The Merc and the Ninja
Part 14: It's a Small World
By
The Uncanny R-Man
Disclaimer- I don't own anything. Deadpool, Betsy, Jubilee, Angelo, Typhoid, Pyro, Cable and Domino all belong to Marvel.
Shout Outs-
Dark Jaded Rose- Sex is cool, isn't it? To be fair, Daredevil has a right to be mean to Typhoid; she did mess around with his life, and try to kill him!
Risty- I never liked Sage/Tessa all that much but when I read X-Treme X- Men, she started to grow on me. Seeing that you asked so nicely, I have added New Zealand to BLEW's travel schedule. I'm afraid that it isn't going to be LotR or King Kong related, maybe Avengers related though. (Not Steed and Emma Peel, Captain America, Scarlet Witch and co!) Other than that, I'm keeping quiet for now! Who needs to gamble when you can have sex?
***
Somewhere in Florida-
The DeadMobile pulls up outside a swanky looking hotel and Wade gets out. He helps Betsy and the others unload their bags and walk into the hotel. While Wade gets their room keys, Betsy and the others look around the foyer.
'I always did love Florida.' Typhoid says.
'Why's that luv?' Pyro asks.
'You don't wanna know!' Typhoid replies.
John doesn't question further as he guesses that the story has something to do with random acts of violence and bloodletting. Come to think of it, most of Typhoid's stories end like that!
Jubilee turns to Angelo beside her.
'So, Angelo, you wanna go shopping later?'
'Do I have to?' Angelo groans. 'It's almost half-ten in the evening! Why can't we just go out and have a quiet drink?'
'Spoilsport!' Jubilee pouts at the thought of a shopping trip going to waste.
Betsy then turns and sees Wade walking up to them with the room keys in his hands.
'There ya go kiddies!' he says, handing out the keys. 'Now spit off to your rooms so me and Betsy can have some private time!'
***
Jubilee and Angelo-
After unpacking, the first thing that Angelo does is switch on the TV, much to Jubilee's consternation!
'Is that all you think about?' Jubilee asks, her arms crossed over her chest.
'Of course not, chica!' Angelo grins. 'I also think about cars and women!'
Jubilee just rolls her eyes and cuddles up to her guy on the bed. She starts to wind strands of his hair around her fingers.
'If we can't go shopping, we could always do something else!' She whispers seductively.
'I'll get the ice-cream!' Angelo says, getting up off the bed.
Jubilee takes his hand and sits him back down.
'Let's leave the ice-cream for now, kay?'
'Well you're the kinky one!' Angelo replies, kissing Jubilee.
'You're one to talk, Mister-several-extra-feet-of-stretchy-skin!' Jubilee replies with a lecherous grin.
***
Typhoid and Pyro-
We presently find the two reformed villains walking along by the hotel swimming pool. The whole place is deserted. Typhoid turns to John with a twinkle in her eye.
'Hey John, you wanna go in for a late-night dip?' She asks.
'I think the pool's closed for the night Sheila.' John replies.
Typhoid just grins seductively and slowly takes of her clothes. After she has disrobed, she dives into the pool and beckons John closer.
'C'mon John!' She says. 'Live a little!'
St John doesn't need asking twice as he quickly disrobes and jumps in after her.
'I always did love skinny-dipping at night!' He grins.
Typhoid swims up to him and plants a kiss on his lips.
'Aren't you the kinky one?' She grins.
***
Wade and Betsy-
The two co-leaders of the gang are walking hand-in-hand along the street. They stop outside a nearby bar.
'Whatta ya say Betts?' Wade asks. 'You wanna knock back a few?'
'Of course I'm ready for a few beers!' Betsy replies. 'I'm British!'
They walk into the bar. Betsy grabs a seat in a corner booth while Wade grabs the drinks. The purple-haired telepath looks over at a couple sitting at another booth. She doesn't know why but she recognises them from somewhere. Her train of thought is broken as Wade walks up with the drinks.
'Here are your drinks madam!' He grins as he passes Betsy a bottle. 'You watch yourself though.' He says. 'Remember you can't handle your booze!'
Betsy takes a swig before answering.
'Up yours tosser!' She replies.
'See what I mean!' Wade says, taking a swig. 'You're cussing already!'
After a few rounds-
Betsy is now regaling Wade in one of her tales of her old X-Men days.
'And then wham, I whipped out me psychic knife and plunged it into the tosser's brain!' She slurs.
A cheeky smile spreads on Wade's face.
'Real badasses use swords or adamantium blades!' He says.
'Sod off ya wanker!' Betsy slurs again, taking yet another swig.
'Blimey!' Wade replies. 'You're a cheeky bird, ey wot?'
All Betsy does in reply is let rip with an almighty burp.
'BRAAAP!!'
'Oh yeah, very classy Betts!' Wade sighs. 'Real demure an' ladylike!' (1)
'Just shut up an' get me another * hic * beer!' Betsy replies.
Not wanting to get into a drunken argument with a ninja-trained telepath that could easily kick his but, even when drunk, Wade does as he is told and walks over to the bar. On the way, he looks over at a nearby booth and instantly recognises the two people sitting there.
'Well shave my muff and call me Wanda!' He gasps. 'If it isn't Nathan Dayspring Askani'son Summers Cable Soldier X! Or are you just callin' yahself Priscilla now?' (2)
'Nate's fine.' The white-haired Summers' child from the future replies.
Wade turns to Nate's pale-skinned companion.
'And Domino! You're looking as... pale and lovely as usual!'
'Flonq off before is stick this beer bottle where the Sun don't shine, Wilson!' Domino replies.
'What's all th' fuss about?' Betsy drunkenly slurs from behind them. 'Oh look who it is! Cable and Dom! Hiya guys!'
'Hello Betsy.' Nate replies. 'I heard that you two were alive.'
'Yeah, you can never keep a good X-Bird down!' Betsy replies, as she sits down beside Nate.
'So what brings you to Florida?' Wade asks.
'We just thought that we'd stop by, isn't that right Dom?' Nate says.
'Yeah, great move Nate!' Dom replies. 'Tell the psychotic mercenary all about our top secret plans to go to DisneyWorld... Oh crap!'
'So the big-bad-X-Force guy actually has a heart!' Wade grins. 'So, you guys actually got married yet?'
'No.' Dom replies. 'Nate's to tight to spring for a ring!'
'I used to baby-sit you y'know!' Betsy says. 'Back when you were an' ickle baby!'
'Oh God!' Nate groans. 'Not the story with Logan's cigars!'
'One day, ickle baby Nate got hold of Logan's prize cigars an' almost burnt down the whole bloody X-Mansion!' Betsy continues, before breaking into a fit of giggles.
Wade just ignores his girlfriend's drunken giggling and continues talking to Nate and Dom.
'So Wade.' Nate says. 'Are you and Betsy together then?'
'Yup.' Wade replies. 'She's my Cute Buns!'
'An' you're my Snuggly-Wuggly Wadey-Spadey!' Betsy giggles.
'She still can't hold her liquor then?' Dom asks.
'Uh-huh, drunk as a newt!' Wade replies.
'Yo Momma!' Betsy replies.
***
Later, after Wade has finally dragged Betsy away from the bar-
Wade carefully lowers Betsy onto the bed. The purple-haired Brit is fast asleep, having currently exceeded her tolerance for alcohol. Wade rubs away the kinks in his bank and goes to the bathroom to freshen up. Once he has finished, he sees that Betsy has woken up.
'Come ter bed Wadey!' Betsy slurs, patting the bed beside her. 'Betsy wants lovin!'
Wade climbs into bed beside her. Betsy moves closer.
'Kiss me!' She says.
Wade is perfectly happy to oblige and goes to kiss her. Unfortunately, Betsy chooses that time to pass out drunkenly on Wade's lap, still with her lips puckered. Before Wade can get her off his lap, the adjoining door to their and the next room opens up and Jubilee walks in.
'Wade, have you got any...?' The young Asian mutant stops in her tracks as she sees Betsy and wade in their compromising position. 'Jeez, don't you guys ever stop?'
END...
Notes-
(1)- The whole Betsy-drinking-and-burping-loudly comes from X-Men Unlimited #47, in which, Betsy and Logan throw back a few beers together while She tells him of her pre-X-Men days.
(2)- Wade also said the same thing to Nate in Cable/Deadpool #1 (Minus the 'Shave my muff and call me Wanda' thing!)
As you may have guessed, the title comes from that bloody annoying ride at DisneyWorld with the scary singing dolls!
Part 14: It's a Small World
By
The Uncanny R-Man
Disclaimer- I don't own anything. Deadpool, Betsy, Jubilee, Angelo, Typhoid, Pyro, Cable and Domino all belong to Marvel.
Shout Outs-
Dark Jaded Rose- Sex is cool, isn't it? To be fair, Daredevil has a right to be mean to Typhoid; she did mess around with his life, and try to kill him!
Risty- I never liked Sage/Tessa all that much but when I read X-Treme X- Men, she started to grow on me. Seeing that you asked so nicely, I have added New Zealand to BLEW's travel schedule. I'm afraid that it isn't going to be LotR or King Kong related, maybe Avengers related though. (Not Steed and Emma Peel, Captain America, Scarlet Witch and co!) Other than that, I'm keeping quiet for now! Who needs to gamble when you can have sex?
***
Somewhere in Florida-
The DeadMobile pulls up outside a swanky looking hotel and Wade gets out. He helps Betsy and the others unload their bags and walk into the hotel. While Wade gets their room keys, Betsy and the others look around the foyer.
'I always did love Florida.' Typhoid says.
'Why's that luv?' Pyro asks.
'You don't wanna know!' Typhoid replies.
John doesn't question further as he guesses that the story has something to do with random acts of violence and bloodletting. Come to think of it, most of Typhoid's stories end like that!
Jubilee turns to Angelo beside her.
'So, Angelo, you wanna go shopping later?'
'Do I have to?' Angelo groans. 'It's almost half-ten in the evening! Why can't we just go out and have a quiet drink?'
'Spoilsport!' Jubilee pouts at the thought of a shopping trip going to waste.
Betsy then turns and sees Wade walking up to them with the room keys in his hands.
'There ya go kiddies!' he says, handing out the keys. 'Now spit off to your rooms so me and Betsy can have some private time!'
***
Jubilee and Angelo-
After unpacking, the first thing that Angelo does is switch on the TV, much to Jubilee's consternation!
'Is that all you think about?' Jubilee asks, her arms crossed over her chest.
'Of course not, chica!' Angelo grins. 'I also think about cars and women!'
Jubilee just rolls her eyes and cuddles up to her guy on the bed. She starts to wind strands of his hair around her fingers.
'If we can't go shopping, we could always do something else!' She whispers seductively.
'I'll get the ice-cream!' Angelo says, getting up off the bed.
Jubilee takes his hand and sits him back down.
'Let's leave the ice-cream for now, kay?'
'Well you're the kinky one!' Angelo replies, kissing Jubilee.
'You're one to talk, Mister-several-extra-feet-of-stretchy-skin!' Jubilee replies with a lecherous grin.
***
Typhoid and Pyro-
We presently find the two reformed villains walking along by the hotel swimming pool. The whole place is deserted. Typhoid turns to John with a twinkle in her eye.
'Hey John, you wanna go in for a late-night dip?' She asks.
'I think the pool's closed for the night Sheila.' John replies.
Typhoid just grins seductively and slowly takes of her clothes. After she has disrobed, she dives into the pool and beckons John closer.
'C'mon John!' She says. 'Live a little!'
St John doesn't need asking twice as he quickly disrobes and jumps in after her.
'I always did love skinny-dipping at night!' He grins.
Typhoid swims up to him and plants a kiss on his lips.
'Aren't you the kinky one?' She grins.
***
Wade and Betsy-
The two co-leaders of the gang are walking hand-in-hand along the street. They stop outside a nearby bar.
'Whatta ya say Betts?' Wade asks. 'You wanna knock back a few?'
'Of course I'm ready for a few beers!' Betsy replies. 'I'm British!'
They walk into the bar. Betsy grabs a seat in a corner booth while Wade grabs the drinks. The purple-haired telepath looks over at a couple sitting at another booth. She doesn't know why but she recognises them from somewhere. Her train of thought is broken as Wade walks up with the drinks.
'Here are your drinks madam!' He grins as he passes Betsy a bottle. 'You watch yourself though.' He says. 'Remember you can't handle your booze!'
Betsy takes a swig before answering.
'Up yours tosser!' She replies.
'See what I mean!' Wade says, taking a swig. 'You're cussing already!'
After a few rounds-
Betsy is now regaling Wade in one of her tales of her old X-Men days.
'And then wham, I whipped out me psychic knife and plunged it into the tosser's brain!' She slurs.
A cheeky smile spreads on Wade's face.
'Real badasses use swords or adamantium blades!' He says.
'Sod off ya wanker!' Betsy slurs again, taking yet another swig.
'Blimey!' Wade replies. 'You're a cheeky bird, ey wot?'
All Betsy does in reply is let rip with an almighty burp.
'BRAAAP!!'
'Oh yeah, very classy Betts!' Wade sighs. 'Real demure an' ladylike!' (1)
'Just shut up an' get me another * hic * beer!' Betsy replies.
Not wanting to get into a drunken argument with a ninja-trained telepath that could easily kick his but, even when drunk, Wade does as he is told and walks over to the bar. On the way, he looks over at a nearby booth and instantly recognises the two people sitting there.
'Well shave my muff and call me Wanda!' He gasps. 'If it isn't Nathan Dayspring Askani'son Summers Cable Soldier X! Or are you just callin' yahself Priscilla now?' (2)
'Nate's fine.' The white-haired Summers' child from the future replies.
Wade turns to Nate's pale-skinned companion.
'And Domino! You're looking as... pale and lovely as usual!'
'Flonq off before is stick this beer bottle where the Sun don't shine, Wilson!' Domino replies.
'What's all th' fuss about?' Betsy drunkenly slurs from behind them. 'Oh look who it is! Cable and Dom! Hiya guys!'
'Hello Betsy.' Nate replies. 'I heard that you two were alive.'
'Yeah, you can never keep a good X-Bird down!' Betsy replies, as she sits down beside Nate.
'So what brings you to Florida?' Wade asks.
'We just thought that we'd stop by, isn't that right Dom?' Nate says.
'Yeah, great move Nate!' Dom replies. 'Tell the psychotic mercenary all about our top secret plans to go to DisneyWorld... Oh crap!'
'So the big-bad-X-Force guy actually has a heart!' Wade grins. 'So, you guys actually got married yet?'
'No.' Dom replies. 'Nate's to tight to spring for a ring!'
'I used to baby-sit you y'know!' Betsy says. 'Back when you were an' ickle baby!'
'Oh God!' Nate groans. 'Not the story with Logan's cigars!'
'One day, ickle baby Nate got hold of Logan's prize cigars an' almost burnt down the whole bloody X-Mansion!' Betsy continues, before breaking into a fit of giggles.
Wade just ignores his girlfriend's drunken giggling and continues talking to Nate and Dom.
'So Wade.' Nate says. 'Are you and Betsy together then?'
'Yup.' Wade replies. 'She's my Cute Buns!'
'An' you're my Snuggly-Wuggly Wadey-Spadey!' Betsy giggles.
'She still can't hold her liquor then?' Dom asks.
'Uh-huh, drunk as a newt!' Wade replies.
'Yo Momma!' Betsy replies.
***
Later, after Wade has finally dragged Betsy away from the bar-
Wade carefully lowers Betsy onto the bed. The purple-haired Brit is fast asleep, having currently exceeded her tolerance for alcohol. Wade rubs away the kinks in his bank and goes to the bathroom to freshen up. Once he has finished, he sees that Betsy has woken up.
'Come ter bed Wadey!' Betsy slurs, patting the bed beside her. 'Betsy wants lovin!'
Wade climbs into bed beside her. Betsy moves closer.
'Kiss me!' She says.
Wade is perfectly happy to oblige and goes to kiss her. Unfortunately, Betsy chooses that time to pass out drunkenly on Wade's lap, still with her lips puckered. Before Wade can get her off his lap, the adjoining door to their and the next room opens up and Jubilee walks in.
'Wade, have you got any...?' The young Asian mutant stops in her tracks as she sees Betsy and wade in their compromising position. 'Jeez, don't you guys ever stop?'
END...
Notes-
(1)- The whole Betsy-drinking-and-burping-loudly comes from X-Men Unlimited #47, in which, Betsy and Logan throw back a few beers together while She tells him of her pre-X-Men days.
(2)- Wade also said the same thing to Nate in Cable/Deadpool #1 (Minus the 'Shave my muff and call me Wanda' thing!)
As you may have guessed, the title comes from that bloody annoying ride at DisneyWorld with the scary singing dolls!