Chapter 3 / Afterthoughts

My mind splits up in the darkness,

And I don't know what to do.

Who can I run for help?

I lay there…

I am so cold, unloved and hatred.

But light guides me towards the only one that could understand.

As Kate raced across the pavement, it was surely obvious where she was heading. The house looked pale yellow, almost cream-colored with a chocolate colored roof. The building was two floors high with one basement at the bottom where anyone seldom went into. The windows were wide and the garden was filled with the most exotic and most extraordinary flowers she had ever seen in her life, even though she had traveled half the world because her mom kept on moving from job after job after job... which quite annoyed Kate; she had always wanted to stay somewhere quiet and stable whereas her mother wanted a place to have wild parties and drink as much as she could. You see, Kate's mom was an alcoholic and she refused to get help, denying that she had an alcohol problem.

That's why they split up... Kate thought. And the night's outbreak of remorse cries flew back into her mind as she slowly walked up to the house door.

"I'm tired of you always coming home all drunk, admit it Shelly, you have a problem!" Robert exclaimed so fierce that Shelly didn't say a word. She knew that she screwed up big time. Yet after a few moments, she considered that he would never hurt her and spoke again.

"You... You're implying that I did something wrong, Robert?" She let out a hollow laugh. "Where is she then? Where's Rebecca? Don't you realize what's been happening? Why you've been always away on what you call "long business trips"? I called you fucking boss and he said there hasn't been a trip since last September! What are you playing at? I know everythi ---"

"Where's your proof you madwoman? And why is it your idea to go into other people's business?" Robert yelled back. But he couldn't hide it, he felt fearful; Shelly had struck home.

She looked downcast and then angrier than she's ever been in her entire life. After a few seconds passed, she said in a clear and hurt voice, "Because... aren't I your wife?"

And then she quietly told a shocked and very dismal Robert Johnson to leave her house and that she will send for his things later.

As the door closed, tears streamed down her face. She looked up at her daughter's bedroom door, not doubting that she heard anything.

And inside her room, Kate Johnson sat there, crying her eyes out. And her eyes lit on fire. She will NEVER forgive her mother for this.

Tears as big as marbles rolled off her eyes and onto her shirt, leaving a big water-marks on her new GAP shirt she got just last week. Kate stopped walking and angrily wiped the tears away from her cheeks, frustrated and confused of why her parents suddenly just divorced. She hated her mother for drinking so much and she also hated her father for his stupid affair. It was as if God was angry at her and Hell loathed her; she was stuck in the middle, feeling awkward and ugly beyond anything anyone has ever seen. She felt that Life presented no more meaning. Why was this happening to her now? What had she done?

"... Kate?" A familiar voice suddenly said in shock.

Kate broke out of her random thoughts of depression and tilted her head up to see who had just spoken her name. It was Matt.

"Oh Matt," Kate said in a broken voice as she jumped into his arms. "Everything's a mess and I - I ju- - I just don't know wha- what to d- do anymore!" Tears began to flow freely once again. She felt that the only person that understood her was her best friend, Matt.

Matt stood quiet for a moment, letting his best friend piece herself together and getting the whole story. She feels so soft and warm... He randomly thought. Wait... what are you talking about, Matt? She's your best friend for God's sakes! Stop thinking like that!

"... Tara's been horrible, calling ME a bitch when SHE'S the one that a whore! And my mom and dad don't help, they're divorced now." She said "divorced" as if it was some disgusting flavor that still remains in her mouth.

"Huh? Oh right..." Matt said, she felt like he was distracted and eyed him carefully.

"Are you okay?" Kate asked worriedly.

"Yeah, I'm fine Kate..." He assured her.

"Okay... well... how was practice? You sure got home early." Kate asked, changing the subject.

"Oh, the coach told us that we didn't need to do practice today; he cancelled it. He said that he was busy doing something else with the other teachers... planning some trip, no doubt."

"Whoa, that's cool..."

By now, Kate was all settled down. When she was around Matt, she knew that she could trust him and tell him everything. They've been friends for like, ever!

"Any idea what it is?" Kate asked conversationally.

"Hmm... it could be some kind of camping trip or a trip to Play Land!" He laughed. "I have no idea but you could ask Mrs. Stenning, she loves you as a student... teacher's pet." He jokingly laughed and unconsciously put his arm on her shoulder.

"Uhh... Matt? What are you doing?" Kate asked nervously as she took a glance at his arm. Was there something there? Would it hurt them? She turned her head briskly towards her left, looking around to see if a wild animal would suddenly ejaculate itself at them in a ferocious manner. But nothing was there. Kate had a sudden uneasiness that washed over her. Could it be…?

"Oh, I was... erm... getting something." He replied, breaking the silence. Thankfully, there was a magazine on the other side of Kate so he reached down and got it. "Yes, there it is... I was doing a bit of light reading."

Kate laughed; her laughter was all tinkled, sweet and loving; exposing her lovely dimples in the sunshine, making her radiant... God, how I love to hear her laugh... Matt thought.

"Umm… how would you like to come inside?" Matt instinctively asked as he caught a quick glance at his friend's distant face. She looked deep in thought and a sad texture formed in her eyes. He could've sworn that they turned gray for a second in those lovely, clear blue eyes of hers. But as soon as he asked, she reverted back to her natural state and gladly took his offer of a cup of hot cocoa.

Kate noticed that no one else was in the house.

"Where has everyone gone?" She asked curiously.

"Oh, they're on this trip to Sunshine Coast for a little holiday. They gave me a choice to come with them or not but… I felt like it would be abandoning my teammates during their biggest season." He replied humorously.

Kate smiled back at him, sharing his humor.

They arrived to his kitchen and sat down at the dinner table.

"May I have your orders please, madam?" He asked in a low voice, accented with some fake French as she took her seat.

She laughed. "Yes, I would like a cup of your finest hot cocoa please." She replied in a voice that would suite a Queen.

"Quick as a flash…" He exclaimed and quickly whipped up some hot cocoa for them both and sat down beside her. "… and here it is!"

As they were chatting about God knows what (they kept on moving towards different topics), fatigue overwhelmed them both and they both collapsed onto the sofa nearby. His strong hands wrapped around her protectively. It was quite comfortable. And Matt was enjoying every moment of it; how he could smell her hair that smelled of strawberries, how he could embrace her and how he could see her smile just before she fell asleep.

Kate, who had many sleepovers with Matt since they were toddlers, had thought nothing of it. She hadn't notice Matt's eyes flicker with tenderness only lovers had. As night neared, she slowly drifted off into a deep slumber while surveying the night sky through her best friend's window.

The night sky was scattered with bright shining stars.

And a worried mother rubbed her temple. Where has she gone?