Raidersrule76- Thanks. They wouldn't DARE report me. They KNOW I'll send an army of Robin clones to their doors in thongs... Plus, it's just one chapter, not the whole story... Now that I think about it, I think Robin DOES have a pink apron...
Corza12002- Ah coffee..such a hyper-upness drink to us all... Thankies.
Jadedea- Thank you! Robin's points are always unheard.. Ha. Thanks a lot!
dancingirl- Thanks. And don't you worry, the romance shall occur soon..very soon.. ;)
AnnMari123- PWN or PWNS means OWN. Long ago, a person in a forum accidently hit the 'p' instead of the 'o' and that is how PWN/PWNS was born. I used PWNS but had one 'S'. I didn't like how PWNSSTAR looked... You can look up other words like these in . ((if you can't see the link, go to my profile..))
ROFL- Haha, thanks! And yes, it is very fun. Oh, but Robin is a master of disguises..
Falling- Okey dokey!
theflamehat- Thanks! I love your story, Amnesia, too!
Savi- Meh!! My favorite word! Ahaha, thanks a bunch!
raven-rocks-the-dark - Okey dokey -puts vote in spinny-barrel-thingy- Isn't it fun to watch them argue??
Emmery- HAH! That's an interesting..statement! But I'm sure that he'd love a good kidnaping. Robin is known for his enjoyment of surprises -wiggles eyebrows up and down- GAH! PAPER! IT BUUUUUURNS! -vote has been put in the spinny-barrel-thingy-
lil-cloudiekins- -vote has been placed into spinny-barrel-thingy- Thanks! Hah, I like your username!
robins1fan- Thank you! As for laying off Robin... I can't really say what I'm gonna do..
Wow, the chapters were tied, 4-4, so... I had to ask 4 random people I did not know, which one they wanted. I gave the description and everything. It was tied once more, 7-7. So.. I had to ask one more person..
Well, folks. It all comes down to this... ((even though you know what the chapter will be by looking at the chapter title on top of this page -rolls eyes- ))
-turns spinny-barrel-thingy wheel and pulls out a card-
And the winner is.... LIGHTS, CAMERA, ACTION!!! By ONE vote!
You heard it peeps, onto the chapter!
Putting The 'IN' Into Insanity
Chapter 7: Lights, Camera...ACTION!!
Robin was taking his routine grocery shopping for the day. On the quest for green beans, squashes, carrots.. But his mind wasn't on picking up Ube-beans for Beast Boy..oh no.. It was Starfire.. He wanted to show her that he was NOT gay, but from the AIM convo two days ago...it wasn't looking too good..
Robin snatched a banana from the heap of them.
Starfire had been badgering him from doing his hair, making Short Cake..to asking him if this guy was hotter or this guy was. Not looking good.. As I said.
His plan? Nothing. He couldn't figure out anything to do that would make Star see he wasn't homo. All his previous plans had brutally backfired and this was almost like his last chance..
A scream pulled Robin out of his mind.
"OH MY GOD!!! IT'S ROBIN!!!"
As the big cloud of smoke from the fan girls raced towards Robin, he put a seductive smile on and straightened out his cape. Here was a good chance to make himself feel better. A rampaging crowd of girls wanting him.
As the crowd came closer, Robin realized something in pure fright. This riot wasn't fan girls...
It was -gulp- guys..
"AHHHHHH!!!!"
Robin raced out the supermarket, which was actually in fact Publix, and ran away from the crowd. In his arms, he carried unpaid for banana's and Ube-beans...
"GET HIM!! HE IS OUR HOLY GAY-GUY-NESS LORD!!!"
They let out a shriek like feathered chickens and began to pace faster. Robin was in their deathly path.
In desperation, Robin began throwing the blessed Ube-beans at the fan riot. Each one landed on target but did not stop the tornado of gay.
Robin sprinted a turn and towards a brick fence and leapt over before the riot saw...which were now holding pitch-forks..
Pleasant huh?
Robin slid down the fence and breathed a sigh of relief. He made it out alive, but it had cost him something dearly..
The Ube-beans.. The blessed Ube-beans. How he would face a rampaging Beast Boy at home..
"That's okay. I'll just tell him I was walking back from the store when a big mutant squirrel jumped out and tried to slice me with it's spear and I had only the Ube-beans to protect me and so I threw them at the mutant squirrel and..and.."
A big shadow loomed over Robin's spiky-black-haired head.
"Uh-oh.."
"THERE HE IS!! HE MUST COME WITH US FOR THE GAY-GUY-NESS CEREMONY!!! ONWARD!!!"
And onward they did, right over the fence. Robin huddled in a corner, the numbers of the fans were rising, closing in with no air left to breathe...
Robin could do only one thing and he did.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
And he cried "wee, wee, wee" all the way home...
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Starfire looked up worriedly at the Mumbo clock, "Where is Robin? He went to the store of nutrients and food two hours ago and still has not returned.."
Beast Boy and Cy were head-to-head in a, yep...you guessed it, video game..
"Beats me.."
Cyborg paused the game, "He has been out for awhile though.."
Raven looked up from her boiling pot of tea, "Did he happen to go to the Publix center?"
Starfire clasped her hands together in fear, "Oh Raven, yes! He did! What is there? What will harm our friend, Robin??!!"
Raven's eyes got big as saucers, "Oh no.."
Beast Boy jumped over the couch headrest, over to Raven. He placed a hand on her shoulder, "What is it? Are maniac scientists going to kidnap him and put him under those big, round hair dryer things and try to send him off to the planet DrĂ´le??? .... That'd be cool.."
Raven looked up into Beast Boy's eyes, "No..even worse.. A gang lies there behind the Publix garbage disposal.. They're called– "
" GAY!...GUY!!!..NESS....ES...GAY-GUY-NESS!! OH THE HUMANITY! OH THE PAIN.. OH THE GAYYYY!!"
All eyes turned to the front door, revealing a horrible sight.
Starfire flew over to her trembling friend, "Oh Robin!! What have they done to you!?"
Robin stood there, shivering in Starfire's arms. His hair was hair-sprayed to the point where it stood straight up, his lips were covered in red goo that was none other than..DUN dun DUNNNN... lipstick.
Robin's face was smothered in kisses, his clothes ripped. In Robin's hands he held two sacred, yet smashed, Ube-beans...
"NOOO! THE UBE-NESS OF THE BEAN!!! HOW COULD YOU???"
The rest of the 3 Titans snapped their eyes angrily toward Beast Boy, who was shortened by the intensity of the stare.
"Um..I mean.. OH ROBIN!!! You have used the sacred bean-ness to protect yourself during the brawl!! Courageous my friend! COURAGEOUS!!"
Cyborg stuck up a brow, "Brawl?"
Starfire turned toward Robin, "Oh my sweet friend.. Let us clean you up and sit you down on the so-fa. I shall then feed you homemade Shinahka!
Everyone cringed.
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Three bowls of Shinahka later...
Robin sat in Starfire's lap as she fanned him.
"A-and..and I didn't know what to do..and..so..I just..threw..I threw..the..the.."
Starfire spoke gently to the unstable Robin, "The what my dear friend?"
Robin placed his hands over his eyes shamefully, " THE UBE-BEANS!!!!"
Raven, Cyborg, and Beast Boy stood on the other side of the room. No one wanted to go near their...interesting..leader. So..there they stood, wide-eyed and cowering.
"YOU TWO!!"
Robin pointed to Cy and BB.
"Y-Yes Robin??"
"Yeah??"
Robin's face became cold and hateful. He spoke in a grave voice, "You two..you two did this!! You two said I was..GAY! And you two are going to fix this!! I don't care if you have to sacrifice your own dignity! I'm the leader! I'm supposed to be like by millions of..."
Beast Boy spoke up meekly, "Girls?"
"GUYS!"
Robin slapped a hand over his mouth, then embedded his head in Starfire's shoulder, "No..no no no no no.. Star.. They're confusing me!!"
Raven eyed BB and Cy, "You guys better do something..and fast.."
Cyborg raised a brow, "Why fast?"
Raven signaled toward the window, "Because a huge sign is hanging from J.P. Harbor dock saying, "We LOVE you Robin! Love, G.G.N.."
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"Aww.. I was having fun insulting Robin! Do we have to prove his..innocence?"
Cyborg was leaning over a piece of blue-print paper, sketching out a plan, while Beast Boy was complaining on his other side.
"We have to man. This is Robin. He's a wreck.. Besides, we can have fun whilst we do it."
Beast Boy beamed brightly, "I know what whilst means!! I looked it up! It means chiefly Brit. While!"
Cyborg stared at Beast Boy for a long time.. To the point where things were getting..weird..
"Say wha-?"
Beast Boy shook his head, "Never mind.."
Cyborg blinked twice and then returned to the blue-prints.
"Soo..what do we have so far??"
Cyborg smiled proudly at his creation. He took out a sharpie marker and pointed to the whiteboard.
"Okay. We all know that there's a special connection to Star and Rob riiight??"
Cyborg turned his back to Beast Boy, squeaking sounds coming from the board.
Cy stepped back to reveal two stick people, one with pointing black hair and another with orange locks ((really two wavy lines..)). A red heart circled around them.
Beast boy looked puzzled, "Umm..so?'
"So..We can use this to prove his innocence!!"
Cyborg returned to the whiteboard, " Alright, everyday at 9:00 PM, Starfire peers over at Robin, so they make eye contact. And almost every time this happens, Robin response with a little nod, so little, no one can really sense the movement. At precisely 10:00, Robin exits the room, claiming he needs to research stuff. At 10:10, Starfire exits, claiming she is tired."
Squeaking noises filled the room. They were so loud, BB had to cover his sensitive ears.
Cyborg continued his analogy, " At 11:00, Robin enters back into the room, and at 11:15, Starfire enters. If anyone is there, Starfire says she needed a glass of water and Robin says he needed to take a break."
Beast Boy leaned in closer to peer at the drawing Cyborg was making. Cyborg boomed out loud,
"BUT WHAT WAS HE TAKING A BREAK FROM!?"
Cyborg turned around so quickly, the changeling fell on the ground. Cyborg smirked and returned to the whiteboard.
"And so, with that, what does this all conclude??"
Beast Boy rose from the floor, rubbing his sore head, "Umm.. That you have a LOT of time on your hands?"
Cyborg huffed, "Noo... It concludes that ROBIN AND STARFIRE HAVE SEXUAL INTERCOURSE WITH EACH OTHER!!!!!!"
Beast Boy wrinkled his nose, "Sexual intercourse??"
Cyborg turned around quickly once again and revealed a revealing picture, "SEX!"
"OH MY GOD!" Beast Boy covered his face when the picture was in sight.
Cyborg erased the board and put a little one on it.
"So, we have to somehow tape it without them knowing it. The question is, how?"
Beast Boy tapped his chin in mock thought.
Cyborg sighed, frustrated with his "pupil", " Fine. First, we need to get a hold of a camera then-"
"What happened to ours?"
Cyborg face darkened, "Remember? Starfire flushed it down the toilet when she thought it was a 'mini-cyclops'.."
Beast Boy's face filled with laughter as he smiled in recognition, " Oh yeah! Haha! That was funny... Oh my God! You were cursing so much that Raven had to seal your mouth with a bubble thingie and Starfire was asking what- "
"ANYWAY!"
Cyborg wrote a little number two on the board, " We sneak out of the room after Robin's gone and somehow get into Starfire's room. We'll do this by- "
Beast Boy raised his hand, like he was a student, "How do you know they do it in Star's room?"
Cyborg smiled, "Because Robin likes pink...remember?"
Beast Boy laughed, "Oh yeah!"
"So, we'll get into Star's room before her when we excuse ourselves from the room one at a time and get in there. I'll scale the side of the Tower and break in and you'll change into a gnat or something and go beneath the crack of her door. Robin will probably be waiting outside, so we'll have to be extra quiet."
Cyborg wrote a little three, "THEN, we'll tape them having sex, put it on the internet and BAM! Problem solved."
Beast Boy eyed Cyborg in shock, "And you planned this in 3 minutes.. What were you doing? Waiting for an opportunity like this to happen?"
Cyborg twiddled his thumbs.
"Maybe..."
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Now, just to let everyone know, James Bond and the Teen Titans don't really mix. So, it comes to no surprise that when Beast Boy and Cyborg came into the room with black sunglasses on, people got suspicious...
"What are you two imbeciles doing?"
Beast Boy tried to hide a little envelope with the words 'CONFIDENTIAL' written in red on it.
Raven rolled her eyes, grabbed it and opened it. And there it was.. The picture...
"Oh my God!! What the hell is wrong with you??" Raven shoved the envelope back into Beast Boy's clutches.
"I'm sorry ma'am, but that information is confidential..CYBORG!"
Cyborg rushed over and saluted BB, "Yes BB Buns?"
Beast Boy lowered his sunglasses angrily, "It's BONDS!"
Raven blinked, confused.
Beast Boy straightened himself up, "Ahem.. Anyway.. Cyborg, Raven has saw the confidential information! We must do something! She must not let on to the targets!"
Cyborg slapped his hand to his forehead, "And that is why we DON'T carry around confidential information!" Cyborg flicked Beast Boy on the head as punishment and took the info out of his hands.
"Raven...you know that we have to prove Rob's innocence..right?"
Raven huffed, "Is THAT what that dreadful picture is about???"
Beast Boy laughed nervously, "Heh, no that was just a preview of what we're going to do!"
Raven stared at him with wide eyes, "So you're telling me that your going to do what's in that picture to Robin...Are you trying to prove his innocence or lose yours?"
Cyborg sighed, "We're gonna tape them having..you know..and put it on the Net. And..since you saw it, you're gonna have to swear to us you won't tell Rob and Star. Also, you gotta help us with it."
Raven boomed, "WHAT?!? I have to help you do THIS??!"
Beast Boy pleaded with her, "C'mon Rae! It'll be fun...in a disgusting and violating way.. BUT! I'll get you some cool sunglasses!"
Raven sighed, clearly annoyed and torn. As much as she wanted to help out Robin, she really didn't want to do the plan that BB and Cy were thinking. Come on! Who would? ((looks at the perverts on the other side of the room))
"Guys..please..don't-"
"PLEASE?????????????????"
Raven looked into their pleading eyes and sighed...
"Fine."
The guys smiled angelically as Raven walked away glumly. How could she give in like that? Who knows..
Seriously, what's an Azarathian to do??
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8:58 PM
Beast Boy made eye-contact with Cyborg, Cyborg nodded. Beast Boy made eye-contact with Raven, she sighed yet still nodded.
Beast Boy nodded back at them and looked to Starfire. She sat there innocently watching Will & Grace, wondering why Karen was fixing Grace's breasts...
8:59 PM
Cyborg had a trickle of sweat beads run down his chocolate bald head. It was almost time. They were really going to do this!
9:00 PM
And there it was... The peering eyes, the nod... It was all coming together!!
10:00 PM
"Guys, I'm gonna go to my room and do some research. We haven't got a call for awhile..."
Beast Boy almost stood up and said, "That's what you WANT us to think!!" But Cyborg held him down and clamped the changeling's mouth shut.
Starfire smiled, "Okay Robin. We shall miss you.."
Raven rolled her eyes, knowing their secret ways.
10:02 PM
Cyborg twiddled his thumbs and turned away from the tube where Grace and Will were talking about cheese.
"Well, I'm gonna go... See ya guys in the morning!" Cyborg walked out of the room a bit too fast.
Raven shut her eyes and put a hand to her head, "Let's hope he doesn't go into full-time detective..."
10:03 PM ...
Beast Boy stood from his seat quickly, "I'm gonna...um...brush my teeth!! Yeah! Getting a bit of grass growing in there! Eheh..."
Beast Boy literally ran out of the room and down the hall.
A question mark seemed to appear over Star's head from her friends' strange behavior. Raven sank deeper into the couch, "Oh God.."
In Starfire's Room...
"Psst... Cyborg..Psst... You here?? PSSSSS-"
"I'M HERE!!! SHUT UP!!"
Beast Boy stumbled over a chair, "Shh Cy.. Do you want Robin to hear?"
Cyborg's temper whistled like a tea pot.
So..there they were.. Lenny and Squiggy... Behind the dresser with a video camera...
Kodak moment right there..
Beast Boy looked at Cyborg's arm watch frantically, "Where are they???"
Cyborg peered down at it, "It's 10:11... They're fashionably late! You've got to give them props for that.."
"I've been waiting all night honey-bun.."
"Hope it's worth the wait sweetie..."
Beast Boy and Cyborg froze as the voices flooded into the room, full of seduction. Cyborg whispered to Beast Boy, "Camera on?"
Beast Boy placed the camera on the dresser and started taping, "All set.."
Beast Boy zoomed in on the pink, round bed where Robin and Starfire huddled close together.
"Oh..oh Robin..."
"This is GOLD.." Beast Boy whispered as Starfire's pantaloons flew over his own head and landed on Cy's.
Cyborg whispered violently as he tore off the underpants, "Just tape it!"
Beast Boy turned away from the camera to look at Cy haughtily, "Artwork takes precious time my friend. Something that you have no lore about."
Cyborg's eye widened and then went narrow, "You been listening to Starfire's English tapes again haven't you..."
Beast Boy huffed and returned to the camera to make 'movie magic'.
3 minutes later...
"Are you getting anything???"
Beast Boy focused in and out on Starfire and Robin, trying to get a clear image, "Wait...wait.. Robin's butt is in the way...wait..now it's his- Oh my GOD! Here Cy,"
Beast Boy thrust the video camera to Cy, "You tape it!"
Cyborg sighed, thinking the green imp was just seeing things, and focused the lens on the couple.
"Woah..woah...that's not pretty.."
Beast Boy huddled behind the dresser, "Is it over??"
Cyborg whistled quietly, "Man, I don't think we're even done with the previews yet..."
Cyborg looked to BB, "Where's Raven?? She was supposed to be handing out mints!"
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"Robin my good fellow! We have the source right here that will prove your innocence!"
Robin looked up from the newspaper that was titled, 'Robin-Flying Homo?'
"Better be good.. What is it?"
Beast Boy and Cyborg smiled sweetly and handed him a tape, "Night in Heaven's Innocence a-go-go baby!"
Robin smiled, "Will it actually prove my innocence?"
Cyborg laughed, "Dude, it will do so much more than that.."
Beast Boy took the remote for the TV and switched the movie on.
Big letters saying:
INNOCENCE A-GO-GO BABY!
Flashed on the screen. Robin's eyes widened fearfully as he saw two bumps moving around under Starfire's covers.
More words flashed on the screen:
ANYONE UP FOR MINTS??
There stood Raven, dressed like a pole stripper, carrying mints on a pillow. She stood outside Star's door with an expression that would make the Devil himself pee in his pants.
"Beast Boy, turn that camera off and get me out of this outfit before I skin you alive!"
Beast Boy's voice sounded behind the camera, "I'd be GLAD to get you out of that outfit Raven..."
Raven's fist flew at the camera and the screen reduced to a static mess.
The screen flickered to Cyborg...carrying a tube of suntan lotion like a microphone...
"Ground control to Major Tom. Commencing countdown, engines on.."
Cyborg pressed fast forward on the remote quickly and skipped through his '5 seconds of fame'..
Robin and Beast Boy snickered.
The screen was back in Starfire's room.
"Robin...I think I..blacked out for a second.."
The screen zoomed around to face Beast Boy's and Cyborg's horrified faces.
"Help us!!"
On screen, Cy turned to BB, "Where's Raven?? She chickened out! I wanted a mint!"
Beast Boy rolled his eyes, "Yeah Cy.. That's the part to focus on.." He signaled over to the romping couple.
BB looked back into the camera lens, "Kids..don't try this at home.."
Cyborg piped up, "You might poke your eye out..."
Beast Boy peeked over to Rob and Star, "Ouch..."
The screen flickered with the last image of Robin's ass, flashing the words:
A FACE ONLY A MOTHER COULD LOVE!!
A/N: Sorry for the long wait! I had some writers' block and I had a report to do.. Hah, long chappie, eh? Next is Rock-a-Bye Baby.. Here's the sound clip:
Sound Clip: Rock-a-Bye Baby...
"Now what I'm about to show you guys may frighten and disturb you but-" Robin cut in, "Raven, is Beast Boy hiding under your cloak again?"
R&R please! A cookie for anyone who can name the song Cyborg was singing! :)