A/N I found this on one of my floppy disks when I was looking around for something, and wondered why I never posted it…

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Warnings: Yaoi, sexual mentions

Inspiration: The song 'Untitled' by Simple Plan

Notes: A letter to Malik, written by Marik.

Please read and review.

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Untitled

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I can't hide it anymore.

I'm jealous of the Pharaoh.

Why, you ask?

Who wouldn't be? …Except Yugi, of course. Now that I think about it, I suppose I envy Yugi as well.

Two halves of the soul share the same flaws, to a certain extent, after all…so yes, Yugi too.

And why shouldn't I group the brat with his dark side, as you, my beautiful hikari, are so often blamed for my mistakes?

Jaded s.

All of them.

So why do my insides writhe with boiling blood every time I see him, you ask? How could I possibly want anything he has?

Because what Yami has is mine.

The Pharaoh has stolen everything from me.

I knew that much from the very beginning of my life.

When I was fused together of your hatred, it became a part of who I am.

I will always hate the Pharaoh.

Not that he can't be okay at times, rare though they may be.

Like when he's drunk, for instance. That's most definitely the time I like him most.

That period when he's still getting drunk is just fine as well, when we happen across each other in a bar. We share some thoughts on our loathing for this life; similar, though from different viewpoints.

Then, when he's tipsy and willing to forget the world around him for a little while, I take him out on the dance floor and blow his mind away. The Pharaoh looks extremely good under all that leather… But of course, my grinding always backfires on me when I'm the one to get aroused.

I try to end it then, enduring his groping on me as I take him to the Game Shop on my motorcycle and speeding to my own home for a cold shower.

Not that there haven't been times I've given in to my lust, and brought Pharaoh back to the house with me.

We can writhe together all night, and it feels so good, but in the morning I always hate him again.

His body is one of the only things I am able to take from him, but when I remember what he did to me…I realize that him sleeping in my bed invokes revenge on no one but myself.

Then, I fill with rage.

I run out, dodging down back alleys and shutting off my link, fearful that I should one day accidentally hurt you, Malik, beyond all forgiveness in my blind fury.

I kill.

The wretched, worthless scumbags that crawl in the sewers, the greasy backstabbers who mutter in dark corners, the thieves whose knives flash one moment too slow…

I slaughter them.

For no thieves will ever matter to me, save two.

The Pharaoh is the first.

He is the dirtiest, nastiest, most clever thief I have ever laid eyes on.

His greatest enemy since the beginning of time has been the undisputed Thief King. And what does one do to overcome the King of Thieves?

Steal him.

The Pharaoh has stolen my love…right out from under my nose.

I need not tell you who the second thief in my life is.

Bakura.

A tomb robber, a murderer, and the only one who has ever understood me for me. For that, I fell in love with him.

…What a weak fool I am, in the end. There was even a time that I naïvely thought he loved me back.

Love is blind.

We would run off together, in the darkest hours of the night, haunting rooftops and slitting throats to let off our pent-up energy.

He told me things.

Things that no one else knew, that no one else could realize or appreciate. We had a deep bond, far beyond what that brunette's pitiful ideals of friendship imply.

But I made a mistake, and mistook it for a feeling that neither of us had previously been able to comprehend.

Love.

Feh.

The idea was as alien to me as the squeamish sensation in my gut whenever I was near him.

Now, too late, I have wisened up.

…I asked him for release, just to get away, and he consented. He had consented multiple times previously, of course, but this was different.

I didn't want him…I needed him.

You were gone, Isis was gone. The house was my own for the night, and we could have screamed however loud we wanted…

So of course, he complained when I was gentle, when I told him I didn't want it to hurt. I smothered him with my lips to quiet him.

He's so arousingly feisty. It was exhilarating.

I asked him if anyone had ever meant more to him than temporary escape, and he laughed that evil laugh of his, sending shivers up my spine.

"What's this, Marik? Don't tell me that you've been foolish enough to fall in love with me."

I responded with silence.

The sheets had twisted around violently during our activities, and were squeezing Bakura's chest to mine so that he could not pull away. He avoided my eyes instead, and laid down to sleep.

"…You're wasting your time, and I do not wish to hurt you. I am incapable of love, and always will be."

So ended our conversation, and he hasn't slept with me since…not that I can't understand his reasoning. He would never be so cruel as to tease me.

How wrong his parting statement had been, though, as he would find soon.

Instead of me, he took to going to Yami at night…for terrorizing, at first, and not much else.

Then you began to bring home tales of incidents involving the two of them at that school they accompany their hikaris to.

I paid closer attention now than ever to when they were in each other's presence, and as I watched them week after week, I knew what was happening.

The way their eyes so involuntarily lingered on each other's, the way Bakura's breath came a little short at those arrogant 'can't touch this' shows, the way his mouth went dry as the Pharaoh stretched and flexed.

He wasn't in love yet, but he was definitely falling…

Then came the day.

They kissed.

But that wasn't the bad part…

…The bad part was when they didn't let go.

I don't think he even understood what was happening.

He couldn't fathom the turn of events when Yami didn't push him away, but pulled him closer.

When their mouths opened wider, their hands explored further, their pants grew tighter.

When…when they realized that kissing wasn't enough.

They wanted more.

They wanted sex.

And so the one thing that I had given and taken from them both was now utterly useless to me.

I followed them, I watched them as they gasped and moaned together, hating Yami and hating myself.

Round after round after round, they didn't tire of their new exhilaration for hours, their tricks and maneuvers that they had learned while experimenting with me.

I could not tear my eyes away, no matter how badly they seared in agony.

At first I grasped the tiny hope that maybe Bakura would take me back if only I let him be seme for once, as he seemed to enjoy with the Pharaoh, but when he allowed Yami to take him in return, I was crushed.

Bakura had never kissed me so fervently, traced my jaw and gazed into my eyes before invading my mouth.

And when, after all was over, he laid awake for hours to gaze at the sleeping face of his partner and run fingers through his hair as I had done to him, I made up my mind.

Yami had to die.

Yugi had to die.

Ryou had to die.

…Even you, hikari, had to die.

A decision that ripped my heart in two.

Everyone would die, and then Bakura and I would be alone in the world with no one but each other to confide in, to love.

But then I thought again.

Bakura would kill himself.

Bakura would kill me.

Deprived of both his hikari and his lover, his best friend would not suffice, would not meet his needs…

…So I have decided to kill myself instead.

So shallow am I, doomed to die from a lost love?

Driven to slicing myself, in hope that I can find a greater pain to consume me than the one eating my soul?

I have always enjoyed taking the easy way out of my trials, and this is how it must be.

It will matter to no one but you, Malik, and for that… I am sorry.

That is why I write this to you.

I love you, Malik…in the way that only Bakura can love Ryou, and only Yami can love Yugi.

I don't think I would've been strong enough to kill you, when it came down to it…

And when I'm gone, your brooding hatred will be freed to float away.

…I know about you and Ryou, Malik, you couldn't hide it, so heed these words.

Love Ryou, and never let him go.

Especially not to Yugi.

Don't trip on my mistakes.

If Yami ever breaks up with Bakura…which I have already foreseen won't ever happen, but in hope that I made a mistake…murder the Pharaoh.

Make him scream, make him bleed, make him die for hurting the one I loved.

Then, and only then, will I be at peace.

Until I return to you, or forever has come and gone…

Love,

Marik

x … How could this happen to me? … x

oOo Owari oOo

Dedicated to Darkshipping, Psychoshipping, and everyone like me, who's in love with Bakura as if he were real.