Chapter 14 - The Worst Babyshower Ever

Hermione slammed the living room door shut behind her, causing Ron to jump and knock over the pile of cards that he had just dealt - he and Harry were playing Exploding Poker whilst waiting for Ginny and Hermione to return from her baby shower. The two boys looked at the furious figure standing at the doorway, unwilling to question her as to the source of her anger. Their silence, however, was broken by Ginny, who came in carrying a pale blue blanket with a large red stain in one of it's corners. It looked suspiciously like blood, and Ron suddenly had horrible images of the massacre that may have been his wife's baby shower.

"You forgot your bla-" Ginny began, but she was cut off mid-sentence.

"Why did you let me go to that shower?" Hermione spat, glaring angrily at Ginny, who muttered something under her breath.

"You didn't realise? You DIDN'T REALISE?" Hermione shrieked. Ron could see Harry wincing out of the corner of his eye - Hermione's voice had reached supersonic pitch.

"It could have been worse…" Ginny mumbled.

Hermione let out an infuriated screech, turned on her heel and marched into the bedroom, slamming the door behind her.

"Was it really that awful?" Harry said, his eyebrows raised.

"Oh, yes, definitely!" Ginny said, nodding emphatically. "I've had better nightmares! But I do think she was a tad over-dramatic…oh well, I'm sure she'll calm down soon. It's just the hormones - that's my bet," she added thoughtfully.

"If you don't mind me asking, what is that on the blanket?" Ron said slowly, slightly concerned as to what the answer could be - surely Hermione hadn't actually murdered anyone?

"Red wine," Ginny replied shortly.

Harry and Ron both winced. It was a well-known fact that, even in the magical world, nothing gets red wine out.

"I know." Ginny nodded. "That's what started it all. It was going okay at first. I mean, it was a little awkward, but no-one was killing one another, so that was a bonus. I told her that we had to stop past Mike and Lavender's so I could ask him about an article. I really don't think she knew anything about it!"

Ron tried to hold back a smile. Maybe Hermione wasn't such a bad actor as he had always thought…

"So, anyway, gifts were exchanged, small talk was made, and then it all began. Flora Kales - you know, the girl who trained at St Mungo's with Hermione?"

Ron racked his memory. "Short, blonde, kind of clumsy?" he ventured.

"Yeah. Well, she dropped a glass of wine - it went all over Lavender's cream carpet and this blanket. Of course, Lavender went schizo - she really started laying into this poor girl, she was completely furious! Not surprisingly, most of the guests were a tad alarmed, and Constance-"

Ron let out a groan - it would be Constance, wouldn't it? That girl never knew when to keep her nose out of things…

"-started yelling back at Lavender. They were screaming at one another, and then Lavender called her a vulgar little low-life."

Harry let out a whistle. Ron nodded in agreement.

"…so Constance flung a slice of cake down Lavender's shirt, and before we knew it, the whole thing had erupted into a fully-blown food fight. Hermione was not impressed."

"I'll say," a voice from the doorway said.

They turned around to see Hermione standing there, a weak smile on her face. Ron ran over.

"You all right now?" he said, hugging her tightly.

"I'll be fine." Hermione sighed. "So most of Lavender's friends'll never speak to me again - so what? I didn't like them anyway. Plus," she added, with a smile, "I got a whole bunch of really expensive baby things and I'll never have to see most of the people who gave me them again! I'm beginning to see the benefits of this whole 'being a social reject' thing."

"So you aren't too upset?" Ginny cut in.

"No."

"So am I forgiven?"

"I guess - just do me a favour, okay?"

"Anything," Ginny said gratefully.

"Never hold me a party again." Hermione smiled.

"It's a deal."