There was a mistake in the last chapter. There are actually FIVE feminine voices, not SIX.
Previously on Yu-gi-oh: Five mysterious girls appear Yugioh theme song, Dun dun dun…
There were four unknown Asian girls and one…half Asian one. (She's half Japanese and half Macedonian)
"Who the hell are you?" Alex asked.
"You're Alex Rider!" One screamed, and ran up to him. She started jumping around and waving her arms. The author got bored of having her friends in her story for five seconds, so she deleted them. The five girls went kapoot, yeah, just like that, kapoot, and disappeared.
Alex Rider stared at the spot where the girl jumping around him had been. "I'm sad," he said in a baby voice.
"Why?" Dartz wanted to know.
"I didn't get to show that girl my Arnold pose."
Dartz stared. Or rather, stared through his stupid-looking hot pink with purple polka dotted sunglasses. "Wanna see my great Leviathan?" he asked Alex. "Yeah, you know you wanna, come on, you know you wanna."
"Yeah, I wanna!" Alex said, cheering up.
Dartz patted him on his head and said, "Okay, let's go!"
"I'm going too!" Pegasus said. "I want to see if the Leviathan broke my pool."
"I'm going to ensure that the world is not destroyed by the great evil," Yami said dramatically.
"I'm going to see if the Leviathan knows what this spaghetti stuff is," Tea said.
So they all decided that visiting the Leviathan was just spiffy so they skipped off to the largest pool in the house.
Location: Largest pool in the house
(A/N the Leviathan, in my story, can talk. Just to make it funnier.)
"Ah," the Leviathan said, closing its eyes. "This is the life." It suddenly opened its eyes and looked down at itself. "Ooh, look I've got a good tan."
It used its tail to pick up a mirror with roses twirling around it (it was Dartz's) and admired its own reflection. "Ooh, who's the good looking dragon?" the Leviathan asked its reflection. "You are the good looking dragon," the mirror replied. It was actually a cousin of the 'mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all' mirror.
"Oh goodie," the Leviathan said, and put the mirror down. It reached (with its tail) towards a set of drawers at the side of the pool. It belonged to Pegasus. The Leviathan opened a drawer and took out a tube of mascara and began applying mascara to its eyes.
Location: Somewhere in Pegasus' house.
"We are doomed," Yami said dramatically.
"We are doomed," Alex echoed.
"Hey Dartz," Tea said in her must-be-on-the-good-side-with-Yugi-and-be-negative-towards-biker dudes-and-Dartz voice. "Where are the biker dudes?"
"Well," Dartz said importantly. "They're somewhere in this house."
"Tells us a lot," Tea said cheerfully.
"Onwards towards the pool!" Pegasus said.
"We can't," Yami snapped dramatically. "We're lost."
"We are not lost," Pegasus said. "Since I am Maximillian Pegasus, I have an innate sense of direction…"
Everyone falls over, anime-style.
"G'day!" Valen said, popping out of a side door. "Hi, mates!"
Tea screamed and hid behind Alex, who quickly struck an Arnold pose in case this boy disappeared like the girl before. Valen stared at him. "Who the f are you?" he asked.
There was a high-pitched girly scream from one of the other side-doors. "Oh no!" Yami said dramatically. "Someone is in danger!" He opened the side door. Artemis Fowl tumbled out, followed by Seto Kaiba. "AIYEE!" Artemis yelled. "Someone said a bad word!"
Valen swore a few times more in quick succession. Those words cannot be repeated since then this story would be upgraded to Teenage Fiction.
"You snake!" Kaiba yelled at Artemis. He never called anyone something worse than snake. "You gave away our hiding spot!"
"Well, it was too small anyway," Artemis sulked. "Butler couldn't fit."
"Yeah, and he smashed up the last wardrobe we tried to hide in," Kaiba snapped. "Where is he, by the way?"
Right then, there was a loud, high-pitched scream from far, far away.
"Oh no!" Yami said dramatically. "Someone is in danger!"
He ran towards the sound, and half an hour later found Butler being waved around by the Leviathan's tail. The Leviathan was crying its yellow eyes out. "This meano man said I was ugly!" it explained to Dartz, who was handing out tissues to it. Giant tissues with big love hearts on them. "I'm sorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Butler yelled as he swished through the air. "You ish preeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetttttteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"
"Not enough!" the Leviathan yelled at it.
"AHA!" Alex Rider yelled. "A monster to fight!" He jumped into the pool, grabbed the rose mirror and started climbing up the Leviathan's neck. It was so occupied with bashing Butler into the wall and making Butler scream the high-pitched scream that Yami heard before it didn't notice. Yami was currently lecturing Dartz on how this was an evil thing to do. Artemis was crying for his bodyguard, while Kaiba tried to look like he wasn't with this sissy. (Actually, I think Artemis Fowl is super-cool, but this IS a parody…) Tea was putting on lipstick, since it matched the 'spaghetti' on her clothing.
Alex reached the Leviathan's head and bashed it on the head. The Leviathan started crying more tears and dropped Butler on top of Artemis. "MEANO!" It yelled, thrashing around. Alex Rider, being the perfect person he really is, (NOT!) held on wildly and reached for some gadgets that Smithers had given him. There was perfume that made the air smelt nice, (but it also knocked out anything that smelt it) there was a watch that worked like a normal watch (but it also had garrot wire in it) and there was a Gameboy which had the game Maple Story Reloaded on it, (but it could also be transformed into a gun which fired infinite bullets) (N/A Alan Blunt had given in on letting Alex have weapons)
Alex got the perfume first and tried to push the little button that activates the nozzle on the top. Being a rough little boy, he actually broke the bottle on top of the Leviathan's head, and it fell into its mouth, and it ate the perfume, thus being the only thing that smelt the perfume.
The Leviathan crashed downwards, squashing Alex under its great bulk. Just then, a fat (and I mean REALLY fat) boy appeared, and said, "That's my job," indignantly to the unconscious Leviathan.
The boy's name was Bryan, and was really fat. He wore nerdy rectangular glasses. (I wear glasses, but heck, unlike Bryan, I'm not a nerd. I actually surprise people by ranting about guns and stuff, which is really odd to them because I'm a really bitty little girl and I wear glasses, which makes people think that I'm a complete bimbo) Bryan was pouting and glaring at the Leviathan. "I'M SUPPOSED TO SQUASH PEOPLE WITH MY GREAT BULK!" Bryan yelled.
"You really admit that?" Tea asked, who was anorexic and hated fat people. "You admit you're fat?"
"Um…NO!" Bryan shouted at her.
"Um…if you say so."
"Haha, you're fat," Alex said weakly.
Bryan started crying. "You're really mean!"
"Not my fault you're fat," Alex said. "You should die. AUTHOR!" He yelled suddenly. "Do something about this fat guy! The only fat one in the whole series of my biography is Smithers!"
The author appeared, frowning at Bryan. "Okay, I don't like you, you hobo, so I'll do something evil…" She disappeared again.
Alex started crying too. "That meano author did nothing at all," he moaned.
Just then, these little bitty mushrooms with cute little anime faces (just like from Maple Story Reloaded, Alex thought) appeared. They went and chopped off Bryan's toes and fingers, then lopped off his ears and nose, and crushed his glasses, and produced a vat of boiling oil and sheep dip, and dumped him in, and then took him out and stuck him inside a giant microwave.
BACK TO THE REAL STORY!
Alex was watching, enthralled. "Ooh," he oohed. "That's a good movie." The author appeared and hit him over the head. "You baka neko!" She yelled at him. "It's not a movie! BRYAN IS DYING! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Wait a minute!" Alex shouted. "You killed him! You are evil! I must save the world from demise!"
Yami joined in. "How could you!" he cried dramatically. "You're in the same league as Dartz!" The Dartz in question was in fact cooing over the unconscious Leviathan, and giving it CPR. Or at least, trying to. Kaiba was looking around at anything that didn't look stupid, since he didn't want to look at the dumb stuff, such as some guy with sunglasses and a bathrobe and LOOOONG hair kissing a big dragon in the mouth, and a make-up coated Tea, and the Artemis moaning about how his Armani suit was being squashed by Butler, who was unconscious, and Yami and Alex trying to persuade the evil author to go onto the good side, and the dead bodies of Joey and Tristan which had been dragged along. Valen was just about the only sane person around…or was he?
He was sitting against the wall, having a ciggie. "Hey Kaiba," he said. "Alistair is looking for you."
"Really?" Kaiba asked, interested. "Cool! Where is he?"
Valen shrugged. "I dunno, I think he wanted a toilet break before…"
"AHA!" Kaiba yelled. "SHOW ME TO THE TOILETS!" So Valen and Kaiba left on an aspiring quest to look for the toilets.
The author got frustrated with Alex and Yami, so she threatened to throw a flashbang grenade at them. Yami, however, stood his ground and played Tomias. Alex was attempting to strike an Arnold pose while still being squashed by the Leviathan's great bulk and Dartz, who was still giving it CPR. The mushrooms were dancing around the microwave (which was in fact floating over the pool itself) and chanting words in Maple Story Reloaded language.
"Wow, Tomias, your eye looks bad," the author said, looking concerned. "That can be fixed!" she took out a mobile phone and started dialling. "Hello? Doctor?"
"Yes?" a deep voice asked. "Who is it?"
"This is the author, and because I'm the author, I'm getting you to come here to fix up a dragon's eye. It looks like it's gonna BURST."
"Oh dear," the deep voice said. "I'm coming over right away. TAXI!"
The author hung up, waved happily and disappeared.
Tomias looked around, confused. "Growl?" he growled.
"Don't worry," Yami assured him dramatically. "The doctor is coming." (A/N I'm putting this here because most of you won't read my bio. I've got a new e-mail account, E-mail me there.)
Will Yami realize that the doctor is not who he really seems to be? Will Tomias realize that Yami is a stupid owner? Will Tea realize that she's got brains on her, not spaghetti? Will Artemis realize that being squashed by Butler is not as bad as being squashed by the Leviathan? Will Alex (our hero) realize that being squashed by the Leviathan is not as bad as being squashed by the Leviathan? Will Valen and Kaiba realize that searching for Alistair has a good point to it?
Will the mushrooms realize that chanting will not make Bryan die faster? (you see, he has so much lard that he needs to burn it off) And finally, will the author realize that this story is totally crazily stupid? And finally, finally, will the readers of this story realize that it is wise to read and review, because then if they don't, there is a risk of being invaded by mushrooms?
Find out in the next episode of Yu-gi-oh! Or the next book (chapter?) of Alex Rider! Or the next book (chapter?) of Artemis Fowl!