A/N: Thank you for all the feedback, you're all amazing! I was tempted to put a gorilla in this chapter, but decided to save that for another time. I am entertaining myself with the idea of McKay, Ford and Sheppard all wearing swimming trunks however... mm.

Chapter Nineteen - Crazy Things To Do

They stood upon rock, a great gray slab of mountain starting far below their feet and reaching up to disappear into the thick and heavy clouds above. The air was dense and wet, making each breath uncomfortable, driving moisture into the lungs. The stone was slippery and shiny in the damp. Thunder rumbled overhead, threatening further rain. A powerful, icy wind rattled across the landscape and crept beneath the thick, military issue uniform, making Sheppard shiver.

The ledge was small but flat, and large enough to accommodate all four team members. Ford, stood at the far right, was leaning forward slightly, looking down over the edge. A sharp, sudden increase in the wind buffeted him, his jacket billowing and he ducked back, his face pale.

"It's a long way down, sir."

Sheppard frowned deeply, rubbing cold hands together. "Where are we?"

Teyla tilted her head back to look up at the mountain behind her. Her hair hung thick and damp about her face. "I do not recognize this place."

"Me either."

"I don't think it does exist." McKay stood as far away from the edge as he could without becoming part of the cliff, his arms hugging his chest tightly. "It's a group game. The computer wants it to be a level playing field."

"So…" Ford paused, turning to look up at the cliff. "Are we supposed to climb it?"

Smooth and featureless, the mountain shot straight up into the cloud with no offer of hand holds or creases with which to ascend it. If Sheppard looked closely, he could almost see his reflection in its polished surface.

"We cannot climb," Teyla said, softly.

"So how do we get down?"

Sheppard turned back to the ledge. Below his feet lay a steep slope, and between the low-hanging cloud cover he could make out jagged, lethal looking points of rock, wet and shiny in the rain. The base of the mountain was completely obscured by cloud, a roiling mass of gray and black that seethed beneath them.

Realization dawned suddenly, and he tasted bile. "I think we jump," he announced, with a grimace.

McKay stared at him in horror. "You can't be serious. We'll be killed!"

"No," he replied, staring down at the drop. "Nobody dies in the game, remember, McKay?"

"That was just a theory," the physicist snapped back. "You don't know what effect this might have."

"We have all died in the game before," Teyla pointed out. Her voice was unusually quiet, barely audible over the wind. "No harm has yet come to us."

"Yet," McKay persisted. He backed further away from the ledge, his boots scuffing the rock beneath them. "I'm not about to risk my life on guesswork."

"We know the Ancients build safeguards into their equipment."

"But we don't know they're working," he retorted. "And we have no clue as to what this final level consists of."

"This was your idea," Sheppard snapped. Rain water ran down his neck and collar, making him shiver.

Ford shifted nervously, moving his weight from foot to foot. "Major, what if he's right? What if the final level of the game is death?"

"The guide said the aim of the game was to protect the players," he replied, trying to instill confidence into his voice. "It won't kill us. Besides, if that was even a possibility, don't you think some of the other players might have deliberately picked it? They've not been hanging on for the past ten thousand years in the hope of a rescue!"

"But if this does provide the exit, why have none of the Ancients in the game discovered it?" Teyla asked.

"Because they're being kept alive by the stasis chambers," McKay replied, miserably. "We're the only ones in a group playing room, that's why we were able to convince the computer to let us this far."

"It's playing by the rules," Sheppard pointed out. "And it hasn't lied to us."

"It can't." The scientist's hands crept behind his back and flattened themselves palm first against the cliff face. "It's not sophisticated enough."

"And if it were to kill us…" Teyla hesitated, "I would prefer this, than sharing the experience of the Ancients."

Sheppard flinched, remembering the screams of the Ancient woman who had tried to throttle him back in the room of stasis chambers. He caught a flash of red and gray against gold in the back of his mind's eye and shuddered, convulsively.

"We're not at that place," Aiden argued, his voice tight. "Are we?"

"No," he shot back, fiercely. "We're not. I think this provides us with a chance of escape. Believe me, I'm not thrilled with the idea of jumping either, but if McKay here is right, then we may have little choice. It's either that or die."

Aiden lowered his eyes briefly, then lifted them to look up at the scientist. "Doc, you're sure about what you said before? If a rescue team wakes us up, it could kill us?"

"It's a theory." Rodney's face was pasty white, his expression a mix of resignation and depressed fear, his eyes unusually dark and bleak. "But, ah, y'know, I've got lots of theories."

"McKay," Sheppard warned.

"Alright," the physicist snapped. "Yes. If someone from the outside interferes with the system it could easily cause a power surge that would make us look like the Colonel's Extra Crispy. If we don't get out of the chamber our bodies will die without food or water." He huffed. "Meaningless for me, I suspect, since my body is probably already in a hypoglycemic coma…"

"There's a chance Zelenka and the others could work out how to get us out of here, though, right?" Aiden pressed.

"Maybe." McKay pulled a face. "A slightly smaller possibility than the one involving the Major being right, that the only way to win the game is to kill ourselves on a suicide stunt." He ventured a quick glance towards the drop, and gulped. "I'm not sure I can do it, though."

"Oh come on, McKay," Sheppard jibed, weakly. "Everyone's afraid of heights. We're all feeling the same."

"It's not the height I'm afraid of," he shot back, "it's the part where my body is ripped to bloody pieces!"

"I am also afraid," Teyla admitted, softly. "But I do not wish to continue this game. I …" She paused, and dropped her head. "I will not go on doing this."

"No." McKay's voice dropped to a whisper, and he lifted one shaky hand from the rock to rub his eyes. "I know."

"Perhaps if we can avoid concentrating on the fall…" she suggested.

"That's exactly all I can concentrate on!" McKay's voice squeaked. "Throwing myself off cliffs – it's just not something my brain will allow me to do! Its sense of self-preservation is too damn healthy!"

Aiden pushed his weight onto the balls of his feet and leant forward a fraction, looking over the edge. "I know I don't want to play the game anymore but…" he paused. "This is the only way out?"

"The surest way," Sheppard stated, imitating certainty for the sake of his team.

"I cannot keep doing this," Teyla declared. She straightened, brushing wet hair from her face, pulling her shoulders back and lifting her chin defiantly. "If this is what we have to do to escape, then we do it."

"You volunteering to go first?" McKay asked, nervously.

"If needs be." She took several steps back from the edge, her body taut.

"Teyla, I should go first."

She glanced at Sheppard, shaking her head. "It is fine, Major. I am ready to do this. Besides…" She paused, her eyes flicking briefly towards McKay.

"A captain goes down with his ship." He released a hiss of air through his lips. "Or Major, in this case."

"I will be fine."

"Yeah." He hesitated, his mind running over other possibilities, other outcomes, and finding nothing. Teyla watched him, her expression curiously calm, until he gave up and finished, lamely: "I'll see you back on the outpost."

She gave a determined nod, then closed her eyes and took four long, strong strides up to and over the edge. She was graceful even in her fall, tucking her arms into her chest before disappearing.

Finding it impossible to breathe, Sheppard lunged forward, aware of Ford doing the same. Hanging over the edge he caught a glimpse of Teyla's shadow, growing smaller frighteningly fast, before it was swallowed up by the dense cloud below.

Sheppard strained, but heard nothing. Teyla never made a sound.

"Oh god, oh god." McKay was pressed hard against the cliff, as though desperate to disappear into it.

"It's alright," Sheppard said, fervently. "The computer won't let her die. She'll be okay."

Let her be okay.

"Right." Aiden shrugged, looking gray and sickly. "She made it look easy. I guess, ah, I'll go next, huh?" He glanced towards McKay, but the scientist had his head bowed and seemed oblivious to everything, muttering incoherently under his breath.

"Look, Lieutenant…" Sheppard paused, looking at his young – too goddamn young – second-in-command. Aiden was barely restraining his panic, his body tense and jittery, biting down on his lower lip and bringing forth fresh blood. His eyes were dark and determined, and Sheppard felt a rush of pride, before a sense of dread responsibility weighed him down.

"This will work," he told the Lieutenant, mustering all the strength and faith he could. "Piece of cake."

"Right." Aiden took a deep breath. "The Ancients always built safeguards."

"Exactly."

The younger man nodded, eyeing the ledge apprehensively. He took several steps backwards. "Just like base jumping," he said, simply, then closed his eyes, gulped, and ran.

Again Sheppard had to restrain himself from snatching at Aiden, from grabbing him and pulling him away from the edge. In a matter of seconds the lieutenant was gone, absorbed silently by the dark.

"Safeguards," he heard McKay mutter, softly. "Right."

He turned quickly, rounding on the frightened scientist. "They're fine," he insisted, desperately. "You know that McKay, you did the math. And as you keep telling us, you're always right."

A pair of pale blue eyes cracked open and peered at him. "That's true."

"Unless," Sheppard needled, "you're wrong."

"No." The scientist unfolded from the rock, pushing himself forward a fraction. "But it isn't that simple."

"No," he challenged. "Seems that way to me."

"Don't you get it?" McKay snapped. "The computer controls everything we see and hear, messing about in our heads any way it damn well pleases. It doesn't know what it's doing. If it wants to torment us by resurrecting every damn nightmare then it can, and we have no way of knowing what's real and what isn't. God, I don't even know if you're real!"

"McKay…"

"What if you're just part of the simulation? I mean, I thought it was Jeannie, but it couldn't have been, so how do I know you're not the same? That you're not just the computer that – ow!"

Sheppard removed his fingers from the scientist's fleshy arm and gave a macabre grin. "Real enough?"

Looking aggrieved, McKay rubbed his arm fiercely. "That wasn't necessary!"

He turned, looking towards the edge, sobering quickly. "You're going over, McKay."

"No. You can go. I'm quite happy staying right here."

"We both go or we both stay here."

"Emotional blackmail won't work."

"McKay."

Rodney dipped his head. Wind rattled around the pair, thunder rumbling overhead.

"Fine," he said eventually, his voice very quiet. "I always knew you had a Messiah complex."

Sheppard latched his hand around the scientist's sleeve and tugged him forward, feeling McKay resist every step. The rain strengthened, his uniform soaked through, his boots sliding slightly on the smooth rocky ground. After several staggering strides they both stood on the edge. Sheppard peered over, wishing he could be sure of his decision. Beside him, McKay squirmed, his eyes scrunched shut.

"This is insane."

"Probably," he agreed. "About the same as revisiting Afghanistan, or reliving Rodney McKay's School Days."

"Right." The scientist shivered. "If I ever meet an Ancient then I want answers. All their damn technology and it always goes wrong."

"You won't be the only one."

"No." McKay cracked open one eye and peered at the expanse below them. "So how do we…"

Sheppard didn't allow him a chance to finish. Taking a quick, snatched breath he strengthened his grip on McKay's arm and took a leap forward, pushing himself away from the edge as far as possible whilst dragging his friend with him. He heard McKay yelp, and released his hold on the man to pull his arms to his chest in imitation of Teyla, aware of the air around him and the brief, exhilarating sensation of flight.

Then they fell. The wind whistled in his ears, the cloud thick and suffocating, the air snatched from his lungs, a pressure building in his chest as he fell, the cliff and rock and ground nothing but fleeting shadows and smudges of darkness rolling and mingling in a dizzying array of colors. Then something opened up before him, a glimpse of something white beneath the cloud, coming up towards him terrifyingly fast. Sheppard barely had time to pull his arms over his head in a futile effort of protection before his body hit the thing and all breath was knocked from him.

Miraculously, the impact didn't kill him.

For several seconds he lay with his eyes closed, mentally examining his body and testing it for any injury. Deciding he was unharmed, he ventured opening his eyes.

Teyla's face hovered above him, her expression of worry giving way to one of intense relief. "Major. You're alright?"

He didn't answer for a second, drinking in her appearance, her healthy, if a little pale face and uninjured body. "You're okay."

She gave a small smile. "Yes, as is Lieutenant Ford. Are you?"

"Yeah." He blinked, cautiously. "I think so. For someone who just jumped off a cliff."

"You pushed me!"

He frowned, slowly turning his head to see McKay sat on the floor several meters away, an accusing look on his face. "You didn't look like you were going to jump any time soon."

"I just needed a minute!" the scientist protested.

"Right. Sure you did." Cautiously, Shepard pushed himself into a sitting position and started to take in his surroundings. The floors and the walls were white, and scored with black lines in a grid pattern. A stone bench ran across the wall behind his head, and a darkened window overlooked the back of the room. Thin, fading tendrils of white mist were evaporating into the air.

A grin spread across his face, and he felt giddy with relief. "We're in the outpost."

"It worked," Aiden said, crouching beside McKay. His eyes seemed bright, the tension and fear having fled and been replaced by an odd, stilted adrenaline rush. "But that was one hell of a trip."

"Not one I intend to repeat," Sheppard said, dryly.

McKay pulled himself upright, his hands patting himself down quickly. "Amazing I didn't break anything," he muttered.

"It wasn't a real cliff," Aiden pointed out, but he was ignored.

"Have you tried the door?"

"It would not open for us." Teyla glanced towards the exit. "We believe because you and Doctor McKay were still in the game."

Staggering slightly, McKay made his way across to the door, slapping his hand against the control panel. It slid aside promptly, revealing the corridor beyond. "Oh, thank god." He sagged slightly against the wall.

Sheppard stood up, shrugging off Teyla's help. "Come on," he said, picking up his pack. "What say we get out of this funhouse, huh?"

A/N: Phew, it's all over! Right...?