The Search For Poontang.
A sequel to said one-shot.
Rated R for naughty tid-bits and ShiroInu's usually raunchy writing style. 3
WARNING: DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE WEAK AT HEART/STOMACH/EAR. THIS WILL MAKE YOU SICK, MAYBE, I DUNNO. YOU WERE WARNED. IT IS ONLY FAIR.
"I want you to ride me." Kikyou expressed in a monotone, pale hands folded against her chest. There was no reply, merely silence that added further pressure to her irritation. "Why aren't you listening to me? I want you to ride me." she repeated forcefully, still holding to her stoic facade. Still, no reply to her request and Kikyou began to feverishly rub her temples, "Why must you torment me?" she whispered, a frown replacing the indifferent line that once occupied pink lips. Her empty gaze remained firm upon the tree in front of her, as it blatantly refused to 'ride her' as she so delicately put it. The former priestess stood still, before lifting an arm to smell beneath it, "Is it the scent of death that clings to me? I assure you, I clean myse--" a far more annoying voice cut through her speech, causing her to whirl around.
Inuyasha smiled in a most frightening manner, dressed in a peculiar silk kimono, made for ladies. "Kikyou, I have some wonderful news." he uttered softly, approaching the rapidly annoyed priestess, holding up his hands. Kikyou curled her lip in distaste, feeling quite ashamed in front of her tree-lover, who remained silent; I think he's angry now the priestess thought faintly, noticing such silence. Then again, he could also be quite joyful, how would she kno-- NO! He is angry! I know it! I'll have to starve myself for three weeks now she thought sadly as Inuyasha continued to ramble on. Finally, she overcame her ADHD and focused in on Inuyasha, who was oddly blushing and putting a finger to his lip like a small child.
"What?" she questioned dully, having not heard his last announcement-- well, she hadn't heard any of them. Inuyasha skipped closer, and she began to smell rotting flesh, enough to make her begin to dry heave in front of him.
"I'm pregnant, aren't you happy Kevin!" Inuyasha shrieked, bobbing his head around madly as his hands flapped around like an uncontrolled child. Kikyou paused in her dry heaving, "Why do I care." she responded in a very dark, mysterious and gothic manner and Inuyasha bent over to punch her in the face, so forcefully in fact that his fist went through her skull in a loud crunch of bone and cranial matter. Blood oozed heavily from the mighty hole in her head, as she fell to the ground in a heap. Inuyasha wagged his finger at her, "Now now-- I was kidding! You see, we need to make some babies, cause I kind of killed everyone." he told her with a huge sigh.
Kikyou gave no reply, and simply continued to rot and ooze a massive amount of sticky, crimson blood that stained the dirt-- well, made it into muddy blood pies. Inuyasha began to furiously pound his fist into her pulpy face, "ARE YOU LISTENING, YOU FUCKING WENCH!" he roared insanely, punching her harder.
"Release my bride, angry demon beast!" a voice spoke and a spotlight of pure white light decended upon the area. Inuyasha looked up, roaring like a ferocious lion-- except, you know, lions don't live in Japan. A tree stood there innocently, and Inuyasha shrugged and went back to pounding Kikyou's unrecognized face. Suddenly, he gasped in pain as the tree impaled his stomach, "Ahh--hh.." his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he began to piss himself wildly. The tree pulled out of the retarded hanyou and resumed sitting in the sun where it had been before.
-
"Mmmm, you like that, don't you?" Kagura whispered, giggling in her deep tones. The prone figure laying the the ancient bathtub gave no reply, merely twitched in response to the jelly being smeared across her face. "Who's your daddy." Kagura demanded, sticking her fist into Kanna's unconcious mouth, attempting to shove her entire hand down the child's throat. Suddenly, a large amount of stomach bile landed onto Kagura's lap, smelling of dead fish and anal sexx0rz. Kagura screamed and grabbed the nearest object-- Kanna's mirror, and began to slap the unconcious girl to hell with it, "You fucking dirty slut!" Kagura raged as the glass finally shattered, and shards of the sharp glass embedded intself into her hands and Kanna's eyes.
Naraku walked into the bathroom, but froze in his tracks-- clearly appaled, "You're a sick, sick pedofile Kagura." he remarked calmly, however. He then walked over to Kagura and threw up all over her shining black tresses, allowing sticky vomit to drip down her features sluggishly. Kagura screamed and leaped out the nearest window, stabbing her leg with a large piece of glass in the process as she fell to her death; exactly four stories down, landing upon an aging old woman and impaling her body on the old woman's head, which split open to reveal her squishy brains from the impact.
Naraku merely sighed and pulled out a magic wand, "It's just you and me, Harry." he murmured sadly, before changing shape into Hermione-- whom was completely nude with shit stains on her buttocks before teleporting back to England.