Disclaimer: I don't own FF VIII or any of its characters. This isn't true, just a wet dream on paper. Although... I could of swore Zelly liked manjinia... snickers

When masturbation's lost its fun

You're fucking breaking

Bite my lip and close my eyes

Take me away to paradise

I'm so damn bored

I'm going blind

Green Day (Long view)

Chapter 4: A dog in heat

Seifer's p.o.v

What's something that gets you off, but not as good as actual sex? Well, I'll tell you! Jerking off of course. Certainly not nearly as delicious as fucking that little punk into the mattress like I originally intended, but hey? What's a SeeD to do?

Especially one with a raging bonner that desperately needs some care. Fucking Zell, useless chicken wuss. Yep, him posing as a French maid, feather duster and all and bending over showing off his sweet ass and...oh that'll do.

Doesn't take long, if you can guess. I hate the mess, disgusting shit, but it has to be cleaned up. A dirty job, that wouldn't of even fucking needed cleaned up if...well, you know where I'm going with this.

And I hate fucking rambling. Shit, how many times have I said fuck in the last twenty minutes? Stub my toe-fuck, hit the dresser accidentally with my hand--fucking hell! Looking at my reflection in the mirror-double fuck!

My language needs working on. Aw screw it, if people can't deal with a few curses, then they're just some fucking pussies. Like Squall, taking my fuck toy away.

Mine! You hear me you little shit! Had 'em where I fucking wanted him and then you come along, waving your dainty little hand and of course, a dog never disobeys its master right? Fuck you!

Raking a hand through my devilished (but still incredibly silky) locks of hair, I decide to do better things with my time. Better as in how exactly? Better as in walking around the training facility and trying to kill shit.

Yeah, that's kinda better. So fucking sue me, and no, I'm not being pouty. If I was pouty, then I'd be sulking, which I am most certainly not. Understand?

Of course you do. Because I sure as hell don't.

I understand my life sucks. But I've already explained that. A lot. Till the point where if I say it again, my fucking head will explode into tiny angry puffs of slime. Gross eh?

Man, with my gunblade and my shit-cool trench, the animals are fucking dust. One after another, agonizing screams and groans as I cut them open, moving faster and harder and not stopping until I have a pile of mutilated organs at my feet. Fuck. Intense much?

Because if I have to open my eyes one more time and envision Leonheart fucking the shit out of Dincht, I'll scream so fucking loud the entire Garden'll hear me. And that won't be very pleasant, huh.

Not a question, of course it wouldn't.

I suddenly stop ripping apart monster guts, stabbing the ground with my weapon and holding it there. I hear a moan, something that simply doesn't sound like a low lever useless pon to be fucked with. It sounds pretty goddamn dangerous. Usually, I'd stick around to find out just what the fuck it was, but I'm not in the best of moods to go exploring like Mr. Leonheart would do.

So I'm outta there. Let him and his group of cronies fuck around and get there heads ripped out by the creature.

What time is it? Ahh, I've spent more time than I thought. It's seven fifteen. Not bad, couple of hours improving my already amazing agility and strength.

But I'm still pissed off. Really pissed. How can I show how incredibly pissed off I am? Ah! I'll pay my dear friend Squally a tiny little visit, showing the same respect he so curiously graced me with.

Heh. Yeah I know I'm an asshole. I can't help it.

()()()-

"WAKE THE FUCK UP! I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE DOING SHIT NOW GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!"

Pound pound pound. The door was going to break sooner or later and the big dumbass would be granted access, leaving him with a broken fucking door. Two options, and before anything else destructive happened, he wrenched himself up.

Ripping open the door with a predatory snarl, he grinded out, "WHAT?" Making sure to shriek it in the other boys face. It was unusual, considering his voice never left its bored, quiet tone.

Seifer smiled sardonically at him, hands in his trench coat and an anger vein appearing in his forehead. "Took you long enough, dick wad."

Oh joy! Imagine how nice it was being awoken by the assholes of all assholes at what-seven-thirty-after having one of the best nights in ages. No, it wasn't very nice indeed and he surely wanted to pay the fucker back.

"Oh what the fuck ever Seifer, what do you want?" He steeled his face, running his hand through his dark hair. His annoyance grew when he could hear the moving of...something inside, and quickly closed the door.

When he glanced at Seifer again, the other boy was absolutely seething and quite curious to peek inside. And not just pissed-seething either, totally and completely out-to-get-blood seething to the point where his breathing was louder than your fucking voice. As in, ready to dis-em-bowl something-seething.

Squall shivered unpleasantly. Ew.

"What do I want? Oh, I dunno. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK?"

Seifer's smile was getting just a smudge creepy now, so calm while his eyes could be called storm clouds, fogging over with a mix of emotions that Squall could tell were not at all fluffy.

Fuck. He sighed. Twice. Twice goddamned it.

"Well, why don't you fucking explain it to me and quit your useless shrieking," he stated rather calmly. In control always aren't you Squally? The brunette sneered.

The blond pushed forward, crossing his arms over his chest. "Okay Squall, if you're really that fucking dense, let me be more obvious for you. I was about this close to fucking Zell," he motioned with his hands rather crude actions. "And then, you fucking come over and waltz in, disturbing both me and my little friend, his names erection if you didn't know. Surprised you can even get one--"

"Shut the fuck up!"

A fiery smirk, and Squall found his hands clenched into fists, wishing to ruin those lips that could produce such mockery. "If you're so angry about Zell, then that's your problem, but don't you dare come and insult me because you can't seem to get any."

Squall just hated how his voice seemed to take on a whole new pitch. Seifer didn't deserve his attention, much less his emotions. He didn't even show Zell a tiny bit of a smile, why in God's name should he be so riled up over that jackass! Unacceptable entirely.

So, like switching off a button, he turned completely placid. And Seifer raised a taunting eyebrow, although, if possible if more pissed.

"Why you dirty little fucking excuse for a goddamn SeeD if there ever was one! I can get some just fine, it's you who can't even get it up! And you know what, why the fuck should I even waste my time on someone as pitiful as you?"

Squall allowed himself a small smirk. "My thoughts exactly."

Squall walked back inside his dorm, giving something close to a grin when he heard a shrill female voice outside yelp, and then a dark curse given in response.

His attention then turned to the boy on his bed, who was in the middle of groggily waking up. The blond gave a sunshine laced smile, sitting up slowly, and moaning.

"What the hell was tha' all about?"

Squall, being fully dressed and Zell...well not, turned his head in privacy, especially when Zell actually realized he was completely butt-naked. He squealed once too.

"Nothing of your concern."

Soon, Zell got his pants on, muttering curses when he fell over the chair... somehow, and actually bit his own arm. Squall truly worried about him.

"But I heard Seifer's voice."

"So?"

Zell was getting a tad suspicious at Squall's tone, simply because Squall never had a tone. He acted almost...jealous. Hmm, that would be an odd turn of events, if Squall actually started caring about him and not just using him for sex.

Yeah, but that would never happen. Ever plus infinity.

He shrugged, grinning on the inside. "Well, I was jus' wondering. Don't get your thong in a bunch, scar-boy."

Squall glared at the nickname, subconsciously bringing his hand to the bridge of his nose, glaring again. "Whatever."

"Ever heard that expression, if you scrunch up your face enough, it'll stay that way?"

Squall almost glared again, but turned away, walking toward a near by mirror.

()()()-

Lunch was sure different now. Especially since Zell couldn't help the distinct feeling of being watched every time he scarfed down a hot dog. And now that he knew exactly who was watching him, well, that was just plain creepy.

Creepy indeed.

Every bite, he could hear a tiny ...noise in the background. Finally, he had enough. He sauntered over to the object of his annoyance, hands balled on his slender hips.

"What the fuck is up with you?" he asked, none too nicely. As he glanced into the older boys eyes, the memories from last night erupted inside his mind. Hot, needy and oh so delicious until it was stopped by his stormy...friend?

Friend. If that. He didn't need friends, he needed something to help his bonners.

Buuuut, that's probably all he'd ever be.

Seifer had stood by now, towering over him and somehow seeming more intimidating than usual. Intimidating? Fuck that, he would never admit the big turd was intimidating.

Seifer snarled into Zell's face, taking his chin and bringing it up, so he could search those baby blue eyes.

And then, Zell could feel his entire body begin to melt as their lips molded into each other. It kinda looked like they were eating each other's face.

Ewww.

()()()-

To be continued.