Hello my darlings I have returned, this time with the gift of a Sirius/Hermione one-shot. This most likely isn't any good as I wrote this between 1 and 3 am. However I made a promise to myself that I would write a Sirius/Hermione fic if one thing happened and it did. And oh yeah, if while reading this you get blatant SG-1 imagery well that was where my inspiration started-the MALP and the gate. Also, if you were wondering what that one thing was well then see the statement in bold below:

WE DID IT, WE BEAT THE PATRIOTS! COLTS- 40 PATRIOTS- 21. IT ONLY TOOK US SEVEN FRIGGIN' GAMES BUT WE DID IT. GOOOOOOOOO COLTS, I LOVE YA!

Errr sorry but I had to get that out of my system, I'm okay now.

Disclaimer: Do we really need to go through with this, it's all such a horrid formality. The day I get my male harem of Draco, Sirius, Remus, Jack and Will is the day that I own Harry Potter.

"Stupid ministry officials! Too damn hidebound for their own good. I can't take the insanity anymore."

Hermione Granger was not having a good day – understatement of the year! It had been two long years since the defeat of Voldemort. The magical world was recovering well but there were still holes in her friends' lives, not to mention her own. After the war was over the Golden Trio had their pick of careers open to them. Hermione had quickly become an Unspeakable, the constant challenge of unsolved mysteries appealed greatly to her. Hermione's main interest was the Veil. It had taken one much loved from their group and Hermione was damned if she wouldn't figure it out. There seemed no way to be able to see what was beyond the fluttering curtain. It wasn't until that morning that Hermione had her great epiphany. The wizarding world had long denied the advances in muggle technology. Hermione however was a modern day witch. Muggledom was firmly integrated into her life- she refused to be without the ability to watch hunky men, can anyone say Goblin King ? It had been during her bowl of Cheerios watching Labyrinth that Hermione realized the perfect way to see beyond the Veil. No not crystals, she shuddered, too Trelawneyesque. No if she could send a camera through the Veil that would relay video feed, then that would be a good start to obtaining answers.

XxXxXxXx

It was now late afternoon and there was an irate witch storming down the halls of the ministry. Only fools remained in her path, namely Percy Weasley, who happened to have a condescending smirk on his face when he saw Hermione flouncing through the halls.

"Well Miss Granger, I heard your rather unique proposal was denied. I can't say I'm surprised really. You know you should," it was at this point when Percy realized he was facing the business end of Hermione's wand.

"Don't start if you know what's good for you Percy Weasley or I shall make anything the twins have ever done to you seem a picnic in comparison."

While Percy sputtered at being interrupted he immediately began to resemble a blowfish, constantly inhaling and releasing so much air. Hermione didn't care for anymore histrionics that day, she had to begin plotting.

XxXxXxXx

Hermione was getting ready to leave the Burrow later that evening when Remus pulled her aside.

"Hermione you've been rather distracted this evening. Would you like to tell me what's troubling you?"

Remus was given a calculated stare as he could see Hermione waging an internal battle.

"It's nothing Remus, well, something. Don't worry though it's just me at loggerheads with the burecratic prats. But they'll see. They chose the wrong witch to disregard."

Before Remus could respond Hermione had apparated away. Remus chewed his lip in concern but then reassured himself that Hermione was a level-headed person, she wouldn't do anything irrational.

If only Remus was aware that at that moment Hermione was making her way towards the Veil he may have worried a bit more. As it was Hermione was currently installing the batteries in a remote control car after carefully duct taping a video camera to said car. It was crude at best but this was just an initial test after all. With a little prayer to whatever gods were listening Hermione sent the little car into the darkness that was the Veil. Hermione did a slow 360 degree pan of the surroundings before carefully making a final 180 with the remote to return the little toy car back through the Veil.

She honestly could not say who was more surprised-herself at seeing a naked Sirius Black chasing after her little car or Sirius when he finally stopped muttering about some spawn of Hades when he noticed her standing there gaping at him. Sirius recovered first and immediately hugged Hermione squeezing the stuffing out of her. Hermione turned the infamous Weasley red and began to choke. Sirius looked at her in concern, heartily thumping her on the back. Hermione managed to stammer out a few words, "chest…naked time…clothes." She then shrieked when she felt skin on skin contact, looking down to find herself devoid of clothing. Hermione blanched and then hugged herself close to Sirius so he wouldn't get an eyeful, ignoring the fact that she was now pressed fully into him. She looked up as she felt Sirius' chuckle vibrate through his chest. He was smiling roguishly as his wand dangled between his fingers.

"Sirius Orion Black what the bloody hell were you thinking?"

Sirius' grin only intensified. "Well you said something about naked time and obviously you needed a little help getting out of your clothes. I'm nothing if not a helpful man."

"Don't you mean an utter prat. What kind of man returns from all but dead and then proceeds to get a girl naked? Unbelievable!"

"Ah don't think so much love; it just shows I have higher priorities than the average man."

Hermione tugged at her hair in exasperation.

"Don't call me love and return my clothes at once."

"Okay sweets."

Hermione snarled half-heartedly and spun on her heel to leave. She felt him fall into step beside her and gave him a sidelong glance. Sirius was staring abstractedly into space so she gave him a firm pinch. Sirius turned and sharply stared at her.

"Sirius don't you think that if you're going out in public you should be, oh I don't know, clothed?"

Sirius gave her a sheepish grin. "Errr… I forgot."

XxXxXxXx

Needless to say everyone was pleased with Sirius' return, if not a little bit shocked. The ministry was forced to concede that Hermione's idea might have merit once they saw the footage from beyond the Veil. Hermione merely hmphed as she turned in her resignation. She was promptly asked to teach at Hogwarts and gladly accepted. As for Sirius, he pursued Hermione until she agreed to date him. What else was she to do when the man followed everywhere at her heels like an adoring puppy. The fact that he was handsome as sin didn't hurt either. Hermione was contemplating this last thought with a little grin on her face as she walked towards her classroom to prepare for the seventh year Gryffindors and Slytherins. As soon as she stepped across the threshold she felt her clothes disappearing while the door slammed shut and locked. The ensuing "Sirius Orion Black" was heard throughout the castle. As the seventh year Gryffs and Slytherins approached their Charms classroom they noticed the sign on the door that simply read, "Class Canceled." They didn't question what was going on as they heard the giggles and moans coming from behind the door. After all, who were they to look a gift horse in the mouth?

Hi! Me again. So this was my first Sirius/Hermione please let me know what you think. I haven't let anyone read this and I proofed it while I typed so give me some feedback if it so pleases you. I'm leaving now, some of my chaos and destruction has been missing lately so I'm off to set traps, errr find it that is.

Legessa