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Chapter 25 – Everyone has a story

Hermione shivered a little as she entered the Headmaster's office. She had awoken just half an hour ago and was far from ready to encounter the Headmaster.

"Good morning, Miss Granger, Hermione. I think you know why you are here." Albus greeted her with his usual cheery voice although his eyes didn't reflect the same joy.

"Yes, headmaster." Hermione tried to keep her voice steady.

"I hope that you are not upset with me because of what I told you yesterday." He started.

"How do you expect me not to be?" Hermione looked straight into the elderly man's eyes with all the dignity she had. "As Severus expressed himself clearly yesterday, I am not a little girl anymore, but that doesn't mean that I will love to be told such things. I am so amazed that you kept it for yourself." The looked she gave him was filled with disappointment. "I am not upset with you; I am just disappointed in you." She added with a very mature voice.

"I understand that thoroughly. But still, I thought it for your own best. However, I didn't want to talk to you because of that."
"I see, Sir." She chipped in.

"I want you to listen now, without any interruptions."
"Yes." Hermione nodded to him to continue.

"I have known Severus since he was a little child. He has had one of the toughest growths I know. As I'm sure you know, both his parents were servants of Voldemort. Everyone in his family, including cousins, wanted to become a death-eater. That includes Severus, in the beginning. He was raised as a death-eater son, very much like Draco Malfoy and you can see in which direction he's heading. What's worth mentioning though is that Severus had a sister, Megan, who refused to give in to Voldemort. Severus joined Voldemort when he was 16 and as early as the age of 18, he realised that he didn't want to continue working for him. That was the same year that Megan was killed by Voldemort. Severus was devastated when he came to me that night. The only kind person in his life was killed. He had been trained to hate his entire life and the only person that showed him something else was Megan. You could imagine the feeling of losing the only person that you love. I persuaded Severus that there still were people wanting him alive and I got him working as a spy for the Order. I think that he felt that he wanted to make up for all the bad things he had done through the two years as a servant of Voldemort. When Severus was 20 I offered him the place as potions teacher and three years later he became head of house for Slytherin. We mustn't forget that he has always worked double, since then. For the past 21 years, Severus has worked as a professor here. He has managed to work as a spy for the order, as well as a spy for Voldemort in the same time he was a full time teacher and head of house here. And he has done it excellent. I can't find a more honourable man than Severus." Albus paused to take a long breath and to let the words sink in. "Since that night when Severus came to me, 23 years ago, he has never really opened up. I honestly don't think that he allowed himself to have feelings. I don't think he even wanted to feel. He shut the whole world out. The last five years, I haven't even got to know what's been happening on the death-eater meetings. The only thing he told me was the main news. He hasn't told me, probably he was ashamed. I have noticed that Severus has been on the edge to death for several years now. I have tried to explain to him that I care for him but he doesn't seem to understand. He's been pushing me away for years. You have noticed that he has been losing weight during the last year, have you not?" The professor asked her with his usual calm voice.

"Yes, I have…" She answered quietly, thinking of Severus thin upper body.

"Then, when this term started, I wanted him to be your guardian. I knew he would take on the job and do it with perfection. What I didn't know was that his thirst for love was even bigger than I expected. I am certain that he tried to play it straight but his feelings were denying him for the first time in years. He felt something that he had never felt this strong before and you gave it to him. Pure love. I think you both were in a need for it. What I didn't expect was that Severus would allow himself to feel it. You've done an excellent work with him. He wants to live again." Albus smiled warmly. "But, Hermione, you are young. You are 16, not of age and you're a student at this school. I simply can't allow a relationship between a teacher and a student. I don't want Severus to be hurt when you turn him down after you've found someone younger than him. Probably that will be soon. I think it's for the best that you two finish this now, before he will be really hurt." The headmaster became silent.

"Professor, I don't think you understand. I am grateful that you told me all this, but actually Severus has already told me about it. I understand what he has been through. I understand what it's like feeling that no one cares." Hermione spoke quietly but with dignity.

"He told you?" The professor said disbelievingly.

"Yes, he did. He has told me what he has done. I can't say I know everything about Severus, far from but he has told me some of it. Severus and I have more in common that you'd ever imagine. I'm not going to leave him for some stupid 25-year old. I want only Severus and you know it. Please don't tell me what I'm going to or not going to. I do respect you and the school hence the code of conduct. I understand that I am to be expelled and I accept the punishment. I'd do anything to continue my education here at Hogwarts, but if that means that I'll be separated from Severus, I refuse. Severus means more to me than anyone has ever done. Professor, I do know that there are 25 years between Severus and me, but you know as well as I do that that isn't a lot in the wizarding world. I know I will turn 16 soon, I still call the 19th my birthday, although I'm already older than 16. As you told me one year ago, I will turn 17 on Mars 28th, due to the use of my time-turner in my third year. I'll be of age in six months." She made a short pause. "I am not claiming that a relationship between a student and a teacher is acceptable. I just want you to understand that I am not going to leave Severus." Hermione finished with emphasis on the last sentence. She didn't know how this was going to end, but at least she knew that she still had her dignity.

"Speaking like an adult, Hermione." Albus said warmly. He leaned forward and squeezed her hand. "I suppose I have to thank Severus for having you here today. You saved each other, didn't you?" He let go of her hand and leaned back again. "I am willing to oversee you, which means that you will continue your education here and Severus will continue working as teacher of potions. You may continue what you've started but in absolute secret. If anyone discovers you, I'm afraid I will have to expel you and discharge Severus. I mean it."
"Thank you professor. I can't express how grateful I am." Hermione smiled happily and almost hugged the headmaster.

"It's alright, dear. You may leave." Albus smiled slightly in response.

"Sir, I just wanted to ask you something. Why do you force Severus to be a spy for you? Don't you see that it's going to break him and you also put him in great danger every time he leaves for a meeting? Do you even know that some of his injuries are chronic?" Hermione's face darkened as she talked.

"I have tried to explain that I don't want him to go through it, but he insisted. If you could persuade him to leave Voldemort, I'd be grateful. If he remains here at Hogwarts, I think he would be safe." The headmaster looked sadly at Hermione. "Was that all?"
"Yes, thank you." She nodded and left the room, feeling very confused. Her feelings were mixed, both sad and happy. She felt sorry for the impression Severus had about Albus and vice versa. Naturally, she felt happy that she would be allowed to continue both her studies and her relationship with her professor. To sort out her feelings, she decided she needed a hot bath so she walked down to Severus' quarters.