Chapter 7
"Josie dear, how are you this morning?" to which Josie like previously didn't answer.
"I wanted to ask you a thing," doctor said, "In your last speech with Doctor Fling you mentioned illnesses. Did you know she was ill?"
"Yes." Doctor Benjamin felt as a patient himself.
Suddenly Doctor Benjamin felt a sharp pain going along his spine , reminding him of what he always forgot while working, but it didn't go away like usual. It kept on pressing. He saw a worried expression on Josie's face, her grey eyes studying him.
She leaned across the table and kissed him on the mouth, surprising him and in a few seconds later he pushed her away, just as the pain was gone.
"Josie! I'm upset with you. The contact between patients and doctor must never be forgotten."
Josie's eyes began to swell with tears. "Yeah, that is the thing you forgot in your speech. What do you think it's like to spend all your life at a place like this. Sometimes I even think I'm crazy and I deserve to be here. Then along comes a friendly doctor establishing their friendly contact. All pretence. And if I think that there is someone who actually would care about what will happen to me… And you know what all along I know that they are seriously ill - dieing. At first they are awkward about my reactions, but then like all addicts they stay with me. Do you think after curing them they'd care? No I know they never did. Doctor Fling was both harder and easier. It is all about when to let go. I felt like I finally found myself a mother, but when the results came proving that she didn't have the cancer any more, she asked me to her office to tell me she was leaving. That was when she said that she never cared for me, that I was just another patient for her. I have known it then, she was old and fighting the illness made her tired. If she only had stayed she would of lived; but like others she left."
"I am a doctor in a way as well, in a different way. Once I tried to help a girl addicted to drugs - she was hearing voices. I don't blame her, there is quite a lot of the, but people like you don't understand as you block them out. I tried to help her. I nearly did, but the medicine she was assigned to driven her mad and eventually killed. The usual thing for it is to make the dose smaller, but I cleaned her mind and body that her organs in the end rejected the stuff leading to painful death."
Doctor didn't want to believe her, but he couldn't - she wasn't ill, she just stayed there from selfishness of doctors. Her feet on the chair, rocketing her body back and forward, embraced by her arms. She at this time as if forgot about him.
"But nothing happened, you shouldn't be here… I'll tell them that you are well."
"Doctor, when I said I couldn't figure you out, I meant it. They wouldn't listen to you. Just go along with it," she looked down to the lower part of his body, as if she knew that his kidneys were failing and that they weren't able to be transplanted, neither was a kidney machine was a choice for his type of work.