Warnings: Personally I still think this is a T rating. There are mentions of extreme violence but I don't feel I went into any great or disturbing detail. If you think otherwise feel free to tell me and I'll up the rating until then it's still a T.
Shuichi had been with Tohma for almost a week now. He was doing better his bruises and the cuts were healing he was able to get up and move around as well. Tohma decided to give him his own room, Shuichi didn't seem happy about it like he thought he would be.
"Shuichi it's better this way, I wont run the risk of waking you up every morning. Besides you must be tired of me hogging all the covers." Tohma said trying to joke. Shuichi simply looked away into his new bedroom. Tohma approached him from behind and hugged him gently.
"If you need anything at all during the night you come get me ok. I don't care what it is, you're not a burden at all and I want to take good care of you." He released him. "Why don't you get settled in here and then I'm sure dinner will be done shortly, I'll come get you when it's done." Tohma exited the room his smile fading as soon as the door was closed.
He found himself in his bathroom staring at the tortured reflection of himself. It was all he could do to suppress his sobs. He had gone over to Eiri's today to pick up a few of the singers belongings. Eiri wasn't there; the apartment looked like it had been torn to shreds by robbers. Tohma wondered down the hallway taking in the mess he couldn't help but think that a good majority of it had been caused by Shuichi's attempt to get away from the novelist. He went to the master bedroom to get some of Shuichi's clothes that he had requested and from there he'd have to search the rest of the apartment for the things like his pink bunny, and lyric notebook. The sight that greeted him almost made him sick. The room was in shambles and there was dried blood on the bed, Shuichi's blood. Tohma cursed Eiri then and there screaming threats and obscenities at the writer who had recently disappeared. It had taken a while for him to come to his senses and he realized that he had added to the mess in the apartment by destroying anything that hadn't already been demolished. Realizing what he'd done he quickly gathered Shuichi's things and left, now here he was standing in front of his own mirror and having a break down. He heard a light tapping on the door and quickly looked to make sure he'd locked it he didn't want anyone to see him like this.
"One second." He said after he'd gained reasonable control over his voice. He fixed his hair and made sure he didn't look like he'd been crying, then turned and opened the door. Shuichi was standing on the other side he grabbed Tohma's hand and pulled him down to the dinning room where their dinner was waiting. Tohma talked about his day at work he had learned very quickly that Shuichi didn't like quiet and since he couldn't make his own noise basically demanded it of others. He would answer by smiling or nodding his head, but tonight he seemed to be rather distant. Eventually Tohma fell silent, he watched as Shuichi got up and retrieved his things that had been at Eiri's then went up to his room. Tohma couldn't help but think he'd angered the singer in some way.
Shuichi stood in front of the mirror in his bathroom staring at his neck. His mouth was moving out but still no sound came out. Shuichi's throat had been hurt in his struggle with Eiri. Tohma had taken him to the doctor only to find that he might never regain his singing voice. The doctor had said that he was already healing but there was no guarantee that it would come back fully. Surgery wouldn't be an option until his throat had healed completely and then there was only a slim chance that it would do any good.
Shuichi had lost it at the news, the doctor had actually given him a shot of some sedative to calm him down. It had worked quickly and it wasn't long before he was back in Tohma's arms heading home. By the time they reached Tohma's house Shuichi was out and slept for the rest of the day.
Leaving the bathroom Shuichi grabbed his lyric book and began to write. Just because he couldn't sing didn't mean he couldn't express himself through music still. He might even be able to get Ryuichi to sing the songs since he couldn't. The longer Shuichi tried to write the more nervous he became. He'd been writing when Eiri attacked him. Shuichi shivered slightly at the thought Yuki had been insanely drunk.
He'd been in the living room with his headphones on trying to come up with Bad Lucks next greatest hit. Suddenly his headphones had been torn off and in the next instant Eiri's fist had connected with his cheek. He landed on his side on the floor looking up dazed at his lover. Eiri ad grabbed him by the hair and dragged him to his bedroom. Even the Aizawa incident hadn't been as bad as this. Shuichi had never felt so much physical pain in his life but the mental was a hundred times worse. Through the whole thing his lover had been screaming things at him ranging from the fact that he was worthless, to Shuichi being the cause of every thing that had ever gone wrong in his life. Shuichi had tried to plead with the novelist, repeating over and over that he loved him more than anything. He apologized and begged Yuki to stop, thinking back on it he probably would have been better off if he hadn't tried to struggle. When his pleas became too much for the author he'd begun to choke Shuichi, causing the injury to this throat. If he'd just stayed quiet he would still be able to sing.
He had no idea how long the whole thing actually took once it was over Eiri had left Shuichi bloody and broken on the bed. Shuichi had cried in the beginning but had run out of tears, after Yuki left he simply lay on the bed staring at the ceiling. Yuki's words ran through his mind becoming truer each time they were repeated. Eventually he managed to get up, he pulled on the closest thing he could find. Making his way to the kitchen had been difficult the place was a mess. He didn't really remember putting up that much of a fight against his lover. He'd come into the kitchen to get some sort of pain killer but stumbled and knocked over the knife rack. He opened his eyes after several minutes of just laying on the floor to find knifes scattered around him. "Worthless, you're worthless." Eiri's words echoed through his head. Shuichi reached out and grabbed the closest knife. He'd never considered suicide before in his life. It'd been harder than he though the first time he tried to cut it only left a scrape down his arm. Apparently it took a good deal more pressure. He tightened his grip on the handle then pushed down as hard as he could.
His own scream echoed through the apartment, then died away. He couldn't look at his arm he needed to get away from the blood. Getting up was a more than difficult task, his whole body throbbed and he could feel the blood flowing down his arm. After that his memories began to get hazy he'd run out of the apartment taking note of the fact that it was snowing quiet heavily. He'd ended up in the snow, after that the only thing he could remember was waking up in Tohma's house.
Shuichi was up until the early hours of the morning writing. When he finally fell asleep it was into a light nightmare laced one. Two days of this had passed before Tohma finally brought it up during dinner.
"Shuichi you don't look very good do you need to go to the doctor again?" He asked as he watched the singer pick at his food. He shook his head no and took a small bite of his rice.
"Ryuichi asked about you today. He wants to visit as soon as you're up to it. I wasn't sure whether you wanted to see anyone right now so I told him later this week if you were up to it." Tohma watched as Shuichi grabbed his notepad and scribbled something on it. Tohma read the barely legible hiragana. 'I want to see him, tomorrow maybe?'
"Sure tomorrow's fine, I'll drop him by in the morning and you can spend the whole day together okay?" Tohma's mood lightened Shuichi seemed thrilled at the thought of seeing his idol.
Reviews: I received and e-mail saying we're not supposed to answer reviews so I guess I'll just answer any specific questions and hand out a thanks to all the reviews I did get.
A great big thanks to.
Rebelyell59, gdpsych, Plunger of d00m, kluv19, amyrose300, Eve-Phire, Fenikkusu Koi.