AN) Well I know I'm probably going to be lynched for posting this and not the next chapter of Do I Have Too? Unfortunately this has been runny ramped through my mind for weeks now. So I hope you like the first chapter it isn't great but I'm hoping it will get more interesting as I go.
Don't own it and unfortunately never will.
It hurt everything hurt his body ached all over and he was sure someone was crushing his head in a vice. He didn't dare open his eyes not yet, the small amount of light that filtered through his eyelids turning them red was painful he sure as hell didn't want to find out what would happen if he opened them. Despite the pain he had to be laying on one of the most comfortable beds of his life it was nothing like Yuki's hard mattress. He was sure that he was resting on a down mattress cover and the comforter over him seemed to be made of the same light yet warming material. The sun despite the torture it was causing his head felt warm and inviting he wished he could just drift back into oblivion the sound of someone humming prevented that. It was a familiar voice and a familiar song though the song he could place, Nittle Graspers first hit, the owner of the voice escaped him. He heard general rummaging the person was moving about the room with ease he desperately wanted to open his eyes to see what was going on where he was and who was humming that damned song. The person came toward the bed and he heard the sound of metal on wood then the bed sank ever so slightly on his right side. He felt a light touch on his forehead that promptly withdrew then he felt his mouth being forced opened and something cold and hard was placed uncomfortably under his tongue. He tried to struggle but his right arm was under the blankets and his left hurt far too much to move. He must have whimpered he wasn't sure but the person quietly began asking him questions.
"Are you awake Shindou-san?" the voice was barely above a whisper, he knew it but he couldn't place it. He desperately wanted to answer but his voice wouldn't work he couldn't form any words. He nodded his head the best he could, it sent searing pain down his spine but he had to let this person know that he was aware. He heard a beep and the now warm object in his mouth was removed.
"You still have a high fever it's been a whole day perhaps I should take you to the hospital." The person seemed to be talking more to himself. He used all the strength he had to violently shake his head no. He was quickly grabbed and felt the person push his bangs back and stroke his hair soothingly. He calmed a bit at the gentle touch and relaxed back into the down pillow.
"It's ok I wont take you now that you're awake, unless the fever still doesn't go down at least now I can give you some medicine." The figure moved away. Suddenly it hit him he was so shocked he couldn't help his eyes flying open to verify what his ears were telling him. A blinding white pain and a few tearful blinks later he was looking for the source of the voice. He turned his head to the side that the person had been at and gasped. He was right none other than Seguchi Tohma stood next to the bed pouring water in a glass and taking a pill from a bottle. He couldn't understand what was going on why was Tohma smiling at him like that touching him so gently. His fear must have shown through Tohma was now reassuring him that he meant no harm and only wanted to help. The blond man came back over to the bed and helped Shuichi sit up it had to be one of the most painful experiences of his life. He leaned back propped against two huge and fluffy pillows somehow the description didn't make his body hurt any less. He felt feverish and he looked to see the reason his left arm wasn't working was because it was heavily bandaged. After readjusting him Tohma had retrieved the water again and was now sitting on the bed facing him with that same soft smile. Shuichi knew he was breathing heavily whether it was due to all the movement or his sickness he wasn't sure but he felt faint. He didn't even realize that his head was slumped forward and that his eyes were closing until Tohma used a hand to push his chin up.
"Open your mouth." Although it was stated gently it was in no way a request and Shuichi let his jaw fall open slightly. Tohma placed the small pill on his tongue and then the glass to his lips. Shuichi swallowed as best he could and then continued to drink greedily he hadn't realized how thirsty or hungry he had been. After the water was pulled away and set on the night stand the keyboardist turned back to him once again brushing hair from his face.
"What were you doing Shindou-san why were you out in the snow like that? Why were you bleeding all over the snow like that? My heart stopped when I saw you I thought I was to late and you were gone but then you let out a soul wrenching sob and for a second I thought 'This is what he wants I should let him have it' but I was too selfish and I-I brought you back here. Please don't hate me." He whispered wrapping Shuichi in his arms and holding him as tightly as he could. Despite the pain Shuichi allowed it he didn't try to pull away, he could feel himself beginning to slip into unconsciousness again he didn't know if it was the pill or not but he suspected so. His right hand was gripping Tohma's shirt tightly he didn't want the older man to leave him.
Tohma grabbed one of the pillows from behind Shuichi and tossed it aside then leaned the boy gently back on the bed. As he moved away the grip only tightened he looked to see Shuichi's eyes pleading with him not to leave. Shuichi wanted desperately to talk to him but it his voice didn't seem to be working at all. Tohma pulled back the covers when Shuichi showed no objection he climbed in next to the boy and held him close. Shuichi was forced to lie on his back due to his injuries so all he could do was turn his head to the side and nuzzle softly into Tohma's chest until he could fall asleep. Shuichi was somewhere in-between dozing and awake he wasn't sure how long he had been here with Tohma but he felt warm and more relaxed than he had in a long time. Tohma lay on his side his body molded to Shuichi's; one arm was beneath the boy holding him around the waist the other was stroking his cheek gently he was dimly aware of lips brushing against his ear and soothing words being whispered to him, he let Tohma's tender voice lull him into a deep dreamless sleep.
When he woke later Tohma still slept beside him, he felt more aware now and realized he desperately needed to go to the bathroom. It took awhile but he managed to slip out of the bed without waking the older man. He found the bathroom with ease, when he was done he decided he might as well take a shower while Tohma still slept. He started to feel dizzy again though and leaned a hand against the wall for support. Hands were suddenly on his shoulders holding him steady he tilted his head back as far as he could to assure himself that it was Tohma.
"You should have woken me up Shindou-san I would have helped you. What would I have done if you had fallen and hurt yourself?" The blond man asked. "Come on lets get you back to bed." He stated putting Shuichi's uninjured arm around his neck to help support him. Shuichi shook his head no. "But you must be tired you're still too weak to be up and around like this." Shuichi tried to talk but once again no sound came out. He pulled his arm away and pointed at the tub. "What?" Tohma asked looking him in the eyes. Shuichi made his way slowly to the tub and tried to turn the water on. Tohma smiled that's what he wanted. Tohma walked up behind him and turned the water on he rinsed out the tub real quick and then pulled the stopper up. "Do you want bubbles?" he asked grabbing a thing of soap it wasn't meant for that purpose but it would do. Shuichi nodded enthusiastically. Once he had the water going he left to go find Shuichi some fresh clothes, when he returned the boy had striped and was trying to get into the tub. Tohma blushed slightly at the sight the singer made he was beautiful but he quickly brushed such thoughts aside and helped Shuichi into the tub. Shuichi was ten times as embarrassed as Tohma had been he turned beet red and wouldn't look at the keyboardist. Tohma told him to prop his injured arm on the side of the tub to keep it from getting wet, then watched him patiently as he relaxed and let his eyes drift closed.
"Don't fall asleep in there you'll get even sicker." Tohma said. Shuichi peaked an eye open and blew with little interest at some bubbles near him. He suddenly slipped beneath the water and Tohma was up to grab him when he reappeared wiping the bubbles from his eyes. He reached for the shampoo but quickly realized there was no way he would be able to wash his hair with one hand. Tohma saw his predicament and took the bottle in his hands telling Shuichi to turn around so that his back was to him and to keep his arm elevated.
'It's to quiet.' Shuichi thought as Tohma began to wash his hair for him. He tried to hum but hardly any sound came out, and it didn't sound anything like what he was trying to hum. He reached his hand up and stopped Tohma, he turned to look at him his eyes pleading, he didn't know how to let his boss know he didn't like the silence. Tohma's hands were still intertwined in Shuichi's hair as the boy stared up at him wanting something, he didn't know what though. Suddenly Shuichi lifted his hand to point at Tohma's throat. Tohma didn't understand did he want to know why he couldn't talk?
"What is it Shindou-san?" Tohma asked. As soon as he began to talk Shuichi started nodding his head. Tohma still had no idea what he wanted. Shuichi turned to the wall and began to slowly make the shapes of letters while Tohma said them out loud. After a good five minuets Tohma finally got the message. "Please talk I don't like quiet."
"Um I-I don't know what to talk about." Tohma finally said feeling like he'd disappointed the boy. Shuichi went back to his air writing "Then sing." Tohma blinked a couple of times at that he wasn't much of a singer, but the look on Shuichi's face steeled his resolve and he sang Nittle Grasper songs as he finished washing the vocalists hair. He pulled the shower head down to rinse the boy's hair; he had to roll up one of his sleeves and help him lean back so that his wound would stay out of the water. His head was tilted completely back with his eyes clenched tightly shut, his lips were parted slightly and Tohma couldn't help but want to touch them. He restrained himself though and quickly finished getting Shuichi cleaned off. He stood the singer up Shuichi turned red again as he faced away from Tohma and let him run the water over him to rinse away all the soap. Tohma wanted to cry at the sight of his body it was black and blue it was no wonder he could barely move. A few seconds later Shuichi felt a soft towel being placed over his shoulders and Tohma lifted him carefully from the tub and sat him on the counter. He grabbed a smaller towel and dried Shuichi's hair before uncovering his left arm to clean and rewrap it.
Shuichi leaned back against the mirror the towel pooled loosely over him as he watched Tohma slowly unwrap his arm. His eyes widened in horror at the sight he had a huge gash going down the inside of his arm. Fear immediately took over and his eyes darted to Tohma's he would have cried out if his voice had allowed it. Tohma gauged his reaction Shuichi didn't seem to remember he'd done it to himself.
"You're going to be ok it stopped bleeding a long time ago. Y-you did it to yourself." He added softly, not taking his eyes off the wound as he cleaned it. Something warm suddenly hit his hand and he looked up to see tears running down the singers face. Shuichi was using his right hand to clutch the towel around himself tighter. Tohma grabbed his face and wiped the tears away with his thumbs.
"Don't you cry because of him you shouldn't feel sorry for him. He hurt you, he drove you to this so don't you dare cry because of him." Tohma had begun to cry himself and pulled Shuichi's head tightly to his chest.