Doomsday V.S. The Avengers
"I'm...I'm okay. Just had my head knocked off, I'm, I'm...Geez...Maybe I should start carrying aspirin..."
I've taken some nasty hits in my day. I've still got some bruises from Morlun. I've still got a numb spot on my jaw from the first time I met the Hulk. Osborn holds the record for worst mental blows. It seems like every time I turn around, someone is beating the crap out of me. I really think half my career as Spider-Man has been spent in unconsciousness.
But this creature...When he hit me...Let's just say I seriously need to visit the chiropractor when this is all over. Assuming I'm even alive when this is all over; the odds of that aren't looking too good. Definitely should have stayed in bed.
I'm dizzy, my head feels like it on fire, but I'm alive and conscious, just barely. I crawl out of the water tower...Well, more like, I stumble out of the water tower and nearly land on my head, walking over to the side of the building and webbing up the left side of my mask, which the beast completely ripped off when he clobbered me. Out of the one eye that isn't all bruised up like Sylvester Stallone in a Rocky movie, I look down to see the creature facing off with the Avengers: Captain America, She-Hulk, Iron- Man, Quicksilver, and the Scarlet Witch. I'd feel a lot better if Thor was around, honestly, but hey, you take what you can get.
"Spider-Man!" Captain America calls out to me, as the monster inexplicably stands still for the first time today, as if waiting for the Avengers to move. Cap points to some red blotch in the ground, and at first I think it's just trash or something, but when I look closer I realize what kind of trash it is: It's that Redpool loon from earlier. In the split second between getting hit and crashing into the water tower, I was sure that the creature was going to rip this guy into pieces. Don't ask me how, but he seems to be alive, give or take a few organs. I'm ashamed to admit I'm a little disappointed he's still alive, if I have to here this guy talk about his private parts again I might just whack him myself. And I don't mean that in the same way he would. I guess Captain America wants me to bring him to a safe distance, and while I don't much like the idea of getting his idiot blood all over me, the Cap asked me too. And you just don't refuse the Cap.
"All right, Avengers." Captain America says, as I slowly shimmy down the wall. If really don't want that thing seeing me; if he attacks me now they'd need tweezers to pick up what was left of me. "I want a clean sweep on this guy. Pietro, you've got distraction duty. Wanda, stay at a distance and ready you're chaos magic, but don't hit him until I give the word. She- Hulk, Iron Man...Lead the charge."
"You sure you don't want to wait for winghead to show up?" She-Hulk asks, as she braces her back like a linebacker, Iron Man pulling up next to her as they prepare to take the beast head on. "We're missing some serious muscle."
"Jan and Hawkeye are looking for him right now, but until he comes, we just have to work that much harder to pick up the slack." The beast lets out a deafening roar, and if I hadn't gone earlier this morning, I might have just wet my tights. "Let's show how we throw down in this universe people! Avengers, TAKE HIM OUT!"
"All right, pretty boy, dance time!" She-Hulk says, as she and Iron Man run straight at him. The monster throws a blow at She-Hulk, but she easily dodges under it, landing blow to the monster's stomach that stuns him for the first time, and Iron Man light's his face on fire with one of his light beam...Thingies. I don't know what you call it; anyway, the freak doesn't seem to like it at all. And I thought he got pissed when I hit him.
"Keep your distance!" Iron-Man says, the two of them backing of as the creature starts swinging wildly. "Scanners are picking up some weird readings from this guy! He might have some tricks, so stay sharp!"
"How's he going to use his tricks if we lay him out?" She-Hulk says, taking a jump back and then leaping forward, shooting her heel into the creatures face. Before she can get back to safe distance, it recovers and grabs her by the legs, slamming her face first into the ground.
"Jen!" Iron Man says, as it lifts her back up for another slam. "Drop her, you freak!" Iron Man gets in close and fires a blast straight into it's chest, making him drop She-Hulk and stunning him longer enough for Iron Man to carry her to safety.
"Wanda!" Captain America calls out behind him to the Scarlet Witch as I spot the Silver Surfer crawling back to the surface. He looks like he's seen much better days, but he's already started to heal up. He looks better than me, at any rate. "Hit him now!"
"No, you mustn't!" The Surfer cries. "The reaction will-"
The monster starts to glow, as energy starts to draw into his body. My previous experience with out energy-drawing beings tells me nothing good is going to come from this. He lets out a single roar and the entire area is engulfed in a blue light, the power forcing everything into the air in a powerful cyclone, ripping the me and the wall I was sticking to in the air.
"Help or quick death would be extremely appreciated right now!" The crazy merc says, as he goes flying in front. "Preferably help!" I wrap him up in webbing, partly to cushion him in the fall, and partly to make him shut up. As the cyclone eases up, I land on the ground and he lands in the web cocoon, nice and quiet.
"Mmmpphmmm!" I'm sure he's saying such interesting things under that webbing. Against my better judgment, I rip him out. "Yuck, what is this stuff?!" He says, completely healed. And I thought Wolverine was good. Maybe he wasn't kidding about not being able to die. "Gah, it itches, itches in unsightly places!" He stood up, scratching all over, even in his "gentleman parts". He stops to look me over. "Damn, you got messed up. Your head is swelling up like a grape. Too bad you don't have a healing factor like me, huh? Hahaha, Ow, organs not fully formed, it hurts to laugh, it hurts laugh! Ha ha OW! Ha ha OW!" There is something wrong with this guy. "Ah, happy/pain moment over." He says, going over to the side of the building to look down into the wave of ash rising up the ground. "Did that thing self destruct or something? Please tell me he self destructed, it would fill my day with sunshine. Or better yet, tell me he self destructed and his face and lips are still in tact, so he may fulfill his ass-kissing duties." Except for that last part about his rear end (I swear, I am THIS close to just pushing him over the edge.) I have to agree that self- destructing would be sweet, but that would be easy, and my life is never easy. The giant frame coming through the smoke and the sound of "RAHHHR" echoing through the sky reminds me of that.
"Is everyone alright?" Captain America asked, emerging from the rubble.
"Never been better." She-Hulk said, throwing off the chunk of building Iron Man and she were under. "You okay shell-head?"
"Fine, just wishing I packed my Hulk-Buster equipment this morning."
"We're okay." Quicksilver said, speeding back to the scene with Scarlet Witch in his arms. "Surprised, though. I thought we were dealing with a Hulk clone."
"A nearly accurate assumption." The Avengers look above them to see the Silver Surfer hovering.
"Surfer!" Captain America said. "What is that thing?"
"A being I found at the End of Time." The monster emerged from the smoke, a white aura glowing around his body. "He is quite malevolent, as you can see."
"Is it just my imagination, or is Ugly Man actually getting bigger?" Redpool says.
He's right, that thing does seem to be getting bigger, either that or my eyesight is worse than I thought. If have to start wearing glasses again..."You know, I'm not feeling up to it exactly, but you're looking all right." I say. "Maybe you should go down there and help them."
The monster let out another roar. "Nah, I think I'm cool up here, thank you muchly. I'm just waiting for the right time to go down there and unleash my fearsome power upon him, you know."
"Sure you are."
The Surfer came to Captain America's level, as the creature began to advance on them. "The physiology of this creature is unlike any I've ever seen. He is a constantly evolving organism, changing, learning from each experience. I came upon him, but I discovered his malice too late."
"So now we know where he came from, at least." Iron Man says. "Can you explain these power reading I'm getting?"
"He has taken a good deal of my power inside himself, and he has become different from his original self. All the cosmic energies in the universe, the energies that I depend on for my own power, are being absorbed into him. I believe Scarlet Witch's power actually increased the power in him somehow, and his power is now escalating at an alarming rate."
"Translation: Our job just got a lot harder." She-Hulk taks a step to the front, as the monster begins to go on the charge again. "Here he comes!" Before he can complete his charge, an arrow flies through the air and crashes into his chest, exploding on contact.
"Hawkeye!" Cap says, as the archer fired another shot from a nearby building.
"The one and only! And guess who I brought with me. Come on, guess."
The sky suddenly darkens, as the sound of thunder begin to rumble in the distance. Even the monster seems awed by the display, but he doesn't get to look for long, a lighting bolt streaks out of the sky and sends him flying into a building.
"Vile fiend!" The words of the God of Thunder boom through the air.
"Oh my, God!" Redpoll says, as the god's figure descends from the clouds. "It's Fabio!" The sad thing is, I don't think he's joking about that.
"You can't be serious. Tell me your not serious. You do live in this universe, don't you? That's Thor!"
"Whore?"
"Thor!"
My head hurts enough without talking to this guy...The creature rips it's way out of the rock, as Thor lands in front. "Hear the words of Thor, creature, and listen well: Thou hast shown great, even from the mighty Halls of Valhalla, far and away from lowly Midgard, could yon power be felt. Thou hast ample power, more vehement than any foe of mortal flesh; greater, perhaps, e'en than rampaging Hulk! Therefore: A challenge! We shall brutally engage in mortal combat! Dost thou accept?" He points his hammer to the beast, who responds by bellowing and sending out a wave of energy, his power colliding with Thor's. The beasts energy grows stronger and larger, and for a moment it looks like he can actually overpower Thor, but the god lets out a yell and batters the wave back, the energy crashing back on the monster and sending out a shockwave.
"Maybe we should get to a safer distance..." I say, taking a step back. "Like the moon..."
"What, and leave when it's getting good?" Redpool says, munching on a corndog that I have no idea where he got. He doesn't seem have any corndog friendly pockets, so I have my guesses as to were he put it. "Please. Make yourself, useful, get some popcorn or something. Or better yet, M&M's! And not the crappy crispy kind either or the mini ones, get Chocolate or Peanut Butter, you hear me?"
Before I could tell this guy how stupid he was, the monster jumped out the cloud of smoke, heading for Thor. Captain America was about to get the Avenger's moving, but Thor stopped. "Avengers, hold thy place! Do not waste thou might on such unworthy an enemy. By mine own strength and the power of Mjolnir shall this beast meet his ruin! Come, foul beast!" Thor says, launching himself right into the monster's full fury. "Thy end draws ever nigh!"
Next Up:
Doomsday V.S. Thor: Ragnorak
"I'm...I'm okay. Just had my head knocked off, I'm, I'm...Geez...Maybe I should start carrying aspirin..."
I've taken some nasty hits in my day. I've still got some bruises from Morlun. I've still got a numb spot on my jaw from the first time I met the Hulk. Osborn holds the record for worst mental blows. It seems like every time I turn around, someone is beating the crap out of me. I really think half my career as Spider-Man has been spent in unconsciousness.
But this creature...When he hit me...Let's just say I seriously need to visit the chiropractor when this is all over. Assuming I'm even alive when this is all over; the odds of that aren't looking too good. Definitely should have stayed in bed.
I'm dizzy, my head feels like it on fire, but I'm alive and conscious, just barely. I crawl out of the water tower...Well, more like, I stumble out of the water tower and nearly land on my head, walking over to the side of the building and webbing up the left side of my mask, which the beast completely ripped off when he clobbered me. Out of the one eye that isn't all bruised up like Sylvester Stallone in a Rocky movie, I look down to see the creature facing off with the Avengers: Captain America, She-Hulk, Iron- Man, Quicksilver, and the Scarlet Witch. I'd feel a lot better if Thor was around, honestly, but hey, you take what you can get.
"Spider-Man!" Captain America calls out to me, as the monster inexplicably stands still for the first time today, as if waiting for the Avengers to move. Cap points to some red blotch in the ground, and at first I think it's just trash or something, but when I look closer I realize what kind of trash it is: It's that Redpool loon from earlier. In the split second between getting hit and crashing into the water tower, I was sure that the creature was going to rip this guy into pieces. Don't ask me how, but he seems to be alive, give or take a few organs. I'm ashamed to admit I'm a little disappointed he's still alive, if I have to here this guy talk about his private parts again I might just whack him myself. And I don't mean that in the same way he would. I guess Captain America wants me to bring him to a safe distance, and while I don't much like the idea of getting his idiot blood all over me, the Cap asked me too. And you just don't refuse the Cap.
"All right, Avengers." Captain America says, as I slowly shimmy down the wall. If really don't want that thing seeing me; if he attacks me now they'd need tweezers to pick up what was left of me. "I want a clean sweep on this guy. Pietro, you've got distraction duty. Wanda, stay at a distance and ready you're chaos magic, but don't hit him until I give the word. She- Hulk, Iron Man...Lead the charge."
"You sure you don't want to wait for winghead to show up?" She-Hulk asks, as she braces her back like a linebacker, Iron Man pulling up next to her as they prepare to take the beast head on. "We're missing some serious muscle."
"Jan and Hawkeye are looking for him right now, but until he comes, we just have to work that much harder to pick up the slack." The beast lets out a deafening roar, and if I hadn't gone earlier this morning, I might have just wet my tights. "Let's show how we throw down in this universe people! Avengers, TAKE HIM OUT!"
"All right, pretty boy, dance time!" She-Hulk says, as she and Iron Man run straight at him. The monster throws a blow at She-Hulk, but she easily dodges under it, landing blow to the monster's stomach that stuns him for the first time, and Iron Man light's his face on fire with one of his light beam...Thingies. I don't know what you call it; anyway, the freak doesn't seem to like it at all. And I thought he got pissed when I hit him.
"Keep your distance!" Iron-Man says, the two of them backing of as the creature starts swinging wildly. "Scanners are picking up some weird readings from this guy! He might have some tricks, so stay sharp!"
"How's he going to use his tricks if we lay him out?" She-Hulk says, taking a jump back and then leaping forward, shooting her heel into the creatures face. Before she can get back to safe distance, it recovers and grabs her by the legs, slamming her face first into the ground.
"Jen!" Iron Man says, as it lifts her back up for another slam. "Drop her, you freak!" Iron Man gets in close and fires a blast straight into it's chest, making him drop She-Hulk and stunning him longer enough for Iron Man to carry her to safety.
"Wanda!" Captain America calls out behind him to the Scarlet Witch as I spot the Silver Surfer crawling back to the surface. He looks like he's seen much better days, but he's already started to heal up. He looks better than me, at any rate. "Hit him now!"
"No, you mustn't!" The Surfer cries. "The reaction will-"
The monster starts to glow, as energy starts to draw into his body. My previous experience with out energy-drawing beings tells me nothing good is going to come from this. He lets out a single roar and the entire area is engulfed in a blue light, the power forcing everything into the air in a powerful cyclone, ripping the me and the wall I was sticking to in the air.
"Help or quick death would be extremely appreciated right now!" The crazy merc says, as he goes flying in front. "Preferably help!" I wrap him up in webbing, partly to cushion him in the fall, and partly to make him shut up. As the cyclone eases up, I land on the ground and he lands in the web cocoon, nice and quiet.
"Mmmpphmmm!" I'm sure he's saying such interesting things under that webbing. Against my better judgment, I rip him out. "Yuck, what is this stuff?!" He says, completely healed. And I thought Wolverine was good. Maybe he wasn't kidding about not being able to die. "Gah, it itches, itches in unsightly places!" He stood up, scratching all over, even in his "gentleman parts". He stops to look me over. "Damn, you got messed up. Your head is swelling up like a grape. Too bad you don't have a healing factor like me, huh? Hahaha, Ow, organs not fully formed, it hurts to laugh, it hurts laugh! Ha ha OW! Ha ha OW!" There is something wrong with this guy. "Ah, happy/pain moment over." He says, going over to the side of the building to look down into the wave of ash rising up the ground. "Did that thing self destruct or something? Please tell me he self destructed, it would fill my day with sunshine. Or better yet, tell me he self destructed and his face and lips are still in tact, so he may fulfill his ass-kissing duties." Except for that last part about his rear end (I swear, I am THIS close to just pushing him over the edge.) I have to agree that self- destructing would be sweet, but that would be easy, and my life is never easy. The giant frame coming through the smoke and the sound of "RAHHHR" echoing through the sky reminds me of that.
"Is everyone alright?" Captain America asked, emerging from the rubble.
"Never been better." She-Hulk said, throwing off the chunk of building Iron Man and she were under. "You okay shell-head?"
"Fine, just wishing I packed my Hulk-Buster equipment this morning."
"We're okay." Quicksilver said, speeding back to the scene with Scarlet Witch in his arms. "Surprised, though. I thought we were dealing with a Hulk clone."
"A nearly accurate assumption." The Avengers look above them to see the Silver Surfer hovering.
"Surfer!" Captain America said. "What is that thing?"
"A being I found at the End of Time." The monster emerged from the smoke, a white aura glowing around his body. "He is quite malevolent, as you can see."
"Is it just my imagination, or is Ugly Man actually getting bigger?" Redpool says.
He's right, that thing does seem to be getting bigger, either that or my eyesight is worse than I thought. If have to start wearing glasses again..."You know, I'm not feeling up to it exactly, but you're looking all right." I say. "Maybe you should go down there and help them."
The monster let out another roar. "Nah, I think I'm cool up here, thank you muchly. I'm just waiting for the right time to go down there and unleash my fearsome power upon him, you know."
"Sure you are."
The Surfer came to Captain America's level, as the creature began to advance on them. "The physiology of this creature is unlike any I've ever seen. He is a constantly evolving organism, changing, learning from each experience. I came upon him, but I discovered his malice too late."
"So now we know where he came from, at least." Iron Man says. "Can you explain these power reading I'm getting?"
"He has taken a good deal of my power inside himself, and he has become different from his original self. All the cosmic energies in the universe, the energies that I depend on for my own power, are being absorbed into him. I believe Scarlet Witch's power actually increased the power in him somehow, and his power is now escalating at an alarming rate."
"Translation: Our job just got a lot harder." She-Hulk taks a step to the front, as the monster begins to go on the charge again. "Here he comes!" Before he can complete his charge, an arrow flies through the air and crashes into his chest, exploding on contact.
"Hawkeye!" Cap says, as the archer fired another shot from a nearby building.
"The one and only! And guess who I brought with me. Come on, guess."
The sky suddenly darkens, as the sound of thunder begin to rumble in the distance. Even the monster seems awed by the display, but he doesn't get to look for long, a lighting bolt streaks out of the sky and sends him flying into a building.
"Vile fiend!" The words of the God of Thunder boom through the air.
"Oh my, God!" Redpoll says, as the god's figure descends from the clouds. "It's Fabio!" The sad thing is, I don't think he's joking about that.
"You can't be serious. Tell me your not serious. You do live in this universe, don't you? That's Thor!"
"Whore?"
"Thor!"
My head hurts enough without talking to this guy...The creature rips it's way out of the rock, as Thor lands in front. "Hear the words of Thor, creature, and listen well: Thou hast shown great, even from the mighty Halls of Valhalla, far and away from lowly Midgard, could yon power be felt. Thou hast ample power, more vehement than any foe of mortal flesh; greater, perhaps, e'en than rampaging Hulk! Therefore: A challenge! We shall brutally engage in mortal combat! Dost thou accept?" He points his hammer to the beast, who responds by bellowing and sending out a wave of energy, his power colliding with Thor's. The beasts energy grows stronger and larger, and for a moment it looks like he can actually overpower Thor, but the god lets out a yell and batters the wave back, the energy crashing back on the monster and sending out a shockwave.
"Maybe we should get to a safer distance..." I say, taking a step back. "Like the moon..."
"What, and leave when it's getting good?" Redpool says, munching on a corndog that I have no idea where he got. He doesn't seem have any corndog friendly pockets, so I have my guesses as to were he put it. "Please. Make yourself, useful, get some popcorn or something. Or better yet, M&M's! And not the crappy crispy kind either or the mini ones, get Chocolate or Peanut Butter, you hear me?"
Before I could tell this guy how stupid he was, the monster jumped out the cloud of smoke, heading for Thor. Captain America was about to get the Avenger's moving, but Thor stopped. "Avengers, hold thy place! Do not waste thou might on such unworthy an enemy. By mine own strength and the power of Mjolnir shall this beast meet his ruin! Come, foul beast!" Thor says, launching himself right into the monster's full fury. "Thy end draws ever nigh!"
Next Up:
Doomsday V.S. Thor: Ragnorak