Disclaimer: Lora and Randi are owned. Nothing else is. Thanks.

The switches are:

Randi X Lora, Catti-Brie X Jarlaxle,Wulfgar X Dinin, Regis X Drizzt, Entreri X Danica, and Zaknafein X Bruenor.

Just so it doesn't have to be confusing.

And, yes, a lot of people are out of character, but you can understand . . .

Part One: Chaos

Chapter One

In Which Everyone Discovers That All Is Not Exactly Right . . .

Menzoberranzan. Lovely. Terrifying. Hostile.

Home.

Jarlaxle, leader of Bregan D'aerthe, woke from a dark sleep of his homeland with a shuddering jerk.

"Ah!" he hissed between clenched teeth, giving his legs a kick. Without warning, a powerful jolt had struck through his dreams and had snapped him into reality. Cold, shocking reality . . .

Shaking his head into the pillow, Jarlaxle reached up - more clumsily than usual - to stroke his long, thick hair and huddle away from the chill wind beneath the blankets. He closed his eyes . . .

Than snapped them open.

Wait a minute. Wait a Lolth-damned minute.

He didn't have hair. And this was the Underdark: it was not supposed to be cold, and there was no wind here.

And since when did he have this odd feeling on his chest . . . ?

Jarlaxle sat up in bed, gasping. His hands went to his head, feeling thick, long hair. His hands went to his eyes, feeling them, noticing that they were no longer tilted but narrower. His eyes went dizzily around him, taking in the dwarvish surroundings, the table, the bed . . .

"Xsa." he breathed, and the voice . . .

He had heard it before, but it wasn't his . . .

It was female.

Jarlaxle sprinted out of the bed and out the room, staggering through halls and doors, completely befuddled. What was going on? What?

WHAT?

He nearly ran into a mirror. Gasping, Jarlaxle leaned forward studying the reflected.

He gasped, closed his eyes, drove his fists into them, and hesitantly opened them again.

Still the same.

No change.

Oh, gods above.

Catti-Brie, the human female, adopted daughter of Bruenor Battlehammer, stared back at Jarlaxle.

Jarlaxle stared at the mirror. He took a deep breath, screamed for all he was worth, and fainted dead away.

Over the world and under it, others were making similar discoveries.

Catti-Brie - the real Catti-Brie - discovered to her horror that she was now a black-skinned male drow with an outrageously plumed hat and no Icewind Dale in sight. Stumbling out of the room, Jarlaxle's bed chamber, she ran into another dark elf, who gasped at the sight.

"I . . . " she began in common.

"I . . . " he began in common.

They stared at each other.

"Who are you?" the male asked, looking every bit as confusd as she.

"I-I'm not Jarlaxle . . ." she stuttered, gesturing to her drow body. "My name is Catti-Brie . . . "

"Catt-Brie!" the male dark elf flung himself on her. "Oh, thank Tempus! Catti-Brie, it'sme!"

"Wha-?" she was still getting over the fact that a drow had just hugged her.

"Wulfgar!" he cried.

"Wulfgar!" she echoed. "How did you- what the- how did I- what is . . . ?"

"Jarlaxle?" a timid voice spoke, and the two spun humans in drow bodies spun around to see a liutenit of Bregan D'aerthe staring at them, mouth gaping. "Dinin Do'Urden . . .?"

Wulfgar realized what this must have looked like. A male member of Bregan D'aerthe hugging Jarlaxle . . .

He and Catti-Brie were spared the embarressment of explaining by the drow's body suddenly keeling over into a faint.

"But," she whispered suddenly, horror dawning on her. "If we're here . . . then who's in our bodies?"

Dinin Do'Urden, once elderboy of House Do'Urden,could not express his horror at waking to find his slender drow form had suddenly become a hulking humanlike one, a human one that was lying in a bedroom that was certainly not in the Underdark, much less Menzoberranzan.

Nor could he express his terror at stumbling out of his room to find Drizzt, his traitorous brother, and a halfling standing and gaping at each other in the middle of the hall.

"But . . . " Drizzt was stuttering. "That's my body . . . "

The halfling stared at the hated traitor. "And that's mine . . . ah . . . "

"Drizzt?" Drizzt asked, reaching out to touch the halfling's hair.

"Regis?" the halfling gaped at the drow.

"What happened?" they both burst out at the same time.

Suddenly, a scream split the air, as well as a thud. Both Drizzt and the halfling whirled around to see Dinin.

"Wulfgar!" cried out Drizzt-who-was-really-Regis. "I didn't hear you wake up . . . "

"Wulfgar?" Dinin repeated, confused. "I'm not . . . " then he remembered the human body.

"Did you switch, too?" Drizzt-who-was-really-Regis asked. "Drizzt and I appear to have switched bodies, you see, I'm really Regis . . . "

His voice trailed off as they both studied the barbarian.

Dinin was spared the pains of inventing a story to go along with this insane scenario by a loud, girlish shriek from the next room. Bruenor staggered out, looking wildly about.

"Drizzt!" he gasped, laying eyes on the drow, who was really Regis in Drizzt's body. "You . . . ?"

"I what?" both Drizzt-who-was-really-Regis and Regis-who-was-really-Drizzt answered.

" . . . am I dead?" Bruenor asked, staring around in confusion.

"No . . . "

Bruenor suddenly ran over to Drizzt-who-was-really-Regis-in-Drizzt's-body and seized him around the middle. "My son!" he cried out.

" . . . . ?" was the replies he got.

"Don't you recognize me?" Bruenor demanded.

"Wait . . . " Regis gaped. "Zak?"

"Zak?" Dinin-who-was-in-Wulfgar's-body mouthed.

"Who's Zak?" Regis-who-was-in-Drizzt's-body-and-currently-being-hugged/strangled-by-Bruenor-who-was-really-Zaknafein asked.

"Zaknafein Do'Urden!" Drizzt-who-was-currently-residing-in-Regis's-body answered. "My father! You're alive! YAYYY!"

Everyone gaped as Regis-who-was-really-a-very-happy-Drizzt began to dance around the room very, er, happily.

It was then that a newly awakened Jarlaxle-who-was-in-Catti-Brie's-body came around the corner.

"Where's my hat?" he muttered.

Dinin simply stared around at everyone.

"What is going on?" Regis-who-was-in-Drizzt's-body asked hopelessly.

"I believe," Drizzt-who-was-in-Regis's-body said as he continued dancing, "that we have all, inexplicibly, switched bodies with another person.

"I'm Drizzt." he continued, gesturing to his halfling body. "I have somehow switched places with Regis."

"I'm Jarlaxle." snarled Jarlaxle-in-Catti-Brie's body, not appreciating being woken up at such an hour, crisis or no."And I'd like to know what happened."

"My name is Zaknafein." Zak-in-Bruenor's-body rolled his eyes. "If you haven't already guessed."

"Daddy." Regis-who-was-really-Drizzt turned happy, sparkling eyes to Zak-who-was-in-Buenor's-body and flung his arms around both both Zak and Regis.

"Zak?" Jarlaxle's mood disappeared in a trice. "Abbil?"

"Nice to see you too, Jarlaxle!" Zak-who-was-oh-you-know-this-by-now grinned at his friend. He sniffed. "This is such a happy day."

"Jarlaxle?" Dinin-who-was-in-Wulfgar's-body asked, some measure of hope returning.

"Dinin?" Jarlaxle-who-was-in-Catti-Brie's-body grinned. "Another abbil!"

"DININ?" both Zak-not-bothering-by-now and Drizzt-read-the-last-one cried out.

"No!" Zak scowled.

"Not you!"

"I hate you!" Dinin spat at Drizzt (the real one in Regis's body; Dinin is smarter than he looks). "You were always so PERKY! Grrr! Lolth, I hated you!"

"Wow, you haven't read any of the later books, have you?" Zak asked Dinin.

"Well, you murdered innocent faeries!" cried out Drizzt-who-was-in-Regis's-body. "And it was all YOUR fault that a young, insane elf chick chased me all the way through a whole book to die at my blade!"

"Shut up, all of you." Regis-who-was-in-Drizzt's-body scowled. "So we're all mixed up. The question is . . . where are the others?"

Well . . . that concludes the first chapter . . .

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