Hi everyone!
I'm so grateful for the reviews! I've 110 now :D yippeee lol
I'm sorry this chapter is so short but my school started last Monday and I've already got loads of homework. I've also started writing a novel, and another SS/HG fiction which hopefully will be better and less out of character.. :P
take care
andrea xxx
Chapter 24 – Happiness
Severus scowled as he entered his bedroom. He was sick of this, sick of almost everything. The air in his room was musty, very similar to his present feeling. By a habit, he hung his robe on the hanger and put the rest of his clothes inside the wardrobe. Inside his head, he felt everything toss and turn which made it impossible for him to fall asleep when he had gotten into the bed. The feelings he had for the Headmaster were very different. From somewhere inside, he had always felt that Albus cared for him, but during the last months, the feeling had paled. In some other place he felt that Albus had failed him, he hadn't even noticed how he had changed over the last years. Or at least, Albus hadn't said anything about it.
Severus felt it as though he was torn apart, on one side he had Hermione, who obviously cared for him, and on the other side he had Albus. And worst of it, he felt as though he had made them both very disappointed in him.
When he realised that he wouldn't get any sleep, he put on his robe and went out to the living room. He pulled out one of his favourite books, The Lord of the Rings, and opened it. It was ages ago since he had read this one for the very first time. Unfortunately, not even Frodo and his tale appealed to Severus that moment. Frustrated, he shut the book and replaced it in the book case. Instead he made himself some coffee and almost choked when he tasted it. It was even more horrible than usual.
Whatever things Severus tried to concentrate on, he failed. What was even worse, he didn't know any solution to his problem. He felt as though he was walking around in a thick fog, where he could barely see his own hands.
Two hours later he was still sitting in the couch, now holding a pencil and a piece of parchment. He tried to write something down, but was too distracted to even see what he had written.
Many sighs later, he decided to go and check on Hermione. As quiet as possible he opened the door to her room and was very surprised when he found her sitting at her bed, meeting his eyes. After giving her a slight nod he sat down next to her, waiting for any reaction.
Slowly she raised her hand and caressed his cheek. She remained silent and Severus was very grateful for that.
Trying to calm himself down, he ran his hands through his hair time after time, until Hermione grasped them and held them inside hers, feeling the unusual coldness in his body.
She moved closer to him and awaited a reaction. As expected, he pulled away a bit and leaned on the wall. One more time, she approached him and this time he allowed her breath to caress his neck. Gently she began to untie the knot on his robe and slowly she pulled it off him without noticing any other reaction than the fear in his eyes. She wasn't surprised when she noticed that he was naked under the robe, but she realised that he didn't seem to mind. Her hands were placed on his abdomen and she touched it very lightly with circulating movements.
Severus shivered under her touch and gave in to her. Carefully, he lifted her hands and kissed them softly and then placed them on his hips. He closed his eyes for a couple of seconds and enjoyed her touch and her scent. When he felt her soft hands leave his body he opened his eyes again and turned to look at her.
Hermione smiled gently as she undressed her night-gown and then pulled away the cover from the bed. She waited for Severus to lie down and then she joined him, pulling the cover over them. Her smile widened when she felt him wrap his hands around her thin body. Naturally, she responded by doing to same. Not much longer they fell asleep in each others arms.
The first thing that came to Severus' mind when he woke up was safety. First he didn't know
where he was and he didn't really care because he felt so good. It was ages ago since he had woke up feeling like this. Next to his body he felt something warm and he snuggled closer to it. Suddenly his shoulder was touched by thick hair and he opened his eyes. When he found that it was Hermione, he smiled happily for the first time in many years.
"Good morning, love." He murmured against her neck.
"Morning, sexy." Hermione whispered back and touched his lower back gently. Her smile widened as she saw Severus smiling at her. She always found him beautiful when he did so.
Severus closed his eyes again and enjoyed the lovely feeling of being close to another human, something he hadn't felt for years. For the first time in ages, he actually allowed himself to open up and feel happy.