Solaris: -trying to get dirt, paint, andgunpowder out from under her fingernails- Well, unless the narrator dude is one of the undead, he's in the ground to stay this time. Here's chapter 3, hope you like it! Standard disclaimers apply. I don't feel witty today.
Chapter 3: Kurama Wakes and Other Stuff Happens
"Whoa… equilibrium…" Kurama said quietly as he woke up.
"Kurama, I wouldn't look down if I were you!" Foxglove warned. Kurama ignored her, and looked to see a vat of boiling oil.
"No wonder I felt so light-headed. Where's Solaris? Who did this?" he asked.
"No wonder Joshi thought you two were lovers. She asked about you first thing too." Hiei sighed.
"She was taken away for a wedding." Kuwabara said, being useful (for a change!) (A/N: I've said it before, but I'll say it again: Sorry for my bashing. He's got honor and principles and I think that's cool, but he's an idiot.)
"He threatened her. I think she was crying as she left." Yusuke sounded contemplative, almost unsure, but he cleared up the matter.
"He'd have to have. As I recall, she hated him with every bit of her soul." Kurama nodded, surprisingly calm for being suspended over the Makai version of a deep fat fryer.
"She does. She spit at him and told him to go to hell." Foxglove said. Just then, the door burst open. Solaris walked in, a bridal kimono on her lithe frame.
"Guys, I have the keys, and I swiped a knife from the kitchen. I'll have you free in a few seconds!" she said, unlocking the chains on Hiei's wrists and ankles first and then cutting the ropes the held Foxglove. As soon as she had finished unlocking the stocks, she issued a warning: "Joshi's bound to look for me soon. So if he comes in here, act like you're still imprisoned. Sorry I couldn't slice the ropes all the way, Foxglove. And the slightest tug will free you, Hiei. Guys, the lock only looks latched, it's really open. Get free as soon as possible, I leave Joshi's fate up to you."
"Probably not the time to say this, but you look good, Solaris." Kurama said, then apologized. "Sorry, that was Youko. But I must agree."
"Kurama! I can turn down the heat on this junk and free you easily! I just can't hide it…" she said, quickly piling ashes on top of the flames.
"You'll get your kimono dirty that way. Naughty little fox." Joshi said from the doorway. Solaris turned in shock, then flung ashes at his face.
"Eat this and go to hell!" she shouted. While Joshi was blinded, she handed Yusuke the keys and pulled a piece of chewing gum out of her small purse, replacing it with more ashes. She put the gum in her mouth and chewed rapidly.
"You bitch! Haven't you learned your place yet!" he shouted, then pulled her away by a wrist.
"OW! That hurts, you son of a… KURAMA!" she cried as she reached out a hand.
"SOLARIS!" he yelled just as the door shut and locked with a gooey sound. Foxglove tugged at her ropes, Hiei pulled free and cut the ropes the rest of the way through. Yusuke and Kuwabara broke out of the stocks.
"If you want your shoes to stay clean, I advise you to keep your feet off the floor." Hiei said. Everyone but Hiei and Kurama (who was still suspended above the oil) jumped on to the rack. Even though the vat was made of stone, Hiei demolished it easily with a swipe of his katana, then jumped on the stocks before the oil poured out. Yusuke handed him the keys and Hiei lowered the redhead to safety and unlocked the chain. Kurama looked at the oil slick, then spoke up.
"Everyone, just walk until we reach the door. No bolting, just walk." He said. They didn't question him, the oil was slippery. The door opened easily, and Hiei looked in the lock.
"So that was the purpose of the chewing gum. She gummed up the lock," he nodded; she was thinking on her feet, not blindly following impulses like she was liable to do. The hall outside was carpeted, and they ran until they reached a fork in the hall.
"Where do we go? Darn it, we need Youko!" Foxglove said.
-You and Solaris, sitting in a tree…- Youko chanted in Kurama's mind.
"My god! Poor Solaris!" Foxglove wept.
-K-I-S-S-I-N-G…- he chimed.
"She's too young to marry!" she cried.
-First comes love, second comes marriage…- he laughed. Kurama lost his temper, just enough for Youko to take hold. "Yes! Free!" he said, then his ears twitched. "I believe we have a wedding to stop… in this direction." Youko ran off, and the others followed.
--
"If anyone has any objections…" the priest intoned. Solaris began to worry.
-Maybe I should break out my mini mace…- she thought. Just then the doors burst open, and a familiar silver-eared fox broke in.
"I object!" he said, then swooped the foxgirl into his arms. "She's mine! All mine!"
"Youko, remind me to talk to you about that when I'm safe." Solaris said.
"What, no thank you kiss?" he pouted. Solaris pointed to the priest. "Oh. Right."
"How dare you!" Joshi shouted. Solaris broke free, pulling her purse from a sleeve of the kimono.
"Joshi, I hate your guts, I'd never marry you even if you were the last man in any of the three worlds, and finally, GO TO HELL!" she yelled as she threw a dash of the gray powder at him. It hi right in the eyes. Youko gave her just enough time to close the purse and put it away, then pulled her out of the room.
"What was that stuff?" he asked as they ran.
"A mixture of ashes, powder, and loads of salt from the kitchen. A little baking soda for good measure, and voila, mini mace! I so ought to market the stuff..." she smiled.
"This is too slow. Hold on!" he said as he picked her up and ran.
"Turn down this hallway!" she said. As soon as they had gone a little way, she told him to stop. "Wait here, I gotta change, I'll be faster then." She explained. He waited for about three minutes, then heard a struggle. Youko burst in to see Solaris struggling against Joshi, or more accurately, his youki, which he was using to pin her against the bed. His eyes were red as blood.
"Hurts, huh? Getting harder to breathe? Deal, 'Ame'!" he smiled evilly, using the only stage name he knew she had. "Once a thief, always a thief…"
"Not necessarily." Youko said as he knocked Joshi out. Solaris was released, and she lay there, gasping for breath as Youko helped her sit up. Soon she had her second wind and was ready to leave. First, however, she took the purse and two bottles of perfume. One she used to scent the mini mace, the other she handed Youko to put in a pocket. "Huh?" he asked.
"The perfume will irritate his eyes more, and the other I liked. Just a minute." She said, then lifted each eyelid and dropped a pinch of mini mace in each eye. "It'll hurt worse when he opens his eyes. I'll just be a second more." She said, then added more ashes from an incense burner and some powder, then shook it.
"Why do you women take so long to get ready to go anywhere?" Youko sighed.
"The wait makes it worth it. Now let's rejoin the group." Solaris grinned.
"Not so fast…" Joshi said menacingly, rising from the floor.
Solaris: A cliffie! The next chapter is the last. Please review! 'Til next time! –looks as the door breaks open and the narrator dude enters the room-
Narrator dude: Must… preview… next…
Solaris: STAY DEAD, DAMMIT! –throws a hand grenade… or 200.-