Uncanny Deadpool

Chapter 27: Battle of the Braddockses- Part 2

By

The Uncanny R-Man

Disclaimer- I don't own anything, all familiar characters belong to Marvel.

Shout Outs-

Risty- Worry ye not, everything will work out in the end, more or less.

Agent-G- Yup, Jamie Braddock has always been a bit of a bugger, the twins (Brian and Betsy) were always that favourites in his family.

Jamie Braddock's imaginary castle fortress-

Meggan and Betsy found themselves strung up in a murky dungeon beside a battered and bloodied Brian.

'Nice of you ot mount a rescue.' Brian groaned.

'Oh shut up.' Betsy replied. 'I'm trying to think of a plan…'

'W-where's the baby?' Meggan asked. 'Once Jamie teleported us here and strung us up, he just buggered off somewhere.'

'I think I saw him go somewhere with the kid.' Illyana replied. 'He looked unusually happy with her in his arms.'

'I knew I should have kept a closer eye on him.' Brian sighed. 'Jamie's just too unstable to be left alone without supervision.'

'A little late for regrets now, Bri.' Betsy replied.

'A great lot of good Wade was, he got roasted right away.' Brian said.

'It's nothing he hasn't faced before.' Betsy replied in defence of her boyfriend. 'Wade has died before and he always came back then.'

'I just hope your faith in Wade is well put.' Meggan replied. 'Because we're buggered if he doesn't get here soon.'

Elsewhere-

Several miles away from the castle was the pool of goo that used to be Wade Wilson. The goo then started to reform into a humanoid shape, Deadpool was alive again!

'Man, that's something I don't wanna repeat again.' Wade groaned as he bent the kinks out of his neck. Wade then looked down and noticed something…

'Oh crap, I'm naked!'

Unfortunately, due to the fact that his body was completely destroyed, his healing factor was having trouble keeping him together and as such; his skin took on a scabby, scarred look again.

'I don't care if he's my brother-in-law or not, but I'm gonna kick that jerk's ass for this!' Wade growled as he stormed in the direction of the castle.

'But first I have to find me a weapon…'

Back at Jamie's fortress-

Betsy, Brian, Meggan and Illyana were still strung up in the dungeon when they saw the door open as Jamie walked in with an eerily clam Baby Betsy in his arms.

'You monster, what have you done to my daughter?' Brian hissed as he struggled against his chains.

'Oh I wouldn't worry, little brother.' Jamie replied as he planted a kiss on his niece's forehead. 'The brat's fast asleep.'

'Why do you want me here, anyway?' Illyana asked. 'I'm not even related to you but you've still got me stringed up.'

'Well once I've seen to my siblings and in-laws, I thought that I'd leave you for a little fun.' Jamie replied with a lecherous grin. 'I always have a thing for cute Russian sorceresses.'

'You're sick!' Betsy hissed.

'Oh, is that right?' Jamie snorted. 'I'm the sick one yet you lot locked me in an asylum and didn't even bother to visit.'

'You know we tried to visit you.' Meggan replied. 'But Brian and I were busy in Otherworld and Betsy was dead.'

'They're all bloody useless excuses and you know it.' Jamie hissed. 'That's why I'm going to let the brat live once I've killed you lot. I'm gonna make sure that she has loving parents, unlike some people…'

'Oh, so this is what it boils down to.' Brian snorted. 'This is because Mum and Dad loved us more. It wasn't our fault if you were the insane one.'

'That was your fault!' Jamie hissed. 'You got to be bloody ruler of Otherworld and I got locked in a bloody asylum. That powers should be mine, I'm the oldest!'

'You know, for an insane mutant kidnapper, you sure do bitch a lot!'

Jamie spun around just in time to get hit in the face with a rock, causing him to catapult the baby on to a nearby pile of rags.

'Wade!' Betsy gasped. 'You're alive!'

'And you're all scabby.' Illyana winced.

'And semi-naked.' Meggan added as she took in the sight of the now-scarred and rag-clad Deadpool.

'Dammit!' Jamie hissed. 'I knew I should have made sure you were dead!'

'What can I say?' Wade shrugged. 'I got better.'

'I'm gonna tear you apart with my bare hands!'

'Bring it, bitch face!' Wade challenged.

Jamie charged at Wade with a feral yell. Wade was ready for him and threw him against the wall.

'Wade, the baby!' Meggan yelled.

Wade ran to check up on Baby Betsy but Jamie threw a discarded wooden shield at his legs, knocking him down. He then leapt on to Wade's back and began to bash his face against the floor.

'This time I'm gonna make sure you're bloody well dead, you hear me? Dead!'

'Bored now…' Wade sighed as he elbowed Jamie in the gut and kicked him in the face. 'Now why don't you get over this little Mommie never loved me thing and give us the kid, okay?'

'Rrraaaaagh!' Jamie screamed as he charged at Wade once more. Wade tried to dodge but Jamie was too fats and knocked them both out of the window.

'Wade, no!' Betsy screamed, fearing that she had lost him once again.

Outside, Wade was barely hanging on to the ledge while Jamie was holding on to his leg.

'Gonna kill you!' Jamie yelled as he yanked on Wade's leg, trying to pull him down.

'It'll take more than a multi-story fall to kill me, buddy.' Wade replied. 'But what about you, can your reality warping powers kick in before you fall to your death?'

Jamie just swore incoherently back at him.

'Let me ask you something Jamie.' Wade said. 'You ever dance with the Devil by the pal moonlight?'

'What the bloody hell are you talking about, you idiot?' Jamie replied.

Wade just kicked Jamie in the face, making him lose his grip.

Jamie fell down to the ground with a scream, trying to hope that his reality warping powers would kick in before he was turned into pavement pizza. Fortunately, his powers kicked in. Unfortunately for Jamie, instead of changing the ground into something soft like rubber or marshmallow, the ground changed into a row of deadly spikes.

Wade winced and turned away as Jamie was impaled on the spikes.

'Man, what a way to go…'

Inside-

Betsy and co gasped in surprise as they saw Wade slowly climb back in through the window.

'That scream…?' Meggan asked.

'Yeah, it was Jamie.' Wade replied as he rubbed his back. 'He's got more perforations than a teabag.'

'I guess there wasn't any other way.' Brian sighed.

'So, you gonna get us out of here or stand around chatting?' Illyana asked.

Wade grabbed Illyana's chains and yanked them off. Illyana then conjured up a Soul Sword and cut the others free.

Meggan ran over to check up on Baby Betsy and found that she was still asleep.

'Hunh, she slept straight through it.' She said.

Betsy then noticed that Wade seemed depressed.

'Sweetie, what's wrong?' Betsy asked as she put her arms around Wade's waist.

Wade pulled away for her touch.

'Don't…' Wade said, hiding his face.

'Wade, I don't care if you're scarred again.' Betsy replied. 'I love you, no matter how you look.'

'But how could you make love to somebody like me?' Wade asked as he indicated his scarred body.

'Wade, please believe me.' Betsy replied as she took hold of his shoulders and turned him to face her. 'I love you…'

Wade looked back in to his girlfriend's and saw utter honesty. A small smile spread on his face as he put his arms around her shoulders.

'Just a little worried, I guess.' Wade said embarrassedly.

'I don't know why you were.' Betsy replied. 'I used to fancy Cyclops, remember?'

'Some women have no taste.' Illyana snorted. 'Now, can we go home now?'

'We're ready.' Meggan replied as she held Baby Betsy close.

Illyana nodded and conjured up a stepping disc home.

Several days later-

Wade, now wearing his old red and black mask, was sitting in his office back at BLEW HQ. He was thinking of changing the name as Jubilee and Angelo had both given in their notice in favour of rejoining the X-Men and Typhoid and Pyro had both moved to Australia. Perhaps he could renew the old Deadpool Inc. thing.

Wade looked up as Betsy poked her head around the door.

'Wade, can you come out here for a sec? Illyana wants to have a word.'

'Sure, just gimmie a sec and I'll be right out.' Wade replied.

Betsy nodded and popped back out.

Wade got up from his desk and made his way out to the reception area. Betsy was standing there with Illyana, who had her hand full with some cases.

'You taking a trip, 'Yana?' Wade asked.

'That's what I wanted to talk to you about.' Illyana replied. 'I hope you don't think I'm deserting you but I'm going to join the X-Men. It's been fun and all but I don't think I really fit in here with you guys.'

'Well we can't force you to stay.' Wade replied. 'We'll miss you.'

'Make sure you call, okay?' Betsy replied as she gave the blonde a quick hug.

'Yeah, I'll give you a call once I get settled in.' Illyana replied as she returned the hug. 'Bye guys!'

Wade and Betsy waved goodbye as Illyana conjured a stepping disc and stepped inside.

'Well, it looks like we'd better get recruiting for some temps.' Wade said.

'And a new name.' Betsy replied. 'We can't call ourselves BLEW Detective Agency when Jubilee and Angelo have gone.'

'What about Deadpool Inc?' Wade asked.

'Don't you bloody well dare!' Betsy hissed as she swatted Wade on the arm.

TBC…

Next: A Temp, a Temp, my Kingdom for a Temp

Deadpool Inc gets its first lot of temps, Theresa Cassidy (Siryn), Lyja the Skrull, Jocasta, Felicia Hardy (Black Cat) and Maya Lopez (Echo).