Disclaimer: I do not own anything. Nothing at all, except for a cat. And you wouldn't want the cat. He costs too much to feed. So don't sue me! Because I don't own Degrassi!

Author's Note: This story is my baby, so it will probably take me a little while between updates, because I can be a little obsessive-compulsive about getting my chapters just right. And the story started out with the guidance counselor as a first person point of view, which I will come back to later in the story, but this is going to be one of those stories where I switch from character point of view to character point of view from chapter to chapter. I'm really nervous about doing a couple of the characters points of view, so constructive criticism is very welcome. I would really appreciate it if people feel that I am writing the characters too far out of character, because I really hate it when other writers do that. So please, feel free to let me know if I don't get the characters right. Thanks! Idontknowanything

Redemption

Chapter 1: Just a Girl

Emma Nelson was just a girl. Right now, that was all she really wanted to be. She wanted to be just another average teenage girl like all the rest milling in the hallway, searching for the friends they hadn't seen all summer and new lockers and new homerooms. Emma remembered when she had used to stand out as a girl who stood up for what she thought was right. The girl who stood up in front of her entire class and announced she had just got her first period just to make a couple of boys shut up. The girl who took a week suspension to prove her point about freedom of speech. She used to be the girl who knew who she was and who used to do what she thought was right, no matter what. But somewhere along the way, she had lost that girl. Now, instead of standing out for being the girl who always stood up for what she thought was right, she was now the girl who stood out for all of the mistakes she has made. Those mistakes she kept trying to get past so that she could move on with her life. But in high school, who ever lets you forget your mistakes?

"Hey, Emma, going down to the Ravine tonight?" Chris said loudly as he walked past, a friend patting him on the back and snickering as some of the other people standing in the hallway laughed. Emma turned her back and pretended to be searching for her new locker number, trying her best to ignore Chris, to ignore the whispers and laughs of the students congregated in the hallway, and, most importantly, trying to forget the shame that his comment made her feel. But, she guessed that had proved her point. No matter how much you try to forget your mistakes, other people won't let you forget. Especially jealous ex-boyfriends who apparently had nothing better to do in life than tormenting their ex-girlfriend.

Emma wished Manny was there to walk with her to her new homeroom, so that she didn't have to wander the hallways alone. Interestingly enough, as Emma had discovered last year, a person alone in the crowded hallway stood out a lot more than someone who was with another person or in a group. It seemed like if you were alone, people were more likely to whisper and laugh and make comments about things that were none of their business. More and more lately, Emma was starting to feel sorry for deserting Manny when her reputation was ruined back in Grade 9. She would really have to remember to apologize about that sometime. But she couldn't today, because Manny wasn't here. Manny wasn't going to be here today, because she was auditioning for a commercial. So, that left Emma to find her way to homeroom, alone, unless she wanted to look for Toby or J.T. or Liberty, which wasn't too appealing, because Liberty was still holding a grudge about that whole Chris thing last year, and J.T. was with Liberty, and Toby – well Toby kind of reminded Emma of some other things she would like to leave in the past.

"Hey, Emmaline." A voice drawled behind her. Emma rolled her eyes, as she knew who it was. No one else called her Emmaline, except for Chester, who only did it to annoy her. She turned around to smile at Chester, who was walking right behind her. "Good, " she thought. "No Chuck and Chad with him today."

"Hi Chester." Emma said, as she slowed down just enough to let Chester catch up with her and was now walking beside her.

"So, Emma, did you enjoy the decorations?" Chester said, and smirked. Emma rolled her eyes. Last week, she had walked outside to a yard completely decorated in toilet paper, courtesy of the Hosada boys.

"Yeah, Chester. Real original. Can't your brothers think of anything more original and a little less juvenile?" Emma asked, rolling her eyes as she said it.

Chester smiled and shook his head, laughing softly. "You don't want to know their original plan," he stated. "I talked them out of their original plan," he said.

"What was their original plan?" Emma asked.

"You REALLY don't want to know." Chester said, and hurried off before Emma could ask him more about what that original plan was. She shook her head, smiling a little bit as she headed down the hall, thinking about her prank war with the guys two doors down. Chester was turning out to be pretty fun to have as a neighbor, and the whole prank war had given her something different to think about this summer instead of everything that went wrong last year.

Last year… the worst year of her life. When she had started last school year, she had thought, nothing could be worse than the year before, with Snake's cancer, her falling out with Manny, and her break-up with Sean. This year, she knew better. Things could be worse than they were in Grade 9. But Emma didn't want to think about that. Thinking about last year just brought back memories and feelings she would rather forget.

Emma was startled out of her thoughts by a tapping on her shoulder.

"Hi Emma, how are you?" Ms. Sauve asked, as Emma stopped in the hallway and turned to face her. Emma suddenly realized she was in the hallway she had avoided the end of last year. The hallway where Ms. Sauve's office was. "Uh-oh," Emma thought to herself. "I so do not have time for one of Ms. Suave's you can talk to me anytime talks."

"I'm fine, Ms. Sauve." Emma said to Ms. Sauve.

"I need to talk to you for a moment Emma. I'll give you a pass for homeroom." Ms. Sauve said, as she led Emma into her office.

Emma watched as Ms. Suave sat down in her chair, and motioned for Emma to sit down in the one across from her.

"Emma, I already talked to your parents about this, and they really want you to participate." Ms. Sauve started. "I am beginning a group therapy session for some of the students directly affected by the shooting that happened last year, and your mom and dad have already signed consent forms for you to participate. This will be really good for you." Ms. Sauve.

"You already talked to my mom and dad about this! Why didn't they tell me?" Emma asked.

"Because I wanted it to be your choice, Emma. I didn't want it to be something you did because your parents wanted you to." Ms. Sauve stated patiently.

"Well, I don't want to. The last thing I need at this point in time is to talk about all my problems to some group of kids who don't care." Emma said as she stood up and turned around to start walking towards the door.

"Emma." Ms. Suave said. "I wanted it to be your choice, but I think maybe you should call your mom and talk to her before you leave this room. Your mom is really worried about you. She is very upset that you aren't talking to her about what happened last year, and feels you aren't dealing with what happened. And Emma, you can't just keep all these feeling bottled up inside. It only makes things worse."

Emma closed her eyes for a moment. She felt the weight of her failure to be the perfect girl weighing down on her again. She hated to worry her mom, and she hated how she was unable to talk to her mom about her feelings after last year. She really tried to talk to her mom, too. But somehow, she couldn't do it. Even after admitting to her mom that she needed to go to the health unit because she could have gonorrhea, Emma still couldn't admit to her mom all of those feelings she kept hidden. Emma thought for a moment about what Ms. Suave had said, and about all those feelings she was trying to forget so that she could move on with her life. Emma thought for a moment longer, before turning around to face Ms. Sauve. Emma had made a decision.