--
I hate this. I hate it all. These feelings I keep having… I'm stressed at my friends. The two people I have actually come to trust. I love them dearly… but sometimes I just wish they would go away. Just wish they would leave me alone… it's stupid I know but it gets harder to cut if they are around me twenty four seven… God I am such a bitch! I hate myself for these feelings… maybe instead of feeling sorry for myself all the time, maybe I should feel sorry for them, for having such a bad friend…I should stay alone… I have got to let them go.
--
Lavender wanted desperately to know who was writing these. It was gone midnight. All she knew was it was a male wizard at Hogwarts with muggle relatives and two best friends who he may or may not have. It could be a lot of people. It could have been anyone...
--
Here's my tale. A new tale from this summer. This time it's about the freak and the women. You see my aunt found out about my uncle raping me… now you would think she would want to help me… she being the one who is related truly by blood, but alas no she decided to chain me onto the double bed in her and her husbands room. She chained me by my hands and ankles and fucked me… it would appear neither my aunt nor uncle get much pleasure from each other. I think they like the feeling of power… they both have power over me as I will not fight. I thought it was bad with my uncle but my aunt is way worse… I learnt to give my own aunt pleasure. A knife in her hand cutting me as a reward or maybe a punishment. I can't be sure of which. Sometimes she would cut me before sometimes after. I truly am a whore. Maybe I should be paid?
--
Lavender was growing desperate. She now had formed a list of people who could have written these notes in her head and slowly she was ticking them down. She was getting close to discovering the boy or as he said man who was going through the same kind of pain she was.
--Flashback--
Lavender looked down at her sister lying blooded on the floor her father standing over her. A normal occurrence in the brown family. Lavender cried out as she heard her fathers zip. He turned to her, his member hanging out, she knew she would pay for calling out. She always did, but she would never leave her sister to go through the pain.
Her sister crawled into the corner and wept. She knew Lavender did this to keep her out of pain, but it also pained her to watch her sister being raped by their own father. She watched her father slide into Lavender. Lavender didn't scream but her sister saw the tears fall down her face.
--
Lavender and her sister climbed the stairs and once they got to Lavenders room they hugged and never let go. Lavender hugged her sister tightly and kissed her sister's forehead. She loved her sister and would never let any harm come to her if she was around, but she knew she wouldn't always be around. Especially when she was at Hogwarts. Lavender clung to the guilt within her heart.
-- End Flashback --
Lavender wiped away her tears. She couldn't let her past interfere with finding the mystery male writer.
--
I don't know why I don't use my wand against them. I could... then again I think I'm on my final warning therefore I would probably be kicked out. Then I would have to go to a muggle school. Saint Brutises school for boys. It's a school for boys like me ones that aren't normal. They're full of boys who need to learn to be normal not bullies or weird freaks of nature like me. They go in bad and come out better people. Some days I wish that I could go. My uncle would like that. There are fewer holidays which is good. I never went home during the Hogwarts holidays except of course the summer where my uncle could do anything for about six weeks and leave me two weeks to heal even though I can heal within two days. I would have to come back for Christmas though if I went to St Brutises. I never have since I've been at Hogwarts. Never wanted to. Why would I? I could use my wandless magic on my uncle for that is not traceable. I've been using wandless for a couple of years now but I have yet to use it on my uncle. I don't though; I'm a freak and I deserve what I get. Most people would probably think this whole thing a lie. I mean who is powerful enough to do wandless? And then not even use it as a defence? Believe what you like. It is true. The pain within me. I can control it. I love it. It helps me. It will until I die. That day when I am happy. That day when I take my final breathe. I will not die like I have been told. I will not die by the hands or possibly wand of another. He may have marked me with a scar but he will never kill me. He does not deserve to. I will die by my own hands and the knife that is held in it.
--
She knew from this that they had to be powerful. Anyone who could do wandless would be powerful. She looked through it. 'I will not die like I have been told. I will not die by the hands or possibly wand of another.' Someone who was supposed to die from the wand of another. She mused. It hit her like a bolt of lightning. She ran. Down the stairs and into the common room. There he was. The boy she had thought about ever so much. The one who had written these accounts. It had to be him. He may have marked me with a scar! That had done it for her. Harry Potter had to be the one writing these.
A/n I had to get this out, I have things planned for Lavender.... -smiles mysteriously-
Thank you my reviewers!!
Grimy Grunhilda Grunt- Glad to make you happy! :D
DemonRogue13- Thank you! :D
HPandSBbabe- It's sooner! I actually have several chapters written but those will have to wait for another day :D
Depressed Gothic Raven- Thank you! :D
Abbie - Thank you! :D
Gryffindorgrl86- I'm Glad you like it! :D
grin - I don't like Snape all that much but sometimes I make exceptions. No Draco here either -sniffle- scorry... And yay!! I made it less confusing!! :D GO ME!!
Starrarose- Teehee Yup, we should deff go off to kill Ol' Dumbledork!
InsaneBlackHeart- Argh Scary questions!! To be honest I hadn't really thought about those things buuuut now you mention them I am adding where the cloak and marauders map into later chapter! Thanks for pointing those out to me :D And by the way I'm sure you are a psycho!! ; )XP Teehee. Oh yesh scorry about Sirius not being in it as well... he's one of my fav characters too! It just kinda fits... not sure what I'm doing with 'Mione yet... she may see the error of her ways, or she may not, we'll see...
kava - Your questions will be answered when you read! :D