A/N: It's Jimmy's turn! This chapter starts where the last left off. I'll answer that question you were probably thinking last chapter – why did Jimmy come back? This chapter will also explore Jimmy's thoughts about Spinner and also his thoughts about his relationship with Hazel. So, here we go – the next chapter.

Chapter 11: The Unforgiven

Why had he come here, to this meeting? It wasn't like he had no choice in the matter. He originally came the first week, thinking that it would be a one-time thing – he would go once and try it so that Ms. Sauve would get off his back about it. But after he came last Tuesday, he made the mistake of mentioning something to Hazel about it. He remembered that conversation so well.

"Where were you Tuesday after school?" Hazel asked, as she sat on the couch in his living room with him as they watched TV together. This was what their dates had consisted of since he came home from the hospital – they would meet at his apartment or someone else's place and watch T.V or movies together. It was almost as if Hazel was afraid to take him somewhere, because it would be too difficult for him to do some of the things they used to do together or with friends.

Jimmy could feel the distance between them growing each day – every day they spent together it felt like they were drifting further and further apart. He loved her, and she loved him, but their relationship wasn't the same, anymore. They didn't talk about anything real anymore. Their conversations consisted of "How was your day?" or "Guess what happened between Paige and Manny today" – and they never talked about anything more than that anymore.

"Ms. Suave had a group therapy meeting for some of us "shooting survivors." He said, as he watched the people on the screen dance – yet another thing he couldn't do anymore the same way he could before. He couldn't walk, he couldn't run, he couldn't play basketball, he couldn't talk to his girlfriend about anything other than mundane small talk – let's just add dancing to the list of things in his life that had changed.

"Oh…" Hazel said, pausing as if she was thinking what to say. Jimmy noticed she had been doing that a lot lately – weighing her words before speaking, as if she was afraid of saying anything that might hurt him – as if she was afraid to say anything real.

For the first time in a long time, the old Hazel – the pre-shooting girlfriend he had used to know, showed up as she said the first honest thing she had in a long time.

"Did you talk to them about what happened?" Hazel asked, looking at him with a concerned look in her eyes.

"A little bit." Jimmy stated, as he stared at the TV screen in front of him. The couple on TV was now kissing passionately – something else that had been occurring less and less often as the distance between him and Hazel continued to grow. They used to spend a good hour making out on the couch – anymore they were lucky if they kissed for more than 10 seconds when saying good-bye at the door.

"You need to talk – you know. I know you don't want to talk to me – I don't know why you don't, but I just know that you don't– but you need to talk about it. If not to me, then maybe to someone. Maybe you might be able to talk about it to people who were there." Hazel said, and looked at him with an imploring look in her beautiful brown eyes.

It was then, that Jimmy realized the distance he had been feeling between the two of them – the differences he had been feeling in the relationship may be more about him and his refusal to talk than about her walking on eggshells around him. Or maybe it was a combination of both. He looked at Hazel, sitting there, and for the first time in a long time, he started to feel like maybe she did understand a little bit – that although there was this distance between them – she was still there. It was then and there that he decided to go back to the group thing, so that maybe he could find a way to talk – so that maybe he could find his way back to her.

So he had come back to this group, determined to try to talk. He thought that maybe Toby and Emma might understand what he was feeling. The whole problem with this group thing was that Spinner was there. He listened as Spinner begged his forgiveness again, claiming that it was all just a joke. Some joke, Jimmy thought, as he looked down at his chair.

"Some joke, Spinner. Next time you decide to "joke" around – do me a favor – do it far away from me." Jimmy stated as he glared at Spinner. His new set of wheels was Spinner's fault – did Spinner really think a couple of sorry's were going to change what he had done?

Thanks to Spinner's confession last year, he now knew why Rick had targeted him, and in a way, Jimmy could understand why Rick did it. After all, they were in the same situation – both of them were betrayed by someone they thought was a friend. Rick had thought he had been betrayed by Jimmy, after they had finally reached some kind of understanding, and Jimmy had been betrayed by someone he thought was a friend – his best friend had set him up to be shot. That sense of betrayal still lingered with him – even after he cut Spinner out of his life.

But cutting someone out of his life didn't necessarily mean he didn't feel a loss. No matter how much he tried to deny it, he felt the loss of his best friend – there were so many moments in time when he was sitting alone in his apartment, when he instinctually thought to himself – maybe I'll call Spinner over to hang out. Then he remembered what Spinner had done to him.

"I'm sorry I ruined your life Jimmy. I'm so sorry. I never meant for this to happen. I never meant for any of this to happen. I didn't mean to ruin your life." Spinner said, as he placed his head in hands, with tears running down his cheeks.

Those words echoed through is head. Is his life really ruined? Jimmy refused to think of it that way. His life wasn't ruined – that implied that he was defeated. And Jimmy Brooks refused to act like the very real possibility of living his entire life as a paraplegic would defeat him. Because it wouldn't. His life would go on – he would go on. His life didn't end when Rick shot him – his life wasn't ruined, as Spinner had said. The only thing that had really happened was that his life had changed forever – not a good thing, not a bad thing, just change. Jimmy accepted that change happened – that's the way life works.

Jimmy looked over at Spinner, with his head in his hands, crying. He actually felt bad for Spinner. However, he couldn't forgive him. Spinner, as usual, just didn't get it. His anger really wasn't all because of the wheelchair – Jimmy realized that Spinner never intended for that to happen. His real anger at Spinner stemmed from something else.

"Spinner – you just don't get it, do you?" Jimmy asked, as Spinner pulled his head out of his hands and gave Jimmy a confused look.

"You betrayed me, man. You were my BEST FRIEND, and what did you do? You told Rick I had dumped paint and feathers on his head – what did you think he was going to do?" Jimmy said.

"I never thought he would bring a gun." Spinner replied, with sorrow in his eyes.

"So what. That doesn't matter -- you still set me up! Your so-called best friend. It doesn't matter that you didn't know what Rick would do – in the end it still comes down to the fact that you set up your best friend!" Jimmy said, as he glared at Spinner. There, he had said it. Spinner had betrayed him, and he could never forgive him for that. Jimmy just didn't think he had it in him to forgive Spinner for this betrayal.

Spinner still stared at Jimmy, with tears running down his face, and regret showing in his eyes. He said nothing. Surprisingly, someone else spoke up.

"It wasn't his idea. Do you really think SPINNER would be smart enough to think of that story to cover his ass?" Jay stated, from where he was sprawled in his chair with his sunglasses covering his eyes. "The best he could probably come up with would be that aliens did it or something."

Jimmy glared at Jay, but listened to what he said.

"What do you mean?" Toby asked, speaking up for the first time in a while.

"What do you think I mean, ge—" he paused for a moment as he looked at Ms. Sauve, sitting there, listening to the students talking – "Toby?"

"What I THINK he means is that he told the story – Spinner probably just followed along. He's good at that – convincing people to do things they wouldn't ever think of doing normally." Emma said, with a well-placed glare at Jay.

"And SOME people have trouble admitting that I couldn't convince them to do anything they didn't want to do." Jay stated, pushing his sunglasses back on top of his head, and giving Emma a very intense look with his blue eyes.

Jimmy watched as Emma looked away, and wondered what was going on between those two. He vaguely remembered hearing some rumors about Emma last year – that she had been seen at the Ravine, a well known hook-up place that Jay had apparently been known to frequent while Alex was busy elsewhere – but Jimmy stopped that whole train of thought. What he had started to think just couldn't be what was going on between those two. Emma was so much better than someone like Jay, and he had never really thought all those rumors about Emma were true in the first place.

"He's right. It doesn't matter if it wasn't my idea in the first place – I went along with it, didn't I? I'm so sorry, Jimmy. I just didn't think – I was so mad at you because of our argument, and when Jay started going on about how it was you – how it had to be someone on the inside – I just went along with it. The worst I thought would happen would be he'd tell Raditch or something, and make a fool of himself, because there was no proof against you. I never thought he'd bring a gun. I never, never thought he'd bring a gun." Spinner said.

"So what, Spinner? In the end, it doesn't matter what you thought would or wouldn't happen – in the end it all comes down to what did happen. You betrayed me, you lied to Rick, Rick brought a gun,
Rick shot me and I'm paralyzed. That's what happened, and you saying you're sorry just isn't going to make it go away. I understand how Rick must have felt – he thought someone who was his friend had betrayed him – that I had humiliated him in that one moment where he had a chance to be a star. I understand – because that's what happened to me. I was betrayed by someone I thought was my friend, too, and it's not a good feeling." Jimmy said, as he looked at Spinner, who was still sitting there, with tears in his eyes.

"I was your friend – I am your friend, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry that it happened, I'm sorry that it's my fault. I'm sorry that it's you and not me in that chair, and I'm sorry that all I can say is that I'm sorry, and even then I know that isn't enough. That will never be enough." Spinner said, as he put his head on his desk.

Jimmy said nothing at all, as he looked at his former best friend, and realized something. Spinner was right – all he could say was that he was sorry – it was up to Jimmy to forgive him, and himself for what had happened. Because in his own way, Jimmy was just as guilty as Spinner of bullying Rick – he'd just stopped a little sooner. The biggest question Jimmy had to ask himself was --who was his unwillingness to forgive hurting the most? Spinner, or him?