Title: Destiny's New Path
Summary: A what if. What if it wasn't Revan on the Bridge when Malak fired on his Master's ship? Suddenly the Apprentice is betrayed by the Master, and Revan then infiltrates the ranks of the Jedi. The Dark Lords mission: turn Bastila to the Dark Side of the Force.
Disclaimer: George Lucas and Bioware own the basis of this FanFic. I am merely entertaining the idea that I am good at making Star Wars stories (stupid ideas).
Author's Note: No longer writing from Bastila's point of view.
Chapter 11: Carth's Infatuation
Carth half-sat half-fell back into his seat as Zora's swoop bike spiraled over the finish line. The young Jedi had a streak of recklessness he'd not expected, and had won the last two races (not including the one she'd just finished). Carth had found it a little disturbing how easily she had manipulated the Hutt with the Force, making him pay her more for winning each race, so instead of getting ten Racing-bonds for the first, she'd gotten thirty, and eighty of the second, and she was going to get one-hundred and ninety for this one, and each Bond was worth sixty credits, give or take a few, which totaled to roughly eighteen-thousand credits altogether.
Zora walked into Swoop Registration Building, receiving cheers, whistles, and one marriage proposal from a rather drunk hunter, who was escorted outside by two Czerka soldiers. Zora gave Carth a smile, a looked around for a moment to find Juhani discussing something with a young Twi'lek man.
"What's happening over there?" Zora asked, walking over to stand next to Carth while Juhani walked over to the slimy Hutt at the back of the room.
"Motta wanted us to talk Nico, the Twi'lek, into signing on with him. The only trouble is, Motta wants a hefty part of Nico's winnings, so Juhani's taken it upon herself to rid Tatooine of unfair managers." Carth and Zora both chuckled and that, then Carth continued. "She's been walking between Nico and Motta since you started racing, bargaining with them to try and get a fair deal."
At that moment, Juhani came back over to them. "Okay, I have finally gotten Nico a fair deal." She said, smiling. "And I got that good-for-nothing slug to cough up some extra racing-bonds for you. There's ten or fifteen more in there for you."
The Cathar Jedi handed Zora the many small chips that the Hutt had called 'racing-bonds', and then turned back to see Nico arguing with Motta the Hutt about something else. "You know, no matter how often you try to help someone, they always seem to find another problem." She said sadly.
Zora nodded. "That's what being a sentient is all about, never getting what you want."
"Oh come on," Carth said as they exited the Swoop Registration. "We're not all that bad, are we?"
"Well, some of you are pretty good." Zora said, her eyes flickering in Carths direction for a minute, and then returning to the direction ahead of them when Juhani looked over at her.
"So, did you find anything about your father?" She asked.
Zora sighed, then she smiled. "Yep, one of the swoop jockeys said to look over at the hunting lodge if he was a hunter – I don't know why Kayle didn't just send us there first!"
Carth nodded. "Come on, the sooner we get there, the sooner we find your father."
"Come on, the sooner we find this cave, the sooner I can leave my mother behind." Bastila said, apparently frustrated.
"You know, you could've been a little nicer." Kayle suggested, and then winced as she turned her acidic gaze upon him.
"Can you believe that she had the nerve to tell us to find his Holocron, even though she didn't even lift a finger to try and tell me he'd died?" The young Jedi Kayle had once known as Bastila seemed to have been replaced by an angry child with an attitude, which he told to Bastila, which got him hit around the face.
"I didn't know girls could hit so hard." Kayle said, and caught Bastila's wrist as she tried to hit him again. "Did you really have to tell her you felt like an orphan?"
"Well, it's true. My father's dead, and he was the only real family I had." Bastila snapped, trying to pull her wrist out of his grip. "That woman was a complete stranger to me during my childhood, and she gave me to the Jedi, I wouldn't be surprised if she'd been the one who brought them to us!"
"Well, here's some advice, one orphan to another," Kayle said as he struggled to keep hold of her wrist. "Don't give up on family so easily, because one day you may wake up, and find yourself alone." Kayle said. Bastilas' gaze turned from acidic to icy, but she didn't say anything. Kayle had come to interpret silence as a vague acceptance of his words, and learned not to push if she didn't shove. He released his grip and she walked up ahead of them, in the general direction of the gates that stood between them and leaving Anchorhead.
After a heated discussion with the gate guard, the two Jedi and the Astromech droid turned around and headed back in the direction of the Ebon Hawk. Aside from Kayle learning where Bastilas' temper and stubbornness came from, they hadn't succeeded much in their mission. As they passed the Czerka office, they ran into Mission; literally, Kayle ran right into her and the two of them fell down onto the dusty street.
"Next time look before you- Oh, Kayle." Mission realized who'd run into her. "Sorry, I thought you were that Duros again, he had a real bad temper."
"So, did you get the hunting licenses?" Kayle asked.
"Yep, we just need the gate guard to register them, and then scan them, and we'll be free to come and go as we please." Mission said. "How'd you guys go?"
"Don't ask." Kayle said. He picked himself up off the ground and then helping Mission get up. "Let's just get back to the Ebon Hawk; maybe Zora and Carth and Juhani have had some luck. Oh, and did you find out where Griff is?"
Mission didn't say anything, so Kayle didn't push the matter – she'd tell him in her own time. He just hoped that wouldn't be too long.
They decided to wait a day or so to learn what they could about the dune sea, and the Sand People that inhabited it. That night, after dinner, Zora cornered Carth on his way to the refresher.
"You've been acting distant today, Carth." She said. "Is something wrong?" Carth shook his head quickly.
"Oh... it's nothing. Sorry." He said, trying to duck under Zora's arm. He failed, and she pulled him back up to look her in the eyes.
"Out with it, Carth. I won't have you moping." She said flatly, giving him a serious look.
"Moping? I'm not moping!" Carth snapped. Zora tilted her head to one side, and Carth bowed his head. "I... okay, fine, maybe I'm moping a little, but you're very pushy, you know that?"
"Yeah, it's one of the few things I inherited from my father." Zora said, smiling a little too innocently.
Carth didn't say anything for a minute. Then with a deep breath, he told her, "I told you earlier, that my wife died four years ago. I... I've just been trying to remember what she looked like." He said. "It shouldn't be so difficult. I can remember things about her... things she did. The way she smiled, what her hair smelled like, our last fight... just not her face.
"I try to hold it in my head but it's gone. Is... that strange? Maybe I shouldn't be talking to you about this."
"I'll admit, it is strange to discuss her." Zora said.
Carth sighed, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have mentioned it, even if you asked. I just find you, I don't know... easy to talk to." Zora smiled at this comment. Carth continued. "I, uh... it must look really strange for me to be obsessing like this, still. You must think I'm incredibly stupid."
Zora shook her head. "No, but I doubt your wife would want you to do this to yourself."
"I... suppose you're probably right. But I have to do it, anyway." Carth insisted. "The only thing that's kept me going since she died has been the need to find Saul and kill him. It's better to think about that than... anything else. If I can do that, then maybe I can let her go. Let it all go. If we encounter Saul... if we ever have the chance, promise me that I will be the one to kill him. I have to settle this... I need to."
Zora blinked a few times. "Well, I'm not really the one to request that of. Kayle's the one in charge." Carth looked away, and she added, "But if we get the opportunity, I'll do everything I can to make sure you do."
Carth gave Zora a thankful look. "Thank you. I... guess there's really nothing else to say."
Bastila was in the Living Area/Garage, studying the Kashyyyk and Dantooine maps, now that they were merged together. Even with two, there was little more then there was when there was one. She looked up as a shadow passed over her, her hand going for her lightsaber. She relaxed when she saw it was Erik. "Can I help you with something?"
"When we last talked you said you needed time to think. So?" Erik asked. Bastila sighed. She had hoped Erik had forgotten, but emotions, especially love and passion, were hard to forget, and Erik seemed to be filled with both.
"You have been patient with me, haven't you?" She said, trying to dodge the question. Erik picked up on it, and gave her a level look. She sighed again. "I suppose you deserve an answer. But you have to understand how difficult this is for me to say."
Erik nodded. "I'm a Jedi too remember."
"Then you understand why this is so hard for me." Bastila said. "With all my training, I should be able to control myself better than this. But you're not anything like I expected. You're not like any man I've ever met before. I find myself watching you when I don't mean to. I'm thinking about you when I don't want to. It isn't supposed to be like this!"
Erik recoiled slightly at her snappish manner. She mumbled an apology. Then Erik spoke, "What are you trying to say, exactly?"
"Every time I try to call on all my teachings to calm myself, they fail me." Bastila explained. "You have such power, such passion! I don't know why, but I find myself drawn to you."
"Are you interested in me or in my ability to use the Force?" Erik question. He was probing her mind, trying to find an answer. She was unsure if she wanted to block him out or let him read her – both were for the same reason.
"The Force is a part of you, as is your power." She said. "But that's not what attracted me to you. It's more than that. Maybe it's the fact we have spent a lot of time together over the past month, between that and the connection we both have with the Force, it gives us a certain... intimacy. If I could, I would return to Dantooine. I need to be away from you, away from the power you seem to hold over me; away from the power in you."
"But Revan must be stopped; my own feelings are nothing when compared to that. And I can't leave Kayle, not with the Bond that joins us." Bastila gave a long sigh. "Yet I know this could affect the sake of our mission if it is not resolved - I can't let that happen!"
"Just give in to your feelings, Bastila. I know you want to." Erik said persuasively, and Bastila was wondering if he'd used the Force in his words. She certainly felt an urge to do so, but she resisted it.
"I think... I think we should have some privacy for this. Come with me." She led him to the Starboard Dormitory. Juhani, Kayle and Mission were all doing training exercises with swords, and Zora was off somewhere with Carth, so they wouldn't be disturbed anytime soon. When they reached the Dormitory, Bastila closed and locked the door, and then turned to Erik, who had sat down on one of the beds, looking her up and down.
"Well…?" He asked after a moment. Bastila took a deep breath, and began her explanation.
"I promised you an answer earlier, and I intend to keep that promise. But I fear it is not an answer you will like." She said. "I can't deny that there are parts of you I am drawn to. Your power, your will. Despite everything that you are I…I feel compelled to be with you.
"In some ways you make me feel weak, you make me feel as if I am ensnared in a web of passion, and you are the spider. But at the same time you make me feel so much stronger; so much more alive."
"And I feel more alive when I'm with you." Erik said hopefully.
"Now I realize that it is the Force, your power that I am attracted to." Bastila said, and Erik was sure he noticed a hint of sadness in her voice. "You represent everything I strive to be, you are a near legend among the Jedi, for both your fighting skills and your affinity with the Force. The Jedi Council surely realized I would find myself attracted to you; they knew my loyalty to the doctrines of our Order would be tested on this mission.
"By facing and overcoming my feelings for you I have learned a valuable lesson about control and the dangers of emotion. This is an important step in understanding the Force. I'm sorry if this is not what you wanted to hear. But I felt it was important you know our... infatuation... was nothing more than a result of our two collective Force energies being so near each other."
If she had thought Erik was going to be relieved by this, she was sorely wrong. The older man looked to the floor for a moment. When he looked back up, there was a mixture of hurt and anger in his eyes. "So I was just a stepping stone to you becoming a Master?" He asked; his voice was as sharp as a vibrosword.
"Please, don't say it like that." Bastila begged, tears welling up in her eyes. "You make it sound like I was using you! Don't you realize how difficult this was for me?"
Erik stood so fast Bastila almost didn't see it. "Difficult for you? How do you think I feel? I was willing to risk my entire life's work to be with you!"
"Why do you think I came to this decision?" Bastila snapped, tears now running freely; tears of pain, anger, grief. "I know how hard this is for both of us! You just kept pressing forward, so I had to be the one to step up and do the right thing! I will not have you risking your role as a Jedi for something that doesn't exist!"
"I don't believe it!" Erik snapped. Bastila saw the beginning of tears in his eyes now, but he held them in. "If being a Jedi means I have to give up love, give up you, I will leave the Order! The love I feel for you is not the result of two collective Force energies!"
Bastila looked him right in the eyes and she saw truth in them. "You... you mean it, don't you? But how can I be sure you aren't making a mistake. I... I have to resist. I have to be strong for both of us."
"You don't always have to be strong, Bastila. Give in just this once." Erik whispered, stepping forward and taking her slender hand in his battle hardened one. "I love you Bastila. And I know you love me."
She wasn't sure how it happened. She wasn't sure why she had given in, but Bastila suddenly found herself in a deep, passionate kiss with Erik. And then they were stripping off their outer robes as they backed toward one of the beds. Bastila sighed inwardly – she would have a lot of explaining to do in the morning.
But until then…
A/N: That's right; I'm doing both Romance Side Quests, just to make sure I don't give it away. I almost always get to the Bastila Romance by Tatooine, and I wanted them to happen at around the same time, so here they are (BTW, I'm also going to ruin the Romance for both Bastila and Carth).