ungodly long breaks in the story while descriptions of clothes are given. We don't speak Japanese words at random. There's no obvious romantic preference. And, finally, none of us have any power over him that would allow us to glomp him at will."

"You're right, definitely not a fanfiction," Kiki echoed.

"Too bad about that last one, though," Sam added, evoking strange looks from her friends. "What? I'm just kidding! Still, I really think it might be-"

The microwave beeped loudly. Inuyasha, who was about an inch from the high-pitched sound, jumped back, holding onto his ears. Kiki disappeared into the kitchen.

"Oh, and none of us have rubbed those things."

"Yup, definitely not a fanfiction."

"Anyway, who should we get to help us?"

"Sango, probably. She seems like the most level- headed," Molly advised.

"No way. She and Inuyasha have said like three things to each other in the whole series."

"Miroku?"

"He'd be too busy trying to get us to bear his children to notice we have a problem."

"Kikyo?"

"She's be completely passive about it. The two of her would go off and angst about being dead and how Inuyasha doesn't love her anymore."

"… Shippo?

"They'd just fight."

"What-"

"Ditto for Koga. Come on, Kagome's the only one who'll work here. Admit it and let's get to work!"

"Fine," Molly grumbled. "Let's get this over with."

Kiki poured the steaming noodles out of the measuring cup and into a bowl. Inuyasha was watching her. She couldn't understand his words, but she could read his look.

I can do it myself, you know.>

"You remind me of my little brother," She told him. "Only you're taller than me."

The look changed.

I don't understand you.>

Oh wait, it's Inuyasha, so more like,

What the hell are you talking about?>

"Ramen, a la Kiki!" she announced, handing over the plastic bowl.

"Arigato," he mumbled.

"Ooh! I understood that! Arigato is thanks." She stopped. "Have you ever said that to anyone? I don't think you even tell Kagome thanks."

Blank stare.

"I don't know many words, but I have to watch subs a lot, they come out sooner than dubs, you know, so I know some words."

Continuation of the stare.

"I know, um, youkai, ningen, nin, arigato, connichiwa-"

You're talking nonsense, girl.>

"I should shut up, huh?" Kiki looked sad for a second. "Yeah, I get that a lot."

Kiki sat down on one of the kitchen chairs, facing the same way as Inuyasha.

There was actual silence for a few seconds.

"My name's Kiki, by the way."

"Kikibai."

"Yeah, that works, too. I know you already. You're Inuyasha the hanyou."

Inuyasha focused on the rapidly disappearing noodles.

"Don't worry, none of us cares if you're not a youkai. We love you anyway. Oh, yeah. I know that, too. Love is ai. Like shounen ai."

Inuyasha gave her a funny look.

"Hey!" someone called from upstairs. "Is Kagome down there?"

"Kagome?" Inuyasha knew that word, even if the pronunciation was way off.

"I don't think so!" Kiki called back.

Since Inuyasha had appeared in the living room, Kagome should be there, too, right?

For some reason the door was shut again, and Kiki went to open it… just as it was opened from the other side. It hit Kiki right on the head, and she fell backwards.

"Gomen!" A voice cried. A rather familiar voice. Kiki opened her eyes… and looked right into her own face.

The two of them screamed together.

Across the pacific ocean, a pair of eyes snapped open.

Something is very wrong… >

This chapter dedicated to whoever reviews.