Note: as usual, I don't own a single thing in this fic, the characters and setting belongs to the great JRR Tolkein and the verses belong to the 1970's band, Bread.
NB: 'thoughts'
"spoken words"
Save This Dance
The Great Hall in the citadel of Ithilien was brightly lit with a hundred candles, lending it a soft light, transforming the room into a box made of gold.
All around the room, couples danced on the central dance floor so blithe and carefree, managing to portray it even within the strict confines of the dance steps. And they should be, for it was not every day that such a happy occasion came to light, to be celebrated in such a manner, that allowed them such freedom that would still remain seemly.
For it was an event of love, the union of two people in love, an ascension of someone beloved to a position to lead.
It was the dual celebration of the ascension to the princedom of Ithillien by Faramir, the Lord Steward of the White City, and his union to Eowyn of Rohan, the White Shieldmaiden.
But all around the couple was not all as empty headed joy; as one guest in particular stood aside with characteristic aloofness, as he pondered this revelation to sweep the newly reunited land.
I'll never forget that look in your eyes,
The first time I held you and when I realised,
A certain elf stood tall and proud as his people were inclined to do, but behind that façade, his mind and his heart were wholly fixated upon the blushing starry eyed lady across the room, watching, always watching with a peculiar kind of protectiveness.
Yet only seen by those who knew him best, a sense of melancholy, a type of longing for something that he never knew existed, only revealing itself long after the object of longing had long gone, never to return. Yet the longing was still there, waiting, never sated, forever burning just below the surface.
Something so special is growing inside,
A feeling so deep it's not easy to hide.
The feeling of being struck to the core, when he first laid his eyes on her, that day as he and his companions rode into Edoras and as he saw her, standing like a mythic goddess before the doors. The feeling only intensified the first time he touched her as he restrained her from rushing to the side of her stricken uncle. But it was obvious that she did not feel the same; therefore, he had left things as they were.
In the aftermath of his best friends supposed death, he thought it a mixed blessing and curse, as she sought him out, those agonising nights following Aragorn's plunge into the river; to ask him of their adventures together, and to share in their grief.
That was when he realised he had come to love her deeply. It was in those terrible days and nights when she thought all had been torn from her, so she confided in grief to him during their long midnight conversations. Both her cousin and the one she loved dead, her brother missing and in danger, and her uncle coordinating a battle that had the overtones of doom. And in spite of that she had to do her best , day to day, to keep the spirits of her people up when it was so full of grief of things done and the days to come.
She spoke uninhibitedly of her fears, and her sense of loss, and he tried to comfort her as best as he could, telling her swashbuckling stories of his adventures and stories of his days of idyll. His aim, each time they talked to bring a smile to her face, the smile he valued above anything else in the earth. That was given so freely now but was beyond his reach.
We talked of forever and how we would wait,
'Those bittersweet nights, standing on the battlements of Helm's Deep or later on the balconies of Edoras were the saddest times for you, but to me, they were bittersweet and perhaps held the best memories in all the centuries my life.
Those times we shared what was in our hearts, and how we swore we would wait for the right person to come, for the one person we were destined for. Our soulmates. You thought you would be the one to have to wait forever for the one that you loved, but you found your soulmate in the end, even if it was not whom you would have imagined at first. It was I that made light of it at the time and I am now the one to wait for forever for the one I love. How ironic life can be that you found your soulmate just as I found mine in you.'
But the band started playing
The musicians started up a slow plaintive melody, startling him out of his reflections as all around him couples paired up for the dance, romance filling the air like perfume. Hardly listening to the music around him, and slipping deeper into his reminiscence, he thought back to the last stand that he and his comrades had made at the very gate of their enemy. It was during that last stand that she had found love and her lord. At a time when everyone else were facing their worst fears as she had already faced hers, and found her reward, her happy ending.
Now I'm too late,
He almost wished he had been there, and the one she had begun to love was him. He almost wished a wound on himself at that time, and left his best friend's side to be with her. Maybe things would have been different. But would they have necessarily have been for the better? If she had not met her lord, who was to say that she would have loved him? She may have been forever pining after Aragorn. A fate worse than death, or so the sages say, a fate of unrequited love; a fate he was now condemned to.
But it was done, the dice was cast and his lot was thrown, for friendship, not love, and it was a kind of bonus that the one he cared for so deeply was now happy. But all that had come of it was happiness for all who knew him. But what about him? There was bliss for all but him. After all he had been through, where was his happy ending? That was one question no one had the answer to.
Won't you,
Save this dance for me,
And I will lead for you,
Walking up to his love, as she stood with her new husband, he made a graceful bow before them. Straightening, he looked at her full in the eye and spoke softly, "My lady of Ithilien, would you do me the honour of this dance?"
God has given me one more chance,
Before my life is through,
He sensed a slight hesitation as she opened her mouth to reply, but he gracefully cut in,
"My apologies, I see this is a lover's dance. But if I may be so bold as to admit, my lady, I beg you to save your dearthair mor a dance. He is very much moved by your happiness but at the same time saddened at your departure."
He sensed from her again a slight hesitation and perhaps a little hurt at his formal tone but sensed her shove it down, perhaps to ask him about later.
"Withought question my lord. I would never forget him as I can never forget all he has done for me. However consumed I may seem in all that is around me, he is always in my thoughts." She replied.
"As you are in his"
And in your arms when the music stops,
Is where I wanna be,
So tell him no and save this dance for me.
Returning to his hidden corner of the ballroom, a nook hidden in shadow, he slipped once more into his pain filled musings and bittersweet reflections.
No one's been able to hurt me before,
'Why is it you that takes my breath away? I have seen many more beautiful, and yes none of them are half as arresting as you. Is it because you are so unlike other maidens? It is like there are two people in that seemingly fragile body, one strong and willing to protect the ones you care about, even to the death, another gentle, nurturing and loving.'
He risked a glance to where she danced slowly on the spot, wrapped lovingly in the arms of her lord. It was obvious how happy and fulfilled they were in both their lives and each other. They were the perfect golden couple.
And I'll never love like this anymore,
'Is this what that binds us together? A shared experience of a love forsaken that we can never have? Maybe it is. My unknown love, I leave you to your happiness, and your new life. I will not begrudge you anything at all, least of all your happiness. Even though you are consumed for love by another, here I will stand, in love of you, always watching over you, seeing you smile; and my heart smiles in return, even if those smiles are for another.
It is for you I will wait, even if it is forever. You see me only as a brother, and it will be as a brother I shall love you, even if my heart cries out to truly love you. You have my heart, always and for all time, whether it be as a friend or as something more. All that I have I will accept, and I swear I will always be there for you, somewhere. I may not be the first person you may call for assistance in your life, nor will I be the only one, but I tell you this, even if you cannot hear, that I will always be the most sincere, the one most concerned with you and your happiness, for I will give everything up to see you as happy as you are this night. Even if it demands I leave you unknowing for all time.
'"Elleth " was what I jokingly called you; a little one, so fragile and sweet, like the elleth of my race. But it was only the surface, behind that, a woman, so strong and independent, your words, deeds, equal to the greatest in the land, man or woman. I called you my little one, my little sister, but you proved you are a woman, Tinuviel herself reborn, standing tall and proud.
So much a woman, but I call you girl,
I lost everything in a smile, a smile filled with the light of true love, one which I have longed for so long to see on your face. It had finally come to light on your face, but not to me, to another, but one who loves you no less than I .With that one smile I was doomed, doomed to an eternity incomplete, always waiting, outside of a golden circle of two. For that I am happy, so incredibly happy for you. But somewhere, deep in the depths of my soul, something has died, died with that smile.
I didn't mean to doubt you, but still but still I could lose,
For as long as I have lived, as long as I will continue to live, there can be no greater pain than this, a love unrequited, unacknowledged. For when I was with you, and only with you that I could be completely honest with myself. Was it because you did not know me of old, and therefore had no designs, no expectations? With you I did not have to hide my fears, my imperfections, and could finally let the façade crumble. Everything I saw, even in the midst of war seemed so beautiful, everything seemed to just fall into place when I was with you. My best friend and the one love I can never have.
And I cant live withought you,
So please wont you choose.
Your choice of companion came so easily to you. You did not know, nor did you see what lay behind the sympathetic blur eyes; you did not find the love. Instead you saw only a brother; never someone who would love you for eternity, someone whom would fight and die for you. You will never see, for your love for your prince blinds you, as love blinds all of us.
Won't you,
Save this dance for me,
And I will lead for you,
I just want to feel your arms once more before you disappear from my sight forever, you lost in love, while I remain lost in my misery, forever waiting, telling myself that I cannot have you.
God has given me one more chance,
Before my life is through,
And in your arms when the music stops,
Is where I wanna be,
Telling myself to hold back, not to display any more than brotherly affection toward you. To do more is to destroy your happiness and our friendship apart. Tomorrow I leave as I cannot stay here. If I could, I would leave right now for the Undying Lands, but it is for you I stay. I remain to return here when you need me.
I just will send a prayer for you this night, to ask the Valar to send happiness your way. The happiness that I would have had ; the happiness I would have had with you by my side. The happiness I lost with you.
So pleas be brave,
And save this dance for me.
I gave you everything. My heart, my life, my soul, and I would not take it back. And when I depart on the final voyage, I know I left a little of myself here on this earth with you, in your keeping ,to live on through you.'
I won't give up, so please save this dance for me.
The final strains of the music died away as the sound of soft applause began to fill the air. This dance was over, but the night was far from over. Couples drifting off in all directions as others not inclined to dance continued to linger over drinks and conversation.
The band started to play again, this time one of his favourite melodies. A faint familiar perfume hit his senses. 'Violets and water lilies' his mind whispered, and he turned to meet a familiar sweet voice.
"My lord? May I have this dance?"
Fides praecedo miracula.
A/N: So how did you all like it? I don't know Elvish so Gaelic was substituted. "Dethair
mor" means "elder brother." The final saying however is Latin and it means "faith
precedes miracles." A little out of context but it seemed strangely appropriate.
Please review and thank you for your time.