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"Well now… there's something I never thought I'd see." Wash exclaims in disbelief. "Mal?"
"No, my son. It's Shepard Reynolds." Mal says with a grin. He's dressed in what looks to be the standard gray Shepard's get up, one that Book would be wearing. "What are you wearing! Is that a dinosaur suit?" Mal asks, not getting a response from Wash, he raises an eyebrow. "Well, I suppose that's fitting."
"Wo de ma."
"Exactly… oh. No. We can't have you using the Lord's name in vain, Wash."
"Yeah. Have you tried one of Kaylee's cupcakes? I should go eat another cupcake… far away from you. That's just… creepy." Wash says backing away slowly, hands held out in front of him in attempt to keep 'Shepard Reynolds' at bay.
"Aw, come'on Wash! It ain't that bad." Mal explains, desperately, walking toward the pilot who in turn backs away. "Hey! Fine… I'll quit actin'… er, talkin' all holy like… now, gimme a gorram cupcake."
Wash grins at Mal and cracks up laughing. "Ya know, now that the shock has passed, this is hilarious. Mal… er… Shepard Reynolds, you are ridiculous. Where did you get those clothes?"
"Book lent 'em to me."
"Ahhh… I see now. That's why you look so… authentic." Wash laughs uncontrollably, earning a glare from Mal, as he grabs a cupcake off of the plate placed on a makeshift table, consisting of a few crates turned on their sides with a table cloth draped over them.
"The girls did a great job transforming the cargo bay into a fiesta hall!" Wash says, looking around.
Black and orange streamers hang from and are wrapped around the railings festively. Balloons are strewn across the floor, as well as hanging below the catwalk. Since there was no way to inflate the balloons with helium, they hang down instead of floating up in the air, but it looks lovely none-the-less. The weight lifting bench had been turned into just a bench, River had convinced Jayne to remove the weights as well as disassemble the support beam, allowing more room to sit.
Also, somehow, they had managed to drape an arrangement of Inara's different colored, thin cloth over a few of the light sources, to dim the lights, setting a better party mood.
To top it all off, on top of the makeshift tables, there was food. Real food. Not different assortments of crudely thrown together protein. Cupcakes, fruit, tiny lil hotdogs with toothpicks poking out of them, chips, and a large bowl filled to the brim with an array of candies. Next to the food stood two punch bowls filled with a brown looking liquid.
"What do you suppose that is?" Wash asks curiously. "Doesn't look to appetizing. I don't like when liquid is brown." He says squinching his nose slightly.
"I dunno…" Mal says, leaning in closer to inspect it. "Mm… it smells like apples." He looks to Wash then back to the mysterious liquid. "How can we know what it is if we don't… question it?" Mal says, taking a cup and uses the ladle to fill the cup half way. "Bottoms up… hope it's good."
Mal lifts the cup to his lips and takes a large gulp only to spit it all back out.
Wash grins. "That good, huh?"
"It's excellent."
"Why'd ya spit it out then?" Wash asks as Mal points behind him. Wash slowly turns around to be faced with a very angry looking mercenary. Wash looks him up and down, blinks, then starts laughing uncontrollably.
"Wanna go lil' man?" Jayne asks gruffly.
"Shouldn't we be askin' you that?" Mal asks, suppressing his laughter as to not infuriate the mercenary any further.
Jayne is standing in front of the two men dressed in a red shirt that is, surprisingly, a few sizes too large for him, black shorts that go down past his knees, white socks, with a red stripe around the top, that go up to mid-calf, and his boots. He was also wearing that ridiculous hat that his mother sent him and he was carrying a blanket from off his bed as well as a rather large teddy bear.
"What… who… are you… supposed to be?" Wash forces out between laughs, tears starting to form in the corners of his eyes.
"I'm me." Jayne says sternly. "Lil' me."
"I'm not even going to ask." Simon says as he walks into the room, pushing through the balloons hanging beneath the catwalk. Everyone looks at him and raises a brow. "What? I'm a prince!" He explains, standing there in a fairy tale-esque outfit, complete with crown and sword.
"We can see that." Mal says evenly.
"Why?" Jayne growls.
"I don't know. I've always wanted to dress up as a prince." Simon explains tentatively.
"Well now, suits ya mighty fine, Prince Simon." Mal says smiling. "Ya got a princess in mind?"
Simon flushes, then smiles as the other men laugh. Mal eyes Simon's sword. "Ya know, I got stabbed with one of those once… right…"
"There, yes. We all know the story Mal." Inara says from a top the catwalk. At the sound of her voice, all the men shift their gaze, falling on two women they barely recognize.
Inara is standing at the top of the stairs, arms crossed in front of her. She's wearing a tight fitting red button up shirt, tucked into a pair of pants, equipped with holsters, and a pair of combat boots. Her hair is pulled back in a simple ponytail at the nape of her neck, and little to no makeup.
Standing next to her is Zoe clad in an extravagantly elegant black dress with gold and red embroidery, a shawl tucked into the crooks of her elbows, a few gold necklaces, bangles, and a pair of black thong sandals with gold threading throughout. Her hair was done up in an extravagant updo and her face was done up with tasteful, not overpowering makeup, her eyes and lips accentuated.
"I would have worn heels but I didn't want to be freakishly tall." Zoe says as she takes Inara's arm as it offered to her. The two women descend the staircase, Zoe taking on Inara's grace and Inara taking on Zoe's dangerous predator like movements.
The men are speechless, mouths agape. The two women roll their eyes. "If you hadn't figured it out yet, we swapped rolls, as well as clothing. I think it was pretty ingenious." Inara explains, looking at Zoe who nods in agreement.
Wash looks at his wife and his lips turn upward into a large grin. "My very own companion. I could get used to this." He says smugly. "Ooo…" He continues, looking Zoe up and down. "My slinky dress!"
Zoe detaches herself from Inara laughing, linking arms with her husband.
Inara watches as they move toward the food, smiling. She turns her attention on Mal, and grins when she sees the look of shock on his face. "What?" Inara asks Mal. "You don't like it?"
He opens his mouth to talk but nothing comes out. Inara laughs. "Ah… I see, you don't like it. You love it." She says knowingly. Mal just nods.
"Have you ever been with a warrior woman?" Inara asks jokingly.
Mal blinks and smacks himself in the forehead. "Nara. You look so… natural. I mean you look beautiful in your normal clothes but… wow. You play Zoe very well." He says, looking her up and down. "Very well."
"Thank you Mal."
All of the sudden, music begins to resound throughout the cargo bay. "There we go!" Kaylee's voice can be heard behind the balloons underneath the catwalk. A pair of white heels and a pair of knee high black heeled boots can be seen until the last two to arrive at the party push through the balloons.
Kaylee is standing in the white heels, one hand on her hip, the other hand holding what appears to be a clipboard. She is wearing a very short, white nurse's uniform. She has dark eye makeup on, accentuating her eyes, and red lipstick, to match the little red cross on her white hat pinned to her perfectly straight hair. "What do you think doctor?" She asks, walking over to Simon who stumbles over his words, not ever making a coherent sentence.
"He loves it." River says smiling. Jayne hears her voice and automatically looks up from the table of food. What he sees, he could never have been prepared for in all his life.
River is standing in a pair of knee high leather boots, very tight leather pants, and a leather tie-up vest. The vest hugs tight to her body, stopping just above her belly button, showing off her toned stomach. It dips in a low v in the front, creating more cleavage than anyone could ever imagine River having. Her eyes are done in black make up, a gloss is added to her lips, giving them a natural shine, and lines are drawn on her cheeks, simulating whiskers. There is a headband in her hair with two black cat ears attached. Her hair is a lot longer straight than when it is in a wavy mess, like usual, it hangs down to her lower back.
She sees Jayne staring at her so she smiles at him and gives him a 360 view as she spins slowly. He had never been so turned on, so fast in all his life. Her delectable rear looked deadly in those pants. As he looked, he saw a black tail attached to the pants, and laughed to himself. Gorram, kitten.
She walked up to him and he looked deep into those dark all knowing eyes. "He likes it?"
Jayne laughed to himself again. "How can I not? But what gave it away, kitten?"
"Your man parts are stiff." River says with a sly grin.
"Happen'd as soon as I laid m' eyes on ya, River." He says quietly, leaning in close enough to almost whisper. His face is inches away from her and he can smell her again. "You smell like apples, Kitten."
"I drank cider."
"Naw, kitten, ya always smell lik' apples." He says leaning in closer still. River smiles widely at him and turns quickly, heading toward the others at the party, her hair swinging in his face. The breeze, created by her fast movements, cause Jayne to be flooded with the scent of her. He groans. She always rushes off. I still have to talk to her.
River goes up to Kaylee and Simon. "Trick or treat!"
"River! What are you wearing?" Simon asks flabbergasted.
"She's a kitten." River explains with a smile, as River meows. "Don't she look fabulous?"
"Well yes… but that's what I'm worried about… she's too young to be dressing in such a way."
"She's 18! She's a woman!" Kaylee says in defense. "Yer gonna haveta get used to her bein' this old lookin'. I think she's takin' a likin' to this way of dressin'."
"Well, I for one don't know how I feel about it." Mal says sternly. "As captain, I don't know if I'd feel comfortable with River dressin' all sexy like."
"Sexy! Did you just call my sister sexy?" Simon says, beginning to freak out.
"Look at 'er. She's all kindsa sexy." Jayne argues, looking at her in a way that seems like he's undressing her with his eyes.
Mal and Simon both shoot him a look. "Jayne. Your mouth is talkin'." Mal says.
"I know. I got a right ta talk don't I?" He argues.
"NO!" Simon and Mal yell in unison.
"Well, I think I do." Jayne mutters under his breath.
"You really have no choice as to how River dresses, acts, talks… she's a grown woman, and is smart enough to make decisions for herself… as well as everyone else on this ship." Inara argues fiercely.
Mal looks over at Inara who looks outraged. "Ya know, Nara… I don't think I've ever seen you so mad and so sexy at the same time."
Inara flushes.
"She's right Simon, we really have no say in the matter. It's River's life." Mal says, giving into Inara.
"What is going ON here!" Wash exclaims. "I think everyone on this ship is going mad."
"Well I, for one, believe I do have a say in it. She's my sister!" Simon practically screams.
Kaylee captures his eyes with hers. "Bao-bei… she's old enough ta do what she wants. Ya have to let 'er go some time. She'll always be your lil' mei-mei, but let 'er be 'er own person."
"Yeah…" Jayne interjects. "Listen ta lil' Kaylee, she knows what she's sayin'."
Simon throws Jayne a look. "Since when do you care about my sister."
The question was too good to pass up. "I always have." Jayne says, looking at River. "I care about 'er in ways tha' no one on this ship could e'er 'magine that I could care fer som'one."
Everyone stares at Jayne in disbelief. "Yup… everyone's goin' mad." Wash says.
"What are you talking about Jayne?" Mal looks at the mercenary with daggers in his eyes.
"I think I love 'er." Jayne says carefully.
"No. No, you can't love my sister. Even if you did… she would never, could never love you in return." Simon says with a look of disgust on his face, glaring at Jayne.
"But she does." River says, moving to stand next to Jayne, looking up into his eyes, smiling.
"This weren't the way I was plannin' on tellin' ya kitten." Jayne says sadly.
"She knows. You had to get it out. It was over-crowding your brain. Causing you pain." River says, bringing a hand up to caress his cheek.
"Would anyone mind explaining to me what's going on here?" Mal asks furiously. "Why is it that, even though I'm captain, I never know what's goin' on in my own boat!"
"They love each other cap'n." Kaylee says dreamily.
"He keeps her safe. Makes her happy." Inara says evenly.
"He keeps her from being completely crazy. He fixes her." Zoe adds.
"You three KNEW about this?" Mal and Simon ask, tempers flaring.
"STOP IT!" River screams. "It hurts… you hurt me. Jayne makes her happy. She hasn't been this happy since as far back as she can remember. Why can't you let her be happy? Simon, Mal, let me be happy." She pleads, looking into their eyes, tears threatening to smudge her makeup.
Both men look at her, then look at each other, and glare at Jayne. Finally, they sigh and shrug in unison.
"All I want is for you to be happy River. Although I don't approve of Jayne, you have my permission to… date him." Simon spits the last two words out like they'll kill him if he keeps them any longer.
"If'n the doc approves, I ain't got much say in the matter." Mal sighs again. "What use is it bein' captain if no one follows my rules?" River gives Mal a look. "Fine. Ya'll got my blessin'." He forces out.
River squeals in delight and launches herself into Jayne's arms. He catches her and holds her small body close to his. Mine. Jayne thinks to himself as he sets her down on her own two feet. River grins and looks him in the eyes, bringing both of her hands up to cup his face. "Always your kitten."
Jayne smiles and laughs low. "Is tha' why yer dressed up as one? I hadn't even called ya kitten yet when ya'll went out ta get yer costume."
"Confession." River smiles guiltily and drops her hands from his face down to her sides, glancing at the floor. "I listened to your thoughts a few days before. Wanted to see what you wanted to see her wear… although she had a pretty good idea."
Jayne laughs and brings a hand up to her chin, tilting her head up toward his as he leans down toward her. "That's very sneaky of ya kitten. I tol' ya plenty 'a times ta stay outa my head. This time I think I'll do som'thin' about it." He brings his lips down on hers lightly, brushing hers with his, only enough to get a taste.
River groans as he pulls away. "No… she wants your lips on hers, your hands on her, your skin against hers..."
"I know, kitten. But ya gotta be punish'd for snoopin' 'round my head." Jayne grins and heads over to the food table, leaving River fully unsatisfied. She groans again and follows after him.
Grabbing a cupcake, River smiles up at Jayne. "Chocolate releases chemicals in your brain, the same one's as sex. Chocolate is just as good."
"Th'ain't nothin' as good as sex, kitten."
"I wouldn't know," River says slyly. "Someone is keeping me from knowing such pleasures."
"You'll know soon enough, Kitten." Jayne smiles down at her.
Looking back up at him, River's smile fades from her lips, but never leaves her eyes. "Love you, Jayne." She says seriously.
"Love you, too, kitten."