My first fanfic, so go easy on me. There's going to be more. Give me reviews anyway. Anyone who reviews gets an authentic cane.

"Nooooooo!" House cried as Mario tumbled down into the dark abyss, and "Game Over" flashed on the screen of House's favorite red gameboy.

"Murderer!" House looked up at the annoyed face of Cuddy. "You'll be the one paying for the funeral."

"It'll be more then just Mario's funeral if you don't get to the clinic right now." Another one of Cuddy and House's famous banters. Cuddy lived for them. But she would sooner die then let House know that.

"Can't. I have to go to morgue." There is one thing you can count on House for, and that is avoiding clinic duty at all costs.

Cuddy sighed. As much as she loved these arguments, she had work that needed to get done. "Why do you need to go to the morgue?" Cuddy already knew why House wanted to go to the morgue. The morgue is the furthest place in the hospital from the clinic.

"I just read a book on resurrection, and I wanted to give it a try. It works best on the freshly dead."

"Clinic. Now!" To Cuddy's surprise, House gave in. Depositing his gameboy in his pocket, House climbed out of his closet. The broom that had been next to him minutes before, not wanting to be deprived of its companion, fell out of the closet, and onto House's head. Cuddy laughed.

"Owwwww! Mommy, I have a booboo." Honestly, sometimes House could be such a baby.

"Go put a band-aid on it at the clinic." House took a couple vicodin. Mumbling under his breath, House hobbled down the hallway and, after checking to see if Cuddy was watching, rounded the corner and ducked into the next closet.

Cuddy pulled House out of seven closets before finally getting House to the clinic. She was starting to think that House was doing this just to annoy her.

"Here is your folder. There is your patient. That is your Exam Room. Go!" Cuddy practically shoved House into Exam Room 2. She stood guard by the door, sending in more and more patients, and making sure House didn't escape. So much for getting that work done, Cuddy thought. She couldn't figure out why she kept babysitting House, why she even put up with him. It was probably because – Cuddy's train of thought was interrupted by House barging out of the Exam Room.

"Where are you going?"

"Home. I know you sleep in the hospital, but I actually have a life."

"Barely." Cuddy looked down at her watch. It was exactly five o'clock. "Fine. Go home."

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House had been home for a whole ten minutes before deciding he was hungry. On the way to the kitchen, House saw that there was a message on his machine. Probably Wilson, House thought. Something told him to listen to it anyway. Taking an extra vicodin, just because he was behind, he pressed play.

"Hi Greg."

Hi Greg? That's not Wilson. It sounded like a woman's voice anyway.

"It's Mom. Michelle is still in Australia, so your father and I are coming to you for Thanksgiving."

Oh no. Mom. Dad. Thanksgiving.

House's usually overly competent brain was having trouble processing this bit of information.

"Curse Michelle and her kangaroos." House said to his counter. " Stupid good-for-nothing sister. One day she and Chase will have a nice, long talk. That'll cure her of her obsession with Australia."

Now what to do about Thanksgiving and his parents. He could just not pick them up from the airport. No, House couldn't be that mean, even to his parents.

"Well, I can't face them alone." House continued his conversation with the counter. He found his furniture perfect to talk to, because they didn't say stupid things back. Then again, neither did Cuddy.

"I need someone there to save me."

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"Come on!" House was practically begging Wilson to come for Thanksgiving.

"Julie will kill me if I go out for Thanksgiving. Her family is coming over, and they already think badly of me. Not to mention Julie. I don't know how much longer my marriage is going to last." Wilson wondered why his parents were never invited over for the holidays.

"That's the worst part of getting married. The wife. That's why I cleverly don't have one." House thought Wilson was a little bit stupid for wanting marriage so much. It clearly didn't want him.

"I can't face them myself!"

"Who?" Now Wilson was interested.

"My parents."

"You have parents?" Now Wilson was astonished.

"No. I was the result of a mad scientist's experiment gone right."

Wilson didn't push it. Obviously there were some issues with House and his parents. Nope. Wilson's curiosity got the better of him. He couldn't hold it in.

"How come they've never come over before?"

"They usually go to my sister for Thanksgiving, and all the other holidays. Or they stay home. But my Mom can't make a turkey, and my sister is in Australia."

House was enjoying this conversation less and less. His lunch of stale noodles wasn't doing much for his appetite, and the cafeteria was giving him a headache.

"Are you going to come or not?"

"I wish I could." Wilson wasn't jealous of House having his parents over, but he would rather spend Thanksgiving anywhere but with Julie. She wasn't giving him much choice in the matter, though.

"Great friend you are." House mumbled.

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House listened to the message again.

"Hi Greg. It's Mom. Michelle is still in Australia, so your father and I are coming to you for Thanksgiving. Pick us up at Newark Airport on Wednesday, November 23rd. Our flight lands at four o'clock."

That was it. She didn't sound too happy about coming. She probably wouldn't have come if Dad hadn't made her. He hates having Thanksgiving in the house, just the two of them. He needs to have Thanksgiving with family. Mom wasn't exactly House's biggest fan.

"Well," House said to the refrigerator, "That was then. This is now. I doubt Mom has changed, I haven't changed, and Dad is probably the same as ever. Wilson won't be there to save me. I definitely can't face them alone. This is not good."

House picked up his yellow glow-in-the-dark yoyo, and sat down, deep in thought.

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"We have a new case." House dropped a blue folder onto the table in the conference room. Immediately, Chase pounced. House was only half-paying attention while Chase read out the symptoms. He sloppily wrote them on the board, not taking his eyes off his ducklings. Today he didn't care about the case. He already was pretty sure about what Mr. Boyce had. No, today he was observing his candidates, and not paying the slightest attention to the possible diagnoses for Mr. Boyce, as Foreman pointed out.

"You spelled vasculitis wrong."

"Oops." No, Foreman wouldn't do. Foreman is a nice enough guy, but I wouldn't want him anywhere near my personal life, House thought.

Cameron felt House's eyes on her. She did everything she could to stop herself from blushing. She wondered what was going on in that amazing head of House's, and why he was acting so strange. She wondered what he was doing for Thanksgiving. Somehow, she couldn't bring herself to ask him. There was a lot she wanted to ask him, but couldn't. She knew she wasn't doing anything for Thanksgiving.

What was going on in House's head also had to do with Thanksgiving, but his thoughts were on a train heading in the opposite direction. My parents would like Cameron, House thought. But asking her over might make her think I want her. No, it would be completely wrong. Cameron's out of the picture.

House then moved on to Chase. The Aussie. House imagined him with a kangaroo tail. He laughed. The ducklings looked at him, confused.

"Are you feeling alright?" Chase asked, annoyed. He had just suggested a perfectly good diagnosis and House had laughed.

"What?" House was having trouble getting the picture of kangaroo Chase out of his head. "Go do some tests, get me some blood. Go meshugana." At that the ducklings exited, leaving House to contemplate. No, Chase wouldn't do.

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Cuddy was House hunting once again. After checking all the closets, the men's room, and the clinic, she went for his office. Cuddy could see House sitting there, playing with his yoyo. Sometimes Cuddy couldn't believe how childish he was. Here is a brilliant man, wasting his brains watching the OC. House didn't seem to notice Cuddy walking right up to his door. She was about to open it, when something stayed her hand. Cuddy thought she had heard a phone ring. Then Cuddy did a very unCuddy-like thing. She pressed her ear against the door and peered into the glass wall next door. Cuddy wasn't thinking about what people would say if they saw her. She was thinking about what House said next.

"Hi Mom."

What? House has parents? Cuddy almost fell over. Of course he has parents. Cuddy bent her mind back to listening to House.

"Yes, I got your message. No, I won't forget to pick you up. No, I won't burn the turkey." House sounded eager to end the conversation. He looked thoroughly miserable. "Bye Mom." House closed his call phone and picked up his yoyo again, lost in thought.

Cuddy figured it was a good time to remove her face from House's door, and did so. She was ashamed of herself. Why did she care so much about House? What if somebody had seen her? She didn't even know why she bothered to seek House out and make him to clinic duty. She could just make another doctor do it. Well, Cuddy thought, here comes another banter. She entered House's office.

"Clinic duty."

"Okay."

Cuddy stared at him. Did House just say okay? No fight, no banter, just "okay?" House must be really depressed, Cuddy thought.

IPod in hand, House pushed past Cuddy and out the door, but not without taking a poke at Cuddy's funbags first.

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House knew that Cuddy would be shocked at House giving in to clinic duty. He also knew that Cuddy had most probably heard him on the phone. He also knew that Cuddy would never look for him in his current hiding place, the women's bathroom. Well, if Cuddy could go into the men's room, he had every right to go into the women's room. Fair is fair.

"Uggghhh. Pink." House said to the sink. The sink wasn't as good to talk to as the furniture in House's house. It even looked stupid. House leaned against a stall, deep in thought.

Cuddy had probably learnt everything from those four sentences. She knew all about his parents coming for Thanksgiving, at least his Mom. So what? She didn't know the history. She didn't know how House's parents had wanted a girl, and never wanted Gregg. They hadn't been ready for him, so they ignored him. She didn't know how House had just been shoved aside when Michelle was born. He was pushed away like a failed experiment. She didn't know how it felt seeing all the other kid's parents cheering them on at soccer, and knowing your own parents weren't there, that they didn't care. They didn't even want House to go to college. He wanted to be a doctor, and they refused to pay for his college tuition. House had worked his butt off to get that scholarship, and his parents had just kicked him out of the house, happy to be rid of him. He had bought an apartment with the money he had been saving up since he had learnt how to count, and had forgotten about his parents. They had always forgotten him. But Cuddy didn't know any of this.

Cuddy. House had been so busy trying to figure a way out of being stuck with his parents he had totally forgotten about Cuddy. She had already heard that House's parents were coming for Thanksgiving. She might make annoying inquiries afterwards, but House was sure he could deal with it. Besides, House didn't know what else to do.