(Author's Note: Finally, you learn where I got the name of the story in this chapter! Shenji is close, very close. But I can't bring myself to post the dramatic climax until I get more reviews. In fact, the only reason I've updated at all since chapter 11 is because people were bugging me. You know who you are...)

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

"Psst. Fuu."

"What?" whispered back Fuu. They were whispering for several reasons. For one thing, it was very late (or very early) and therefore felt like they should be whispering. For another reason, Jin was sitting across from the wall, meditating, and it didn't seem like a good time to upset him.

"Can you go get me some more sake?"

"Get your own."

Mugen sneered at her and stretched out on the bed. They had bought one room, which had triggered a fast and furious fight over who got the bed. As of yet, the fight had not been settled. Fuu was sitting on the edge, combing out her hair; Mugen was lying full-length on it, hands behind his head, his geta still on his feet.

"Psst. Jin."

"Don't bother him!" hissed Fuu. Mugen ignored her.

"Psst. Jin. Hey. Hey, Jin. Yo. Jin. Yo. Psst. Hey."

Fuu covered her ears. Jin acted like he didn't even notice—which he might not have.

"Ji-i-in." Mugen pushed himself into a slouched sitting position and looked at Jin. Jin remained sitting with his back straight, eyes closed, one leg crossed. (The other stuck out at an awkward angle, but that could not be helped; it hurt him to bend it otherwise.) "Yo. Man. Hey."

"Would you just go downstairs and get it yourself?" snapped Fuu.

Mugen rolled over, his head leaning off the side of the bed, and began chanting, "Jin... Jin… Jin… Jin… Jin… Jin…"

"You're the most annoying person in the world!"

Mugen flipped his legs over his head, rolling off the bed in a backwards summersault, and crossed the room to crouch by Jin. He poked Jin's arm. "Yo, are you awake?"

"Just leave him alone and get your own sake!"

Mugen licked his finger and ran it over Jin's cheek. One of Jin's eyes opened. "If you touch me again, I will kill you."

"Man, you get really deep into that meditation thing, don'tcha?" asked Mugen like Jin hadn't just threatened him. "Will you be a pal and go downstairs for sake?"

"He can't even walk!"

Jin looked like he wanted to say no to Mugen, but get the drink to prove Fuu wrong. Instead he closed his eye, ignoring them both.

"Jin! Come on, I know you're awake now. Jin. Ji-i-i-in!" He poked Jin's face; in a flash Jin snapped down on his finger.

"OW! You freakin' ass, you bit me!"

"I warned you."

"I didn't even do anything!" whined Mugen.

"You interrupted my meditation."

"Aw, c'mon, you were sleeping."

"I was on the path to enlightenment!" cried Jin. "I had nearly achieved nirvana!"

"Go achieve me some sake!"

"Achieve your own sake!"

The two flew at each other and went tumbling onto the ground in what might have been a real fight, if they'd had swords, but as it was, resembled a pair of puppies rolling around nipping at each other. Fuu pushed herself into the fray to separate them, but one or both of them pushed her back out, and so she stood by as a sort of referee in case they decided to do some serious damage. But finally their scuffle came to a stop, with Jin on top. He gave Mugen's head a good knock against the floor before climbing off him and, wincing from his leg, resuming his meditation pose facing the wall.

"If meditation's so great, how come you never smile while you do it?" demanded Mugen, sitting up and rubbing the back of his head. (He managed to spike his already-spiky hair to the point of hilariousity, at least in Fuu's opinion.)

"There are good things that one doesn't need to smile during," said Jin with his eyes still closed.

"Yeah? Name one."

"Do you smile while you're making love? Do you have a big stupid grin on your face?"

"Maybe," said Mugen, demonstrating his big stupid grin for Jin.

"Ew, sick!" said Fuu, knocking the side of her head with the heel of her hand to try and dislodge the mental picture she'd accidentally gotten of Mugen. He grinned wickedly at her before turning his attention back to Jin.

"I've tried it before and it's stupid," he said, referring to the meditation.

"You weren't doing it correctly. Just like your fighting style…"

"That was a cheap shot," Mugen accused. One side of Jin's mouth turned up; he quickly forced it back down.

"Please leave me alone now."

Mugen remained sitting on the floor, legs spread out, looking, Fuu thought, a little like a bear, confused and bored. Then he asked, "So why don't you teach me the right way, O Great Enlightened One?"

Jin's eye open and he turned his head a fraction of an inch to look at Mugen. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah."

Jin observed him for a moment without emotion, then turned back to the wall. "Fine. Come here. Set your back against mine, and cross your legs."

Mugen complied. He craned his neck. "Yeah?"

"Hold your hands like this and close your eyes."

"Why are we sitting back to back?"

"Because your posture is terrible. You slouch. You need to learn to relax while keeping your back straight, and you can do that by setting yourself against mine." He paused, then said, "That's how my father taught me."

Mugen didn't ask anything else. He and Jin sat back-to-back, eyes closed, hands resting palm-up in their laps like they were carrying pots of water. Fuu crossed her arms and smiled at them; a moment ago, fighting, and now meditating. Besides, it meant she got the bed to herself… even if the end was a little muddy from Mugen's geta, which were now lying beside him, discarded.

"Posture," said Jin without moving, for Mugen had begun to slouch. He corrected himself.

Fuu flopped on the bed and put her head in her arms, but couldn't sleep. Instead, she kept imagining Jin, only three, setting his back against his father's and meditating. What could a little boy possibly meditate about? Twinkies?

"Posture," said Jin again.

"You're a posture tyrant," said Mugen, opening his eyes.

"You asked me to teach you, and I will."

Mugen pulled himself back up against Jin's body and cracked his neck without touching it. Fuu clenched her teeth.

"You know, if Mugen has lice, you'll probably get it," she said. Neither Mugen nor Jin responded to this. She sighed and laid her head back down; the two had ceased all talking, except for Jin's occasional, quiet voice: "Posture."

Fuu wanted to see how it would turn out: whether Mugen would get bored and leave, or whether he'd stick around and say it sucked afterward, or whether he'd perhaps go back to taunting Jin. But after five minutes (which was five times greater than Mugen's regular attention span) Fuu fell into a light doze and didn't wake until Mugen was pushing her from the bed.

Jin and Mugen sat for hours. Finally, Jin said quietly, "Mugen?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm finished."

Mugen opened his eyes and craned his neck around, back still mostly against Jin's. "How do you know when you're done?"

"You… just feel it."

"Like when you're with a woman and—"

"Yes."

Mugen's face was thoughtful. He reached up and tugged his chin. Jin stared at the floor, fingering the beads on his wrist. Then, finally, he said, "These are nenju. Do you know what they are?"

"Yeah, they're nenju. You just told me that."

Jin smiled, closing his eyes. "They're prayer beads. Typically, a priest wears one with 108 beads."

"Damn."

"The 108 beads represent the 108 worldly sins that block one's path to enlightenment."

"Yours doesn't have that many."

"No. I'm not a priest. I'm only a beginner on the path of enlightenment. For me, the beads symbolized how far I've traveled. Both literally, and spiritually. Their presence is a reminder of the path I'm on."

"Cool." Mugen peered down at the beads. "So, what is enlightenment?"

"That's a difficult question."

"Yeah, but you're a smart guy. Try and answer."

Jin studied Mugen for a sign of disrespect, but he was sitting there looking like an eager student; one leg was drawn against his body, and his arms were wrapped around it, his head on his knee, staring at the beads.

Slowly, Jin said, "Enlightenment is knowing your place in the world and being content in it."

"Like, happy?"

"Content," said Jin firmly. "We all have a place in life and a purpose to fulfill. Meditating helps us realize that purpose."

"Is yours to fuck that Shenji guy?"

"No. But being that I am now an exiled and dishonored person without any other true calling, I feel that it's the closest I have." He lowered his head even further, hair blocking his face entirely. "These beads, of course, aren't mine. True enlightenment is denied to me. You see, I've lost everything that mattered to me… and killed some of it myself. Yuki... Master Enshirou-san…" He touched the beads reverently. "But old habits are hard to break. I came from a spiritual family." He looked at them sadly. "Not one is mine. My mother and her mother and her mother's mother earned these."

"Earned?"

"Some people put more beads on as they grow more enlightened."

"Does someone give the beads to you? Or do you just put them on yourself?"

"You put them on when you've moved farther down the path."

"Couldn't you just add a whole crapload of beads, then? And let everyone think you were really, really holy?"

"No."

"But you said—"

"It doesn't work that way."

Mugen looked hopelessly lost. "I still don't get Enlightenment."

Jin sighed. "Mugen, think of a beach. Pretend you're a grain of sand. Does a grain of sand know that it is on a beach? No. Grains of sands are aware that they are grains of sand, and that there are grains of sand around them. But they cannot see that they, along with every other tiny piece of sand, forms a beach, along which is the ocean."

"And enlightenment is like when you realize you're not just a grain of sand, but a part of the beach?"

Jin looked up finally and smiled. "Yes. Exactly. When enlightened, you see the world, and the beauty of everything's place in it."

"Cool," said Mugen.

"Yes, very cool," agreed Jin, still fingering the beads. Then, with a hesitant look, he pulled on the bracelet. It broke; he reached out, yanked a lace out of Mugen's shirt, slid a few beads on it, and tied it to Mugen's wrist.

"Hey!" said Mugen, who, despite not being very enlightened, felt there was something wrong about Jin breaking his beads.

"Consider yourself on the very first step on the million-mile path," said Jin, retying his own bracelet. "You know, they say the first step is the realization that there is enlightenment to be had, and the pursuit of it."

"So I get beads 'cos I want to be enlightened?"

"Yes. But Mugen? Don't just add them randomly so that everything thinks you're really, really holy."

Mugen grinned. "Yeah, no problem, man. You've got my word."

Mugen wasn't enlightened enough yet to care if Fuu was sleeping. He shoved her out of bed and crawled in himself. Fuu squawked at him indignantly, but he ignored her, and soon she gave up and fell asleep curled on the floor. Mugen lay staring at the ceiling and rolling the beads around in his hand. Jin had given him three; not enough to really be called a bracelet. Just beads on a lace. Then again, thought Mugen, grains of sand are just grains of sand, but don't they all form a beach together? He fell asleep with one hand laid over his wrist, the smooth wood comforting to his fingertips.

He woke early in the morning to find Jin had crawled into bed with him and was pushing against him to get comfortable.

"Yo?" he asked.

"Hai," said Jin.

Mugen scooted aside to make room. Still, Jin pressed against him like there wasn't enough room in the bed.

"I'm cold," said Jin, by way of explanation.

"Maybe you're getting sick," said Mugen. "Maybe your leg is all fucked up."

"Maybe I'm just cold," replied Jin.

Mugen sat up and pulled off his jacket. It was a long red cloth coat, probably colder than Jin's kimono; but he handed it to Jin anyway. Jin accepted it silently and put it on before snuggling back down into the bed.

"I know why you're here," said Mugen after a moment.

"Do you?" responded Jin in a somewhat patronizing voice.

"Yeah." Mugen lowered his voice. "You wanna cuddle."

"Looks like you caught me," said Jin, still in a patronizing voice.

Mugen inched away. Jin inched after him. Mugen pushed him away and held him at arm's length, so that both were perched on the edge of the bed, about to fall out. Fuu probably could have fit between them with room to spare.

"No, man, you've got to say it."

"Excuse me?"

"You've got to say it," repeated Mugen.

"That's ridiculous!" said Jin in annoyance, losing his patronizing, amused voice.

"I agree with you completely, but you were the one who established that rule, not me." Mugen smirked. "So, say it, or I'll just push you right back out of bed."

There was a long, dead silence while Jin suppressed his anger along with his dignity. Finally he mumbled something out.

"I can't hear you!" said Mugen in a sing-song voice.

"I want to cuddle."

"Ha ha. You wanna cuddle. Big, bad, stoic Jin needs someone to hold him."

"See, this is why I didn't want to say it!" said Jin. "When I made you say it, I didn't mock you afterward. And you're the one who's more… in need of… you're the one who started this whole… affection thing."

Mugen dropped his arm, but Jin didn't come to him. He moved back to the middle of the bed and laid his head down. (The pillow crushed his spiky hair.) He looked unusually morose. "Okay, I'm sorry. Come here."

There was a pause, where Jin sized Mugen up. Then he inched over and put his arms around Mugen, burying his face into his neck. "Tomorrow I'm going to ask around the town. Maybe the day after that, as well. Find out anything I can. Then, I'm going to go get him."

Mugen stared over the top of Jin's head. "Man, you can't. Your leg isn't any good. You'll get killed."

"It would better to be killed and finally resolve this feud, than to leave it without conclusion."

"Jin… I don't normally beg. Actually, I never beg. But I'm gonna beg now, okay? Please, for the sake of Buddha or Enlightenment or whatever it is you're into, just let it go."

"I can't let it go."

"Why not?"

'You cannot ever understand. I'm sorry. Until you've had someone… on top of you… forcing themselves into you… you won't understand that you can't let go."

Mugen was silent. He couldn't think of any counter-argument, except to restate that Jin would die if he met again with Shenji. But he knew Jin didn't care.

"Mugen."

'What?"

"I'm glad we met, even if I didn't get to kill you."

"I agree."

"I suppose we were meant to. Our lives have intersected so frequently."

"Yeah. That's weird."

Jin shifted slightly in Mugen's arms, then reached up slowly and pulled his hair from its knot. He reached out gently to take Mugen's wrist and lead his hand to his head. Mugen stroked his hair without saying a word; when Fuu woke the next morning, they were still pressed together, Mugen's fingers in Jin's hair.