"Drowning in Doubt"
What was wrong with me?
How could I possibly leave her?
I sat alone on the bench, probably how I would for the rest of my pointless life.
I planned on never opening my mouth again. I could just imagine the bad things that would result from it. Just that one stupid action.
Speaking.
Even now, words spiralled down in my head, but I knew I couldn't listen to them.
I wouldn't ever let anyone know what I was thinking.
And as I sat in the empty park, on the empty bench, with my entire emptiness, I knew I was indefinitely alone again.
The tears stung my eyes, just like the doubt stung my heart.
And I knew I was drowning.
Drowning in doubt.
And drowning in Sakura.
Sakura's POV
I ran through the door I had come in just before, and almost collided with a tall man who had a bag of groceries in his hand and a petite woman with bouncy, black curls behind him.
I dodged them both before I could even think, and walked the rest of the way home.
It made no sense.
Syaoran-kun was hiding something, I knew it. He was probably used to it, being silent most of the time and hiding everything. Never telling anyone anything.
I could have very well been the first one he had ever spoken to in years, who knew.
Nobody ever would, because even though he had been talking, he would never tell.
Something about the subject, when I brought it up...I saw the hurt in his dark eyes. And it was stronger than anything I'd ever sensed before.
I didn't want to upset or hurt him. I never would.
As I walked up the steps, held onto the railing, and shifted my backpack to my other shoulder, I sensed something in me.
That I was in love with him.
But what I cared about more was if he was in love with me.
And if I'd ever hear him speak again.
Syaoran's POV
.:..:..:.
I opened the door, closing my eyes, knowing that I would bolt for my room, the basement, as soon as I stepped foot into my "nice" house -- like Sakura had called it.
Hopefully they wouldn't notice.
Maybe I could just walk past them.
How come out of everyone, it was both of them who could only really see me?
And Sakura...
I shook my head and hoped the thoughts of her would disappear as I turned the doorknob and entered the kitchen.
And automatically, as soon as I took my first step in, my father noticed.
"Damn it!" He yelled, and I saw my mom quickly disappear from the room as she probably didn't want to hear any of this. "You happen to come home now ! Long after that girl was gone?"
I closed my eyes and looked down. I knew what was going to happen...
"Did you know her?" His voice echoed, and I swallowed out of nervousess, wanting to disappear like my mother had. "What the hell is with that? You have friends all of a sudden! Jesus Christ, you never even speak, let alone look people in the eye!" He laughed slightly. "And you're as ugly as hell. Thankfully, you got that from your mother, not me."
I kept my eyes closed. I didn't want to picture his face. He was ugly. Not me.
"And God damn it, you'll spend the rest of your life alone if I have anything to do with it."
I opened my eyes and looked up finally, and saw him. That stupid, son of a --
I could hear his words, I just didn't want to listen. I blocked them out with visions of Sakura. Her smile. How much I wanted to smile right now back at her.
I turned around slowly, heading for the basement; peace. But I didn't turn around fast enough to not feel the collision of his hand and my face.
I tried to walk down the stairs again as I felt my eyes start to sting and blur my vision again.
But it didn't blur my vision of her.
It never would.
I promised myself I would never speak to anyone ever again.
For the rest of my lonely life.