Chapter 9 – Confusion

'She's a student. She's a mere student. Nothing else than a student. Will never be nothing else than a student.' A voice said in Severus' head.

'Then why does she have such an influence over your feelings?' another voice echoed back.

'And now she's mad on you because she thinks you've seen her naked.' The voice continued.

'So? I don't care. She's just a student', another voice talked back.

"Bloody hell." Severus muttered, opening a bottle of fire whiskey. Actually, he'd recommended the Headmaster not to put the charm between their rooms, but Albus had insisted that she would be safer so. Despite the fact Dumbledore would never recommend a relationship between a student and teacher, it seemed as he enjoyed putting them together.

'That bloody Gryffindor who makes your head spin.' A voice in his head told him.

"What the heck am I thinking about?" Severus mused. "That silly girl is only a student."

'Not only a student.' The voice echoed again.

In less than ten minutes, the whiskey-bottle was empty and he opened another one.

Suddenly a big brown owl came out of the fire place and landed on the couch, next to Severus. The owl bit his hand eagerly and Severus let loose the letter from the owl's leg. To his dissatisfaction, he recognized the owl as his Mother's. That could only mean bad news.

With trembling hands he opened the envelope and found a small letter written with flourish handwriting.

September 4th

Severus Snape

I am very sorry to tell you that your Mother, Amelia Snape, has been moved to St. Mungo's hospital yesterday. There was an accident at her home which made her heart quite fragile. She used a spell which hit back on her, and hit her heart. Her statement is now quite stable but she won't be able to leave the hospital in the upcoming months, since her heart is so fragile.

Amelia would really like to see you, as you are her only child. She's expecting you at Saturday. Please send me a note to confirm that you're coming.

Yours sincerely,

Jeanette Owen

"Damn that bloody woman. Damn her! Curse her!" Severus hissed. "Why does that evil woman want to see me? We haven't seen each other for years. She must be really sick of her life…" He muttered angrily. The last he wanted to do was seeing his Mother. The devil herself.

Without thinking more Severus poured another bottle of fire whiskey in to his now, intoxicated body. He knew he shouldn't be drinking like this. Really shouldn't.

'I thought you've quitted that habit years ago.' A voice, much like Minerva McGonagall's, whispered in his head and made him feel a hint of guilt before he poured another bottle of whiskey into his throat. Actually, he used to be dependent of whiskey before but luckily he got free from it. Now he just drank to forget the reality.

Of pure anger he smashed one of the empty whiskey bottles in to the fire, enjoying the sound of it. He squeezed the letter into a dented ball of paper and then threw it in the fire too.

After four bottles of whiskey, he couldn't do anything but lie down, with the world spinning around in his head. Finally, around 3 a.m., he fell asleep on the couch with the words 'Just a student' spinning in his head.

"Good morning, Sir. Had a nice…" Hermione stopped, looking shocked at her professor, who was sleeping on the couch, with three whiskey bottles next to him. It wasn't hard to figure out what he'd been doing last night.

Hermione yawned and glanced at the window. Sun! She couldn't help but smile, sun always made her in a good mood.

Her eyes returned to the sleeping professor. She'd never seen him looking to peaceful before, though it probably was because of the whiskey. But why the hell had he been drinking so much? He had told her he wasn't dependent of whiskey anymore. She ran a hand through her hair nervously and sat down on the couch opposite to the one Severus lay in.

Suddenly Severus sat up, glaring at her confused, looking very dizzy.

"Severus?" Hermione asked, looking rather worried, her professor didn't look like normal.

"Hello dear. Salut! Hola! Ciao! I am very very veeery good at languages." Severus greeted jerkily, sounding like a 2-year-old who had just said his very first words.

"Professor? Do you have a headache?" Hermione wondered, trying to figure out if he was as drunk as he seemed.

"Oh yeah. I've a terrible headache. My dear, how old are you? Are you horny? You wanna have sex? I totally love you." Severus chuckled.

"How dare you speak to me like that?" She shouted, looking rather scared. 'Who knows what the hell he's capable to do now?' she thought nervously. She needed to get him an anti-hangover potion, and that fast. 'Maybe he has some in one of the book shelves?' Hermione thought, looking at one of the shelves, which was filled of potions. She stood up and started looking for a potion to get rid of her professor's hangover.

"What the hell are you doing, girl?" Her professor's voice interrupted her.

Ignoring his question, she continued the searching. After ten minutes she found was she was looking for. At least it seemed to be the right one, the label was "For hangovers, only in emergency use". 'Anyway, this is nearly an emergency', she thought, handing over the potion to Severus who was babbling about everything and nothing.

"Here, drink this." She offered him the bottle.

"Whatever you want, my love." Severus answered, emptying the whole bottle.

Hermione couldn't take her eyes off him for the following minute.

"Hermione, if I may ask, what is so bloody interesting that you're staring at me without blinking?" Severus ice-cold voice interrupted her.

"Excuse me, Sir?" Hermione muttered. "You were totally bloody drunk and…" She began explaining.

"Enough. Stop lying. Why…" His voice disappeared as he saw the small bottle in front of him. The bottle Hermione made him drink. 'How the hell could I lose my mind so much that I started drink that much… It was ages since I was drunk. And now she's seen me drunk. What the fuck will she think about me now? That I am a completely bastard who can't control me? Probably. And why did I drink? I must remember something from last night. Wait, I got a letter, didn't I? Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Mother.' Severus thought, thinking back of last night. "Miss Gr…Hermione. I…um.. I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry if I said something that made you upset with me. I'm sorry that you had to witness me being drunk. I also do feel that I must apologize if I did, err.. You know... something to you." He said in a not usual Snape-way.

"Oh, well. It's okay. You didn't do anything to me. Actually, I just came in here ten minutes ago, I found you on the sofa, sleeping. Then you woke up and talked in a strange way. You asked me to have sex with you, actually. And called me… Anyway, I started looking for a potion to clear up your mind and found that one which I made you to drink." Hermione said dryly, pointing on the small bottle in front of Severus.

"Miss Granger, please do not talk about this with anyone. I assure you it won't happen again."

"As you wish, Sir." Hermione shrugged, looking slightly confused.