The Perfect Couple
Rating: PG. Cursing.
Summary: (Follows plot of radio show, but it's basically the same as the books) It's been a year since Ford and Arthur have been stuck on Earth. A fight ensues. Ford accidentally confesses his deep dark secret that's been hidden for years.
Disclaimer: Why would I submit something that was MINE to the internet where It can be so easily stolen? Duh.
Ford and Arthur belong to that genius we refer to as Douglas Adams. The Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster copyrights belong to Zaphod Beeblebrox.
Minor updates. ; Just a few corrections!
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One year. That's how long they'd been on that planet together. One whole year.
Neither one of them knew that, of course. The days just started to mesh together after a while.
There had been only two things on Ford Prefect's mind: how to get off the Earth and should he or shouldn't he tell Arthur Dent his deepest-darkest secret.
He had been waiting since a few months after they had become close friends for a moment alone. This is your one and only chance, he thought. There's no telling how much longer you'll be on this planet. This is your only time alone. We've even had the chance of spending some real quality time! This is perfect. Just tell him!
Unfortunately, no matter what kind of danger, peril, or panic Ford Prefect could have been through, nothing prepared him for this. He really hated love. OK, that was a lie. He wanted it more than anything, which confused the kidney-like-organs out of him. Hitchers are supposed to be loners right? Never sticking to one person. Just one night stands and WHAM you're off onto your next entry for the Guide.
Something was different about this time. This time, he didn't just want to have hot wild sex with his friend, oh no. He wanted cuddling and kisses and physical contact that made sparks fly up and down his body. He wanted Arthur's love more than anything in the universe. A Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster would be nice too.
--
Arthur was sitting just far enough away from Ford Prefect for them not to touch. He had two choices: hold Ford's hand or turn and walk away in panic using the ever-popular bathroom excuse.
--
What Ford and Arthur don't realize is that they both will love each other until the ends of the universe. And, if the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is to be believed, then the universe is infinite. So, Ford andArthur love each other very much.
The day was absoultely perfect. If your ideal day was cold with no wind and it's just about to rain but it never does.
Arthur Dent was perfectly content with the weather. He didn't like the sun very much, being very pale and the invention of sunscreen being 200 million years later or so. He also was wearing a thick bathrobe that was very warm indeed.
Ford was not content. He hated this weather and his outfit wasn't helping very much. He was wearing a typical Sunny-Thursday outfit and his towel. Yeah, towels rock and they do provide a little warmth, but not today.
Ford kept thinking of how jealous he was of that plaid robe and how much he wanted to share it with Arthur. Why not ask? It would be a reasonable question. He's sitting there freezing his ass off and Arthur's not. It's not like it would be a pitty excuse to sit next to him. No. Not at all.
It was hopeless. Neither one of them would do it.
"Bloody hell. I need a drink." Ford mumbled a little louder than he should have. (He also completley forgot the emergency supply of alcohol that he kept in his satchel.)
"Is that all you can think about?"
"No. But, there's not much else we can do, is there? I mean, we're stuck here. Not a damn thing we can do. Plus, I could really go for one right about now."
No matter how much he loved Ford, Arthur was getting a little tired of Ford constantly stating his need for drink. He got up and stormed off to their cave-o-selter.
"Where are you going?"
"Anywhere where I don't have to listen to you beg for alcohol every five bloody minutes!"
Did I say a little tired? I meant right out sick of.
Ford followed after him, "Hey, I'm not the one who begs for tea every times he opens his mouth!"
Arthur turned around. While walking briskly up to Ford in that I'm-bloody-angry way, he was yelling, "Excuse me for trying to find some way to connect with my home! It was destroyed!"
"What do you think we're standing on, Hair-dresser-man!"
Oh no. That was it. Ford crossed the line.
"For the last time, those idiots are NOT my ancestors!"
"Yes, they are! They're just like you! Whiny, confusing, and always wrong!"
"Oh yeah? Well if you don't like me that much, then why did you save me from Earth being destroyed in the first place?"
"Because I love you!"
Ford mentally stopped in his tracks. Did that just come out of his mouth?
Oh Zarquon. No. First, he just got in a fight with Arthur; then, in the heat of said fight, he confessed his love to him. That's it. Arthur will certainly never speak to him again.
Ford started to run away.
--
"Because I love you!"
Arthur also mentally stopped. What did Ford just say? Could he have said the one thing that Arthur had been desperately trying to say for years?
Ford started to run away. Arthur called for him.
"Ford! Ford! Come back!" Ford didn't show any signs of slowing down.
Arthur chased after him.
--
Run. Run away. Run before he rejects you. Run before you get your heart broken. Just... Run. Ford thought and kept to that thought.
Fate decided, "Hey! I'm going to let that Dent fellow catch up to you," and Ford tripped on a rock and landed face down.
Belgium he thought. He didn't even bother to get up.
Arthur did, in fact, catch up with him. "Ford..." was all he could manage between gasps of air. He needed to exercise.
Ford rolled over and stood to face Arthur. The only thing that could be heard was Arthur's heavy breathing. They looked deep into each other's eyes. If Arthur didn't know Ford better, he could have sworn that Ford was a little teary-eyed.
At last, one of them spoke. It was Arthur.
"I love you, too."
The human hugged the Betelguesian tight. Ford slowly wrapped his arms around his friend. A forever seemed to pass as they stayed in embrace.
"Arthur?"
"Yes?"
"I've been wanting to do this for a long, long time."
Ford loosened his grip, just enough to look at Arthur. He leaned up and pressed his lips against Arthur's. Both of them almost collapsed to the ground due to their weak knees. Another forever passed. Neither wanted it to end, but it had to.
Arthur let their hug loose. "C'mon. It's time to eat."
--
From that moment on, any time you just happen to glance back at Ford and Arthur, they always seemed to be holding hands. And, if you happened to peak into whatever sleeping quarters they had, you could most likely find them stuck like glue. Betelguesian and Human. The perfect couple.