The Merc and the Ninja
Part 13: Viva Wade Wilson
By
The Uncanny R-Man
Disclaimer- I own nothing. All these characters belong to Marvel.
Shout Outs-
L1701E- Sorry, no plans for any more resurrections. If you like lots of gratuitous resurrections, you might want to try another of my fics 'New Mutants: August.' It's in the regular X-Men section.
Risty- Well, I guess my obviously superior sense of humour is sometimes difficult to get. I guess you can add Sage to your slim list of characters that you like! Yes, there will be craziness in Vegas and Florida ... and London... and Valencia (that's in Spain luv)... and Paris... and Sydney... and anywhere else I can think of! Betcha can't guess who's gonna guest star where! The only sport that I like to watch while drinking is mud wrestling, or ladies volleyball... Anything to do with scantily clad women come to think of it...
***
The DeadMobile pulls up outside a random Las Vegas hotel. Wade steps out and looks at all the neon lights and various casino signs.
'Ooooh pretty!'
'Yes Wade.' Betsy deadpans. 'Let's all gaze at the gaudy lights!'
Wade then turns around and puts his arm around his girlfriend's shoulders.
'What's the matter Cute Buns? Aren't you having fun?'
Betsy just yawns and rubs her eyes tiredly.
'I just want to have a nice long shower and get to bed.'
Wade's eyes light up at the notion.
'Alone.' Betsy adds.
***
After gaining entry to the hotel, everyone splits up and goes off to their rooms.
Wade and Betsy-
Betsy is having a shower while Wade explores the hotel.
Betsy steps out of the shower and pulls a towel around her and proceeds to dry her hair. She sings a random song while she's at it.
'Crazy, but that's how it goes, millions of people living as foes, maybe it's not too late to learn how to love and forget how to hate...' (1)
She's so engrossed in her singing that she doesn't even notice Wade walk in. he just leans back and watches her singing.
'Mental wounds not healing, who and what's to blame, I'm going of the rails on a crazy train...'
Betsy snaps out of her euphoria as Wade gives her a round of applause.
'Bravo Cute Buns! Bravo!'
Betsy just grins, removes the towel from around her and throws it in Wade's face.
'Find anything of interest?' Betsy asks as she dries herself off and searches around for her night attire.
'Nothing of too much interest.' Wade replies. 'Fifteen different Elvis impersonators, and that's it.'
'Typical Las Vegas.' Betsy snorts. 'Wade, have you seen my purple silk nightdress/'
'I don't know why you wear that thing.' Wade replies. 'It's not like it's going to stay on for long.' He finishes off by giving her a sexy wink.
Betsy just smiles at Wade's attempts and climbs into bed. She pats the place next to her welcomingly.
'Are you going to stand there all night or are you going to join me in bed?'
Wade doesn't need to be asked twice. He leaps in after her and begins to kiss her passionately.
***
Jubilee and Angelo-
We currently find the youngest members of BLEW in the hotel casino. They walk through, looking around at the various slot machines and card tables.
'You wanna give anything a go?' Jubilee asks.
Angelo lets out a disappointed sigh.
'I don't know Jubes. I thought Vegas would be more than this.'
'We could always take a tour of the Hoover Dam.' (2) Jubilee replies.
'In the middle of the night?' Angelo asks sceptically.
'Point.' Jubilee concedes. 'So, wanna check out the late night buffet?'
'Sure!'
The two of them join arms as they stroll over to the late night buffet. Upon arriving there, Jubilee looks over the menu.
'Ooh, half price waffles! You want some?'
'I'm more of a muffin man m'self.' Angelo replies.
'Yeah I know, you dig MY muffins!' Jubilee counters with a saucy smile.
'Guilty as charged chica!' Angelo grins. 'Hey, I've got a better idea, let's go up to our room and order room service!'
'Sounds kinda boring.' Jubilee replies.
'You don't know what the food's gonna be used for do ya?' Angelo replies, a lecherous sparkle in his eye.
An equally lecherous smile spreads on Jubilee's face.
'Whipped cream or chocolate sauce?' She asks.
'Let's go nuts and have both!' Angelo grins.
Jubilee squeaks in excitement as she grabs Angelo's hand and pulls him along to the elevator to go back up to their rooms.
'You are once kinky Chinese chick!' Angelo grins.
'You know it buster!'
***
Typhoid and Pyro-
Typhoid Mary and Pyro are walking hand in hand along the Las Vegas Strip. Pyro looks at Typhoid and smiles.
'So, Typh, you ever been to Vegas before?'
'Can't say that I ever have, John.' She replies.
'I have.' John says. 'It was back when I was with the Freedom Force. We were assigned to catch some Sheila that could turn stuff to ice.'
'Did you catch her?'
'Not really no.' Pyro replies. 'I melted her.'
Typhoid laughs out loud at the thought.
'You guys were a regular bunch of bunglers, weren't you?'
Pyro just smiles and walks further along.
Unseen by the two, they pass a man with dark glasses and short auburn hair walking along with an attractive looking woman with long red hair. The woman turns to the man and starts talking to him.
'It looks like you were right Matt, Typhoid Mary IS in Las Vegas!'
'Aren't I always right, 'Tasha?' The man replies.
The woman just shakes her head good-naturedly.
'We'd better suit up.' She says. 'Before she gets into trouble!'
Later-
Typhoid and Pyro are now sat in a diner having a cup of coffee together. Typhoid takes some cream and pours it into her coffee. She watches as the white liquid swirls around in the darker brown liquid.
'Penny for 'em.' Pyro says.
Typhoid looks up from her coffee.
'Oh, it's nothing. I just thought that I saw a familiar face when we were walking along the Strip.' She replies.
'Come to think of it, I thought I saw the Black Widow walking along there too!'
Typhoid puts down her coffee in shock.
'And you know who she's hanging out with nowadays!'
'Daredevil!' They both say.
Typhoid dumps some money on the table and runs out of the diner through the back door.
'Going somewhere?' A voice says from the darkness.
They turn around and see Daredevil and the Black Widow standing in their way.
'Now listen her, mate!' Pyro says. 'We didn't come to Vegas for a fight, so, leave us alone and there won't be any trouble!'
'I'm going to ignore the fact that you should be dead, Pyro.' Daredevil says. 'So come along peacefully.'
'What part of leave us alone didn't you understand?' Typhoid asks. 'We've turned over a new leaf! We're the good guys!' Remember when you got that gift delivered to your door the other week?'
'Bullseye in a box?'
'Yeah, that was us! Well, me, Deadpool and Psylocke!'
'And Deadpool's such an upstanding citizen!' Black Widow snorts.
'Why are you working with him?' Daredevil asks. 'I thought you hated him!'
Typhoid turns to Daredevil and glares at him.
'At least he was there for me when I need someone!'
'What the hell is she babbling about?' Black Widow asks.
'She means the time when she discovered that I knocker her out that window all those years ago, therefore turning her into Typhoid Mary, apparently!' (3)
'Nuts to this!' Typhoid growls. 'I've had enough of you screwing around with my affairs! BU...'
'STOP!'
All four of them turn and see Betsy, Wade, Jubilee and Angelo running up to them.
'Stay out of this you four!' Daredevil says. 'This is between me and Typhoid!'
Betsy takes something out of her pocket and shows it to Daredevil.
'This is official STRIKE (4) business so I'll have to ask you to leave our friends alone!'
'I'm here on Avengers business!' Black Widow replies.
'And when was the last time you did anything remotely Avenger-y?' Jubilee asks.
That shuts Black Widow up.
Daredevil lets out a deep sigh and slumps his shoulders.
'Okay, I'll let her go this time but, if I found out that she's been up to her old tricks, no one will be able to keep me from you!'
With that, everyone goes their separate ways.
After Daredevil and the Black Widow have reached a safe distance away, Wade turns to Betsy.
'So, is that STRIKE ID still valid?'
'Hell no!' Betsy replies. 'That expired years ago!'
'Can we please go back to the hotel?' Angelo asks.
'Yeah.' Jubilee adds. 'Some of us have got an appointment with whipped cream and chocolate sauce!'
Wade turns to Betsy with a grin.
'That sounds like fun Cute Buns. You wanna try it?'
'You'd better not get any on the sheets!' Betsy replies.
With that, they all walk back to the hotel. Pyro turns back to Typhoid and notices her depressed expression.
'What's up luv?'
'It's just that meeting Daredevil here stirred up a few bitter memories. Messing around with Matt Murdock's life, tricking Wade into thinking that I was Siryn and seducing him! I'm not proud of either of them!'
Pyro puts his arm around her shoulder and holds her close.
'I know what we can do that'll make yer happy, Sheila! Let's raid the Mini- Bar, vet drunk and have red-hot passionate sex, Whatta ya say?'
'Dibs on the JD!'
END...
NEXT: Florida and... Cable!
***
NOTES-
(1)- Crazy Train, YAY!! As sung by Ozzy Osbourne! Guess what, I don't own it!
(2)- The Hoover Dam is in Nevada isn't it?
(3)- As seen in Daredevil: The Man Without Fear (the falling through window incident) and daredevil/Deadpool Annual (Typhoid remembering what happened and hiring Deadpool to kill Daredevil for her)
(4)- STRIKE is the British version of SHIELD. Betsy did uses to be a member, waaaaay back before she joined the X-Men.
And, the title refers to 'Viva Las Vegas' as sung by Elvis, which I don't own. I wouldn't really want to own the song. I don't like Elvis all that much anyway!
Part 13: Viva Wade Wilson
By
The Uncanny R-Man
Disclaimer- I own nothing. All these characters belong to Marvel.
Shout Outs-
L1701E- Sorry, no plans for any more resurrections. If you like lots of gratuitous resurrections, you might want to try another of my fics 'New Mutants: August.' It's in the regular X-Men section.
Risty- Well, I guess my obviously superior sense of humour is sometimes difficult to get. I guess you can add Sage to your slim list of characters that you like! Yes, there will be craziness in Vegas and Florida ... and London... and Valencia (that's in Spain luv)... and Paris... and Sydney... and anywhere else I can think of! Betcha can't guess who's gonna guest star where! The only sport that I like to watch while drinking is mud wrestling, or ladies volleyball... Anything to do with scantily clad women come to think of it...
***
The DeadMobile pulls up outside a random Las Vegas hotel. Wade steps out and looks at all the neon lights and various casino signs.
'Ooooh pretty!'
'Yes Wade.' Betsy deadpans. 'Let's all gaze at the gaudy lights!'
Wade then turns around and puts his arm around his girlfriend's shoulders.
'What's the matter Cute Buns? Aren't you having fun?'
Betsy just yawns and rubs her eyes tiredly.
'I just want to have a nice long shower and get to bed.'
Wade's eyes light up at the notion.
'Alone.' Betsy adds.
***
After gaining entry to the hotel, everyone splits up and goes off to their rooms.
Wade and Betsy-
Betsy is having a shower while Wade explores the hotel.
Betsy steps out of the shower and pulls a towel around her and proceeds to dry her hair. She sings a random song while she's at it.
'Crazy, but that's how it goes, millions of people living as foes, maybe it's not too late to learn how to love and forget how to hate...' (1)
She's so engrossed in her singing that she doesn't even notice Wade walk in. he just leans back and watches her singing.
'Mental wounds not healing, who and what's to blame, I'm going of the rails on a crazy train...'
Betsy snaps out of her euphoria as Wade gives her a round of applause.
'Bravo Cute Buns! Bravo!'
Betsy just grins, removes the towel from around her and throws it in Wade's face.
'Find anything of interest?' Betsy asks as she dries herself off and searches around for her night attire.
'Nothing of too much interest.' Wade replies. 'Fifteen different Elvis impersonators, and that's it.'
'Typical Las Vegas.' Betsy snorts. 'Wade, have you seen my purple silk nightdress/'
'I don't know why you wear that thing.' Wade replies. 'It's not like it's going to stay on for long.' He finishes off by giving her a sexy wink.
Betsy just smiles at Wade's attempts and climbs into bed. She pats the place next to her welcomingly.
'Are you going to stand there all night or are you going to join me in bed?'
Wade doesn't need to be asked twice. He leaps in after her and begins to kiss her passionately.
***
Jubilee and Angelo-
We currently find the youngest members of BLEW in the hotel casino. They walk through, looking around at the various slot machines and card tables.
'You wanna give anything a go?' Jubilee asks.
Angelo lets out a disappointed sigh.
'I don't know Jubes. I thought Vegas would be more than this.'
'We could always take a tour of the Hoover Dam.' (2) Jubilee replies.
'In the middle of the night?' Angelo asks sceptically.
'Point.' Jubilee concedes. 'So, wanna check out the late night buffet?'
'Sure!'
The two of them join arms as they stroll over to the late night buffet. Upon arriving there, Jubilee looks over the menu.
'Ooh, half price waffles! You want some?'
'I'm more of a muffin man m'self.' Angelo replies.
'Yeah I know, you dig MY muffins!' Jubilee counters with a saucy smile.
'Guilty as charged chica!' Angelo grins. 'Hey, I've got a better idea, let's go up to our room and order room service!'
'Sounds kinda boring.' Jubilee replies.
'You don't know what the food's gonna be used for do ya?' Angelo replies, a lecherous sparkle in his eye.
An equally lecherous smile spreads on Jubilee's face.
'Whipped cream or chocolate sauce?' She asks.
'Let's go nuts and have both!' Angelo grins.
Jubilee squeaks in excitement as she grabs Angelo's hand and pulls him along to the elevator to go back up to their rooms.
'You are once kinky Chinese chick!' Angelo grins.
'You know it buster!'
***
Typhoid and Pyro-
Typhoid Mary and Pyro are walking hand in hand along the Las Vegas Strip. Pyro looks at Typhoid and smiles.
'So, Typh, you ever been to Vegas before?'
'Can't say that I ever have, John.' She replies.
'I have.' John says. 'It was back when I was with the Freedom Force. We were assigned to catch some Sheila that could turn stuff to ice.'
'Did you catch her?'
'Not really no.' Pyro replies. 'I melted her.'
Typhoid laughs out loud at the thought.
'You guys were a regular bunch of bunglers, weren't you?'
Pyro just smiles and walks further along.
Unseen by the two, they pass a man with dark glasses and short auburn hair walking along with an attractive looking woman with long red hair. The woman turns to the man and starts talking to him.
'It looks like you were right Matt, Typhoid Mary IS in Las Vegas!'
'Aren't I always right, 'Tasha?' The man replies.
The woman just shakes her head good-naturedly.
'We'd better suit up.' She says. 'Before she gets into trouble!'
Later-
Typhoid and Pyro are now sat in a diner having a cup of coffee together. Typhoid takes some cream and pours it into her coffee. She watches as the white liquid swirls around in the darker brown liquid.
'Penny for 'em.' Pyro says.
Typhoid looks up from her coffee.
'Oh, it's nothing. I just thought that I saw a familiar face when we were walking along the Strip.' She replies.
'Come to think of it, I thought I saw the Black Widow walking along there too!'
Typhoid puts down her coffee in shock.
'And you know who she's hanging out with nowadays!'
'Daredevil!' They both say.
Typhoid dumps some money on the table and runs out of the diner through the back door.
'Going somewhere?' A voice says from the darkness.
They turn around and see Daredevil and the Black Widow standing in their way.
'Now listen her, mate!' Pyro says. 'We didn't come to Vegas for a fight, so, leave us alone and there won't be any trouble!'
'I'm going to ignore the fact that you should be dead, Pyro.' Daredevil says. 'So come along peacefully.'
'What part of leave us alone didn't you understand?' Typhoid asks. 'We've turned over a new leaf! We're the good guys!' Remember when you got that gift delivered to your door the other week?'
'Bullseye in a box?'
'Yeah, that was us! Well, me, Deadpool and Psylocke!'
'And Deadpool's such an upstanding citizen!' Black Widow snorts.
'Why are you working with him?' Daredevil asks. 'I thought you hated him!'
Typhoid turns to Daredevil and glares at him.
'At least he was there for me when I need someone!'
'What the hell is she babbling about?' Black Widow asks.
'She means the time when she discovered that I knocker her out that window all those years ago, therefore turning her into Typhoid Mary, apparently!' (3)
'Nuts to this!' Typhoid growls. 'I've had enough of you screwing around with my affairs! BU...'
'STOP!'
All four of them turn and see Betsy, Wade, Jubilee and Angelo running up to them.
'Stay out of this you four!' Daredevil says. 'This is between me and Typhoid!'
Betsy takes something out of her pocket and shows it to Daredevil.
'This is official STRIKE (4) business so I'll have to ask you to leave our friends alone!'
'I'm here on Avengers business!' Black Widow replies.
'And when was the last time you did anything remotely Avenger-y?' Jubilee asks.
That shuts Black Widow up.
Daredevil lets out a deep sigh and slumps his shoulders.
'Okay, I'll let her go this time but, if I found out that she's been up to her old tricks, no one will be able to keep me from you!'
With that, everyone goes their separate ways.
After Daredevil and the Black Widow have reached a safe distance away, Wade turns to Betsy.
'So, is that STRIKE ID still valid?'
'Hell no!' Betsy replies. 'That expired years ago!'
'Can we please go back to the hotel?' Angelo asks.
'Yeah.' Jubilee adds. 'Some of us have got an appointment with whipped cream and chocolate sauce!'
Wade turns to Betsy with a grin.
'That sounds like fun Cute Buns. You wanna try it?'
'You'd better not get any on the sheets!' Betsy replies.
With that, they all walk back to the hotel. Pyro turns back to Typhoid and notices her depressed expression.
'What's up luv?'
'It's just that meeting Daredevil here stirred up a few bitter memories. Messing around with Matt Murdock's life, tricking Wade into thinking that I was Siryn and seducing him! I'm not proud of either of them!'
Pyro puts his arm around her shoulder and holds her close.
'I know what we can do that'll make yer happy, Sheila! Let's raid the Mini- Bar, vet drunk and have red-hot passionate sex, Whatta ya say?'
'Dibs on the JD!'
END...
NEXT: Florida and... Cable!
***
NOTES-
(1)- Crazy Train, YAY!! As sung by Ozzy Osbourne! Guess what, I don't own it!
(2)- The Hoover Dam is in Nevada isn't it?
(3)- As seen in Daredevil: The Man Without Fear (the falling through window incident) and daredevil/Deadpool Annual (Typhoid remembering what happened and hiring Deadpool to kill Daredevil for her)
(4)- STRIKE is the British version of SHIELD. Betsy did uses to be a member, waaaaay back before she joined the X-Men.
And, the title refers to 'Viva Las Vegas' as sung by Elvis, which I don't own. I wouldn't really want to own the song. I don't like Elvis all that much anyway!