Chapter Seven

"Never Stay or Understand"
Syaoran's POV .:..:..:.

I couldn't believe what I had just done.

I had kissed the most beautiful girl ever.

Ever.

My heart was beating a million miles an hour as she continued to smile. I helped her up from the ground, and she continued to wipe her eyes, yet still smiling as she did so.

"Sorry...I --" She paused. "I'm usually not like this."

I shrugged, the smile still on my face as I spoke again, "Hey, don't worry about it." I glanced around, my palms sweating, and I could feel my head start to pound. I had to do something...

I turned to her and my nerves started to almost over-react, but I calmed down as soon as I added, "So...you still want to hang out?"

Sakura grinned this time, and nodded as the bell rang to signify the end of the day.

But I had a weird, unusual thought inside my head.

That is was truly only the beginning.

I hadn't entirely planned on Sakura coming over to my house, but that's what ended up happening.

She looked around the neighbourhood; run-down, poor, even some possible chances of violence breaking out any second.

But she didn't care. She looked from the abandoned road to my small, run-down, poor white house, and said, "You have a nice house."

I almost laughed at her comment, but instead replied, "I'm glad someone thinks so."

Almost as I was amazed about her sincerity, I was even more amazed that I actually was making full sentences come out of my mouth.

Maybe you're not so bad, ghost boy.

Once we passed through the kitchen, I was relieved to see that no one was home.

Who knew what my father would say when he knew I had invited a more than just pretty girl to our house. My mom wouldn't have any trouble with it, but she would however, try to fight with my dad and it would cause another uproar that I wouldn't want to remember.

And once again I would say nothing.

I led her down to the basement, which was also known as my room. A mattress sat in the corner with thrown blankets at the foot of it, a scratched TV, and the couch which my guitar -- my pride -- sat on.

Sakura immediately ran over to the guitar and turned back to me with that wonderful grin present. "Wow...an electric?"

I nodded, and was shocked that she said nothing about the crappy state my house was in. Instead, she was glancing at my guitar, and asked, "You must be really good..."

I laughed. "Not entirely..."

She laughed in return. "Oh, come on. You must play constantly. I'd love to have this..." She took another glance at it, and then held the strap up. "May I?"

I nodded, and she slipped it on, playfully strumming nothing comprehensible and soft since it wasn't plugged in.

I laughed at the sight of her, pretending to impersonate an imaginary rock star.

And the whole time she was doing that -- twirling her hair around, banging her head, and tapping the fret board -- I could totally picture her as "Kinomoto Sakura. Rock star."

She paused for a second, and then glanced at the torn pieces of paper lying on the table. She picked them up, trying to read what was written.

Then I realized it.

It was my song.

Shit.

"What's this?" Sakura asked as she rotated the paper.

I mumbled, "Um...It's nothing...Just a song."

Yeah, a song about how amazing you are.

"And you ripped it up?" She seemed disappointed. "Why? I would have loved to hear it."

I scoffed, glancing at the miniscule pieces of paper. She wouldn't be able to read it if she tried.

"Believe me, it was stupid. It had a terrible rhyming scheme...just a typical 'me', 'be', 'you', 'too', thing. It sucked."

Sakura set the pieces down, and looked at me with her bright emerald eyes. "You know, you should definitely talk more."

I was surprised to hear this, and could feel myself blushing like crazy. I was such an idiot.

She continued, "You have a nice voice, really, you do." She looked down, and then back up at me. "Why didn't you talk before? There's nothing wrong with it."

I felt myself start to clam up. And it wasn't because of her, oh no.

But then I remembered why I had been silent for so long.

Why I was always so invisible.

And that was the reason no one noticed me.

I chose to live like that.

I was probably better off living like that.

I forced the tears back, not wanting to cry in front of her. I didn't want to be weak. I didn't want to be scared.

She tried to read my expression as she tilted her head to see mine as it hung low, but I tried not to look up.

"Syaoran...?"

At least she still remembers your name.

"...Syaoran..."

There was concern in her voice, and I just couldn't take it. I didn't want her to care about me anymore.

I finally looked up, and she noticed my eyes glisten as she still had a look of worry on her beautiful face.

"Wha--...Are you okay?"

I wanted to embrace her again in the hallway.

I would give anything to feel like that again.

But instead, I got up and left the room, and left my house.

Even if it was really mine, and she should have left instead, I knew I just had to get out.

I wouldn't let Sakura get hurt because of me.