Chapter 15 – Astonished

Albus sat at his desk with twinkling eyes. Seeing his potions master's changes was one of the most amusing happenings he'd witnessed in his entire life. He just hoped it wouldn't go too far. Certainly, it wouldn't be good if Severus entered a relationship with his student, nor for them or for Albus. The last he wanted to was to hurt Severus in any way, but if his glances at his student continued, he certainly had to do something. Though he didn't want to be the one who had to split the relationship if it ever became one.

'But he really deserves this.' A voice in his head chimed in.

"May I?" Hermione smiled softly, sneaking up behind Severus as he sat in the couch in his living room. She put her hands around Severus neck and caressed him, as to show what she was up to.

"You've done all your homework now?" Severus retorted dryly.

"I take that as a yes." She whispered and undressed Severus robe and noticed that he was wearing black trousers (she wasn't surprised) and a dark blue sweater over a white shirt. "I see you've put on more clothes since this morning." She stated.

"Indeed. I'm certainly impressed by your intelligence." He smirked at her.

"Hmm…. How is that undressing spell? Now I've forgotten." Hermione said.

"This one? Lamilus" He answered and with a swing of his wand, Hermione's robe was undressed and hung from the top of Severus' wand. "Muggle clothes, I see."

"Yes, that one. Thanks. Lamilus." She said and swung her wand and undressed Severus his sweater, very much to his discomfort.

"You know I just want to… see more of you!" She smiled at him and unbuttoned a couple of buttons of his shirt.

"How nice of you." He retorted dryly. "I'm so pleased." Severus rolled his eyes.

Hermione caressed his chest and once again that day, Severus was enchanted by her movements. "I knew you'd love it."
"Miss Granger, as to be the brightest witch of your age, you're really stupid sometimes. In this case, who doesn't like to be touched by a beautiful woman?" He smiled at her.

"You think I'm beautiful?" She whispered, giving his neck a small kiss.

"I certainly do." Severus retorted, nodding.

"May I… undress this garment as well?" Hermione asked, her eyes glimmering.

"If you find it more comfortable, then do so."
"As you wish, Sir." She said softly and pulled the shirt off him.

Severus' upper body was very muscular indeed, his shoulders much broader than she had imagined. Every muscle, from his arms to his chest and stomach, was lean and defined, yet not bulky such as those of heavy-weight champions. With shock she noticed that there were a number of scars adorning his chest, ranging from large to small and ending near his neck. On the left side of his ribs was a long deep slash, like a knife wound.

Hermione gasped. "I…How?" Was all she could say.

"I'm a spy, Hermione." Severus said and his eyes were suddenly filled with sadness.

"I know, but…" She caressed the scars carefully and noticed him flinch when her palms touched the big slash. "It does hurt, doesn't it?"
"Hermione, maybe it would be best, for both of us, if we…" He began speaking.

"No. When was this?" She asked and touched the big scar.

"One week ago. I'm sorry; it wasn't my intention that you would see it."

"Did he…did Voldemort do that to you?" She massages his shoulders slowly and noticed his tension. "Relax. I'm not going to harm you, you know."

"Yes, he did." He tried to relax and enjoy her movements but failed.
"I suppose he made the other scars as well?"

"Naturally. Hermione, I didn't want you to…"
"Are there more? On your back? Please say there isn't any…" Hermione mumbled.

"Hermione, I think it would be best if.." He began, but Hermione interrupted him once again.

"Stand up. Please." She begged, waiting for Severus to obey.

After a couple of seconds, he stood up, watching Hermione's reaction closely. His back was covered with scars, some of them new, still red, and some of them old, barely visible.

"I can't find words…" She panted and wrapped her arms around Severus' half naked body.

"It's alright. I'm used to it." He muttered, stroking her hair.

"Though the scars aren't enough to make your upper body look unsexy." She smirked.

"Miss Granger!" Severus exclaimed.

"Hermione?" She tried.

"Alright, Hermione…" He sighed.
"Does Dumbledore know about your…injuries?"
"Of course he does." He said curtly.

"Then why the hell is he letting this go on? You could die for fuck's sake!" She exclaimed.

"I know. My intention was that no one would miss me if I passed away…" He explained and sat them both down on the sofa. "Until you came into my life. You know, I've been thinking of you very much ever since you took your first step into Hogwarts. I've wanted to talk properly with you ever since that first day. But, I'd promised myself not to make a bound with any human again. Also, I do whole this spy thing for a good thing, I can prevent deaths of innocent people." He placed an arm around Hermione's shoulders. "Hermione, I've done so many horrible things in my life, there isn't any way for me to become a pure man again, at least not pure of heart. I deserve this; after all I've done… I can't make you understand me, but please respect me and my actions. The scars don't hurt all that much…" Severus added.

"Don't lie to me. They hurt. Otherwise you wouldn't flinch when I touch them. What kind of horrible things have you done? They can't be that bad, can they?" She gave him a kiss but he jerked away.

"I just want you to know… I can't stand this with you not knowing… Hermione… I've murdered a child. I raped her. I…I took her life. She w-was just a c-child. I still rape women… y-young girls." He stuttered nervously.

"Because Voldemort forced you?" She asked.

"Yes. If I hadn't been so stupid that I joined Voldemort, probably that girl would have been alive now. It was a test. Voldemort wanted me to show that I was him loyal. I raped a six-year-old for fuck's sake!" He raised his voice in despair. "There is no way I can make good for that, but I try to do my best…" Severus looked down, ashamed.

"So you didn't do it of your own free will?"

"Of course not." He mumbled.

"Severus, look at me." Slowly she left his jaw and made him look into her eyes. "I don't care about what you've done. I care about what you do. Obviously you regret that you murdered her and that's what means to me. The dark power can have influence even over the best wizards like you. You regret what you've done and that's good." She said calmly.

"Thank you." He gave her a passionate kiss. "I'd rather wear some clothes now." He smirked.

"Of course. Um.. Isn't there anything you can do to heal the scars?" She hesitated.

"No there isn't. They're made of a curse. I believe it's time for you to go to bed now."
"Please no. What about the spy training?" She smiled.

"Let's postpone it's again. You fainted today for God's sake. Go to bed now, no objections!"