Chapter Two
As I laid down, I looked over all that had happened in my life. It seemed all a solid line that went from bad to worse. Life just was never kind to me. I would often pray to the stars above. Why? Why me? Why did all this pain have to be mine to bear, and why would no one ever love me? It seamed that it was hopeless and I couldn't take any more, like I would just snap and what happened after that didn't matter.
And just as I was about to give up hope along you came. With out really trying, you crawled your way into my heart. With a toss of your hair, and a smile, it seamed as if you were the only one for me, the only one who really cared about me.
But that was all fake. I mean, who could love a filthy unlovable beast like myself? There is nothing that I desire more than to hold you in my arms, though I know that it will never happen.
You are the thought that both eases me to sleep and wakes me up in the middle of the night. Even though you will never feel the same about me, that's okay. At least it is now. But when you are with another man it will probably kill me. It's a fitting balance that you are the force that can sustain me through all that could possibly hurt me, yet in the end it will be you that will eventually bring me down to my knees in a way that no one else ever could.
All I can do is treasure the time I have with you and dream, dream that some day in some world I can find acceptance and love from you.