Chapter 12
The next morning we held a funeral for Fiona, Fernald, and Captain Widdershins. (We had found Kit and Phil on the Siren by this time. For once, Phil could not find anything cheerful to say.) I gave the eulogies.
"Fiona Baudelaire was a brave volunteer, loyal to her family and to the man she loved," I said. "She died as the result of trying to stop the woman who caused the death of her stepfather and brother. At the last, she gave up her will to live in order to save her husband, Klaus."
Klaus was sitting in the front with his two sisters beside him. He wept at this.
"Captain Ishmael Widdershins also had a good heart. He wanted to believe the best about his stepson, Fernald. He also wanted the best for the V.F.D. When he showed the article about me to Beatrice and others, it was because he honestly believed it was true.
"Fernald Screwtape also originally had a good heart. He took it hard when his father abandoned the family to take a darker path as 'the man with a beard and no hair'. Later, that man had Fernald and Fiona's mother killed to prevent her talking about him, and made her death look like a manatee accident.
"Fernald loved caring for the salmon of the Voluntary Fish Domestication project, and he strongly objected when our side of the schism turned from our ideals and began to use poison against our enemies. He especially hated the research by Gregor Anwhistle into Medusoid Mycelium. One day, he set fire to Anwhistle Aquatics in hopes of stopping this research.
"I have learned through my investigations that Captain Widdershins helped him do this. At the time, only Fernald was blamed. He was caught and sentenced by a secret tribunal of the V.F.D. to row in the penal submarine Octopus, now the Carmelita. Nerve damage from excessive rowing caused the loss of his hands.
"Count Olaf stole that submarine and turned all the galley slaves into his theater troupe. Captain Widdershins only recently learned what had happened to his stepson. When he did, it turned him against the V.F.D., especially against my sister Kit, who designed the Octopus and who was the head of the secret tribunal who punished Fernald. I believe that she will now admit she was wrong to do this."
"I will not!" Kit exclaimed. "It is right to punish traitors, and that's what Fernald was!"
Klaus stood up, his eyes red. "How dare you! Your cruelty drove Fiona's whole family into crime and death."
"Parents!" cried Sunny, which meant "You helped our parents commit murder, too."
Quigley stood up, "I agree with Kit. You just don't understand how the V.F.D. works for the greater good."
Violet was up next. "Quigley, I know now that you lied and manipulated us at the Valley of the Four Drafts. Klaus told me what you said, that you never really cared about me. I loved you, but now I hate you!"
Duncan and Isadora joined the squabble and soon the whole room was full of shouting. Finally, Kit walked to the back of the room.
"I'm leaving," Kit announced. "I've had enough of this funeral for traitors. Anyone who wants to remain loyal to the true V.F.D., follow me."
Quigley walked back and joined her. He beckoned to Duncan and Isadora, but they shook their heads.
"Kit, don't do this," I called to her. "This is another schism."
"My beloved Dewey gave his life for the cause, and so will I," Kit said.
"Dewey wouldn't want this," I said.
"Goodbye," said Kit.
Kit and Quigley left the building. We heard the engine of the hydroplane starting. Sadly, I resumed the funeral where we had left off.