Blurb: An A/U continuation from the episode "Crunge" where the kids get their SAT scores. I don't think it was necessarily fair of FOX to keep the teens in Point Place after they graduate from high school so here is the story of their long rocky road to UW…
Disclaimer: I don't own That 70's show or the characters. I make no profit from this fanfiction.
It was early fall in Point Place, Wisconsin when four teenagers stumbled through the basement door of the Forman residence after a long torturous day of school. Stephen Hyde immediately sat down in his usual chair in front of the dyer and washing machine settling in to his normal routine of doing a whole lot of nothing all afternoon. Jackie, his girlfriend, perched herself on his lap, her arms twining around his neck and zoning out while watching what afternoon programming the worn out television set had to offer. Kelso and Fez were also sitting down in the basement but were only half-way paying attention to the TV and arguing over who looked hotter in school that day and who they would like to nail. Typically, Fez was complaining about his physical needs while Kelso used the window of opportunity to brag about his prowess in bagging the whole cheerleading squad. Hyde and Jackie were tuning out the banal rambling of their friends, choosing to relax quietly instead in the arms of each other, something they did everyday. Hyde was thankful for these brief moments of quiet from his girl, since she usually liked to chatter on and on about new sales at the mall and what stupid skanky outfit some random girl had been wearing that day at Point Place High. As he sat there though, enjoying her company and not her chatter, he realized she had become quieter in general the last few weeks ever since she found out her Dad was going to jail and her Mom had taken off for a drunken tour of the Caribbean. He knew she had visited her father in jail recently and had lost some of her spark since then. She was still just as materialistic and self-absorbed when with the whole group, but it seemed a little forced at times, like she was hiding something. A brief flash of guilt shot through him that maybe he should be trying to comfort or reassure her somehow but he felt awkward and unsure about how to do it and whether or not he should do it at all. He'd already done enough shaving his beard right? He was zen man! He didn't go around actively trying to psychoanalyze people or get all touchy-feely with them.
Right as he was struggling with his inner demons while dually enjoying the feel of Jackie's soft lithe body against his, and breathing in her light smell of perfume, Eric and Donna entered the basement excitedly. Eric had taken his car the Vista Cruiser right after he got out of class to go pick up his girlfriend from her private Catholic school Our Lady of Perpetual Sorrow. The tall intelligent red-head was still wearing her plaid school-girl uniform, but for once she ignored the characteristic cat calls from Fez and Kelso, and Hyde's appreciative gaze, calling out excitedly instead about what her teacher had given her in class that day.
"My SAT scores came in you guys!" she gestured emphatically waving an opened white envelope in the air. "And I did awesome and my school counselor had already sent in my scores and she got a call from the UW admissions office asking her more about me! Can you believe it! They dropped hints about a possible scholarship! This is amazing!"
"You got your SAT scores already?" Jackie asked surprised, arching one perfectly plucked eyebrow. "What about you guys? Have you gotten yours in the mail yet?" This question was more directed towards her boyfriend, who she had been pushing and hinting lately about how he needed to start thinking about his future.
Hyde, who knew he couldn't avoid the truth but wanted to disillusion Jackie into expecting any kind of expectations of college for him, tried to downplay the whole situation. "Yeah mine came yesterday...whatever" he ended with a slight shrug, his dark sunglasses and deadpan tone acting as the perfect repellant for further questioning. This tactic would have worked normally, if he hadn't been talking to Jackie Burkhart that is.
"Steven! How could you not tell me? This is really important you know." Jackie replied in an annoyed tone.
"Jackie, we've talked about this. I don't care what you or Mrs. Forman say. I am not going to college, it's not for me." Hyde answered with a definite edge to his voice. Jackie decided to back off at this point since she knew that while she might have gotten away with bossing Michael Kelso around when they were dating, Hyde would only put up with so much before cutting his losses and simply leaving. He wasn't the type to tolerate too much interference in his life, even from people he cared about.
"Wait, you guys got your scores already?" Eric interjected at this point into the conversation. "I haven't seen mine yet. Do you think they came today?" he asked in his normal nervous agitated manner.
"Dude, mine came the other day too, and my dad and mom were all like so freaked out by my scores that they said they'll even pay for me to go to college. Can you believe that! They got me all these college pamphlets and they all have pictures of totally hot chicks on them! I'm thinking about going cause you know, I've already done it with almost all the hot girls here in Point Place. Time to move on to the big leagues!" Kelso responded, cockily running his hand through his well-groomed hair, all the while unaware of how stupid he just sounded. "Those sorority chicks will be begging me to join their sweaty naked pillow fights!"
"Oh Kelso do not tease me with your delightful visions of naked college girls!" Fez complained with a strained look across his face. "I must go to these schools as well so I might enjoy these wild sexy parties!"
"Wait wait wait…are you two telling me that you guys are gonna go to college? There are schools that will actually take you in? How well did you do on the SAT anyway!" an incredulous Eric exclaimed. Hyde, Donna, and Jackie also looked a little skeptical.
"What do you mean your parents were excited about your SAT scores? Did you steal the answers or something?" Donna asked a disbelieving look on her face.
"Damn you guys! Haven't I always told you its hard being this man-pretty and smart? No one appreciates my talents around here that's for sure." Kelso had been absently bouncing one of Eric's super balls against the far wall and turned to look at the rest of the gang while talking when the ball hit him square in the eye taking him so completely by surprise he fell off his chair, his arms and legs flailing through the air.
"BURN!" shouted Fez standing up and pointing at the disoriented Kelso lying on the ground.
After everyone had settled down laughing at Kelso's expense, Eric chimed in again, "So if you guys all got your scores I bet mine got here today then. I'll be right back I'm going to check upstairs." Eric ran up the stairs two at a time, nervous about what he might find scattered amidst his parent's bills.
Donna sat nervously tapping her foot on the floor for all of ten seconds before she too ran up the basement stairs. She was still running off her high from getting attention from Wisconsin's biggest university and anxious at the same time about whether or not Eric would be able to go with her. Since they had become secretly engaged they had planned on enrolling in the same college together.
"So Fez, now that we have decided it is our destiny to go to college and bring our love to any and every willing slut we find there, we need to settle on which lucky school it will be" Kelso continued with his previous train of thought, practically drooling with the idea of whole dormitories filled with young hot females. "I think I'm feeling UW myself. All those co-ed dorms we saw when we went to visit are just screaming for some Kelso action!"
"Man, why are you guys going to waste your money like that? Don't you know that college is just the government's way to control you with more state-approved curriculum and to suck four years out of your young life? It's pointless and you shouldn't be a conformist and fall in with their plans!" Hyde stated emphatically, a look of derision on his face that his two friends were actually planning on leaving Point Place just to enroll in a school they had to pay for personally that would teach them nothing useful.
Kelso, Fez, and Jackie just rolled their eyes at Hyde's paranoia.
"God Stephen how much have you been lighting up this month because next thing you know you're going to start telling me that everyone's out to get you including aliens, the CIA, and the lunch ladies at school" Jackie replied. "I don't think you realize that without a college degree the boys here won't have much hope of finding a job that pays more than minimum wage."
"Wait, when did you become a crusader for higher education?" Hyde quipped back. "I thought your life-long dream was to become a cheerleader for the Dallas Cowboys?"
"Well yes," Jackie replied slowly "but I realize now that college just isn't for nerds or men who need to support their wives. Donna told me all about how you go there to learn how to live on your own for four years, figure out who you are, and experiment with what you're interested in. I mean I didn't believe her at first but it does make sense, and plus it's four years of living with other people our age and partying on the weekend! No adults either! After all, you saw for yourself how much freedom there is at college. Fez told me all about that party you guys went to when you were at UW visiting."
Hyde wouldn't admit that the last part of Jackie's argument sounded kind of appealing or that he was pleasantly surprised that her points weren't all strictly materialistic. He HAD enjoyed that weekend trip to Madison and could almost picture himself there with Eric, Donna, Kelso, and Fez making the circle in one of their dorm rooms instead of the basement. But he had to stick to his principles. "Look my parents left me a while ago so I already have the been there done that on my own thing going on and I 'experiment' with what I'm interested at least once a week, so I don't need to shell out more money that I could make in five years for crap I already know."
At this point in the couple's heated debate, Kelso and Fez had lost interest following their arguments and had jumped up at the pause in the discussion before Jackie could open her mouth again to reply.
"Fez, let's go to the Hub and check out what foxy ladies we can find there. I'm tired of having to listen to Ozzy and Harriet from Hell over here." Kelso said, dragging his friend along while rolling his eyes at the bickering couple.
After they left, Jackie turned back to her boyfriend, lowering her voice to a softer tone and lightly playing with his curly hair she started again," Stephen, I know you don't like the idea of college and that it would be really hard for you to pay for it, but don't you realize that it is important for our future? You have so much potential!"
Warning bells went off in Hyde's head at those words "our future" signaling him to transition into quickly killing this notion of Jackie's before it took root in her stubborn and highly imaginative brain.
"Look Jackie, I know you probably have some messed up idea in your head of us getting married and settling down with three kids, a dog, and a white picket fence but I don't. I don't know where I'm going to be 10 years from now but I can guarantee you I don't want to be in the suburbs working some 9 to 5 job. All I really know is that I like sitting in this basement and I like making out with you, so why do we have to mess it up with making promises that probably won't come true?" Hyde knew he was being brutal, but he thought it was better for both of them if they looked at this relationship they had realistically instead of pretending it was something more than it was.
Jackie did look quite hurt by Hyde's words but she quickly replied, "Look Stephen I know you don't see yourself settling down like that and while I think having a house and kids is a nice idea, I won't be stupid and try to push it on you. I had a talk with Donna recently and she told me that I'm always trying to make people do things. I'm going to try not to do that with you anymore. I guess I was just hoping that when you looked a few years into the future you saw us. But I do know better than to fish for anything more…" Jackie looked deep into Hyde's eyes, giving him such a soulful gaze that he felt torn with fear that she was slowly catching him a trap that had a big neon sign on it that spelled "commitment" but also that at moments like this when she wore her heart on her sleeve so completely, he couldn't bear to reject her.
"I can't promise you Jackie that we'll be together in a year because I don't know. There are too many variables and frankly, you have to admit we're a volatile combination of personalities. I'll be your boyfriend but let's just take it a few days at a time ok?"
Jackie smiled a little at this admission that he liked being with her and responded, "Well I shouldn't be worried about marriage or anything when I'm just 17. I learned my lesson when Michael took off on me when I tried to make him commit to me." Hyde paled quite noticeably when Jackie actually verbalized the 'M' word but let her continue, "But Stephen, I'm not just pushing college because I think it would mean a future for us. I mean, you heard everyone talking a few minutes ago. They are all planning on leaving this town. Do you really want to stay here and live in the Forman's basement forever?"
"Look I'm sure I'll move out sometime and get my own place but right now I don't care. The rent here is cheap, Mrs. Forman cooks for me, and do you really want me to leave when you still have a year of high school left yourself?"
At this point, Jackie's whole face clouded over, like she was trying very hard to keep from saying something she wanted to keep hidden, a slightly guilty attitude settling over her. "Yeah sure, I'll still be here…" she trailed off.
Hyde's eyes narrowed at this highly suspicious response but before he could begin questioning her, Eric and Donna came trudging back downstairs, Eric's posture one of utter defeat.
"Oh my God what am I going to do?" he moaned, dropping bonelessly onto the beat up couch, his head dropping into his hands. "An 800? Dammit how am I going to get into UW now?"
"Haha! Looks like there will be someone else keeping us company here in the basement next year babe!" Hyde said to Jackie, laughing at his friend Eric's expense. "Even I got a 950 Forman and I don't own any books…Hell I don't even use a locker!"
"Steven! A 950! I knew you had potential!" Jackie squealed, squirming excitedly in Hyde's lap creating a torturous mixture of frustration within him because of her persistent nagging, and involuntary interest in her displays of affection as she showered his face with kisses and rubbed delightfully against him.
"Umm hello? Man in pain over here! God, can't you guys ever focus on anything other than yourselves?" Eric screeched while waving his arms erratically for emphasis.
"C'mon Eric, it's just a test score it's not that big of a deal is it?" Donna asked, trying to help her boyfriend put things in perspective.
"No Donna, you don't get it. How are we going to get married now if all I can look forward to sitting down here in my parent's basement for the next 20 years? I mean we said we'd go to school together!"
"WHAT!" gasped Hyde and Jackie incredulously.
Eric, suddenly realizing what he had let slip tried to backtrack, "Umm I mean eventually when at a very reasonable and mature age we sit down and rationally agree that we are financially stable enough to enter into an engagement…" he trailed off weakly.
"Forman I can't believe you were stupid enough to give her the ring! You're in high school for God's sake! Your mom still packs you a bag lunch every morning!" Hyde yelled.
"Nice job Eric, I'm glad our agreement on this secret engagement is going so well. They'll never find out," Donna added sarcastically giving her boyfriend a light smack over the head.
"A secret engagement! That's so romantic! That's just like the episode of Love Boat I saw last week where…" Jackie gushed until Hyde quickly covered her mouth with his hand.
"Dammit and now you're idiotic mushy love crap is giving my girlfriend ideas! You know how impressionable she is, she'll be planning a double wedding now thinking she can rope me into proposing as well," Hyde didn't really mean all of what he had said, Jackie's previous private admission making him more comfortable with their relationship at the moment, but he still wouldn't tolerate any effusions from her on bridesmaids dresses and floral arrangerments if he could help it.
While Hyde was ranting, Jackie had been struggling to get his hand off her mouth, but her 95 pound frame wasn't strong enough to throw him so she bit down on his finger instead, causing him to snatch back his hand in shock.
"Ugh Stephen! You should know me better than that" she huffed indignantly, "I would never share my wedding day with a lumberjack! Her mutant height and red hair would completely clash with the color scheme I have planned!"
Everyone rolled their eyes at that comment, choosing to let Jackie's narcissism slide for now in face of the bigger issue.
"Alright alright, everyone just back off for a moment….I guess I just need to 'buckle down' like Red says. This is too important to give up on. There is no way I'm letting you go off to college by yourself little missy and finding yourself another man to squeeze during those long cold nights!" Eric spouted hysterically.
"Calm down Eric, that's not going to happen. I love you remember! We can work something out. Besides, I know you can retake the SATs so all you have to do is put in a little extra study time and you should be in the clear." Donna tried to reason rationally.
Eric jumped up from his position on the couch in excitement at Donna's words, "You're right! Starting this weekend I'm going to get to work and prove to everyone I belong in college with you! I'll be just like Luke Skywalker on a mission to be with his princess Leia despite all opposition!"
"You're going to be studying here for the SATs Eric?" Jackie asked with veiled interest, drawing the confused and suspicious gazes of the other three.
"Hmm ok good to know….well I must be going!" Jackie stated peppily, hopping off her boyfriend's lap and grabbing her purse and coat.
"Jacks, wait…it's a Friday I thought we were gonna hang out here?" her confused and still suspicious boyfriend asked warily.
"Oh well I just remembered I have to go to the mall since they're having a weekend blowout sale…so I'll be back later tonight Stephen, "she called out, blowing Hyde a kiss with her full pouty lips and a flip of her hair, skipping out the basement door.
"She is DEFINITELY up to something and if I weren't so zen I think I might be afraid" Hyde quipped once his pixie girlfriend had closed the door.
"Wow, for once your weed-induced paranoia isn't making you overly suspicious Hyde. I agree she IS hiding something. She always has this guilty look on her face when she doesn't want you to know something. " Donna added, also concerned with Jackie's behavior.
"Well I'm glad we all agree then that Satan's own apprentice is plotting world ruination by lip gloss and hot rollers. Now, if you'll excuse me I need to lock myself in my room far far away from your white knee socks and delightfully short plaid skirt Donna, so I can actually get some work done." Eric said, avoiding his girlfriend's eye roll at his melodrama and a punch in the arm from Hyde, escaping upstairs with his textbooks.