Chapter 13
A week later, after we gave Klaus time to rest and heal, we sailed back to the city in the Siren. The Snow Scouts were reunited with their families at last. The Duchess R. had gone on a new mission with the help of the Female Finnish Pirates.
The three Baudelaires, the two remaining Quagmires, and I were having breakfast at the Veritable French Diner.
"Yesterday I sent the warning to myself sixteen years in past, about Beatrice," I told the others. "Alas, I know it will not save her."
"Why send it, then?" asked Isadora.
"It gave me hope for fifteen years, trying to get the warning to her," I said.
"False hope," said Klaus.
"False hope is still hope," I said. "Without it I might well have succumbed to despair over losing her love."
I placed the sugar bowl on the table and took another doily out of my pocket.
"This would be a good place to send the warning about Fiona. Jerome Squalor used to eat breakfast here every day between 7:30 and 8:30AM."
"No!" said Klaus. "There was no hope in that message. It only caused us grief."
"You fought harder to live when Fiona died," Violet said gently. "So her sacrifice wouldn't be in vain."
"Both," said Sunny, meaning, "If not for that message we might have lost both of you."
Klaus gave us a look of bitter sadness.
"I wrote the message with my left hand to disguise my writing," I said. "I don't know how it got torn, but it seems more honest to send the full message."
The doily read, "Fiona Baudelaire will die October 19, 2xxx."
I placed the doily in the clips. The instant before I pressed the button, Klaus cried "Don't!" and grabbed the paper. The doily tore as it vanished, leaving the piece that read "Fiona" in his hand.
Klaus put his head on the table and covered his face with his arms. "Now would you please destroy that cursed thing?"
"I can't," I said. "It has to send a message to the Kornbluths in 41 years."
Klaus moaned.
"I have to stay on the run to keep it safe," I said. "It could fall into the wrong hands and do a lot of harm before it gets to Dale Kornbluth. Anyway, I have a good use for it."
"What?" asked Sunny.
For answer, I removed a letter from my pocket and handed it to Violet. "This letter to Olaf from one of his henchmen was intercepted right after your stay with Montgomery Montgomery. Notice anything odd about it?"
Violet read through the first part. "It mentions a book called 'The Reptile Room' at a library. The book describes the reptiles in Uncle Monty's collection and how we waved goodbye to them when they were taken."
"How could a book be published and in a library so soon after it happened?" Duncan asked.
"Exactly," I said. "After I got that letter I did some investigation. A whole series of books is being published about you. I swore when your mother, Beatrice, died that I would write such a series in her memory, but my research has only begun."
"You think you're writing them from the future?" asked Violet.
"Yes," I said. "An author named Daniel Handler has been getting doilies from me and having them published as books. For security reasons, he is pretending that the manuscripts are being delivered in all sorts of obscure ways. The tenth book was going to come out before the meeting at the Hotel Denouement, so I asked him to include a message to Kit in it."
"That's a lot of doilies," said Duncan.
"I got hold of most of the contents of the crate of them that Sunny broke open at Veblen Hall," I said.
"You've read the books?" Isadora asked.
"That would be cheating. I swore to write them using my own research. But interviews with all of you from time to time would help me immensely," I said.
"Why do you have to use the time machine to publish them?" Klaus asked. "What's wrong with the normal way?"
"I'm still hoping when Kit and Quigley read about all your sufferings, and all the confusion you went through because the V.F.D. would not give you information, that they'll have a change of heart and mend the new schism. They're not heartless, you know, just fanatically dedicated."
"I hope you succeed," said Violet. "In the mean time, we're still on the run from the law. The man with a beard and no hair is still after us. I doubt we'll ever be able to claim our fortune."
"You're welcome to come with me," I said. "I'm on the run too and I know a great deal about disguises."
"No," said Klaus. "I can't stand the idea of traveling with someone who's always writing about us."
"We'll go with you, Klaus" said Isadora.
"That's right," said Duncan.
"You sure?" asked Sunny.
"Yes," said the two Quagmires together.
The five children left, leaving me alone to begin writing on a doily:
"Dear Mr. Handler,
My name is Lemony Snicket, and I hope you will be able to help me. You are my last hope that the unfortunate tales of the Baudelaire orphans can be told to the world..."