Poor Mary Sue

Summary: A normal character is taken into the YuGiOh world by a fan writer and turned into a Mary-Sue against her will. Can anyone save her before she is trapped that way for eternity? Note the double parody sign, please.

Chapter Three

Disclaimer: You all know by now that Sari, Lara, Emily and (takes deep breath) Rosalina Anastasia Cassandra Maria Elizabeth are mine. YGO and its characters, settings, etc. are not.

Italics: The fangirl's 'story'

Plain: Actual narrative

Emily looked to Bakura. "How long do you think this fic will live?"

"Not very. Care to bet? I have it on five chapters, maximum."

She sighed. "I would rather not bet on my own death, thanks all the same."

Suddenly, a door opened and six or seven people fell through, the door shutting hard behind them.

And the scenery changed. They were in a classroom. A currently empty classroom.

Rosalina wuz scarred, btu alsoe madd at hur dad. She thot he shuldnt be makin her stey hom wen she wantd 2 go 2 skool. so she senaked out teh windoe wit her stuf adn hid behidn teh skool til ti wuz tim 2 go inn. (AN: OMG how brav, huh?)

she swa alott of ppl stndin arond afder she went inn, watcin 2 guys duling. Rosalina grined. she had her dec wit hur, soo she Dcided 2 dul wit 1 of tem wen they wer dun. she aslo saw Baku-chan tere, loking iritatted. she wundered y.

Emily looked up. "Who are all of you?"

One stood. "I'm Yami. This is Yugi," he pointed, "Ryou, Malik, Marik, Jou, Anzu and Honda. Where are we?"

Emily's eyes went huge. "You mean it?"

"Yeah…hey, aren't you that Sue they got rid of?"

"I…I'm new. And…if you're who you say…AAAUUUUGHHHH! WE'RE ALL DOOMED!"

She stopped, thought about it…

"Or at least, I am."

"Why?"

"I'll have to duel you, and because I'm a Sue I'll win, and then the Sue-hunters will have all the proof they need to show I'm a Sue and then they'll kill me and then…"

She was nearly hysterical.

Bakura tapped her on the shoulder.

"Breathe occasionally, huh?"

Emily blushed, very embarrassed. "Uh, yeah. Oops. Sorry. I'm okay now. Really."

She loked adn relised taht it wuz her 3rd cuzin malik duling sum guy shed never sen b4. he loked kinda wierd, wit spyky hare adn redd ies. (AN: Gues who lol btu dun wrry thisll b a baku/oc ramonce im sik off al the yami/oc romnce baku-chan desrves sum luv 2!)

Emily groaned. "You'd think they would at least put in a little subtext explaining how I knew Malik. And why do they not capitalize your name?"

Malik shrugged. "They're fangirls. We'll kill them later."

Bakura blinked. "How did you manage to stay partly in character?"

"Because I disappear into a black hole about four seconds into the chapter."

"Lucky," remarked Emily. She was trying to pull her hair back into a ponytail, without success. "Why can't I pull this back? It's so darn impractical and…" She trailed off. "Anyone have scissors?"

Bakura pointed. "Try the desk up front."

She looked through it. "Ah, here's a pair."

"What do you need them for?" asked Ryou quietly.

Emily jumped. He and Yugi and the others had been so quiet she'd forgotten they were there. "I'm gonna cut my hair, that's all."

She picked up a lock and cut it off at about chin length.

It was harder than it looked, and she ended up with really crooked hair. She could feel a hole in the back where she'd cut it too short and one side was longer than the other. That didn't seem to matter, because within ten seconds it was back to the waist-length it had been before.

"Damnit!"

"I coulda told you that would happen." remarked Jou.

"Why didn't you?"

He shrugged. "I figured you'd realize it. You're a Sue, they never have short hair."

Anzu nodded assent.

Emily sighed. "Bear with me here; I've never been this way before."

"You're better than the last one." said Mariku with a faint glare. "She was proud of being a Sue and acted like it. I never had a knife on me when we met her, either."

Suddenly a black hole opened.

Jou looked at it "Hey, there's our ride. Come on."

Malik, Mariku, Jou, Honda and Anzu disappeared into the safety of the canon. (1)

Emily sat down at one of the desks, as did the others with mental groans.

"Shall we?" asked Bakura.

"Why not, let's see what they're writing."

Rosalina wuz felin depesed cuz malik lost so she dcided 2 tri. She wlaked upp 2 yami adn sayd "want 2 dul" and yami siad sur so they tok out theyr decs and started duling. Alot off ppl cam 2 watch as wurd came arond taht the new gurl wuz duling yugi. (AN cuz they dun kno abot yami, duh) and she could see bakura wathing thm dul and she hopped taht sehd win cuz she didint wannt 2 loose infront of Bakura,especially not wehn soooo mani oter ppl wer watchin. so she puled out hre fave card (AN wow gues wat it is) adn she sed 'i pley the…" (2)

AN: lol gunna stop tere if u want 2 find out waht it wuz adn who winz tehn revieuw!1!11!1!1!11! i ned 10 revieuws b4 I cont.!1!1!1!1! (3)

Emily rolled her eyes. "Whoopee. I can't wait to find out what happens. Not."

To Be Continued…

(1) You know how, in Sue-fic scenes where there are a lot of characters, how some of them will just seem to disappear? It never says 'so-and-so left the room' or whatever, they're just there, and then they're not. I call it a black hole, and that's what just happened to Malik, Mariku, Jou and Anzu.

(2) It's hard to show it in the format I imagine it in, so just imagine the entire italic part as one big Block Paragraph Of Doom.

(3) This is something that is in a lot of Mary Sue fics and personally annoys me very, very much. So I put it in here. Don't kill me.

Review! Tell me what you liked, what you didn't, or just pass on messages to the fangirls!