Uncanny Wade and Betsy

Chapter 25: Aaah! Death!

By

The Uncanny R-Man

Disclaimer- I don't own anything, all familiar characters belong to Marvel.

Shout Outs-

Risty- How could I not mention sheep in a chapter about New Zealand? It's the only place that the sheep outnumber the people, right? I would have chosen a kea but the kakapo has a much funnier name.

Agent-G- No, Wade isn't going to die. Think 'Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey' and you'll get an idea what's gonna happen.

BLEW HQ, New York-

Wade cowered in the corner as a purple-robed figure stood before him.

'Wade, what is it?' Betsy asked.

The purple-robed figure removed its hood to show the face of an attractive woman.

'Do we know you?' Betsy asked.

The robed woman just shook her head.

'Not much of a talker, huh?' Jubilee muttered. 'You gonna tell us who you are or what?'

Wade finally stopped cowering and answered the question.

'She's Death.' He said. 'And she's come back for me.'

'But why were we brought back if Death's gonna come take us away again anyway?' Angelo asked. 'Sounds kinda stupid to me.'

'Excuse us just one second Miss uh... Death.' Betsy said with an apologetic look on her face as she ushered everybody together.

'He have to do something, we can't just let Death take us away after all the work we've done.' Betsy whispered.

'What work?' Jubilee replied. 'We've only had one case and that was Typhoid.'

'I don't suppose you guys know any way to beat Death.' Angelo said.

'Death isn't something you cam just beat into submission.' Betsy replied. 'It's a force of nature. Fighting Death will be like attacking Galactus with a pointy stick!'

'Hang on guys, I've got a great idea...' Wade said as he grinned evilly. 'Have any of you seen Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey?'

'You're not going to challenge Death to a game of Twister, are you?' Betsy asked, not believing her ears.

'You got a better idea, Cute Buns?' Wade replied.

Later-

Jubilee was sitting on a desk with the Twister spinner placed on her lap. Typhoid was sitting beside her while Wade, Betsy, Angelo and Pyro were playing Twister with Death.

'Left hand green.' Jubilee commanded.

Wade and co struggled to place the desired limb on the right colour as they were all tangled up. Even Betsy with her amazing Twister abilities was finding it hard to stay up.

There was a groan as Death's legs began to give away. Everybody sighed in relief as she fell on her butt.

'Well I guess that's that.' Jubilee said as the others untangled themselves. 'Seeya Death. Don't go away angry, just go away!'

Instead of leaving, like a good loser would, Death just stood their pouting like an insolent child.

'Best two out of three?' Wade asked.

Death nodded in reply.

'Yana, bring out Battleships!' Wade commanded.

Later-

It was Wade's turn to give out the coordinates.

'B-12!'

Death punched the table in anger as Wade sunk her battleship.

'Three out of five?' She wrote on a notepad.

Later still-

Wade, Death and the others were playing Clue! Death picked up the die, rolled and moved the correct number of spaces, moving in to the library.

'Miss Scarlet in the conservatory with the handgun.' She wrote down on her pad.

Illyana picked up the enveloped containing the murderer, murder weapon and the place the murder happened and read them out.

'Reverend Green in the Ballroom with the lead pipe!' She read triumphantly. 'Looks like you lose once again, Death baby!'

Death wrote down something else on her pad.

'Best five out of seven?'

'Okay, but this is the last one.' Betsy said. 'This is getting old fast!'

Even later-

Death and Wade were playing rock-paper-scissors. Both combatants shook their hands and made their action of choice.

'Rock!' Wade said as Death made the scissors action. 'You lose once again!'

Death winced in anger after yet another defeat.

'Bye-bye now, don't be a stranger!' Jubilee said as she gave Death a little wave.

Death sneered in disgust and slunk outside before disappearing to wherever she belongs.

'Well that was over surprisingly quickly.' Betsy said. 'I was expecting more of a fight.'

'Death's showing her age, I guess.' Wade replied. 'She has been around since the dawn of creation.'

'Was it true about those rumours?' Jubilee asked. 'Y'know, about you and Death.'

'I cannot confirm nor deny said rumours.' Wade replied as he quickly skirted the issue.

'Geez, talk about one Hell of an age gap!' Angelo winced. 'You actually... did that... with Death?'

'Well, we've kinda got an agreement.' Wade replied. 'She makes sure that I don't die and I won't tell what colour her undies are.'

'Does Death wear panties?' Betsy asked. 'I always figured her to be a commando kind of girl.'

'You gotta keep warm in the Realm of Death, I suppose.' Illyana shrugged.

The next morning-

After their near brush with Death, the gang decided to spend the next day relaxing. Typhoid and Pyro went to visit Matt Murdock to take care of legal matters. Jubilee and Angelo went to visit Logan at Xavier's while Betsy, Wade and Illyana were left alone at HQ.

Illyana was sitting reading a spell book with her feet resting upon a desk while Wade and Betsy were preparing for the next workday. Well, they were supposed to be preparing; Illyana knew that they were most probably making out in the utility closet.

Illyana took a swig form her coffee cup and looked over the edge of her book as somebody breezed into the office.

'Wade, Besty! I need your help!' Meggan Braddock panted as she propped herself up on Illyana's desk.

Illyana rolled her eyes exasperatingly as she put down her book.

'We're closed for the day. If you come back tomorrow, I'm sure we'll get back to you then.' Illyana said, trying to be as civil as possible.

'You don't understand!' Meggan replied, becoming more frantic by the moment. 'It's Baby Betsy, she's been kidnapped! Brian tried looking for her but he's disappeared too!'

As if sensing Meggan's mental anguish, Betsy came rushing out form the utility closet.

'Brian's gone? Any idea who did it?'

'No, that's why I came to you.' Meggan replied. 'Please help him!'

Betsy put her arms around her sister-in-law and comforted her the best she could.

'Don't worry Meggan, we'll find Brain, Baby Betsy too.'

'I just hope he's alright.' Meggan sniffed as she wiped the tears form here eye. 'I don't know what I'd do without him.'

'You want me to call Jubes and the others?' Illyana asked as she picked up the phone.

'No, let them take their time off, this is personal.' Betsy replied. 'The four of us will be able to find Brian and Baby Betsy in no time!'

TBC...

Next: Battle of the Braddocks

Wade, Betsy, Illyana and Meggan follow the trail of Brian and Baby Betsy's kidnapper.