Cloud dunked his head under the faucet. God, I'm an idiot. What the HELL went wrong in there? He dried his wet hair on a towel and stripped down to his boxers. Why was that so--so--hollow? he asked himself. I haven't seen Tifa in seven years! Why was Briseis better able to talk to her than I was?
He cringed, remembering his conversational failure. I should have offered her a place to stay, he told himself angrily. What kind of an idiot ARE you? Tifa's only your oldest and best friend in the entire world.
But--was she even his friend at this point? What, exactly, could they call their relationship? Back in the living room, she had felt almost like a stranger. That could be explained away by the seven years of separation, but even his last memory with her was a harsh one. He replayed the scene over in his mind, the way he had done so many times that first year...
She had been kneeling in the graveyard, exactly where Vincent had said she would be. Her hair and clothes were covered in snow from the blizzard, but she seemed oblivious to the storm around her. The picture of her in the snow, tracing her parents' names on the stone, was one he locked in his memory. He had realized that day how much he needed her.
Which is why he took her departure the way he did.
The last words she had spoken to him were not only humiliating and completely unexpected, but crushing. To be told she didn't love him--when had he ever inferred otherwise? And how did that simple fact relate in any way to her staying with the team? Most importantly, what would he do without that love? He had realized then that he had always leaned on her love and support, unconsciously, perhaps. But the figure of that girl—that woman--walking away from him, never once looking back, had been the most devastating thing that had ever happened to him. In a way, it was worse even than Aeris' death.
Then, Briseis had shown up, almost out of nowhere. When Tifa had left the party, Cloud had insisted on taking a break for a little while. He had gone to the Golden Saucer, taking Yuffie and Cait Sith, while the others followed up a lead that had led them to the Gaea Cliffs. He had spent a week or so in Chocobo Square, squandering gil on losing chocobos. It was there he had meet Briseis; she was an up-and-coming jockey with a Mountain chocobo called Galadriel. She had unwisely picked a fight with Joe, Teioh's owner, and Cloud had noticed her because she was, well, kicking the crap out of him. Ever since then, she was as much a part of the team as anyone else.
What would I have done without her? Cloud wondered, meaning it quite literally. If he hadn't met the striking 18-year-old, he might have gambled away all his time and money at Chocobo Square. She had continued to come in handy, even after they had stopped Meteor. She had watched out for him in Costa Del Sol, chased away reporters, talked to him when he was drunk or depressed, been strong when he was weak. She was his best friend--but never anything else. She was everything Tifa had ever been, but despite gossip from the papers and hints from friends, they had never even kissed, let alone shared the passionate sex life the tabloids swore they had.
Cloud shook his head to clear it. These memories were too hard to take all at once, especially tonight. He took a sleeping pill and hopped into bed.
Tifa pulled her hair back. She moved out of the way of the sink, allowing Briseis to brush her teeth.
"Thanks again for putting me up for the night," Tifa said, hanging up her damp towel.
Briseis spat out the toothpaste and rinsed her mouth. "No problem. I've wanted to meet you forever. This is just an excuse to get to know you."
Tifa grinned. "My life is an open book. What do you want to know?"
"I don't know how much you're willing to tell a perfect stranger. I'm just curious," Briseis replied apologetically.
"Shoot."
"All right. Why did you leave the team?"
Tifa sighed. "I figured you'd want to know that. I'll explain as best I can, but you could probably get a better answer from Vincent. I'm pretty sure he understands me better than I do."
Briseis shook her head. "Can't get a full sentence out of him. He's very enigmatic. I don't believe I've ever had an actual conversation with him."
"Then I'll try. I left because I wasn't on the team for my own motives anymore. I was trying to be true to my father's memory and avenge all the people that Sephiroth had taken from my life. I don't know exactly when I realized that I wasn't fulfilling my mission correctly, that to honor the dead I would be wiser to rebuild the world of the living, instead of killing all the time. By rebuilding the world of the living, I rebuilt my own world as well. And so revenge didn't matter to me as much. I had to save the Planet in my own way."
Briseis nodded slowly. "I understand. But, Tifa...you do know that Cloud believes you left because of him?"
"Did he tell you that?"
"No, of course not. Does Cloud ever talk about himself? Like I said back in the villa, he avoids talking about you completely. You hurt him deeply when you left."
Tifa bowed her head. "He's right, of course. I did leave because of him." She sat down on the edge of the tub. "There are only four women who have ever mattered to Cloud at all. First, his mother. Second, myself. Third, Aeris. Fourth, you." Briseis was washing her face, but looked up at her last words. "His mother died twelve years ago. He loved Aeris deeply; she died seven years ago."
"Right before you left..." interjected the younger girl softly.
Tifa nodded. "I don't know exactly what your relationship to him is. But I--I loved him. It seems so far away now, but the feeling I had for him is still almost tangible, the mixture of rapture and pain. I left the team when I learned that his heart was in the lake with Aeris. I don't know if I've ever stopped loving him, somewhere deep in me. All I know is that it doesn't matter anymore, because it's never going to make a difference to either of us. Anyway...that's a long time ago, now. Things are different."
"I understand. To answer your unspoken question, there's nothing beyond friendship between me and Cloud. Never has been." Briseis fiddled with the corner of her washcloth. "I don't know if there ever could be. He's the only guy in my life now, so my perception here is limited." For moment she looked as if she was going to continue, but instead she straightened up and gestured down the hall. "I'll be down there. It's the only door past the bathroom, if you need me."
"Thanks. G'night."
"Right. Sweet dreams."
Tifa approached the villa door with a few butterflies flitting around in her stomach. The team had arrived this morning in the Highwind, and was presumably lounging around Cloud's basement, waiting for her to show up.
For a terrified second, she considered turning around and running. She hadn't seen any of these people for seven years. She was pretty sure that Vincent was the only one of them who actually understood why. When she left, she hadn't even said goodbye to anyone; it just hadn't seemed important then. Now considerable apprehension filled her, as she stood with her hand on the doorknob. Would they blame her for Cloud's estrangement? Would they hate her for leaving?
She opened the door, and any nervousness she had felt fled immediately as she was enveloped in a huge group hug. She could hear Cid and Barret calling hello above the others, but she knew they were all there.
She finally tore away, and surveyed the scene before her. Cloud and Briseis were over in a corner, watching; Barret was grinning as widely as was humanly possible; Cid was letting out a stream of good-natured curses; Vincent was silently chuckling; Reeve was shyly separated from the group; Red XIII was rocking back and forth on his hind legs. But Yuffie seemed to be missing...
"Where's Yuffie?"
Barret shrugged, his grin fading swiftly. "She's out back, with her bodyguard. Said she still felt a little bit sick." He gestured to the back door, which opened as if on command.
Yuffie walked in, three inches taller, seven years prettier, and with more confidence than Tifa would have thought possible from the ninja brat of early AVALANCHE. She was dressed in a tailored black suit with a pair of sunglasses pushed on top of her glossy black head, hair streaming halfway down her back. She had changed more than any of the other members. Tifa stared in astonishment for a moment, then ran over and hugged her. Yuffie laughed and hugged her back.
"Yuffie! You're so grown up!"
"Yeah, I'm a Regent now. I'm a little young, just 23, but since it's my dad running the show, I was pushed in." Another person slipped through the door then. He was tall and powerful looking, with flaming red hair. He was dressed the same as Yuffie. Tifa clenched her fist, recognizing the man.
Yuffie sensed the sudden angry tension that filled the room. "Hey, you guys! I know he was our enemy awhile ago, but he works for my dad now! My dad! Treat him nice!"
Cloud, who hadn't seen the "bodyguard" before, had his hand on his sword. "Your dad hires Turks?" he hissed.
"All of them," admitted Yuffie miserably. "Reno, Rude, Elena...they're all working for him as Regents. Reno's head of department."
The subject of their conversation grinned affably. "I do a damn good job, too. Don't worry, my children, I'm not here to provoke you. I've got orders to protect the President's daughter, that's all. Just imagine me as a piece of furniture." Reno thought a moment. "Okay, a talking piece of furniture." He thought again. "An attractive talking piece of furniture."
"A damn jackass piece of furniture who crushed Sector Seven," growled Barret. Cloud put out a hand to stop him from saying whatever he was building up to.
"Okay. We've got to deal with you. Fine. Just stay out of the way, if you want to hold me responsible for my actions," he warned the red-haired ex-Turk.
"Agreed," replied Reno. He sat on the arm of Briseis' chair, attentive and listening. Briseis threw him a dirty look and shifted away from him.
Tifa looked around, noticing that all her friends were also seated now, looking up at her expectantly. She sighed.
"All right. I guess I ought to tell you guys why I had you leave your homes and family to come here." She looked down at her hands, fiddling distractedly. "Well, I've been living in Gongaga for a few years now. I set up a bar there. I usually keep an eye on the broken-down reactor on the south side of town, because it's been known to produce weird fumes and noises in the past." Everyone around her looked puzzled, waiting.
She cleared her throat. "I don't know exactly how to explain this...You guys were in Mideel when the Lifestream cracked the surface open, right?" A couple people nodded. "It closed up pretty soon after Meteor disappeared. I was in Cosmo Canyon when it closed, and I asked one of the elders about it. He said the Lifestream being on the surface would upset the balance of the Planet, and would call too much energy to one spot. Apparently, it opened there in the first place to balance the energy being gathered at the other pole, in the Crater. At that time, it was the only spot on the Planet where the Lifestream had surfaced."
Red XIII interrupted briefly. "That's right. Grandfather explained that to me. Now that the Crater is healing, the energy doesn't need to balance itself out, and the crack in Mideel sealed itself shut."
"Exactly. Well, I was doing a quick inspection of the Gongaga reactor a week or two ago, and I noticed something odd. A trickle of green--well, I assume it was liquid--was coming up from a tiny spring. It was the Lifestream." Cloud shook his head, looking for a moment as if he was going to interject. Tifa raised a hand, determined to finish what she had started. "I know. Incredible, but not a problem worth calling the team together for, right? I wasn't exactly worried when I found it, but a little curious. So I took my Ocean chocobo and went over to the old Corel reactor. Same thing. A tiny spring of Lifestream had appeared in the heart of the reactor. It's the same all over," she told them anxiously. "Not just Gongaga and Corel, but Junon, Midgar, Fort Condor, everywhere! I can't explain it. But I know it's upsetting the balance of the Planet--all the reactors have suddenly called stronger, more numerous monsters around them. Materia in its crystallized form is appearing as well." She looked around. Her words had created no small effect on the group.
Cloud spoke. "I don't know if it's serious. But it's worrisome. Red, you study at Cosmo Canyon—can he elders there give us any answers about this?"
Red XIII pawed the ground nervously. "I think so. They've lost a lot of knowledge there since—since Grandfather died, but they still know more about the Planet than any of us could ever hope to."
"Anyway, it's really the only thing we can do now." Cloud looked around. "Tifa, Red XIII, I'd like you guys to come with me to Cosmo Canyon. We'll go by Chocobo. The rest of you, take the Highwind and examine all the old Mako reactors." He stood up, stretched, and looked out at the now-dark sky. "You're all free to stay the night here. Spread out in the living room, the basement, the bathtub, I don't care. Get some sleep. We leave tomorrow, conditions permitting."
Everyone rose and gathered their things together, staking out space on his floor. Tifa and Briseis left them arguing over who got the couch and headed for the apartment.
In the middle of a swirling green mist, a dead flower girl from the slums of Midgar sat alone with her memories. She played them out like a movie, watching a certain beloved blond man knock her over in Sector One, fall through a church roof in Sector Five, take her on a sky-gondola at the Golden Saucer. It was still painful to watch those memories, although she had spent all her tears long ago.
Of course, "long ago" meant nothing, because time had no meaning in the Lifestream. But Aeris knew she hadn't died too long ago, because the pain at losing Cloud and all her friends was still fresh. The desire to live again was overwhelming in its intensity. She walked among her memories, finally coming to a secluded platform in the middle of a crystalline city, which appeared around her as she stepped onto the platform. She knelt there, as she had done too many times to count, looking into the startled Mako-blue eyes that belonged to her Cloud.
For just a moment, as she lost herself in those eyes, it was like she was alive again, on the surface. She felt herself slipping into his eyes, and then realized something very suddenly--she wasn't losing herself in his eyes, she was simply losing herself. She looked down. Her form was losing its definition and she turned into a shadowy ghost of the girl she was. Her memories faded around her, disappearing gradually. The only thing that remained was the platform and the crystalline city, which seemed to shift and then resettle.
Aeris stood. She was in the City of the Ancients--the real city, not just a nebulous memory. She was still ghost-like and transparent as the wind, but she breathed deeply in the world of the living. God, was it good to be back...