(Author's Note: Guy-on-guy action here, sorry. I'm not sure what came over me. Maybe I should stop listening to my gay best friend "Mugen must be gay… I'm sure of it" props, Wagel. Anywho, not much happens but there's an intense look at the sexuality of the "guys" so piss off if you don't like it. Oh, yes, and sorry about spelling "eleven" "elevenvenven" in the last chapter… too lazy to correct it.)

CHAPTER TWELVE

"I went from town to town, distancing myself from the city," said Jin quietly, staring at the fire. Mugen had had enough sense to roll a log onto it while Jin was speaking, so it had blazed up once more. The light flickered over his face. "For the first few weeks I went by an alias. Then I got sick of it, and went back to using my real name. It hardly mattered. By then, there was so much time and distance between me and what had happened, no one recognized me. And whenever I heard myself referred to, it was as 'that samurai with glasses.' No one associated the Enshirou-killing Jin with glasses. They were the perfect disguise. And I saw the world through them. After a year I realized I didn't want to just wander. I wanted a purpose. And what greater purpose could I have than finding Shenji? After all, the rest of my enemies aren't so… real, if you know what I mean. The Shogun, the Kariya-dono, the Takugawa… none are a single person. They're all just organizations. But Shenji is a single man, a single, evil man. He's something I can find, hurt, and avenge myself with. And that's what I plan to do."

He nodded firmly.

"Wow," said Mugen.

"Is that going to be your final version of your life story?" asked Fuu. "Or are you going to come up with something even more awful later?" Even though her voice was hard, her hands were twisting themselves in her lap, and her eyebrows were knitted with concern.

Jin smiled slightly. "That's it. That's all of it. There's nothing more horrible in my past than what you've just heard."

"Yo. Fuu," said Mugen. He grinned at the fire. "You know what? You picked out two samurai to help you on your quest, but you picked the worst ones possible. I mean, look, both of us are wanted by the Takugawa and the Shogunate and at least a dozen independent assassins each. You've got a couple of wanted murderers protecting you." He laughed.

Fuu smirked. "Yeah, well, at least I know you can get the job done…"

Mugen stood up and stretched. "Look, I can't really sleep. I think I'm going to, you know, take a walk or whatever. Jin?"

Jin looked up, as if startled out of deep thoughts. "Yes?"

"I said, I'm going to take a walk. You want to come with?"

"Oh." Jin rose and stretched as well; he'd been sitting in front of the fire for a long time, leg crossed (the other had been stretched out, of course), body hunched and motionless. He followed Mugen into the shelter of the woods, limping along painfully, and Fuu sighed. She went over to the fire and began feeding it twigs; she didn't think she would be sleeping either.

"So," Mugen trailed along, scuffing the toes of his geta against the ground. Jin walked after him, stiffly, lighting a pipe. "Can I have a puff of that thing? Thanks."

They walked along in silence. Mugen had to make sure he didn't walk too quickly; Jin had trouble navigating his way through the thick woods on his poor leg. Leaves crunched under their feet.

"Don't you ever feel weird, wearing that guy's glasses all the time?" asked Mugen finally.

"No."

"Do you think about him a lot?"

"Yes."

Mugen stopped and leaned against a tree. "Look… Jin…"

"Go ahead and ask it."

"You won't be offended?"

"No."

"You basically… okay, look, you basically lost your virginity to a guy. And I know you've been with girls and stuff, but… I mean, what's it like? Are you, you know?"

"I don't think so," said Jin flatly. "I think I would know something like that. I don't see how that… how it would change how I feel about one or the other."

Mugen shrugged. "I don't know. It's just… I sort of always thought you were."

Jin raised his eyebrows.

"No offense, but, you just seem so, you know."

"Self-controlled?" suggested Jin sardonically.

"Yeah, but not just that. Like you never looked at Fuu or anything. Or any girls. And whenever I talked about them, you just looked totally grossed out."

"I fell in love with Shino."

"Yeah, that was weird…"

"I'm disgusted by your lack of manners and subtly, not by the woman themselves."

Mugen looked up thoughtfully, hands in his pockets. "I guess that's the reason you're not so into it, huh? What happened?"

"Maybe," said Jin.

"Have you ever wondered, though? I mean, you're searching for this guy to… you know… damn, Jin, that's just weird."

"I'm not doing it as an act of love," said Jin coldly.

"Yeah I know. But it's still… kind of…" Mugen shrugged. He took a hand from his pocket, reached up, and began plucking leaves off the tree. "Have you ever looked at other guys?"

"Have you?" countered Jin.

Mugen laughed. "Me? What kind of question is that?"

"A good one, seeing as you're avoiding answering it."

"I'm not avoiding answering it!" said Mugen hotly.

"Yes, you are. And while I'm mentioning it, I might also point out you've taken me into the middle of the woods to discuss whether I look at men in the same way I look at women. I would say you're the one with the hidden motives."

He couldn't see Mugen face very clearly in the dark but had a good idea of what it looked like.

"I'm just asking, Jin. You don't have to get personal."

"You still haven't answered my question."

"You haven't answered mine, either, and I asked first!"

Jin smirked into the darkness. "I'll admit I was… confused for a while. Very confused."

"But you're not anymore?"

"You sound disappointed."

"Damn, Jin, stop it, will you?"

"I was only stating what I thought true. I'm sorry if I've offended you." Jin counted to three in his head before he pressed, "Well?"

"Well, what?" snapped Mugen.

"Have you?"

There was a long, long silence. Jin smoked; Mugen plucked leaves from a branch above his head.

"Okay… yeah. Maybe a few times. But look, I see so many girls, you know, sometimes I get bored and start wondering about other things."

He heard Jin snicker.

"Shut up! I've never done anything, I just wonder, that's all! I'm a curious person! And you'd better not tell anyone, or I'll kick your ass!"

"I won't. I trust you to keep my secrets, and I'll keep yours," Jin assured him.

"Hey, Jin?"

"Yes?"

Mugen paused. "You're my best friend."

"You're my best friend, too. I'm glad we met."

"I thought you hated me."

"I think you're the crudest, most unsophisticated person I've ever met. But you have several redeeming qualities."

"Like what?" pressed Mugen eagerly.

"Mortality."

"…oh." Mugen laughed after a moment. He walked to Jin, leaning against a tree next to him. He held out his hand; Jin handed him his pipe. They smoked together, passing it back and forth.

"Is there any reason why you wanted to know if I had questioned my sexuality, Mugen?"

"Just wondering."

"Like you wonder at men?"

"Shut up, Jin. I'll kick your ass."

"How old were you?"

"What?"

"How old were you, the first time you made love?"

"Eleven, I guess. The girl was like nine or ten. We were street kids. We fucked in an alleyway. It wasn't exactly magical but I got the job done, like Fuu said."

"It sounds nice," said Jin sadly.

Mugen handed him his pipe and gazed into the darkness. He felt an odd, heavy sadness for Jin. He held out his hand absent-mindedly for the pipe, but Jin had put it away already. Mugen dropped his hand and accidentally brushed Jin's.

"Sorry," they said in unison.

Mugen stuffed his hand into his pocket and scuffed the ground with his toe. "I'm really sorry, man, about what happened."

"Me too."

"Did you have any plans or anything? You know, a special girl?"

"No. I had thought about it once or twice. I never thought it'd happen like it did." Half-heartedly, he added, "Well, I don't know if it counts or not. I didn't…"

"Yeah, I understand."

Mugen pulled his hand out of his pocket and reached up to scratch his head contemplatively. When he dropped his hand, it brushed Jin's again. "Sorry," he said. But Jin didn't say anything; he glanced down, then looked at Mugen closely in the dark. "What?" demanded Mugen angrily.

Jin gently took Mugen's hand. "Do you mind?"

Mugen swallowed. "No, that's okay."

Jin laced their fingers together. They stood for several minutes side by side, their backs against the trees, holding hands. Jin had his eyes half-closed, deep in thought. Mugen stared into the blackness, listening to the occasional hoot of an owl.

"When I was a kid I knew this girl. We were both about fourteen. Man, she was the craziest girl I ever knew. She could rob you blind, even steal the hat off your head. She knew her stuff. We worked together a lot and would fuck afterward. She went around with other guys but I didn't really care. We were just friends, you know? As close as friends can be, when they're on the street like that. I guess we saw each other a couple times a week. We weren't really anything but friends."

"What happened?"

"To her, you mean? I think she got arrested. Or maybe she went to a whorehouse. Or both, who knows?"

"I see. And… was there a point to that story?"

"Nope. I was just remembering." Mugen crossed one leg over the other, still leaning against the tree. "With us and Fuu, it's a real… you know… that fancy word for crazy relationships with three people."

"Ménage-a-trois," said Jin.

"That's it."

"It's not a ménage-a-trois unless we're actually making love with each other. Is there something between you and Fuu I don't know about?"

Mugen laughed. "No, nothing. And you're not…?"

"No, I thought you were."

"She's a kid, anyways."

"Hmm."

The conversation ended, and they went back to their thoughtful silence, Mugen staring and Jin with his eyes half-closed.

Mugen rubbed his thumb against Jin's hand. Jin jumped.

"Sorry," said Mugen.

Jin shook his head, head turned toward Mugen. Mugen waited to see if he would lean his head back again but he didn't. After a moment, he began rubbing his thumb across the back of Jin's hand again. Jin leaned his head back with a soft sigh.

"Experiencing that curiosity again, Mugen?"

"No!" said Mugen sharply, stopping.

"You didn't have to stop." Jin hesitated. "It felt nice."

"Really?"

"Yes."

Mugen resumed gently rubbing Jin's hand. "I don't want to fuck. I'm just saying, right now, I don't want to fuck a guy. Or… any of that."

"I understand."

"It's just… sometimes I sort of… feel like I want to..." Mugen shrugged, then figured out that it was too dark to see him shrugging and Jin wasn't even looking at him. "Ever just wanted to not fuck? Is that weird?"

"No."

"Do you get what I mean?"

"Yes. You want affection without sex. That's normal, Mugen."

"And it's not…?"

"I don't know. There are different kinds of affection. Holding my hand is different from…"

"Fucking?"

"Yes. Thank you. 'Fucking' was the word I needed."

"That's not what I want. I mean… you trust me and I trust you. We're best friends. And neither of really… has anyone. We can pay for cheap thrills. But… you ever had the thing where you wanted to, you know, hold someone or something?"

Jin smiled in the dark. "I had no idea you were so romantic."

"Shut up. I'm serious." He hesitated. "Jin, you ever kissed a guy?"

"Once."

"Not Shenji."

"No."

"Me neither."

"Do you want to?"

"I wanted to try it, just once. To see what it's like." Mugen searched Jin anxiously in the dark. "Is that okay?"

"I think I've had more men propose to me than women," said Jin to himself.

"Jin?"

"You just wanted to try it once?"

"Yeah. Just one time. You know, you wonder about that stuff. But I never could… well, I didn't want everyone thinking I was queer."

"And now you want to test it on me, since I've already been disgraced beyond all description and therefore won't betray you?" asked Jin.

"Yes, exactly… no! No, that's not what I meant. Never mind."

Mugen released Jin's hand, but Jin clung on. "Mugen, you can. If you want," he said quietly. "And if you want to… be affectionate, that's okay. But nothing else." He said the last three words forcefully, and with good reason.

"Oh, no. I wouldn't," said Mugen hastily. "But just once I can…?"

"Yes. Once. But I'm not going to be your plaything, Mugen. I'm your friend."

"Thanks, man." Mugen hesitated. He wanted to, but he had a heavy stone of anxiety in his stomach. He'd never actually thought it would happen. Like how he'd always wanted to swim in a pool of gold. It made him feel nervous.

"Would you like me to start?" asked Jin quietly.

"Yeah, could you?"

Jin turned and put two fingers on Mugen's cheek. He angled Mugen's head toward him and brushed their lips together. So close, Mugen could see Jin's pale face in the dark; his eyes were closed. He closed his eyes as well; at first he let their lips press together without much movement, but then he began rooting around with his mouth, as gently as he could, considering he'd never been a terribly gentle person. Jin let him take the lead. Mugen was thankful; he was suddenly aware that their hands were hanging between them, fingers still loosely intertwined. He parted Jin's lips with his tongue and slid his tongue into Jin's mouth, feeling around slowly and sucking Jin's tongue. Jin pushed back just as gently with his own tongue. The hair on the back of Mugen's neck stood up; he pulled away. Jin followed him for a moment, gently biting his lower lip before the kiss broke.

"Wow," gasped Mugen. "That was… really good." His voice cracked.

"You liked it?" asked Jin, as collected as always.

"It was incredible," choked out Mugen. "Does that make me queer?"

"Tits or cock, Mugen?"

"Tits."

"You're fine."

Mugen breathed out a sigh of relief and ran a hand through his hair. He wished, a little, that he hadn't gotten tongue involved. He felt really uncomfortable now. "And, just to be sure, you're okay if I… you know…?"

"If you're affectionate," said Jin. "But Mugen?"

"Yeah?"

"The first time I feel your cock, I'll cut it off. That's a promise."

"Damn, Jin. I wouldn't do that. You can trust me."

"Nothing sexual," said Jin.

"No, nothing, I promise."

"Good."

Mugen looked down. He took Jin's hand again (he'd let go after the kiss had broken) and gave him a gentle tug. "Let's go back."

Jin let Mugen lead him back to the fire. They laid down at the edge of the woods, backs against trees, hands in Mugen's lap. Fuu was lying on the other side of the fire; her eyes opened a crack, then closed. Mugen wasn't the only one who was confused that night.