Congrats to Devon Pucel who won! *Crowd goes wild* Songs here are not at all mine. Key: Ron Faye Guys Girls Everyone. Ok? Ok.
Chapter 9: Everyone, Sing Along!
After the incident with the boggart, everyone sorta stayed cleared of Faye. They stayed clear of Ron too. Who knew what prank Faye would pull off? All they knew that it was going to be bad. Very bad.
"I just wish she would hurry up and do it. But noooo. She has to have me sweat it out for a week now. I can't even turn the corner without fear of being hexed," Ron sighed.
"You can't say you don't deserve it. You put a boggart in her trunk. I would have kicked your ass," Ginny pointed out.
"What was up with her boggart? The thing she fears is her gone evil?" Harry pondered.
"She's mental, that one," Ron sat back in his chair. It was early on the morning in the Gryiffindor common area. Barely anyone was around. Faye entered, gave a smile to Ginny, and sat at a table. Ginny went and sat with her. As the common area began to fill up, Dean strutted in. He spent the night with Mary in Ravenclaw. He told all the guys he would but no one believed him.
Some guy called Devon and exclaimed, "Did you just get back?"
Harry noticed that Faye was staring at Ron, "Ron . . . "
Dean looked at guy, "Baby, got back!"
All of a sudden, music came out of nowhere. It had a funky beat to it. No one could find the source.
♪I like big butts and I can no lie.
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty-bitty waist
And a round thing in your face,
You get sprung.♪
Everybody turned to Ron. He was standing on the table, singing the song. He was wearing baggy pants with a shirt that said, "Hard Knock Life," and wearing a chain with a W medallion.
♪Wanna pull up front
Cause you notice that butt was stuffed.
Deep in the jeans, she's wearin'.
I'm hooked and I can't stop starin'. ♪
Devon conjured a cardboard box and started to break dance on it
♪Oh, baby I wanna get with ya
And take your picture.
My homeboys try to warn me.
But that butt you got makes
Me so horny.
Oh all of that smooth skin,
You say you wanna get in my Benz.
Well, use me, use me
Cause you ain't that average groupie.♪
Ron jumped off the table and proceeded to slap a couple girls' asses. Faye was laughing hers off. Devon was still breaking it down.
♪I've seen them dancin'
The hell with romancin'
Sweat, wet, got it goin like a turbo vette
I'm tired of magazines
Saying flat butts are the thing
Take the average black man and ask him that
She gotta pack much back
So, fellas YEAH
Fellas YEAH
Has your girlfriend got the butt, HELL YEAH
Well, tell her to shake it, SHAKE IT
shake it, SHAKE IT
shake that healthy butt
Baby got back
I like'em round and big
And when I'm throwin a gig
I just can't help myself
I'm actin like an animal
Now here's my scandal
I wanna get you home
And (grunt), double up (grunt, grunt)♪
All the guys were surprised, when they responded when they did. Colin was taking pictures non-stop. Faye was still rolling on the floor in laughter. Ron was still smacking asses.
♪I aint talkin bout playboy
Cause silicone parts were made for toys
I wann'em real thick and juicy
So find that juicy double
Mixalot's in trouble
Beggin for a piece of that bubble
So I'm lookin' at rock videos
Watchin' these bimbos walkin like hoes
You can have them bimbos
I'll keep my women like Flo Jo
A word to the thick soul sistas
I wanna get with ya
I won't cus or hit ya
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna (moan)
Til the break of dawn
I got it goin on
Alot of pimps won't like this song
Cuz them punks lie to hit it and quit it
But I'd rather stay and play
Cuz I'm long and I'm strong
And I'm down to get the friction on♪
Mia walked in and was shocked at what she saw. Ron grabbing his "area", rapping like he was an expert.
♪So ladies YEAH, Ladies YEAH
If you wanna role in my Mercedes YEAH
Then turn around
Stick it out
Even white boys got to shout
Baby got back
Yeah baby
When it comes to females
Cosmo and got nothin to do with my selection
36-24-36
Only if she's 5'3"
So your girlfriend throws a Honda
Playin workout tapes by Fonda
But Fonda ain't got motor in the back of her Honda
My anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns, hon.
You can do side bends or sit-ups, but please don't lose that butt♪
Ron finished his song. Everyone clapped and cheered. Ron went back to his normal clothing and walked straight up to Faye. She was still laughing.
"What did you do to me?" he demanded.
"Hold that thought," she turned to Devon. "What were you doing? He was under a spell but you?"
"Um . . ." he couldn't respond because Lavender pulled him away, gushing over his dance moves.
"Simple," Faye turned Ron. "I put a spell on you. Whenever someone says your name, whatever they say afterwards, you have to sing and dance to. I guess you can say it's, Ron, witchcraft." Once again, music came from nowhere. This time, it was a pretty ballad.
♪Those fingers in my hair
That sly come hither stare
That strips my conscience bare
It's witchcraft♪
Ron, this time, was wearing a muggle tux. He spun out and held his hand out to Faye. Faye looked down and realized she was wearing a gown. She had the impulse to join him. So, she did. Colin was taking pictures like always.
♪And I've got no defense for it,
The heat is too intense for it.
What good would common sense for it do?
'Cause it's witchcraft,
Wicked witchcraft,
Era And although I know it's strictly taboo
When you arouse the need in me,
My heart says yes indeed in me,
Precede with what you're leading me to♪
While being twirled by Ron, she couldn't help to realize he cleaned up nice. Really nice.
♪It's such an ancient pitch,
But one I wouldn't switch,
'Cause there's no nicer witch than you♪
During the instrumental break, they were dancing like professionals. They didn't want to admit it but they were having a fun time. Faye and Ron were giving evil glares but they were still dancing. Ron dipped Faye in a difficult dip and everyone clapped. As he pulled her up, he whispered in her ear "You suck."
♪'Cause it's witchcraft,
That crazy witchcraft,
And although I know it's strictly taboo
When you arouse the need in me,
My heart says yes indeed in me,
Proceed with what you're leading me to...
It's such an ancient pitch,
But one that I would never switch,
'Cause there's no nicer witch than you♪
The music stopped and you can hear Lavender crying, "You're dumping me. I'm dying!"
Devon look shocked "We were never going out. Don't cry. What do you want me to do?"
Faye and Ron went back to their clothes. "You know what's really fun? To say your name, and watch what whatever people say next. Example: Ron."
"Bring me to life," Lavender pulled him in for a kiss. Once again, music came out of nowhere. Everyone waited for Ron to sing. However, it was Faye that started to sing.
♪How can you see into my eyes, like open doors?
Leading you down into my core
Where I've become so numb
Without a soul
My spirit's sleeping somewhere cold
Until you find it there and lead it back home♪
What was going on? Why was she singing? She looked down and noticed she was wearing leather pants and a red tank top.
♪Wake me up Wake me up inside
I can't wake up Wake me up inside
Save me Call my name and save me from the dark
Wake me up Bid my blood to run
I can't wake up Before I come undone
Save me Save me from the nothing I've become♪
Ron seemed a little disappointed he had to sing. He was wearing a leather jacket with ripped blue jeans. Once again, Faye had to notice he looked cute with his hair all spiked up.
♪Now that I know what I'm without
You can't just leave me
Breathe into me and make me real
Bring me
To life
Wake me up, Wake me up inside
I can't wake up Wake me up inside
Save me Call my name and save me from the dark
Wake me up Bid my blood to run
I can't wake up Before I come undone
Save me Save me from the nothing I've become♪
Faye finally realized when he needs more people to do the song, they'll join. This was bad. It was all fun when it was only him. But imagine if the whole class had to join.
♪Bring me to life
I've been living a lie . . . There's nothing inside
Bring me to life
Frozen inside without your touch
Without your love, darling
Only you are the life among the dead♪
Ron was enjoying the way this came to bite her in the ass. But he didn't enjoying the way she was coming at him. He really didn't the way he was coming at her.
♪All of this I, I can't believe I couldn't see
Kept in the dark, but you were there in front of me
I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems
Got to open my eyes to everything
Without a thought, without a voice, without a soul
Don't let me die here There must be something more
Bring me to life♪
They were now in each other's arms. They didn't want to but they really didn't have a choice. They couldn't control the way they were leaning closer and closer . . .
♪Wake me up Wake me up inside
I can't wake up Wake me up inside
Save me Call my name and save me from the dark
Wake me up Bid my blood to run
I can't wake up Before I come undone
Save me Save me from the nothing I've become
Bring me to life
I've been living a lie . . . There's nothing inside
Bring me to life♪
The music finally stopped just as Ron and Faye's lips were barely touching. They pushed a way from each other.
"Shit, I need to find the counter-curse." Faye muttered as she walked to her room.
"Oh, so it's ok for me to go sing and slapping girls' arses, but you can't even sing one measly song!" Ron said outraged.
"You idiot. Think, what's going to happen when you're required to sing a group musical?"
"Shit."
All of breakfast, the gang stayed in to find the counter-curse. They poured over all the books Faye checked out of the library.
"Next time you hex someone, mark the page," Mia grumbled.
"Sorry, I forgot." Faye mumbled.
"Guys, we got to go. We got Hagrid's class to go to." Harry got up
"Look on the bright side, you got one book left." Ginny gave to Faye. She grabbed the book and ran with the others outside.
As Hagrid began class, Faye sat in the back, flipping pages trying to find that spell. Meanwhile, Hagrid was lecturing about mermecolions. Ron looked at the thing in disgust. It had to be one of the strangest things Hagrid ever shown. It had the body of ant with the head of a lion.
"Now, these things don't live long. Why? Hermione,"
"The lion part eats meat and the ant part can not digest the meat."
"Exactly. 10 points to Gryiffindor. Anybody want to feed it? Anyone? Ron?" All the Gryiffindor froze. Faye looked up in horror. "Be our guest." Once more music came out of nowhere.
♪Be our guest!
Be our guest!
Put our service to the test
Tie your napkin 'round your neck, cherie
And we provide the rest.
Soup du jour
Hot hors d'oeuvres
Why, we only live to serve
Try the grey stuff
It's delicious!
You don't believe me? Ask the dishes♪
Ron was wearing normal clothes for once. All the Slytherins and Hagrid were looking at Ron like he was insane. Faye was turning pages even faster now, and all the muggle-borns were dreading the next part.
♪Soup du jour
Hot hors d'oeuvres
Why, we only live to serve
Try the grey stuff
It's delicious!
You don't believe me? Ask the dishes
They can sing
They can dance
After all, Miss, this is France
And a dinner here is never second best
Go on unfold your menu
Take a glass and then you'll
Be our guest
Oui, our guest
Be our guest♪
Everyone grabbed a partner and began to dance Broadway style.
♪Beef ragout
Cheese souffle
Pie and pudding "en flambe"
We'll prepare and serve with flair
A culinary cabaret!
You're alone
And you're scared
But the banquet's all prepared
No one's gloomy or complaining
While the flatware's entertaining
We tell jokes
I do tricks
With my fellow candlesticks
And it's all in perfect taste
That you can bet
Come on and lift your glass
You've won your own free pass
To be our guest♪
Ron was juggling with candlesticks that magically appeared. The Slytherins had no clue what was going on and was looking pissed about it. Hagrid though, was having a good time. While dancing, Faye was still looking for the spell.
♪If you're stressed,
It's fine dining we suggest!
Be our guest!
Be our guest!
Be our guest!
Life is so unnerving
For a servant whose not serving
He's not whole without a soul to wait upon
Ah, those good old days when we were useful
Suddenly those good old days are gone
Ten years we've been rusting
Needing so much more than dusting
Needing exercise, a chance to use our skills
Most days we just lay around the castle
Flabby, fat and lazy
You walked in and oops-a-daisy! ♪
She found the spell finally, but it was time for her solo . . .
♪It's a guest!
It's a guest!
Sakes alive, well I'll be blessed!
Wines' been poured and thank the Lord
I've had the napkins freshly pressed
With dessert
She'll want tea
And my dear that's fine with me
While the cups do their soft-shoein'
I'll be bubbling, I'll be brewing
I'll get warm
Piping hot
Heaven's sakes! Is that a spot?
Clean it up! We want the company impressed
We've got a lot to do!
Is it one lump or two?
For you, our guest!
She's our guest!
She's our guest!
She's our guest! ♪
The entire class proceeded to get into a line and started to do the can-can.
♪Be our guest
Be our guest
Our command is your request
It's been years since we've had anybody here
And we're obsessed
With your meal
With your ease
Yes, indeed, we aim to please
While the candlelight's still glowing
Let us help you
We'll keep going
Course by course
One by one
'Til you shout, "Enough! I'm done!"
Then we'll sing you off to sleep as you digest
Tonight you'll prop your feet up
But for now, let's eat up
Be our guest!
Be our guest!
Be our guest!
Please, be our guest! ♪
As the song ended, Faye pulled out her wand and said the magic words, "dementia desino" Ron looked at Faye. "Ron, blue moon!" No music, no funky costume, nada. All the Gryiffindors sighed a sigh of relief. The other half of the class still had no idea what just happened.
Hagrid looked deeply puzzled as he dismissed the class 45 minutes early.