Ashes Fallen
By: Dark Draconain
Rated: PG
Feedback: Please.
Disclaimer: I own Nothing! Lyricalepigraphfrom "God Called in Sick Today" by AFI
Summery: Pre-Day3 JackxKate Dried leaves fall from autumn trees, just as death falls back to earth.
Author's Note: Hooray for shoddy cliché dialogue! Er...yeah. Another oldie (written in March of 2004).
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Ashes Fallen
Go ascend with ivy, climbing. Ignore and leave for me the headstone crumbling behind.
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The door slammed shut in his face, and he stared unmoving at its lifeless wooden panels. "I'm sorry," he whispered hoarsely under his breath, choking on the condemnation the empty words evoked. Holding back a myriad of bitter emotions, he turned and deliberately began walking down the cold concrete stairs, listening vacantly to the hollow echo of his footsteps.
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Throughout the long years of his life, Jack Bauer had made a point of never cowering away from he felt was right. He'd lost friends and jobs and lovers over his steadfast principals, yet to those beliefs he remained unfalteringly true—even in his darkest hours. This time was no different. He would do what had to be done, no matter what the cost. He had to, because that was all that was left to define him.
In the years following the nuclear bomb threat and his subsequent return to a conscious state of living, Jack had grown accustomed to Kate Warner's company: and her attentions. He would frequently remind himself that he didn't have any true feelings for her. That he was just enjoying the company of a beautiful woman, relishing her affections. He would tell himself that he could never love anyone the way he had loved Teri. Somehow though, in his broken and tormented heart, Jack knew that wasn't entirely true. His feelings for Kate ran as deep as his withered veins would allow emotions to pass. It was that singular and painfully realized truth that made his impending actions so much more gut-wrenching: and utterly imperative.
Standing on her porch, frozen in front of her door, Jack watched as dried leaves fell from trees and fluttered delicately back to earth like weary paper angels. A bitter half-chuckle passed his lips as he reached for the knocker.
When Kate opened the door it was like a rush of spring hit the crisp autumn air. In that moment of unrivaled beauty a cold terror seized Jack's heart and he once again considered abandoning his plan. But he looked at her face, the way it radiated such warmth, and he knew she deserved better. Better than he had to offer. Better than a drug-soaked shadow of deceitful imperfection. He was on the verge of sacrificing his soul for a cover, and she deserved better. He knew what he had to do for this operation to succeed—what he had already done—and he wouldn't drag her down with him.
No, he would do this.
"Jack!"
"Hi," he said quietly, wrenching his attention back to her.
"Come in, come in," Kate said smiling, shivering at the cold. She paused, searching his expression, her face darkening as she caught the glint of steely pain in his eyes. She had seen it before, he knew, when he would sit alone and remember Teri. When he would silently curse himself for never being good enough, for never doing enough. His hands were drenched in blood and stained with the consistency of failure.
"What is it?" Kate asked, gently laying her hand on Jack's arm to guide him inside.
He stepped into the foyer and let her shut the door behind him, taking the time to shove his trembling hands back into his coat pockets. "We need to talk," he said blankly.
Jack could see the lovely creases by her eyes deepen as she furrowed her delicate brow and tightened her jaw. A stray lock of vibrant blond hair dangled out of place in front of her face, and he yearned to tuck it back behind her ear. But those times were about to end forever, cast aside like a disposable razor-blade.
"Kate," his voice sounded strained, and he damned himself for it.
She stepped forwards, closer to him, and he stepped back, pulling further away. "It's over. I'm sorry."
Kate reeled back in shock, her sparkling blue eyes wide. "What?" she asked, visibly trying to convince herself she'd misinterpreted his stark words.
"It's not going to work—between us—we can't—it's...over," Jack's voice stuck in his throat as he stumbled over crude sounds, desperately trying to force them into articulate speech.
"Jack I...I don't understand. Talk to me, please. Tell me, explain it to me. Please," she begged, unshed teardrops glittering against her desperately searching eyes.
But he gave her nothing. Nothing but cold words that wouldn't offer any comfort. "I can't."
He watched her face fall, the colour draining away and leaving a mask of hurt anger in its wake; his heart shattered once more, torn by the pain he himself had caused.
"So that's it then? It's over? Just like that?"
"Kate..." he said softly, "I—it's for the best. Trust me."
"You should go," she said in a softly commanding tone, tears falling from her eyes like crystal shards, glimmering in agony.
Jack took one last look at her; at the life he'd walked into and crushed. Like a delicate flower seduced by the dying days of summer then betrayed by winter's frost. Kate would never know why he was ending their relationship. She would never know how much it pained him to do this. How much he wanted wrap his arms around her and tell her that it was okay, that he'd make it all better. But he couldn't. He opened his mouth, unable to simply walk out the door, and was left clinging to a small sliver of resolve, gasping for air.
"I love you," he said in desperation, his velvety voice grating against his ears.
"Then why?"
Jack didn't answer. He couldn't. There was nothing he could say or do. It was over; he had killed it.
"You should go," she repeated simply, her voice oddly devoid of emotion.
Jack numbly obeyed; the hurt searing behind Kate's eyes forever burned into his mind.
The door slammed shut in his face, and he stared unmoving at its lifeless wooden panels. "I'm sorry," he whispered hoarsely under his breath, choking on the condemnation the empty words evoked. Holding back a myriad of bitter emotions, he turned and deliberately began walking down the cold concrete stairs, listening vacantly to the hollow echo of his footsteps.
It's for the best, he told himself again. But that didn't stop the tearing pain from ripping apart what little remained of his being and splattering it in a rain of blood-soaked ashes.
Dried leaves fell from autumn trees, just as death fell back to earth.
fin