Bounty Hunter Diaries

Chapter 6: Relena Darlian Clears A Few Things Up

Rated PG-13 for Pirate-like cursing.

Disclaimer: As much as I would love to be able to lay claim to Duo Maxwell (heh heh) I can't, because the only thing I currently own is my Kenshin plushie, and even he's licensed! Long story short, Gundam Wing in owned by other people.

A/N: Thanks thanks for all the positive feedback I've gotten so far! You guys rock!

I woke up this morning with a throbbing headache. My alarm clock said 7 a.m. and I cursed, loudly. I am one of those unfortunate people who, once awakened, cannot go back to sleep no matter how tired I am. I rubbed my eyes and looked around the room owlishly. What had woken me up? The sound of the front door slamming. Duo had left.

After three games of Gin Rummy, he had called Sally at the hospital and she had given me permission to go to bed, which was a relief, since I was practically asleep, anyway. I'm not sure of the exact nature of her conversation with Duo, but his face went through several interesting expressions before settling on amused. He hung up on her in mid-tirade and ordered me to sleep, which I was happily doing when the jerk slammed my door and woke me up. I'd only had four damn hours of sleep.

As I lay in bed, all of the previous day's frustrations and irritations came back full force. I cursed again (I was beginning to sound like Wufei) and reluctantly dragged myself out of bed. When I was feeling this low, there was only one cure.

////////

"It's a little early for a hot fudge sundae, isn't it?" Relena, the R in the R & C café cocked an eyebrow and smiled at me.

I swallowed my mouthful of ice cream and sighed. "It's a long story." I said, scooping up a huge spoonful of fudge. She looked around the restaurant, which at 8:00 a.m. was nearly empty, the early morning breakfast crowd having left. Another waitress stood drumming her fingers on the counter, staring into space. "I think I've got time." She said, sliding into the booth across from me.

I licked the fudge off the spoon and went for the maraschino cherry that was half buried in a whipped cream and nut avalanche.

She rested her elbows on the table and propped her chin in her hand. "This has to do with Duo, doesn't it?" She asked sagely.

I blinked. "How did you…?"

"You're not the first woman to consume mass quantities of chocolate over him." She said wryly. "He tends to bring out that kind self-destructiveness in a woman."

I laughed and put down my spoon. "I am an idiot." I said with feeling. "I mean, I barely know the guy five minutes and I'm having impure thoughts about him and then, he goes out of his way to help me and I get mad when he doesn't try to have his way with me!" I shook my head.

Relena grinned. "Hilde, there's not a day that goes by that I don't have an impure thought about him, I personally think it's some sort of pheromone he produces or something." She shrugged. "But why were you mad at him? Because he acted like a gentleman?"

I ran my finger around the rim of the bowl to capture errant fudge. "Well…I guess…and it's really stupid, but, it was like he was leading me on." I licked the chocolate mess off my finger, realized what I had just said and laughed out loud. Relena joined me. After a few moments, we were still giggling together like schoolgirls.

"Hilde, can I tell you a secret?" Relena asked, wiping some tears of laughter off her face.

I nodded.

"Duo's reputation is mostly undeserved." She said with a small smile. "I know people think he wakes up with a different woman every morning, but it's just not true. He had a wild couple of months or so a few years ago and ever since then, he's had this reputation as a ladies' man."

"How do you know?" I asked curiously.

"Duo and I go way back. He was a friend of my brother's." She replied, eyeing the door as the bell chimed. The other waitress moved to greet the customer and she relaxed.

"Was?" My curiosity was piqued.

"Most definitely past tense." She confirmed. "I don't think Zechs would so much as spit on him now."

"All right, spill it Relena." I said.

She nibbled on her lip for a moment. "Oh, what the hell, it's not like it's a state secret or anything." She leaned forward conspiratorially. "My brother, Zechs is a cop, a detective, actually. He and Duo used to be partners."

"Duo was a cop?" My eyebrows met my hairline.

She nodded. "Duo and my brother were partners together, both lieutenants being primed for a fast move up, but then there was this scandal…something about bribery and police brutality and Duo got caught up in it. So did my brother, actually. But he was cleared. Duo wasn't. They forced him to resign."

"Wow." I said. "I guess your brother thinks Duo's guilty?"

She nodded. "For such a great detective, Zechs sure has failed to see the obvious on this one. I know Duo isn't guilty, most people think it was a set-up, but my stupid brother is too pig headed to listen."

"What about Heero and Quatre? I noticed some bad blood between them, or at least some animosity." I couldn't help asking her, I really wanted to know.

"They were all friends, the three of them went through the Academy together but Heero thinks like my brother. Quatre probably doesn't, but he's Heero's partner, so he keeps his mouth shut." Relena shook her head. "Men can be so stupid."

I nodded. "I wonder who set him up…and why?" I pondered aloud, not really expecting an answer.

"Probably Trieze Khushrenada." Relena replied blithely. "Not too long after Duo was fired, he got caught accepting bribes and a lot of people think he was the one who was guilty, not Duo."

I sat up when Relena said the name. "Isn't he the guy…"

Relena nodded. "He jumped bail. Last year he was arrested for weapons and drugs possession, with the intent to distribute, but then he disappeared. Duo's looking for him, and so are the cops."

I shook my head. "This is complicated." I said, another massive understatement by Hilde Schbeiker.


Relena sighed. "It is. But what makes me so mad is that it doesn't have to be. If Heero and my brother would just get their heads out of their asses, then they could be working with Duo to find Treize. Instead, all three of those morons are working against each other and Khushrenada is probably taking advantage of the chaos to slip away."

I blinked. "You could be a detective, Relena." I said with a small shake of my head.

She laughed. "I made it half way through the academy before I discovered that I hated shooting guns. That's a bit of a handicap for a cop, don't you think?"

/////////


Relena was kind enough to treat me to another hot fudge sundae, but since she hated seeing me eat alone, she joined me with one of her own. We mostly just gossiped and she filled me in on the enigma that is Duo Maxwell. After I finished stuffing my face, I fairly skipped down the two blocks to Wufei's to present my body receipt.

I walked, rather than drove not just because Wufei's was only two blocks away and I had just eaten two hot fudge sundaes, but also because the less time spent in the Wreck, the better. My mother, true to her word, had dropped the tin can masquerading as a car off that morning, while I was in the shower.

I had driven it, coughing and sputtering smoke, the muffler having long since gone to the Pep Boys in the sky, downtown to Relena's to wait for Wufei to open shop.

Dannie beamed when I handed her the slip. You'd think she was my mom and I was handing her a report card with straight A's. "Your first apprehension, and in only one day!" She said, looking a bit misty eyed. I half expected her to whip out a camera or something.

Instead, she whipped out a checkbook, which I vastly preferred, and wrote out a check for $2,000.00

As she handed me the check, she grinned at me conspiratorially. Her lipstick that day was a bright cotton candy pink, which clashed horribly with her hennaed hair. "I heard about your little adventure last night. Wufei came in this morning, looking like shit. I guess Sally really let him have it when she got home last night."

I felt a slight twinge of guilt, but not Dannie, who looked as though she had gotten everything she wanted for Christmas.

As I really didn't want to face an irate Wufei, I thanked her and booked it to the bank. I spent the rest of the day paying off debts.

My landlord looked at me suspiciously as I handed him a wad of cash to pay for last month's and this month's rent. "I don't want any drugs in my building." He said, with narrowed eyes.

I shook my head. "No sir, no drugs. I just thought cash would be better than a check."

He grunted. "Especially since your last one bounced." He pocketed the cash and walked away, his giant ring of keys jingling nosily.

I had just enough left over to get my phone turned back on and buy some groceries.

//////////


God, I can't tell you what having a fridge full of food did for my mood. I hummed, I sang, I might have even done a little dance, but I really can't recall.

I do remember, however, exactly what I was doing when my doorbell rang at around 10:00 that night. I was eating a Swanson's chicken potpie and flipping through a shoe catalogue, two of my favorite things to do. Honestly, some people swear by Marie Callendar's pot pies, but let me tell you something, Marie's got nothing on Swanson's.

Anyway, I was lusting after a pair of black stiletto heels, politely referred to as 'fuck me pumps' by my cousin Sally (pardon my French and hers) when the chime of my doorbell interrupted me. I sighed, took one last bite of my pie and trudged to the door. I wasn't expecting anyone, and my rule has always been that uninvited guests are uninvited for a reason.

I peered through the peephole and saw one messy looking Duo Maxwell standing on my doorstep. Odd, since messy looking Duo Maxwells rarely show up on my welcome mat. I opened the door, prepared to give him a lecture on the proper use of a telephone, when I discovered that he wasn't just messy, he was bleeding. And I've watched enough detective shows to recognize a bullet wound when I see one.

"Hey." He said, giving me a weak smile. The guy was bleeding onto my welcome mat and all he could say was 'hey'?

"I don't want to know." I said, stepping aside to let him in.

He took a step forward and nearly collapsed. I caught him and dragged him the rest of the way into my apartment. "God, Duo, you need to get to a hospital." I gasped.

He shook his head. "No, no hospital." He grunted. "Just…just get me a first aid kit."

The request was so ridiculous that I almost laughed, except that he was dead serious.

I kicked the door shut with my foot and dragged him into my bathroom, where I sat him on the toilet while I rummaged through my medicine cabinet.

I found a half-empty bottle of Bactine and two Band-Aids.

"Duo, I don't really have anything…we should really go to a hospital." I turned to him.

He was gray faced. "No, Hilde." He grunted. "They'll arrest me."

I raised my hand. "I said I didn't want to know."

He sighed and slumped slightly.

I chewed on my lower lip while I waged an internal battle between the 'get the moron to a hospital' side and the 'maybe a hospital isn't a good idea' side. Finally, I sighed and shook my head. "Okay, just wait here a second, ok?"

He made a noise that I took to be a positive one. I ran out of the bathroom and to my bedside table where my address book was. I flipped through it until I found the number I needed. Thank God I had gotten my phone reconnected! I grabbed the phone off the charger and pounded in a number.

An irritated sounding voice answered on the third ring. God, was he ever in a good mood? "Wufei, I need to talk to Sally, right now."